Thursday, December 17, 2015        Edition: #5595

Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

★ Following the birth of her son Saint West, Kim Kardashian West has decided to eat her placenta in a bid to prevent postpartum depression. Kim began researching the benefits of having placenta freeze-dried and made into pill form before giving birth to her & Kanye’s 2nd child earlier this month, and became intrigued by stories from other mothers. According to the 35-year-old, who struggled throughout her 2nd pregnancy, she’s bouncing back from this baby faster than she did after birthing daughter North … and she’s crediting the placenta pills.
★ “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” has opened in some countries as of yesterday but doesn’t open in China until January 9th. So the possibility of spoilers appearing online has become very real. For a dedicated “Star Wars” fan, the entire Internet suddenly seems booby-trapped with potentially ruinous information. A new Google Chrome extension is here to help. ‘Force Block’ promises to analyze web pages and block any that contain plot spoilers for the movie. After a page is blocked a pop-up message delivers a classic tongue-in-cheek “Star Wars” reference, ie: “We stopped one this time, but don’t get cocky, kid!”
★ And Jennifer Lawrence tells “Live With Kelly & Michael” that filmmaker David O Russell is developing a movie in which she’ll play … Robert De Niro’s mother. The 25-year-old actress has teamed with the veteran 72-year-old actor for “American Hustle”, “Silver Linings Playbook”, and new film “Joy” (opening December 25th), in which De Niro plays her father. Now Russell is apparently considering switching their roles in a new project. Lawrence has revealed no details about the film, but if it comes to fruition it would be her 4th project with the filmmaker.

• “American Country Countdown’s Top 10 Stories of 2015” (FOX) – Darius Rucker hosts a listing of country music’s most-talked-about topics over the year.
• “Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2015” (ABC) – The 86-year-old journalist interviews some of the year’s top newsmakers. Among them: Comedians Amy Schumer and Tracy Morgan; actor Bradley Cooper; ballerina Misty Copeland; presidential candidate Bernie Sanders; and fashion designer Donna Karan.
• “Canada’s Walk of Fame 2015 Gala” (Global) – Jason Priestley hosts a pre-taped special honoring this year’s inductees who include hockey broadcasters Don Cherry & Ron MacLean, singer Michael Bublé, and “The Book of Negroes” author Lawrence Hill.
• “iHeartRadio Jingle Ball” (CW) – Pre-recorded performances by The Weeknd, Calvin Harris, Selena Gomez, 5 Seconds of Summer, Demi Lovato, and Nick Jonas.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – R Kelly (“The Buffet”).
• “Kelly Clarkson’s Cautionary Christmas Music Tale” (NBC) – Kelly and special guests Blake Shelton, Reba McEntire, and Trisha Yearwood do a comedic take on a traditional holiday story.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Torres (“Sprinter”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Daya (“Daya”).
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Babyface (“Return Of the Tender Lover”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Bruce Springsteen (“The Ties That Bind: The River Collection”); Chris Stapleton (“Traveller”).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Monica (“Code Red”).

