Wednesday, December 13, 2017 – Edition: #6118

Sheet Happens!

★ Louis C.K.’s ‘I Love You, Daddy’ has been leaked online by a piracy group.  After being pulled from official release, Louis C.K. was reportedly working on buying back the rights to the movie so he would be able to release it himself, but it seems he has been beaten to the punch.  ‘I Love You, Daddy’ began popping up on torrent sites in the early hours of Monday morning, making the film available for download in its entirety.  The group that allegedly released the flick, Hive-CM8, wrote: “We decided to let this one title go out this month, since it never made it to the cinema, and nobody knows if it ever will go to retail at all.”
(Well, not NOW….!)
★ Chef Mario Batali is taking a leave of absence from his restaurant — and ABC’s “The Chew” —  following several allegations of sexual misconduct. Four women have come forward to accuse the chef of inappropriate touching over a span of 20 years.  A spokesperson for “The Chew” said Batali will be stepping away from the show while they “review the allegations that have just recently come to our attention.”  Batali released a statement, in which he did not deny any of the allegations.
★ Royal biographer Andrew Morton has announced he will be writing an in-depth biography of Meghan Markle ahead of her wedding to Prince Harry in the spring. Morton – who became well-known for writing the highly controversial book ‘Diana: Her True Story’, has described Markle as “a dramatic contrast to the blushing, coy royal brides of recent history”, and says he will give royal fans “a comprehensive, unparalleled look at her life prior to the royal engagement”.
(There’s a royal engagement? I hadn’t heard)
★ Kelly Ripa is opening up about her time working with her former ‘Live with Regis and Kelly’ co-host, Regis Philbin, and one of her revelations is that Philbin had a “mandate” that the pair didn’t talk off-screen. In a new interview with the New York Times, Ripa discusses how her relationship with current co-host, Ryan Seacrest — whom she texts at night and hangs with on weekends — is a stark contrast to her previous partnership with Philbin, who left the ABC morning show in 2011.
★ Lupita Nyongo ”needed” to learn to pole dance. The ‘Black Panther’ actress was inspired to try out the skill after visiting a ”fancy” New York strip club with a male friend, where she was amazed by the dancers’ skills. Nyongo says: ”It was incredible and sexy, and I thought, I need to learn how to do that.” Always one willing to try new things, she took a pole dancing class shortly thereafter.
(Word has it that her male friend was also amazed by the dancers’ skills…)

• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Michael Shannon, Alison Brie, Jaboukie Young-White & Jamaaladeen Tacuma
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Nick Jonas, Dennis Rodman
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Sarah Paulson, Judd Apatow, Mark Guiliana
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Dwayne Johnson, Jack Black, Tim Minchin
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Owen Wilson, Noah Gardenswartz
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Teresa Giudice, Michael Rapaport
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Joe Biden
• “The Talk” (CBS): Nick Cannon, guest co-host Paula Abdul
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Margot Robbie, Christina Hendricks, Lindsay Miller
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, Anna Camp, Brittany Snow, Mario Lopez, Sia
• “Golden Globes 75th Anniversary Special” (NBC): Eric McCormack and Debra Messing host this look at memorable moments from the Golden Globes, including red carpet highlights and fashion.
• “Riverdale” (CW): Mid-season finale. Chapter Twenty-Two: Silent Night, Deadly Night
• “My Christmas Dream” (HALLMARK): A woman wants a promotion to her company’s Paris location, so she makes promises to her boss about creative holiday displays. Struggling to make good on these promises, she seeks help from a recently fired single dad who has artistic talent.

• Lady GaGa – is releasing a line of wines. Her people filed documents for the rights to ‘Joanne Trattoria Vino Blanco’ and ‘Joanne Trattoria Vino Rossa’, named after Gaga’s late aunt. The two names are to be used for ”wine, prepared wine cocktails, wine coolers, wine punches and prepared alcoholic cocktails.’
• Ed Sheeran – has been ranked 2017’s top artist by Billboard.  Sheeran came in at #1 on the strength of his second No. 1 album, ÷ (Divide), and its multiple hit singles, including the No. 1 Billboard Hot 100 song of the year, “Shape of You.”  For the first time since 1984, all of Billboard’s 2017 year-end top 10 artists are men.
• Sheryl Crow – has released a tribute single to mark the fifth anniversary of the Sandy Hook Tragedy. She has teamed up with Sandy Hook Promise – a non-profit organization – to record ‘The Dreaming Kind’ in memory of the 20 students and six teachers who were killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newton, Connecticut, on December 14, 2012.
• Wham! – Andrew Ridgeley has opened up about the death George Michael, saying he “shed an ocean of tears” when he learned his close friend had passed away last year.  He says he had messaged Michael to wish him a wonderful Christmas five minutes prior to hearing about his death on Christmas Day last year.
• Prince – A judge has ruled that Spotify’s Troy Carter can move forward with a planned documentary on his life.  Although Carter works as an advisor to the estate’s representative, Comerica Bank, Prince’s heirs did not support the documentary.
• Simple Minds – will release ‘Walk Between Worlds’ on Feb. 2.  It will be their first album of new material since 2014.
• Jennifer Hudson – says it took four cranes four days to decorate her house for Christmas. She had a ‘lighting spectacular’ constructed on the grounds of her home last month.
• Sugarland – are among the first performers announced for ‘New Year’s Rockin’ Eve’ from New York’s Times Square.  Camila Cabello and Nick Jonas will also help ring in the New Year.  Ryan Seacrest will host.
• Maren Morris – made a powerful statement when she released ‘Dear Hate’ following the Vegas shootings on Oct. 1. But according to her: “I’ve had it for years and just never knew when to release it and then when the Vegas shooting happened … it just felt like the right time”.

