Thursday, December 10, 2015        Edition: #5590

Sheet Happens!

★ Want to be first in line to watch “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”? You’re too late. The film doesn’t open for another 8 days, yet some hardcore fans are already camped out. In reality, “Force Awakens” tickets have been offered online 2 months in advance so there’s no need to actually wait in a line to buy a ticket. And if you’re really picky about your seat, many theaters offer reserved seating. A truly determined “Star Wars” fan nowadays has plenty of options (ie: Craigslist) without busting out a tent and sleeping bag for a week. Some participants are there to raise money for Starlight Children’s Foundation; others just want bragging rights for being first.
★ Anna Todd started out writing One Direction-inspired fan fiction on the website Wattpad … and then she become a phenomenon. After her work hit more than 800 million reads in Summer 2014, Simon & Schuster’s Gallery Books won a bidding war for the publishing rights in a mid-6-figure deal. Todd has released 3 books in her “After” series, which follows a romance between a Harry Styles-inspired bad-boy and a sweet college girl. That series is being developed for a feature film. And this week her new book “Before” is out. It’s told from the viewpoint of male protagonist ‘Hardin’.
★ And Queen Latifah is set to star in a new music drama from “Empire” co-creator Lee Daniels. The singer/actress will lead the cast of the as-yet-untitled pilot which focuses on the rise of an all-female singing group from Atlanta GA. Latifah is set to play the owner of a local beauty salon who mentors the girl group. The show will mark the Grammy-winning singer’s first starring TV role since the 1990s sitcom “Living Single”. Hip hop producer Swizz Beatz, whose wife Alicia Keys currently has a recurring role on “Empire”, will create the music for the new series.

• “BBC Music Awards” (BBC One) – Adele and Florence + The Machine lead the way, both nominated for ‘British Artist Of the Year’ as well as ‘BBC Live Performance Of the Year’. Other nominees include Ed Sheeran, Jamie XX, Foals, and Years & Years. Performances from Ellie Goulding, Little Mix, Mumford & Sons, and One Direction at Birmingham LG Arena.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Lukas Graham (“Blue Album”).
• “Dolly Parton’s Coat of Many Colors” (NBC) – Debut of a family-oriented holiday film based on the true story of Parton’s upbringing. The film is set in the Great Smokey Mountains of Tennessee in 1955, when Dolly was 9-years-old. Jennifer Nettles (Sugarland) plays her mother.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Run the Jewels (“Run the Jewels”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Ratatat (“Magnifique”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Cage the Elephant (“Tell Me I’m Pretty”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Andrea Bocelli (“Cinema”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Lizzo (“Lizzobangers”).
• “Michael Bublé’s Christmas in Hollywood” (NBC/CBC) – The Grammy Award-winner hosts his 5fth annual holiday special, with celebrity guests including Blake Shelton, Céline Dion, Eva Longoria, Jay Leno, Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings, Tori Kelly, and William Shatner. Bublé performs his latest Christmas song.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Jamie Lawson (“Jamie Lawson”).
• “Toy Story at 20: To Infinity and Beyond” (ABC) – This 1-hour “Toy Story” 20th anniversary special looks at the history of Pixar Animation Studios and their creation of the first feature-length computer-animated movie. Interviews from Pixar animators, producers, designers, and some of the voice talent from the film. The movie itself screens afterward.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Pitbull (“Climate Change”, coming 2016).