• Blake Shelton – He’s scored another #1 on the ‘Billboard Country Airplay’ chart with “Gonna”. It arrives at that hallowed point after a 21-week climb.
• Chris Stapleton – “Traveller has taken back top spot on the ‘Billboard Top Country Albums’ chart, switching spots with Carrie Underwood’s “Storyteller” which has fallen to 2nd.
• Josh Groban – He’s set to make his Broadway debut next year in a musical adaptation based on Leo Tolstoy’s epic novel “War & Peace”. The “You Raise Me Up” singer will play the wealthy ‘Pierre’ in the electro-pop opera “Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812”.
• Justin Bieber – He’s said to be moving on from his on-and-off relationship with Selena Gomez by hooking up with Kourtney Kardashian. It began as a rumor in “Us Weekly” and while it still hasn’t been confirmed by either party, it’s beginning to look like it could be true.
• Paramore – Bassist and original member Jeremy Davis has exited the band. A statement on the band’s Facebook page reads: “We’re hopeful for Paramore’s future and we’re also excited for what Jeremy’s going to do next.” Hmm, wonder who made the decision?
• REM – They’ve inked a multi-year, worldwide licensing agreement with Concord Bicycle Music for the band’s recordings from 1988 to 2011. Concord Bicycle plans to release deluxe reissues of the albums with bonus material and exclusive packaging.
• The Strokes – It looks like they’re back in the studio cooking up some new tunes. Over the weekend the group headlined Mexico’s “Live Out Monterrey Festival” and while in town they rented some studio space at Victoria Records.
• Thomas Rhett – “Die a Happy Man” again tops the new ‘Billboard Hot Country Songs’ chart for next week.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Chappaquiddick” – Director Sam Taylor-Johnson is swapping the erotic fiction of “Fifty Shades of Grey” for this political thriller about late US senator Ted Kennedy. The real-life political drama focuses on the 7 days after a fatal car accident that threw the senator’s career off-track in 1969. Casting is yet to be announced, but production is due to begin in Spring.
• “Divanation” – Actresses Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler, and Diane Keaton, who starred as members of “The First Wives Club” (1996), are re-teaming to star in this made-for-Netflix feature film. They’ll play the 3 members of a female singing group who reconnect after a volatile split 30 years prior. It will be Hawn’s first movie role since 2002’s “The Banger Sisters”.
• “Guardians Of the Galaxy, Vol 2” – Kurt Russell is being eyed to join Chris Pratt in the upcoming sequel, playing the father of Pratt’s ‘Peter Quill’, aka ‘Star-Lord’. The rest of the cast from the 2014 surprise hit is also returning, including Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, and voice stars Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel. The film’s due in 2017.
• “Overdrive” – This action movie starring Scott Eastwood (“Trouble With the Curve”) is due to begin shooting in Paris and Marseilles, France in January. Also in the cast: Freddie Thorp, who plays Eastwood’s reckless half-brother; and “Vikings” actress Gaia Weiss, who portrays a seductive thief who aids the brothers in outwitting rival gangsters in the south of France.
• “The Witch of Lime Street” – Based on David Jaher’s book of the same name about the intense rivalry between 1920s illusionist Harry Houdini’s and spirit medium Margery Crandon. The story centers on Houdini’s personal mission to debunk fake spiritualists as frauds and charlatans by revealing their tricks. There’s no casting news or timeline for production as yet.

Finally, a way to tell if you’re late for your daily ‘Sith’ teleconference. This month, Los Angeles-based watchmaker Devon has released its limited-edition “Star Wars” watch, based on Empire-centric designs like Darth Vader’s helmet and the Death Star’s control panels. According to the AV Club, only 500 of the watches were made, and they’re officially licensed by Lucasfilm. This “Star Wars” watch can be yours for the downright villainous price of – whoa! – $28,500. (You can time how long it takes before you’re sick of hearing about “Star Wars”.)

Ever wonder why your cat sleeps all day while you’re stuck with the measly 7 hours you can cram in between “Scandal” and your morning commute? As it turns out, you’re just way better at sleeping than your furry friend. New Duke University research suggests humans have evolved to become the most efficient sleepers in the primate family. After studying the sleep patterns of hundreds of mammals, researchers have found we sleep deeper than others, with 25% of our shut-eye coming as REM sleep, while some primates get as little as 5%. That’s likely the reason humans sleep less than most primates, some of which get as much as 17 hours a day. (Another study shows ancient humans may have slept even less than we do now.)
– “Medical News Today”

First Oxford Dictionaries went with an emoji as its Word Of the Year. Now Merriam-Webster has named its Word Of the Year, and it’s also not a word … it’s the suffix ‘ism’. That’s because words like socialism, fascism, racism, feminism, capitalism, and terrorism saw high traffic on the dictionary’s website in 2015. Searches for ‘fascism’ in particular spiked following Donald Trump’s proposal to ban Muslims from entering America. It’s a serious year, notes a Merriam-Webster rep, the reason so many of these are words about ideas and practices. (Please, can we have a silly year next year?)
– Sourced from AP

Poker players have been saying it for years … everyone has a ‘tell’. A tiny physical or verbal clue that reveals whether we’re lying or telling the truth. Recent University of Michigan research lists the most common signs that someone’s totally fibbing …
✓ Referring to oneself using 3rd-person pronouns.
✓ Gesturing with both hands.
✓ Strong eye contact.
✓ Using filler words.
✓ Head-nodding.
✓ Scowling.
– Condensed from “Washington Post”

Japan’s medical schools currently have more corpses than they know what to do with.
– “The Times”


1973 [42] Eddie Fisher, Colorado Springs CO, rock drummer (OneRepublic-“Counting Stars”, “Apologize”)

1974 [41] Giovanni Ribisi, LA CA, movie actor (“Selma”, “Avatar”)/TV actor (“Dads” 2013-14)

1974 [41] Sarah Paulson, Tampa FL, movie actress (“Carol”, “12 Years a Slave”)/TV actress (“American Horror Story” 2012-15)  COMING UP: “American Crime Story” (2016).

