Wednesday, December 18, 2013       Edition: #5126

100% Grade A Bull!

★ The honorees who will be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2014 have been announced: Cat Stevens (now Yusuf Islam), E Street Band, Hall & Oates, Kiss, Linda Ronstadt, Nirvana, Peter Gabriel, and late Beatles’ manager Brian Epstein. Those are the finalists from 16 acts that were shortlisted in October. Artists become eligible for induction 25 years after the release of their first recording. The induction ceremony will be held in NYC April 10th. (This year’s crop doesn’t seem to have any beefs with each other or the biz in general and may all actually perform.)
★ Actor Paul Walker’s official death certificate states that he died from ’combined effects of thermal and traumatic injuries’. The document concludes that the late “Fast & Furious” star not only suffered numerous injuries in the horrific car crash on November 30th, but also burned to death in the subsequent explosion. Walker’s body was cremated last Thursday and he was laid to rest at the Forest Lawn Memorial Park in LA’s Hollywood Hills on Saturday. (‘Thermal injuries’ sounds so gentle. Burned in a holocaust is more like it.)
★ Victoria & David Beckham have spent £50,000 ($81,000) on Christmas decorations. The celeb couple reportedly called in upscale department store Fortnum & Mason to deck out the mansion they are currently renting in west London. The lavish festive makeover took 2 days to complete after a creative director ‘visualized the concept’. The elaborate gold & white-themed decor includes 3 large Christmas trees, 2 smaller ones, and a number of designer accessories that reportedly ‘look like diamonds’. (This is how the other 1% lives.)
– “Heat Magazine”
★ And Disney has now confirmed there will not be another ‘Indiana Jones’ movie for at least 2 years as they don’t even have a story outline at the moment. The Mouse House recently bought out marketing & distribution rights to future ‘Indy’ films from Paramount Pictures, but estimates it could take up to 3 years before the archaeologist embarks on his next adventure. Series star Harrison Ford admitted last month that he’d love to return to the character and make another film … even at his age. (Which is likely to be 74-plus by the time they get around to it.)

• “Barbara Walters Presents the 10 Most Fascinating People of 2013” (ABC) – On her annual 90-minute special, the veteran journalist interviews some of the year’s top newsmakers. This year’s fascinators include long-distance swimmer Diana Nyad, NSA leaker Edward Snowden,  movie star Jennifer Lawrence, Kimye (Kim Kardashian & Kanye West), Miley Cyrus, Pope Francis, Britain’s Prince George, the Robertson family (“Duck Dynasty”), and Robin Roberts (“Good Morning America”).
• “Canada’s Walk of Fame Awards 2013” (Global) – The 15th annual honorees include actor Alan Thicke (“Growing Pains”); music producer Bob Ezrin (Pink Floyd, Taylor Swift); pop singer Carly Rae Jepsen; soccer player Christine Sinclair; late jazz pianist Oscar Peterson; and actor Victor Garber (“Argo”, “Titanic”).
• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Aaron Neville (“My True Story”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Bad Religion (“True North”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Blue Rodeo (“In Our Nature”).
• “A Home For the Holidays With Celine Dion” (CBS) – Inspirational stories of adoption; musical performances by Chris Young, Ne-Yo.
• “The iHeartradio Jingle Ball 2013” (CW) – Performers at NYC’s Madison Square Garden include Ariana Grande, Austin Mahone, Enrique Iglesias, Fall Out Boy, Fifth Harmony, Jason Derulo, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Miley Cyrus, Paramore, Pitbull, and Robin Thicke. Recorded December 13th.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Haim (“Days are Gone”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tame Impala (“Lonerism”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Cher Lloyd f/Skee-Lo (“Sticks + Stones”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Brett Dennen (“Smoke & Mirrors”).
• “Michael Buble’s 3rd Annual Christmas Special” (NBC/CTV) – The Canadian crooner performs Christmas classics. Guests include Mary J Blige, Mariah Carey, and … and Cookie Monster.
• “The Sing-Off” (NBC) – The groups perform songs from movies.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Il Volo (“Buon Natale: The Christmas Album”).
• “The X Factor” (FOX/CTV2) – The remaining acts perform.

