Tuesday, December 17, 2013        Edition: #5125


Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ The “Breaking Bad” spinoff series “Better Call Saul” is set to stream on Netflix in numerous countries after it’s telecast on AMC in the new year. The prequel series stars Bob Odenkirk as ‘Saul Goodman’, the unscrupulous lawyer who covered for ‘Walter White’ throughout the “Breaking Bad” series. Episodes will be available to Netflix subscribers in Canada, Europe, Latin America, and the US shortly after the TV series’ finalé. A new deal makes Netflix the exclusive subscription service for the show. (Wouldn’t it be better if they skipped the TV airing and just released it online?)
– HollywoodReporter.com
★ Pseudo-actress Lindsay Lohan is planning to write a tell-all memoir. She has reportedly received several publishing offers to write about her troubled life in a book, in which she will detail her acting career, arrests, use of drugs, and family problems. Word has it she’s already started on the venture with a series of journal entries she penned during her time in rehab. She’s also said to have met with publishing reps in NYC. Lohan already has a deal to lay bare her life in a new TV series for Oprah Winfrey’s OWN network which debuts in the new year. (What a way to make a living. Screw up your life … then sell it.)
– TMZ.com
★ Under a new deal, the next 3 movies in the sci-fi adventure series “Avatar” will be shot in New Zealand, where $413 million will be spent on live-action production and visual effects. The agreement comes after the government hiked film industry tax rebates to 25%. It includes at least one ‘red carpet’ premiere in the country and promotion of New Zealand as a tourist destination. (Not surprisingly, “Avatar” producer-director James Cameron now has a NZ farm as he’s likely to be spending a lot of time there.)
– Reuters.com
★ And Miley Cyrus’ older sister Brandi Cyrus has introduced a new YouTube channel that will feature videos of her family members doing something special (or at least stupid) each week. Apart from Brandi, the “Seriously Cyrus” channel will feature parents Billy Ray and Tish, youngest sister Noah, and brother Trace. Miley and another brother, Braison, have been briefly introduced but it’s unclear how much they will participate. (If Miley is the ‘talented one’ in the family, this has got to be really, really low-grade stuff.)
– AceShowbiz.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Ashanti (“BraveHeart”, due 2014).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – The Head & The Heart (“Let’s Be Still”). Rerun.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Icona Pop (“This Is … Icona Pop”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Poliça (“Shulamith”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Chrome Sparks (“Sparks EP”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Miley Cyrus (“Bangerz”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Alt-J (“An Awesome Wave”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Johnny Mathis (“A 50th Anniversary Christmas Celebration”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – On the 5th season finalé, performances by Celine Dion, Lady Gaga, Ne-Yo, and OneRepublic. OneRepublic frontman Ryan Tedder has written an original song for each of the 3 finalists (released on iTunes immediately afterward); then the winner is revealed.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – Her surprise, self-titled ‘visual’ album has already sold enough copies to rank #1 on the ‘Billboard 200’ and #5 on the UK album chart.
• Bruno Mars – He’s been named the “Billboard” ‘Artist Of the Year’ for 2013. He tops 8 of the magazine’s year-end charts, including ‘Hot 100 Artists’ and ‘Top Overall Artists’.
• Drake – He’s facing a lawsuit from a  Chicago IL concert promoter for breach of contract over a pair of shows in 2012. Status Entertainment claims he failed to refund the advance he received for a gig that was cancelled, then demanded a big raise to appear in a replacement concert. The promoter is seeking the return of $200,000, plus interest and court fees.
• George Canyon – The country music singer says he’s ‘devastated’ after his pilot and friend was killed in plane crash in Alberta shortly after dropping him off for a gig. The single-engine Cessna 210 had just taken off from the Lloydminster Airport when it skidded into a house.
• Justin Timberlake – “The 20/20 Experience” is the top-selling album of the past year. He’s the first solo male artist to pull off that feat since 50 Cent with 2005’s “The Massacre”.
• Kanye West – Actor Will Ferrell has revealed that Kanye was a nuisance on the set of “Anchorman 2” while shooting a brief cameo, playing his own songs at full volume then declining to leave after his scene was wrapped. The film opens Friday.
• Rihanna – She has reportedly converted 3-of-the-4 bedrooms in her new NYC apartment into walk-in closets. The pop star’s pad additionally boasts a wraparound terrace with views of lower Manhattan. The rent? $39,000 a month, no less.
• Sting – He’ll be making a guest appearance on the upcoming Christmas-themed episode of “The Michael J Fox Show” (NBC). The singer-songwriter will star as himself and perform a song from his 11th solo album, “The Last Ship”, which was released in September.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Elysium” ( R-Rated Sci-Fi Thriller ): “District 9” director Neill Blomkamp’s futuristic thriller is set in year 2154, when the very wealthy live on a manmade space station while the rest of the population resides on a ruined Earth. Matt Damon plays the hero who takes on a mission to bring equality to the polarized worlds. Co-stars Jodie Foster, Sharlto Copley.
• “The Family” ( R-Rated Crime Comedy ): Director Luc Besson’s latest follows a notorious mafia clan that is relocated to Normandy, France under the Witness Protection Program. There they find fitting in becomes a real challenge when their old habits die hard. Stars Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Dianna Agron.
• “Kick-Ass 2” ( R-Rated Action Comedy ): The masked high-school hero joins a group of regular citizens who’ve been inspired to also fight crime in costume just as ‘Red Mist’ plots an act of revenge. Stars Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Chloe Grace Moretz, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, and Jim Carrey … who trashed the film for its excess violence before it debuted in theaters.
• “The Lone Ranger” (  PG-13 Western Adventure ): Native American warrior ‘Tonto’ (Johnny Depp) recounts the untold tales that transform lawman ‘John Reid’ into a legend of justice known as the ‘Lone Ranger’ (Armie Hammer). One of the year’s big duds. Movie audiences just didn’t accept Caucasian Depp playing a Native American … with a dead bird on his head.
• “One Direction: This Is Us” ( PG Music Documentary ): Documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock (“Super Size Me”) mixes concert footage with behind-the-scenes clips to follow the Brit boy-band’s meteoric rise to fame after being assembled by Simon Cowell in 2010 for “The X Factor UK”. Stars Liam Payne, Harry Styles, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan.
• “Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters” ( PG Fantasy Adventure ): In Part 2 of this trilogy based on the novels by Rick Riordan, the son of Poseidon and his friends embark on a quest to the Sea of Monsters to find the mythical Golden Fleece while trying to stop an ancient evil from rising. Stars Logan Lerman, Alexandra Daddario, Brandon T Jackson, Nathan Fillion.
• Also released today: “Burn Notice: The Complete Series” (TV); “Family Guy: Volume 12” (TV Animation); “Justified: The Complete 4th Season” (TV); “Omnibus: Gene Kelly – Dancing: A Man’s Game” (Documentary); “Shameless: The Complete 3rd Season” (TV); and “The Sound of Music Live!” (TV Musical).

