Wednesday, December 15, 2010       Edition: #4408
Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!

The “Golden Globe” nominations were announced Tuesday and “The King’s Speech” is leading movie nominations with 7, while “Glee” (FOX) is in the lead on the TV front with 5 (the hardware’s handed out January 16th) . . . Tiger Woods’ 30-year-old ex Elin Nordegren has reportedly cozied up with a fellow student from her psychology class at Rollins College in Winter Park FL, a 35-year-old from South Africa (nice to see she’s scoring too) . . . Nobody’s asked, but Justin Timberlake says he would ‘absolutely’ consider being a regular on NBC-TV’s “Saturday Night Live” (music career drying up; movie career tepid) . . . NBC-TV appears to be pouncing on potentially vulnerable “American Idol” (FOX) by launching a competing singing competition next Spring, the Mark Burnett-produced “Voice of America”, in which contestants perform with their backs turned so they’re only judged on their voices (won’t that make for interesting viewing?) . . . Former BFF Paris Hilton wasn’t even invited to Nicole Richie’s weekend wedding, but inside sources say she ‘isn’t dwelling on it too much’ (unlike the gossip rags) . . . Sometime actor David Arquette (“Scream” films) is developing a game show that would reunite former TV castmates (finally he’s found a hobby besides calling radio shows to diss estranged wife Courteney Cox) . . . 24-year-old “Gossip Girl” star Leighton Meester says the CW series will likely wrap after 2 more years (some might argue it’s already a year past its expiry date) . . . And pontificating 58-year-old movie actor Dan Aykroyd contends that from now on he’ll only work with A-listers, telling AP: “Otherwise, I won’t work as an actor” (his latest effort is “Yogi Bear” [opening Friday], co-starring Justin Timberlake as ‘Boo Boo’).

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros (“Up From Below”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Ciara (“Basic Instinct”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Burton Cummings (formerly of Guess Who).
• “Hell’s Kitchen” (FOX) – The final 2 contestants create a 5-course meal; the winner is chosen.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Temper Trap (“Conditions”).
• “Larry King Live” (CNN) – In his last interview show before retiring he’s on location from Barbara Streisand’s Malibu CA home for the entire hour. Tomorrow night he’s saluted with surprises on his final program.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Interpol (“Interpol”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Annie Lennox (“A Christmas Cornucopia”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Ronnie Spector does her annual rendition of “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – “America’s Got Talent” child prodigy Jackie Evancho (“O Holy Night”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – The Band Perry (“The Band Perry”).

• Jason Aldean – He’s been named top ‘Male Country Artist’ and ‘Independent Artist Of the Year’ by “Billboard” magazine.
• John Lennon – Today his lyrics to The Beatles’ song “I’m Only Sleeping”, handwritten on the back of a letter demanding payment for a bill, go up for auction in the UK and are expected to fetch circa $500,000.
• Justin Bieber – Taio Cruz has reportedly been recruited to write music for his next record. It seems they’ve finally run out of ways to recycle “My World”.
• Katy Perry – She’s tweeted fans asking them to choose her next single, after the last 3 releases from “Teenage Dream” topped the charts.
• Keith Urban – This evening he busks for free outside Sydney, Australia’s Pitt St Mall. He’s been doing many of these ‘guerilla gigs’ in recent weeks, popping up at shopping malls and train stations armed with an acoustic guitar and an admittedly ‘cheesy drum machine’.
• Michael Jackson – Butler Amusements has obtained 6 of the fairground rides he had installed on his Neverland ranch. One has been permanently moved to the California State Fair & Exposition in Sacramento but the other5 are available for rent … at up to $8,500 a day.
• Miley Cyrus – TMZ reports sales of the legal hallucinogenic ‘salvia’ have jumped since her recent viral bong video hit the web, as many consumers are asking LA-area head shops for ‘the stuff Miley was smoking’.