• Brad Paisley – He’s received the ‘Harmony Award’ from the Nashville Symphony, presented each year to a person who exemplifies musical excellence, embodies the spirit of community, and contributes to Nashville TN’s music industry.
• The Beatles – “Beatles Bootleg Recordings 1963”, a cache of 2 hours-and-29 minutes-worth of their archive recordings, appeared on iTunes in the early hours of Tuesday around-the-world before being taken down shortly afterward. The brief posting was a technicality required to extend copyright protection from 50 years to 70.
• Miley Cyrus – On tonight’s “Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People” special, she says that conquering her fear of being alone has been bigger than any other transition she went through this year.
• Rihanna – She’s become the new face of Balmain. The 25-year-old will front the ad campaign for the French fashion label’s Spring/Summer 2014 collection, which is expected to run in magazines beginning in January.
• Rita Ora – She’s reportedly going to be the face of a new DKNY fragrance. The “Hot Right Now” hitmaker, who worked with the brand earlier this year when she closed the show at New York Fashion Week, is rumored to be fronting the as-yet-unnamed scent in 2014.
• Wynonna – She’s admitted to having a tracker surreptitiously attached to her sister Ashley Judd’s car, but insists she was only trying to keep tabs on her daughter from her doomed marriage to Arch Kelley. Her actress-sister is said to have custody of the teenager.

It’s no secret that what men find attractive in a woman is quite different from the opinion of other women. According to a new survey commissioned by, men prefer blonde hair, full lips, and strong cheekbones, but a petite nose, less prominent forehead, and finer eyebrows. Men love Shakira’s hair, Miranda Kerr’s nose, Jennifer Aniston’s forehead, and Kate, Duchess of Cambridge’s eyebrows. A composite of men’s picks …
On the other hand, women see the epitome of beauty as raven hair, a strong nose, bushy brows, and narrower bone structure. Thus, women prefer Freida Pinto’s hair, Keira Knightley’s cheekbones, Megan Fox’s chin, and Blake Lively’s nose. A portrayal of women’s picks …
– Mail Online

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 87% of us say we’d trade one of our holiday gifts in order to make someone else happy.
• 80% of us admit we have often received Christmas presents we didn’t want or like.
• 40% of guys say they never consult their significant other when considering a job change.
• 30% of us say we never answer phone calls from the boss after-hours.
• 24% of us have hooked up with someone either during or after an office party.
• 5% of us have had a fling at or after an ‘Ugly Christmas Sweater Party’.

18-year-old University of Alberta students Ed Ilnicki and Nate Wawrzonek have taken the Internet by storm after posting an image of a drinking game they invented this past Summer. What they’ve dubbed ‘Alcohockey’ is similar to beer pong. It’s played on an air hockey table with holes at each end big enough for booze cups. Hit the puck into a cup, your opponent drinks the contents. Score a goal in the traditional air hockey net, your opponent downs a shot. They’re currently looking to finalize a patent for the game. (Win or lose, everybody’s drunk.)

Based on total box office generated by their movies over the past 12 months …
5. Sandra Bullock – $862 million (“Gravity”).
4. Vin Diesel – $887 million (“Fast & Furious 6”).
3. Steve Carell – $964 million (“Despicable Me 2”, “The Way Way Back”, “The Incredible Burt Wonderstone”).
2. Robert Downey Jr – $1.2 billion (“Iron Man”).
1. Dwayne Johnson – $1.3 billion (“Fast & Furious 6”, “GI Joe: Retaliation”, “Pain & Gain”).

All that family time over the holidays can sometimes lead to squabbles. According to a new study, two-thirds of families get into arguments on Christmas Day. The study even pinpoints the moment where, on average, everyone stops being on their best behavior. The exact time when the ‘sheet’ might hit the fan on Christmas is … 3:18 pm. Why the Grinch-y behavior? The most common point of contention is the TV remote (17%), followed by cleaning up after dinner (12%), and too much booze (10%). (Not to mention the fact your brother is such a loser.)