What is the worst thing about taking an early morning shower in the cold months?  Right.  When it’s over. That freezing-cold mad rush to towel off before you break some teeth from clenching your jaw so tightly in the rush of freezing air that greets you when you turn off the hot water and open the curtain.  But the end of the shower might be what you look forward to if you take the advice of Former Navy SEAL Clint Emerson, author of ‘100 Deadly Skills: The SEAL Operative’s Guide to Eluding Pursuers, Evading Capture, and Surviving Any Dangerous Situation’.  He says you should end every shower with a blast of cold water.  Why?  A few reasons:  Cold water will wake you up, and it will keep you awake.  Plus it has health benefits.  It increases recovery. It constricts the entire body, squeezing out all of that lactic acid so that you can feel good to go the next day and be ready for the next day’s training.  It keeps your joints limber and inflammation down, and therefore helps to prevent injury.  So give it a try.  And when your teeth stop chattering, let me know how it feels!
(Thanks. I was looking for a way to make my early morning routine a little more hellish!)
(I thought his advice was going to be to read his book in the shower..but with a title like that, you’d never fit the cover into the shower stall!)
(And that, my friend, it why they call them ‘SEALS’.)

New terms entering the lingo …
• ‘Manel’ – A panel or similar public discussion group that consists only of men. (Known informally as a ‘sausage party’.)
• ‘Canicross’ – A form of cross-country running in which a human runner is pulled by a dog wearing a special harness. (So…dog-sledding without the sled?)
• ‘Cord-never’ – A person who has never subscribed to a cable television package. (Makes being a ‘cord-cutter’ seem so passé…)

• Last weekend’s ‘Most epic snow day ever’ was planned at New Jersey’s Six Flags theme park.  The “Six Flags Great Adventure” planned to host the ‘World’s largest snowball fight’ and they were hoping to set a world record.  Unfortunately, the event had to be cancelled.  Because of snow.  (For the sake of accuracy, the event was planned for 9 parks across the country, and fake plush snowballs were to be used…)
• An Avondale, Ohio woman tried to take care of her bedbug problem with alcohol.  Near an open flame.  You can guess what happened next.  She and nine others are now without a home.  Damage: $250,000.  (The bedbugs are presumed dead)
• A study published in the Annals of Microbiology says that of 60 ice samples taken from homes, bars, restaurants and industrial sites, 52 were contaminated with bacteria strains.  The worst offenders?  Bars and Restaurants. (I’m guessing that we can’t kill them by freezing them?)

➢ Pizza Scissors:  Not only properly divides a poorly-cut pizza, but its shape also works as a server.  $20 (What sorcery is this…and where has it been all my life?)
➢ Batter Dispenser:  Mixing and dispensing pancake batter in the same container makes for easier clean-up.  Measuring marks on the container make for precision in pouring your pancakes. $25 (Can we just add syrup and drink it straight?)
➢ Fabric Defuzzer:  To get those ugly ‘pills’ off of your sweaters.  This works better than some others by shaving off pills and fuzz to give your clothing that ‘fresh off the rack’ look. $15 (So much for my ‘ugly Christmas sweater’!)
➢ Butter Me Up:  This butter knife doesn’t melt butter, but its serrated edge and ‘shredding slots’ allow you to scrape a reasonable amount of butter from a chilled stick…and not rip your bread or bun to shreds. $10 (Challenge accepted.)
➢ Avocado Slicer:  The ‘fan-blade’ cuts the avocado into Instagram-ready strips. $12  (How am I going to puncture my hand now?)


1925 [92] Dick Van Dyke, West Plains MO, TV actor (“The Dick Van Dyke Show” 1961-1966; /movie actor “Mary Poppins”, “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang”)

1929 [88] Christopher Plummer, Toronto, ON, TV, stage and movie actor (“The Sound of Music”), oldest actor to win an Oscar (“Beginners”).  In November, he was cast to re-shoot and replace Kevin Spacey’s role in the already-completed “All the Money in the World” amid sexual harassment and sexual assault allegations made towards Spacey.