BAD GIFT CHOICES:
The New Zealand Customs Service is warning Kiwis that weapons are not a good idea for Christmas stockings. A spokesman says travelers and online shoppers need to be aware that flick knives, knuckle-dusters, daggers, stun guns, and pepper spray are prohibited or restricted in New Zealand. Those who think they are good Christmas presents will have them seized at the border. (“ … 4 flick knives, 3 knuckle-dusters, 2 stun guns, and a blackjack filled with lead.”)
– Independent Radio News

PRODUCTS THAT WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE SO MUCH BETTER IN 2014:
✓ Donation Alarm Clock – Kills 2 resolutions with 1 buzz. Every time you hit the snooze button, it donates some of your money to a charitable organization. (thinkgeek.com)
✓ Glow-in-the-Dark Toilet Locator Strip – Never miss again, guys! Attach this luminescent self-adhesive strip inside the toilet rim in order to set your sights at night. (jonnyglow.com)
✓ The StickNFind – Self-adhesive RFID discs that stick to keys, a wallet, maybe a cat? Can be located quickly using a smartphone app. But what if you lose your phone? (sticknfind.com)
✓ Waterproof iPod Shuffle – Now you don’t have to relinquish your jamz even when you’re doing all those laps in a pool or splashing around in a tropical sea. (waterfi.com)
– Buzzfeed.com

DECORATING WITH THE DIRTY DIGIT:
A Louisiana woman ran afoul of police last year when she gave her neighbors an unusual holiday greeting, hanging Christmas lights in the shape of … a middle finger. Seems she was in an ongoing dispute with some of her neighbors in Denham Springs, so she decided to send a message with her decorations. Neighbors complained and police threatened to arrest her, so she and the ACLU sued the city. Eventually a judge ruled in her favor, clearing the way for an encore. (Others may have a ‘green thumb’, but this little lady has a red-and-green finger.)
– AP

MOST INSTAGRAMMED LOCATIONS OF 2013:
5. Disney World – Orlando FL.
4. Bellagio Fountains – Las Vegas NV.
3. Disneyland – Anaheim CA.
2. Times Square – NYC NY.
1. Siam Paragon Shopping Mall – Bangkok, Thailand.
(Thais are wild about Instagram; it’s the 2nd year in-a-row that a Thai location has topped the list.)
– AFP

BS AMAZING REINDEER FACTS:
✓ The average speed of a normal reindeer is 15 mph. However, Santa’s magical team is required to average 650 miles – per second – to complete his Christmas Eve worldwide trip.
✓ Assuming ‘Rudolph’ was in front, there are 40,320 ways to arrange the other 8 reindeer.
✓ Reindeer milk has far more fat than cow milk. Sort of the consistency of egg nog.
✓ “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer” was created in 1939 in Chicago IL for a department store Christmas promotion. The lyrics were written as a poem by Robert May, but weren’t set to music until 1947. Gene Autry recorded the hit song in 1949.