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘BIY’ – A short-form for ‘buy-it-yourself’ that refers to purchasing materials required for a repair or renovation that you’ve hired a professional to perform. (“I’ll do the painting for $500, but only if the paint is BIY.”)
• ‘Green Gifting’ – Re-using gift wrap, re-gifting presents you don’t need, handing down products that are still in good condition, making something with your own hands, etc. (Also known as ‘being a cheapskate’.)
• ‘Smud’ – Brown or muddy snow caused by vehicle & pedestrian traffic and/or warmer weather. (You never see smud on a Christmas card, just virginal soft and fluffies.)

Good manners have paid dividends for a man in the Philippines who won 741 million pesos ($17 million) in the national lottery. It seems the 60-something father of 3 was next in a line-up to buy a ticket when a woman rudely pushed in front of him. But he graciously let her go ahead, and in turn ended up buying the winning ticket. Nobody had won the lottery since May 15th so the prize money accumulated over 86 consecutive draws to become the country’s largest-ever jackpot. (Take that, lady!)

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 93% of employees say they’d happily forego an office Christmas party in return for more money.
• 36% of couples will watch a chick-flick on Christmas Day.
• 21% of women say they have their own toolbox.
• 20% of people in a rebound relationship choose someone who is 180 degrees opposite.
• 17% of women plan to buy a new outfit for a holiday party, leave the tag on, then return it.
• 16% of Christmas gifts purchased by men are returned, compared to 10% of gifts purchased by women.

People who regularly eat candy live longer than people who don’t. A multi-decade study from the Harvard School of Public Health shows that modest candy consumption (1-to-3 times a month) is associated with the greatest benefit, but even those with a daily habit live longer than those who never indulge. This benefit can not be explained by other factors such as age, smoking, exercise, alcohol consumption, or weight. (Note: ‘modest candy consumption’ does not involve 1-to-3 lbs.)

According to a new poll, these are the factors that freak us most during the holiday season …
1. Crowded malls.
2. Excess traffic.
3. Financial pressure.
4. Difficult to buy for people.
5. Gaining weight.

What dream do we have most frequently? Recent research shows that over half of study participants report having a regular dream involving a teacher-pupil relationship. Many also repeatedly dream of ‘searching for a certain place’ and ‘falling’. ‘Eating delicious foods’ is the 5th-most-dreamed theme, higher ranked than ‘flying’ or ‘being chased’. And one half of participants say they’ve dreamed of having a love affair with a celebrity. (Well okay … but Drew Carey?)
– “Discovery News”

A rare pink diamond as big as your eyeball has sold for a record-breaking $46 million, the highest price ever paid for a jewel. The 24.78-carat ‘fancy intense pink’ was sold to a British dealer at an auction in Geneva, Switzerland. Bidding at the Sotheby’s auction was said to be fierce, and the sale surpassed expectations.
– BBC News

• In Manhattan, a plumber who makes emergency calls won’t lift the toilet lid for less than $250; a monthly parking space goes for $550; a magician for a children’s party asks $650 an hour; a nanny gets $600 a week; and a dog walker costs $10,000 a year.
– “Los Angeles Times”
• The smell of pumpkin pie may be the aroma that turns men on the most. Studies show that the scents of pumpkin pie and lavender especially enhance blood flow ‘down there’.
– Smell & Taste Treatment & Research Foundation


1949 [61] Don Johnson, Flat Creek MO, former TV actor (“Nash Bridges” 1996-2001, “Miami Vice” 1984-89)/movie actor (“Tin Cup”)/married & divorced actress Melanie Griffith … twice

1955 [55] Paul Simonon, Brixton UK, classic rock musician (The Clash-“Rock the Casbah”, “Should I Stay or Should I Go”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2003)

1969 [41] Chantal Petitclerc, Saint-Marc-des-Carrières QC, wheelchair racer (14 Gold, 5 Silver, 2 Bronze medals in Paralympic Games 1996-2008)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2009)/Companion Of the Order of Canada (2009)

1979 [31] Adam Brody, San Diego CA, movie actor (“Thank You for Smoking”, “The Ring”)/TV actor (“The OC” 2003-07)  COMING UP: “Scream 4” (2011).