1948 [69] Ted Nugent, Redford MI, rock singer (‘Cat Scratch Fever’, ‘Stranglehold’)

1957 [60] Steve Buscemi, Brooklyn NY, TV actor (“Boardwalk Empire” 2010-15, “The Sopranos” 2004-05)/movie actor (“Reservoir Dogs”, “Fargo”) COMING UP…Nancy, 2018

1967 [50] Jamie Foxx, Terrell TX, movie actor (“Django Unchained”, “Ray”)/R&B singer (f/T-Pain-‘Blame It’, f/Ludacris-‘Unpredictable’) COMING UP…Robin Hood, 2018

1975 [42] Tom DeLonge, Poway CA, rock singer (Blink 182-‘All the Small Things’, ‘I Miss You’, Angels & Airwaves-‘Everything’s Magic’)

1981 [36] Amy Lee, Riverside CA, rock singer (Evanescence-‘Call Me When You’re Sober’, ‘Bring Me To Life’)

1989 [28] Taylor Swift, Reading PA, pop singer (‘Bad Blood’, ‘Shake It Off’) In 2017, her sixth album, ‘Reputation’, sold over a million copies in four days.

• “Geminid Meteor Shower”, this annual event peaks tonight and into tomorrow morning.  As Earth crosses the debris field of asteroid 3200 Phaethon, we will enjoy a predicted rate of 120 meteors seen per hour.  Tiny particles will enter our atmosphere at 35km/second, producing long, slow and very bright streaks vaporizing about 80 km high.  Some consider this the best meteor shower of the year.

• “Hot Cocoa Day”, because there’s nothing like a steaming mug of the stuff on a bitter cold December day. (Ouch! Burned my freaking tongue!)

• “Violin Day” , so pick up your Stradivarius and let’s make some sweet music together.

• “St Lucy’s Day”, honoring her 304 AD birth.  Legend has it that, in order to follow a life of religious devotion, she cut out her eyes and sent them on a plate to a persistent lover who was haunted by them (especially afterward!). Today, hotels in Sweden feature their own ‘Lucia’, a young blond girl in white gown who serves guests coffee & ‘lussekatter’ (saffron buns).

• “National Day of the Horse”,  encourages people to be mindful of the contribution of horses to history, the economy and to the character of the places they inhabit.

[Thurs] Monkey Day
[Thurs] Roast Chestnuts Day
[Fri] International Tea Day
[Fri] National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day

2004 [13] It’s announced that Dick Clark is forced to bow out from hosting his annual ABC-TV event, “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” due to complications from a recent stroke (he dies in April 2012)

2016 [01] Alan Thicke suffers a heart attack while playing hockey and dies shortly after at age 69

2012 [05] Police bust a bizarre murder plot by a team of 3 hitmen in Albuquerque NM targeting Justin Bieber

2012 [05] A collection of 1969 love letters from Mick Jagger to American singer Marsha Hunt sell at auction for £187,000-plus, about $237,000 (Hunt is believed to be the inspiration for the hit “Brown Sugar”)

2012 [05] Legendary singer-songwriter Carole King (‘It’s Too Late’) is awarded the Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song in recognition of her lifetime achievement, the 1st woman to be awarded the honor

2013 [04] Beyonce’s self-titled album is released with no advance notice, sending radio stations scrambling to get its songs on-air (the album sells over 600,000 digital copies in 3 days)

2010 [07] In China, a 2,400 year-old pot of soup is discovered near the ancient capital of Xi’an


✓ The sun is white, not yellow.
✓ White has been the most common car color since 2006.
✓ Studies have found that videogames are more effective at battling depression than therapy.
✓ Lying children tend to grow up to be more successful.
✓ The higher a woman’s heels are, the more power she has over men, according to a study.
✓ Mountain Dew is testing out a Doritos-flavored soda, called “Dewitos.”

• “I love me too.  We have so much in common.”
• “That’s just because you haven’t gotten to know me yet.”
• “Have we met?”
• “Pull my finger.”
• “I’m still not sleeping with you.”
• “Thank you.”
• “And Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii will always love youuuuuuuuuuuu.”
• “It’ll pass.”
• “For the third time, license and registration, please.”
• “New phone.  Who ‘dis?”
• “Who doesn’t?”
• “Get away from my window!”
• “It’s another $50, if you want me to say it back.”


Once I farted in an elevator.  It was wrong on so many levels.

☎ What did you really want for Christmas when you were a kid but never got?

Question:  According to a new survey, over the years, people estimated that they’ve gotten an average of $954 worth of these. What are they?
Answer:  Bad Christmas gifts

May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.

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