Thursday, December 14, 2017 – Edition: #6119

The Sheet Hits the Fans!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★  Harry Styles saved the Tuesday episode of ‘The Late Late Show with James Corden’ at the very last minute, when Cordon’s wife Julia went into labour. Styles, of One Direction fame, stepped in with just a couple of hours’ notice – so that James could be there for the birth of his daughter. That night, cordon Tweeted: “Today we welcomed a beautiful baby daughter into the world. Both she and her mother are doing great. We can’t stop smiling. Thank you Harry for stepping in to host the show at 2 and a half hours notice!
-DigitalSpy, Twitter
★ James Corden secretly had all his “Carpool Karaoke” guests this year sing a rendition of ‘Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town’, and he has just unwrapped an amazing compilation of them all!  The YouTube video starts with Corden and Reggie Watts, and includes Katy Perry, Bruno Mars, Miley Cyrus, Pink, Ed Sheeran, Usher and Kelly Clarkson with their takes on the holiday classic.  Oh, and Harry Styles and Corden share a passionate kiss … without any mistletoe.
-TheBlast
★ Chris Martin and Dakota Johnson are dating. The Coldplay frontman was spotted with the ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ actress at a concert in Israel last month and they are now said to be an item. Martin was previously married to Oscar winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow – with whom he has a 13-year-old daughter Apple and 11-year-old son Moses.
-ContactMusic
★ Russell Brand’s wife has ”banned” him from joking about her pregnancy in his stand-up shows. Brand and Laura Gallacher have a 13-month-old daughter named Mabel, and he says that he carries out ”rigorous joke-checks” with his partner, and that’s the one subject she was quick to put a block on.
(Happy wife…happy life!)
-ContactMusic
★ Former Dragons’ Den star Robert Herjavec and wife Kym Johnson Herjavec – who he met on ‘Dancing with the Stars’ – are pregnant. She confirmed the news in an Instagram post on Monday with an ultrasound snap showing her unborn child giving a thumbs up. The baby will be the first child for Kym who is 41.  Robert is already a dad to three children from a previous marriage.
-Canoe
★ Rather than give up on “Today” in the wake of Matt Lauer’s departure, viewers are flocking to it.  For the second consecutive week, the first two hours of the NBC morning program surged ahead of the show’s main rival, “Good Morning America”.   “Today” captured an average of nearly 4.58 million viewers for the week ending Dec. 8, according to Neilson.
(THAT’s gotta bug Matt!)
-PageSix

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Will Smith, Pharrell Williams, N.E.R.D.
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kevin Hart, Hailee Steinfeld
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Adam Driver, John Early
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Laura Dern, Fergie, Mark Guiliana
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Hugh Jackman, John Cena
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Jack Black, Kate Hudson
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Gwendoline Christie, Christian Siriano
• “The Talk” (CBS): Ed Helms, guest co-host Brooke Shields
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Laura Dern, Diane Kruger, Chris Byrne
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Will Smith, Queens of the Stone Age
• “Olaf’s Frozen Adventure” (ABC): Olaf sets out on a merry mission to bring home the best holiday traditions and save Christmas.
• “Disney Prep and Landing” (ABC): An elite unit of elves ensures homes are prepared for Santa Claus.
• “Showtime at the Apollo: Christmas” (FOX): The nation’s top musical acts perform Christmas songs, including Snoop Dogg and Boyz II Men; Fifth Harmony; and DMX. Steve Harvey and Adrienne Houghton host.
• “iHeartRadio Jingle Ball 2017” (CW): A holiday music event that celebrates the season with performances by Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, the Chainsmokers, Fifth Harmony, Liam Payne, Camila Cabello and Niall Horan.
• “Deck the Halls” (AMC): Neighbors in a New England town declare war over a preponderance of Christmas lights.
• “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” (CMT): Portrait of World War II on the home front, specifically Rockport, Mass.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• 50 Cent – accidentally damaged a mixer when he fell on it during a show in Miami.  Despite the fact that he offered to cover the $1,000 in damages, the club wouldn’t accept it, and even invited him to do the exact same thing again sometime. (50 Cent is worth every penny!)
• Beyoncé – has issued a cease-and-desist letter to a brewery for naming a beer “Biëryoncé”.  The brewery owner says:  “We’re disappointed she didn’t take it as a compliment, but oh well. It was fun while it lasted!” (And try our latest: “Sasha Beerce!”)
• Macklemore & Kesha – will launch the nine-week, 30-city tour June 6 in Phoenix, AZ.  $1 from every ticket sold will be donated to charity.  Kesha will donate her proceeds to RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network), while Macklemore will donate his proceeds to M Plus1, an organization that advances racial and social justice.
• “Cash Me Ousside Girl” – Danielle Bregoli Peskowitz, who became famous for saying the words “Cash Me Ousside” on Dr. Phil, has launched a rap career under the persona Bhad Bhabie.  Her newest single, ‘Mama Don’t Worry (Still Ain’t Dirty)’, is out now. (Blame the internet for this…)
• Tina Turner – has survived a life-threatening illness.  No details until her book comes out next year.  She is working on her second autobiography, ‘Tina Turner: My Love Story’.  It is scheduled for an October 2018 release.
• The Go-Go’s – ‘Head Over Heels’, a musical based on their music, will to make its pre-Broadway premiere in San Francisco in the Spring. It’s described as “a tantalizing odyssey wrought with mistaken identities, jealous lovers, romance and scandal, and where everything (and everyone) is not quite what it seems”.
• Whitesnake – are currently recording their 13th studio album, ‘Flesh and Blood’.  A 2018 release is expected.
• Alice in Chains – have announced dates for a spring 2018 tour of North America. Set to open in Boston, MA on April 28, the 3-week, 12-show run mixes headline events with festival appearances, including Charlotte’s Carolina Rebellion, Wisconsin’s Northern Invasion and Ohio’s Rock On The Range.
• Kacey Musgraves – her new album ‘Golden Hour’, will drop in the first half of next year.  Her inspirations for this album include the Bee Gees and Neil Young. She describes it as “trippy”.
• Keith Urban – he and wife Nicole Kidman are set to continue their annual Christmas tradition of spending the holidays Down Under.  Kidman says that both of their mothers are still in Australia, plus they “Love the beach and shrimp.”