1975 [40] Milla Jovovich, Kiev, Ukraine, movie actress (“Resident Evil” films, “Zoolander” movies)

1978 [37] Neil Sanderson, Peterborough ON, rock drummer (Three Days Grace-“The High Road”, “Break”)

1982 [33] Ben Goldwasser, Mishawaka IN, indie rock singer (MGMT-“Kids”, “Electric Feel”)

1989 [26] Taylor York, Nashville TN, rock bassist (Paramore-“Ain’t It Fun”, “Still Into You”)

1990 [25] Graham Rogers, West Chester PA, TV actor (‘Caleb Haas’ on “Quantico” 2015)

• “Cookie Cutter Day”, an annual salute to the handy little devices that help us make yummy Christmas cookies in the shape of stars, Christmas trees, and Santas.

• “International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers”, the 12th annual when organizers ask sex workers and their customers around-the-world to gather at 5 pm local time to honor those who’ve been killed while on-the-job.

• “Maple Syrup Day”, the opportunity to enjoy and appreciate this delicious North American treat. Canada makes more than 80% of the world’s supply, most of it coming from the province of Québec. The state of Vermont is the biggest producer in the USA.

• “Re-Gifting Day”, an annual observance on the Thursday before Christmas week. Passing something onward that you’ve been given is becoming increasingly acceptable. Research shows that 40% of office party gifts, for instance, are re-gifted.

• “Saturnalia” began, the week-long festival in ancient Rome honoring Saturn the planter god, which initiated the lasting traditions of exchanging gifts, illuminating lights, and closing businesses. Early Christian church leaders scheduled “Christmas” at this time of year partly to counteract this extremely popular pagan celebration.

2003 [12] “Lord Of the Rings: The Return Of the King” opens in movie theaters (the final film of the trilogy eventually racks up $1.1 billion in worldwide box office … #12 all-time)

2014 [01] Sony Pictures cancels the release of the movie “The Interview” after hacking attacks thought to be ordered by the North Korean government (it’s eventually released on Netflix)

2004 [11] A guitar played by George Harrison while recording The Beatles’ “Revolver” album sells for just shy of $568,000 at a Christie’s auction in NYC

2010 [05] Activist Mohamed Bouazizi sets himself on fire, the catalyst for the Tunisian Revolution and the wider Arab Spring

2014 [01] USA and Cuba re-establish diplomatic relations after severing them 55 years earlier

2000 [15] San Francisco 49ers wide receiver Terrell Owens sets a new NFL record of 20 catches in a single game during a 17-0 victory over Chicago Bears

[Fri] International Migrants Day
[Fri] Underdog Day
[Sun] “Miss Universe Pageant” (FOX)
[Sun] Sangria Day
[Mon] Winter begins
This Week Is … Gluten-Free Baking Week
This Month Is … Bingo’s Birthday Month


Ask your contestant to guess which of the following terrible movie plots are real …
• “12 Men of Christmas” – A Manhattan publicist moves to Montana. To help the local search-and-rescue station raise funds, she tries to convince the male rescue workers to pose for a naked calendar and along the way discovers what really matters in life. [Real Movie]
• “Christmas Crash” – A couple on the brink of divorce crashes their private plane into the woods and are presumed dead. As they struggle to survive they discover what really matters in life. [Real Movie]
• “Holly’s Holiday” – Ad executive Holly walks by the same holiday window every day on her way to work, which features the perfect man(equin). When a fateful icicle knocks her out, the fake window man becomes the man of her dreams. [Real Movie]
• “The Candy Cane War” – A single mom’s homemade candy cane business is really taking off, but her success is threatened by a ruthless candy corporation that wants to squash her dream. [BS]
• “Elf On the Run” – Zippy the elf has lived his entire life at the North Pole and longs to see the world. But Zippy gets more than he bargained for when an accident in the toy factory that’s all his fault forces him to flee his home. [BS]
• “Snowglobe” – ‘Angela’ finds a mystical snowglobe that transports her into an idyllic Christmas Winter Wonderland … where she discovers what really matters in life. [Real Movie]
– Adapted from

☎ Would you pay a ‘pee fee’? Airlines have already instituted baggage fees in order to improve profits. Now some are said to be considering an in-flight bathroom fee, like Irish discount carrier Ryanair attempted (disastrously) in 2010.

Question: THIS happens to 7-out-of-10 dogs.
Answer: They get a Christmas gift.

An optimist laughs to forget. A pessimist forgets to laugh.

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