1980 [30] Sergio Pizzorno, Newton Abbot UK, alt-rock guitarist (Kasabian-“Fire”, “Empire”)

• “Ashura” begins at sundown, the 10th day of Muharram on the Islamic calendar that’s commemorated by Shia Muslims as a day of mourning for the martyrdom of Husayn ibn Ali, grandson of the prophet Muhammad. In some Shia countries and regions (Afghanistan, Bahrain, Iran, Iraq, Lebanon, Pakistan) it’s a national holiday and most ethnic and religious communities participate in it.

• “Bill of Rights Day”, celebrating the anniversary of the signing of the US Bill of Rights (1791) and its incorporation into the US Constitution.

• “Firefighters Day”, honoring those who risk their lives to save people from infernos … then take their shirts off to pose for calendars.

• “Zamenhof Day”, the beginning of “International Language Week” celebrated by the International Esperanto League. The international language ‘Esperanto’ was invented by Dr LL Zamenhof in 1887 to solve the world’s language barrier, but never really caught on. Get some useful phrases in ‘Esperantese’ here …

1939 [71] World premiere of “Gone With the Wind”, in Atlanta GA (later wins 10 Oscars)

1979 [31] Canadians Chris Haney & Scott Abbott create the phenomenally successful board game “Trivial Pursuit”

1956 [54] The phrase ‘Elvis has left the building’ is first uttered by radio host Horace Logan in Shreveport LA on his show “Louisiana Hayride”

1990 [20] Rod Stewart marries model Rachel Hunter in Beverly Hills CA (whoa, did that prove expensive!)

1854 [156] 1st ‘Mechanical Street Cleaning Machine’ (the kind that wakes you up at 3 am)

1952 [58] 1st person to have a ‘Sex-Change Operation’ (voluntarily, that is) as American George Jorgenson is pruned into Christine Jorgenson in Denmark (do they preserve it in a jar or what?)

1964 [46] Canada adopts the Maple Leaf Flag

1950 [60] A 221-ft (67-m) Douglas fir, the ‘Tallest Cut Christmas Tree On Record’, is hoisted at the Northgate Shopping Center in Seattle WA

1984 [26] A 250-lb cyst (113 kg) is removed from a 600-lb (272 kg) Pennsylvania woman (ow!)

[Thurs] Chocolate-Covered Anything Day
[Thurs] Underdog Day
[Thurs] Stupid Toy Day
[Thurs] Eat What You Want Day
[Fri] Clean Air Day
[Sat] Bake Cookies Day
[Sun] I’ve Got My Big Fat Guy Pants On Day
This Week Is … Gluten-Free Baking Week
This Month Is … Bingo’s Birthday Month


• You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
• You hear a duck quacking … and it’s you.
• Someone uses your tongue for a coaster.
• You refill your glass … from the fish bowl.
• You complain about the small bathroom … after emerging from the closet.
• You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier.
• You tell everyone you have to go home … and the party’s at your place.
• You ask for another ice cube … and put it in your pocket.
• You realize you’re the only one under the coffee table.
• You hear someone yell, “Quick, call a priest!”

I get mail, therefore I am.

Which happens to the average couple after 10 years in a happy marriage?
a. They start walking alike.
b. They start talking alike.
c. They develop similar wrinkles. [CORRECT. Shared diet, exercise, and sleeping habits develop similar skin tones, expressions, and wrinkles. They start walking and talking alike after only 4-to-7 years.]
– “Ten Laws of Lasting Love” by Paul Pearsall

You run down the list while a crew member/guest ranks each item as simply ‘good’ or ‘bad’ …
• Pre-decorated artificial Christmas trees.
• Watching TV on your laptop.
• ‘Secret Santa’ gift exchanges at work.
• Movie remakes.
• Rockers who refuse to retire after age 65.
• Online Christmas shopping.
• Ultimate Fighting Championship.
• Hanging up mistletoe.
• Office holiday parties.
• People who whistle in public.

Today’s Question: The average Canadian or American will complete 28 of THESE this year, while the average Brit will manage to do 46.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Christmas cards.

Laugh at your mistakes, everyone else does.

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