FLU…IN YOUR FACE!
Women are always saying that men seem to suffer more when they get the flu.  Or more accurately, they say that men turn into whiny little babies when the slightest sniffle comes on.  But now, there seems to be a scientific explanation why.  A Canadian researcher went through medical studies going back to the 17th century to find that ‘man-flu’ is indeed more intense that the female version.  Dr. Kyle Sue found that flu symptoms in men are often more acute, including the fact that men seem to have higher rates of flu-related death than women.  His conclusion?  “Men may not be exaggerating symptoms but have weaker immune responses to viral respiratory viruses, leading to greater…mortality than seen in women.”
(Higher death rates?  You mean it doesn’t just FEEL like we’re gonna die?)
(Of course men are going to feel it worse…Women give birth!)
(So for all those ladies who make fun of us when we’re down for the count, feel free to eat your words…while I eat some chicken soup!)
-AP, TheStar

MILK’S FAVORITE COOKIE…UNTIL NOW:
Original Oreos have been a classic snack forever.  But they keep intrudicing new flavors…for better or worse.  The latest flavors to enter their ever-expanding portfolio (which has included limited-edition offerings like Fireworks and Hot Cocoa) are the result of a recent fan call-to-action, where people were asked to choose the next Oreo cookie flavor.  The cookie brand’s latest releases are all about introducing some pretty weirdo mashup combinations.  Behold the new creations: ‘Cherry Cola Oreos’, ‘Kettle Corn Oreos’, and ‘Pina Colada Oreo Thins’.  The company says it received hundreds of thousands of flavor submissions from Oreo fans.  The three new flavors will hit shelves in the U.S. in May,  at which point fans will have the opportunity to taste them and decide which of the three will ultimately stick around.
(I know one thing.  There’s no way I’m dipping something called ‘Pina Colada’ in my milk!)
(And I thought I was mad when they came up with ‘Mint’ Oreos….)
(I hope they sell ‘doublestuffed’ Cherry Cola Oreos.  So I can hate them twice as much!)
-Oreo, Today

IT’S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS:
The worst Christmas gifts that you can give…
✖ Crazes: Any kind of fads, trends, or crazes make bad gifts.  Can we agree on that?  (Can I get a refund on this Pet Rock?)
✖ High-maintenance gifts:  Nobody wants a gift that makes them DO stuff.  Whether it involves regularly buying accessories, or (God forbid) requires a lot of cleaning, people just don’t want to be ‘voluntold’ that they have some new obligations.
✖ Upsetting gifts:  Don’t start a funeral plan for someone or buy them a carpet shampooer.   Death and hard work are un-Christmassy and upsetting.  (Probably stay away from gym equipment, too!)
✖ Bulking Up:  You aren’t confident that the gift you bought is good enough or expensive enough, so you ‘bulk it up’ with a bunch of other smaller things.  Expensive, and a bad habit to get into.  Bulker-uppers are never a good idea.  (Too many things to wrap, too…)
✖ The formula or repeat:  You know that the person you are shopping for has that one certain hobby….horses, Star Wars, whatever.  So you buy them something related to that year after year.  After year after year.  The problem is that others fixate on this hobby when buying gifts for that person as well.  (How many times can someone receive a copy of the movie ‘Black Beauty’ without eventually snapping?) (Except for Uncle Jerry.  He has NO problem receiving a bottle of Wild Turkey year in and year out…)
✖ Vouchers: Vouchers or gift cards are just not Christmassy and give no joy.   As gifts, some feel that they seem lazy and dull.  (Hey, hey!  That’s pretty much all I give…or receive, come to think of it!)
(Wow.  All this and it looks like socks are still an OK gift!)
-NYPOST