• Justin Bieber – This week cops were called to the Rosewood hotel in London after the Biebs took 4 (four!) young women back to his room following his performance at the Capital FM Jingle Bell Ball. Two of them apparently had an altercation, one causing a ruckus in the lobby area.
• Muse – Four new shows have been added in Canada for their 2015-16 “Drones World Tour”, beginning tonight in Vancouver BC. Tour dates are scheduled around-the-world, but only a handful of US dates have been announced so far.
• Pharrell Williams – He & Robin Thicke have now filed an appeal over the copyright lawsuit they lost earlier this year when found guilty of ripping off a Marvin Gaye song for their 2013 hit “Blurred Lines”. Even though the damages were reduced from $7.3 million to $3.2 million last week, attorneys have now filed an appeal with the Central District Court of California.
• Rick Ross – An aspiring rapper has been charged with trespassing for allegedly jumping a fence to leave a demo tape outside Ross’ Atlanta GA home in October. He also allegedly took a series of pictures and videos of the grounds and uploaded them to the Internet. He’s now facing a misdemeanor charge of criminal trespassing, according to
• Rihanna – Tonight Kevin Hart hosts her 2nd annual Diamond Ball in Santa Monica CA, benefitting her charitable Clara Lionel Foundation. Lionel Richie is a guest performer. Last year’s Diamond Ball raised over $2 million. Tonight Rihanna presents Michael Rapino, CEO of Live Nation, with the ‘Diamond Honors Award’ for his commitment to philanthropy.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Dirty Dancing” – A remake of the 1987 hit film is officially on the way in what’s being called a ‘special movie event’ on ABC-TV. According to the network, the new version will be a 3-hour special with filmed song and dance performances. They’ve already cast a brand-new ‘Baby’, and it’s “Scream Queens” star Abigail Breslin. Hmm, who will take over Patrick Swayze’s role?
• “The Disaster Artist” – James Franco is directing and also starring in this buddy comedy about
the making of the 2003 drama “The Room”, widely considered one of the worst movies of all-time. The disastrous film eventually developed a strong cult following. The cast also includes Seth Rogen and Zac Efron. The movie began shooting Monday in Los Angeles.
• “Hampstead” – This UK-based romance, to be shot next year, stars Oscar-winner Diane Keaton and Emmy-winning Irish actor Brendan Gleeson. Set in the leafy London suburb of the same name, the story is inspired by true-life events. Keaton plays an American widow who witnesses a man on Hampstead Heath being attacked by a group of professional thugs.
• L Frank Baum bio-pic – Oscar-winning Brit actor Eddie Redmayne stars in this upcoming life story about the author of “The Wizard of Oz”. The film centers on Baum’s colorful formative years in a New York Methodist family and the writing of his 1900 novel inspired by his ill niece Dorothy. The book was famously adapted into the iconic 1939 film starring Judy Garland.
• “Trainspotting 2” – Much of the original cast is reuniting for a follow-up to the 1996 film based on Irvine Welsh’s novel of the same name. The long-awaited sequel will be helmed by original director Danny Boyle; and actors Ewan McGregor, Jonny Lee Miller, and Robert Carlyle are all returning. It’s hoped the sequel can be released in 2016, the 20th anniversary of the original.

It’s official now … men have a better sense of direction than women. So says a new study from the Norwegian University of Science & Technology that finds men use different parts of their brains for “wayfinding” tasks compared to women. In experiments, men rely more on cardinal directions (north, south, east, west), take more shortcuts, and complete about 50% more navigational tasks than women. It’s thought the reason my be that male and female brains have evolved differently because, in ancient times, men were hunters and women were gatherers. In simple terms, a spokesperson says, women are faster at finding things in the house; while men are faster at finding the house.

Unlike Oxford Dictionaries which picked an emoji, is sticking with an actual word for its 2015 ‘Word Of the Year’ and it’s … ‘identity’. The site has unveiled its choice as the “clear front-runner”, noting many of the year’s biggest stories focused on the way in which individuals or members of a group are perceived, understood, accepted, or shut out, in reference to their gender, sexuality, and race. It specifically cites African-American wannabe Rachel Dolezal and transgender star Caitlyn Jenner. The site also says more people searched for words like transgender, cisgender, omnisexual, and gender-fluid over the past year.

If you think ‘Saint’ is out there, wait until you hear these actual tags for babies this year …
✗ ‘Armani’ … This boy’s name may not be in fashion, but it IS in style.
✗ ‘Arrow’ … For parents who think ‘Bullet’ is too mainstream.
✗ ‘Blade’ … Apparently he’s a sharp little boy.
✗ ‘Everest’ … Great name for guys, unless they grow up to be 5′-3.
✗ ‘Frooti’ … A girls’ name taken from the best-selling mango drink in India.
✗ ‘Heavens’ … Hope these little girls never sit next to a kid named ‘Betsy’.
✗ ‘Jedi’ … Sure to become even more popular once “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” opens.
✗ ‘Pi’ … These baby boys could also go by 3.141592.
✗ ‘Psalm’ … You’ll hear “Can you spell that, please?” 7 million frickin’ times in your life.
✗ ‘Sailor’ … Hey, looking for a good time, Sailor?
✗ ‘Story’ … Seriously, this was inflicted on a girl. “So what’s the story, Story?”
✗ ‘Twinkle’ … Do these parents realize how hellacious school is going to be for their daughters?

Sugar-producing bacteria could be used by astronauts to make food in space.