BS CHRONOMETER 12.17.13


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1966 [47] Duane Propes, Arlington TX, country bassist (Little Texas-“Life Goes On”, “My Love”)

1969 [44] Laurie Holden, LA CA, TV actress (‘Andrea’ on “The Walking Dead” 2010-13)

1973 [40] Eddie Fisher, Colorado Springs CO, rock drummer (OneRepublic-“Stop & Stare”, “Apologize”)

1974 [39] Giovanni Ribisi, LA CA, movie actor (“Avatar”, “Flight Of the Phoenix”)

1975 [38] Milla Jovovich, Kiev, Ukraine, movie actress (“Resident Evil” films, “Zoolander”)

1978 [35] Neil Sanderson, Peterborough ON, rock drummer (Three Days Grace-“Break”, “Just Like You”)

1982 [31] Ben Goldwasser, Mishawaka IN, indie rock singer (MGMT-“Kids”, “Electric Feel”)

1986 [27] Emma Bell, Woodstown NJ, TV actress (‘Emma Brown’ on “Dallas” 2013, ‘Amy’ on “The Walking Dead” 2010-12)

1989 [24] Taylor York, Nashville TN, rock bassist (Paramore-“Decode”, “Crushcrushcrush”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Audubon Christmas Bird Count” through January 3rd, when more than 40,000 North American bird watchers will conduct the annual numbering of our feathered friends.

• “Cold Moon”, the Full Moon of December that is known variously as the “Oak Moon”, “Birth Moon”, “Moon Before Yule”, or “Long Night Moon”.

• “Cookie Cutter Day”, an annual salute to the handy little devices that help us make yummy Christmas cookies in the shape of stars, Christmas trees, and Santas.

• “First Flight Anniversary Celebration” at Kill Devil Hills NC. A tradition since 1928, it honors the Wright Bros’ flight at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina on December 17th, 1903.

• “Free Shipping Day”, an annual pre-Christmas shopping event when participating retailers offer free delivery with purchases.

• “International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers”, the 10th annual when organizers ask sex workers and their customers around-the-world to gather at 5 pm local time to honor those who’ve been killed while on-the-job.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/ccpv2jo

• “Maple Syrup Day”, the opportunity to enjoy and appreciate this delicious North American treat. Canada makes more than 80% of the world’s supply, most of it coming from the province of Québec. The state of Vermont is the biggest producer in the USA.

• “Oatmeal Muffin Day”, a day to enjoy the cholesterol-lowering benefit of oatmeal in your muffins … then slather on the butter.

• “Saturnalia” began, the week-long festival in ancient Rome honoring Saturn the planter god, which initiated the lasting traditions of exchanging gifts, illuminating lights, and closing businesses. Early Christian church leaders scheduled “Christmas” at this time of year partly to counteract this extremely popular pagan celebration.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [10] “Lord Of the Rings: The Return Of the King” opens in movie theaters (final film of the trilogy)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1994 [19] Pop diva Celine Dion (then 26) marries her manager Rene Angelil (then 52) at the Notre-Dame Basilica in Montréal

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1933 [80] 1st ‘NFL Championship Game’ (Chicago Bears 23, NY Giants 21)

2010 [03] Mohamed Bouazizi set himself afire, an act that becomes the catalyst for the Tunisian revolution and is later credited with initiating the so-called ‘Arab Spring’

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2000 [13] During a 17-0 victory by the San Francisco 49ers over the Chicago Bears, Niners wide receiver Terrell Owens sets a new NFL record of 20 catches in a single game

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Answer the Phone Like Buddy the Elf Day
[Wed] International Migrants Day
[Wed] “2013 Canada’s Walk of Fame Awards” (Global)
[Thurs] Re-gifting Day
[Fri] “Christmas In Washington” (TNT)
This Week Is … Gluten-Free Baking Week
This Month Is … Universal Human Rights Month

BULL’S BITS


MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Why do they call it a ‘hot water heater’? Shouldn’t it be a ‘cold water heater’?
• How come no matter what color the soap is, the suds are always white?
• Why do they call it ‘lipstick’ if you can still move your lips?
• Why is the third hand on a watch called the ‘second hand’?
• Why don’t they just cut the price of a product instead of offering a mail-in rebate?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried!

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Do you consider your pet to be part of the family? (93% of pet owners say ‘yes’.) How is it included in family activities?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Most women say they can do THIS better than a man. In fact, 29% of women say they have ‘mastered’ this skill.
Answer: Gift wrapping.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You cannot lead any further than you have gone yourself.


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