BS CHRONOMETER 12.14.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [68] Cliff Williams, Romford UK, now-retired rock bassist (AC/DC-‘Thunderstruck’, ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2003)

1984 [33] Jackson Rathbone, Singapore, movie actor (“Twilight” franchise)

1988 [29] Vanessa Hudgens, Salinas CA, movie actress (“High School Musical” movies, “Thirteen”) COMING UP…Dog Days, 2018

1992 [25] Tori Kelly, Wildomar CA, singer-songwriter (‘Should’ve Been Us’, ‘Nobody Love’)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bouillabaisse Day”, a day to throw some shellfish in a pot with some finely-chopped onion, celery, and tomato; a little white wine, a little more white wine; and a whole mess of garlic. Nummers, instant heaven!

• “International Monkey Day”, to raise awareness about monkey issues, monkeys in the news, and ways you can help monkeys (apes and other primates included).

• “Roast Chestnuts Day”, a day when we’re encouraged to actually do what we all sing about at this time of year: “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…”. They go great with a cup of hot chocolate!

• “Halcyon Days” begin, the 7 days before and 7 days after the Winter Solstice.  According to ancient tradition, it’s a time of peace and tranquillity. (That’s because they didn’t have malls).

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Cat Herders Day
[Fri] Free Shipping Day
[Sat] National Chocolate Covered Anything Day
[Sat] Stupid Toy Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1977 [40] At the peak of the disco era, the film ‘Saturday Night Fever’ opens in theaters. The soundtrack contains the #1 hits ‘Stayin’ Alive’ and ‘Night Fever’, among others

2005 [12] Peter Jackson’s “King Kong” remake, starring Naomi Watts, Adrien Brody, and Jack Black, opens in movie theaters

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1978 [39]  Billy Joel plays Madison Square Garden for the first time, which he considered a “temple” while growing up.  He later became the first musical act to hold residency there.

2004 [13] The funeral for guitarist Dimebag Darrell (Damageplan, Pantera) takes place in Arlington TX with Eddie Van Halen placing Darrell’s original black & yellow-striped guitar into the KISS Kasket he’s buried in (Darrell had been shot 5 times in the back of the head by a mentally ill former US Marine)

2012 [05] Stalker Jacob Nicholas Kulke is arrested outside a residence belonging to Taylor Swift and charged with trespassing (he claims he’s been in touch with her via social media and is planning to surprise her for her birthday)

CATCH OF THE DAY:
2003 [14] US President George W. Bush announces the capture of Iraqi President Saddam Hussein.

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2004 [13] The Millau Viaduct, ‘Tallest Bridge in the World’ (343 m or 1,125 ft) is inaugurated near Millau, France

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ The hotter the water, the faster it freezes.
✓ To provide for ideal moisture content, a snowman is best attempted when snow is around 30°F.
✓ Laboring for an hour to build a snowman burns approximately 238 calories.
✓ Before the Post Office started accepting Santa letters, kids yelled their Christmas wishes up the chimney or tied their notes to balloons.
✓ Freezer burn happens when water molecules escape from your frozen food and oxygen molecules seep in.
✓ The patent for toilet paper filed in 1891 features an illustration showing the paper hanging OVER the roll, not under.
-UberFacts

BS HOLIDAY CARDS FOR THE SARCASTIC:
• “Merry who cares … and when does it end?”
• “No Christmas gifts for anyone who has sent a Candy Crush request.”
• “Good friends, cosy fire, delicious treats, heartburn, bankruptcy, extreme bursts of anger.”
• “I hope you enjoy this present more than I did when I received it.”
• “What the hell is a sugar plum anyway?”
• “For you from Satan. Whoops! Auto-correct was off. That should be Santa …”
• “Yum, egg nog! … said no one ever.”
• “I hope your holiday breakdown is filled with joy.”
• “Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house … everyone was on their phone.”
• “Fa la la la frickin’ la.”
– Adapted from BuzzFeed.com

BS WHAT I GOT AT THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY:
• Super gassy from Margaret’s 3-bean salad
• Served…a restraining order
• The party started
• The ‘come hither’ look from Norman in accounting
• Annoyed.  I already spend all day with these people
• Some great pictures for the company newsletter
• Snacks for later and got the hell out of there!
• Fired for making it more like XXXmas
• My Stapler back
• Drunk

-Twitter

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The 3 stages of life:
1. You believe in Santa Claus.
2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3. You are Santa Claus.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Which fictional couple are you and your partner most like?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: People spend more on this in December than any other month of the year.
Answer: Clothes

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You don’t need a certain number of friends.  Just a number of friends you can be certain of.


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