1960 [55] (Sir) Kenneth Branagh, Belfast, Northern Ireland, movie actor (“Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets”)/movie director (“Thor”)/screenwriter (“Hamlet”)  UP NEXT: Directs & stars in a remake of “Murder On the Orient Express”.

1964 [51] Bobby Flay, NYC, TV chef (8 different Food Network programs)

1974 [41] Meg White, Grosse Pointe Farms MI, former rock drummer (White Stripes-“Icky Thump”, “Seven Nation Army”)

1981 [34] Noah Harmon, Tucson AZ, rock bassist-vocalist (Airborne Toxic Event-“Changing”, “Sometime Around Midnight”)

1985 [30] Raven-Symone, Atlanta GA, TV panelist (“The View” 2015)/former TV actress (“That’s So Raven” 2002-07, “Kim Possible” 2002-07, “The Cosby Show” 1989-92)

• “Dewey Decimal Day”, honoring Melville Dewey who was born December 10, 1851 in Adams Center NY. When he was just 21, he invented the ‘Dewey Decimal Classification (DDC) System’ while working as a student assistant in the Amherst College library. For creating this revolutionary new filing system, he’s known as the ‘Father of Modern Librarianship’.

• “International Human Rights Day”, honoring the UN Declaration of Human Rights in 1948.

• “Nobel Prize Awards Day”. The awards were established by the will of Swedish chemist and dynamite inventor Alfred Nobel and have been held on this date since 1901. The current value of each award is over $1 million.

2005 [10] Comedian Richard Pryor dies of heart failure at the age of 65 after battling Multiple Sclerosis since 1986

2009 [06] James Cameron’s 3-D sci-fi epic “Avatar” has its world premiere in London (goes on to become highest-grossing movie of all-time at $2.8 billion)

1984 [31] African famine relief song “Do They Know It’s Christmas” by Band Aid is released

2012 [03] Colorado governor John Hickenlooper declares marijuana legal for recreational use

2013 [02] General Motors appoints Mary Barra its CEO, making her the 1st female to become the chief executive of an automotive company

1964 [51] Reverend Martin Luther King Jr is awarded the Nobel Peace Prize at age 35, the youngest to ever win the award

[Fri] “In the Heart Of the Sea” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] 2015 Billboard Women In Music Celebration (NYC)
[Fri] Nobel Peace Prize Concert (Oslo, Norway)
[Fri] International Mountain Day
[Sat] Fresh Breath Day
[Sat] Poinsettia Day
This Week Is … Human Rights Week
This Month Is … Worldwide Food Service Safety Month


Facebook: I like pooping on the rose bush
Twitter: I’m #poopingontherosebush
Instagram: Here’s a vintage photo of me pooping on the rose bush
YouTube: Look at me, I’m pooping on the rose bush!
Linked In: My skills include pooping on rose bushes
Foursquare: This is where I come whenever I want to poop on a rose bush
Pinterest: Here’s a design I created using my poop and a rose bush
Tinder: I like pooping on rose bushes. You?
– Thanks to Andy Simmons

My wife’s favorite position in bed is near the wall so she can use her phone while it’s still charging.

• A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.
• Dish soap is your friend.
• Buying dinner does not equal foreplay.
• Believe it or not, you’re probably not more attractive when you’re drunk.
• You’re wrong AND you’re sorry.

• When cooking a special dinner, always include something from each of the 4 major food groups: meat, fried, beer, and red.
• Never ask a guy to hold your purse in the mall.
• Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.
• Never question man’s innate navigational ability.
• “Fine” is not an acceptable way to end an argument.

☎ Imagine you’re going to space for 6 months and only have a 1.5 kg (3.5 lb) luggage allowance … what would you take?

• What is the actual title of Clement C Moore’s 1822 classic poem that begins “‘Twas the night before Christmas”?
a. “In Anticipation”
b. “A Visit From St Nicholas” [CORRECT]
c. “Jelly Belly”

• What was the object of the old English sport popular around 1800 called ‘gouging’?
a. To sell items at more inflated prices than competing retailers at a market.
b. To leave a deep scar in someone’s limb by jabbing them with a spike.
c. To pry out an opponent’s eye using a thumbnail. [CORRECT]
– “NY Library Book of Answers”

Question: Restaurant servers say they get 40% more tips when they do THIS.
Answer: Introduce themselves.

Hors d’oeuvres … a ham sandwich cut into 30 pieces.

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