When the term ‘guilty pleasure’ first appeared in the “New York Times” in 1860, it was used to describe … a brothel.
– “New Yorker”


1943 [70] Keith Richards, Dartford UK, classic rock guitarist (Rolling Stones-“Start Me Up”, “Satisfaction”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)

1946 [67] Steven Spielberg, Cincinnati OH, movie director-producer (“Lincoln”, “Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of the Crystal Skull”)/3 Academy Awards: “Saving Private Ryan”, “Schindler’s List”, Irving G Thalberg Award)/estimated net-worth: $3.3 billion (2013)

1954 [59] Ray Liotta, Newark NJ, movie actor (“The Place Beyond the Pines”, “Goodfellas”)

1963 [50] Brad Pitt, Shawnee OK, movie actor (“Moneyball”, “Inglorious Basterds”/Angelina Jolie’s partner since 2005/wed to Jennifer Aniston 2000-05

1975 [38] Randy Houser, Lake MS, country singer (“Runnin’ Outta Moonlight”, “How Country Feels”)

1978 [35] Katie Holmes, Toledo OH, movie actress (“Batman Begins”, “First Daughter”)/TV actress (“The Kennedys” 2011, “Dawson’s Creek” 1998-2003)/Mrs Tom Cruise 2006-12

1980 [33] Christina Aguilera, Staten Island NY, TV personality (“The Voice” since 2011)/pop singer (“Beautiful”, “Genie In a Bottle”)/5 Grammy Awards/30 million+ albums sold worldwide

• “Answer the Telephone Like Buddy the Elf Day”. Who’s that? If you’ve seen the 2003 movie “Elf”, you don’t have to ask. The idea is to pick up the phone and answer: “Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?”, a quote that comes straight from the movie.

• “Bake Cookies Day”. What’s the best kind of homemade cookie: Chocolate Chip, Oatmeal-Raisin, or Peanut Butter?

• “International Migrants Day”, a day of solidarity for migrant workers, on the anniversary of the UN’s 1990 adoption of the International Convention On the Protection Of the Rights of All Migrants Workers & Members of Their Families. (Catchy name.)

• “Roast Suckling Pig Day”. Here [co-host], put this apple in your mouth!”

• “Wear a Plunger On Your Head Day” for some unknown reason. Something to do with your potty mouth maybe?

2002 [11] “Lord Of the Rings: The Two Towers” opens in theaters (grosses over $926 million worldwide)

1983 [30] With Mick Jagger serving as best man, Keith Richards weds longtime girlfriend Patti Hansen on his 40th birthday in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

2004 [09] The Gibson SG guitar that The Beatles’ George Harrison played on “Revolver” and  John Lennon used on the “White Album” fetches almost $600,000 at a NYC auction

1993 [20] ‘World’s Largest Hotel’ opens, the 5,000-room MGM Grand in Las Vegas (Izmailovo Hotel in Moscow, Russia now claims to be largest with 7,500 rooms)

[Thurs] Re-gifting Day
[Fri] “Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues”; “Walking With Dinosaurs” open in movie theaters
[Fri] “Christmas In Washington” (TNT)
[Fri] Sangria Day
[Sat] 1st Day of Winter
[Sat] Humbug Day
This Week Is … Tell Someone They’re Doing a Good Job Week
This Month Is … Closed Caption TV Month


From the vantage point of someone 20 years beyond …
• Get to work late, leave early, and take all your sick days. Success at work only results in more work.
• If you want kids, have them now.
• Nothing is serious unless it’s a mole that changes shape.
• Floss.
• Spend a lot less time doing the “have to’s” and a lot more time doing the “want to’s”.
• Everyone is insane including you. That’s normal and OK.
• When you fall in love, don’t forget your friends. You’ll need them after the break-up.
• However high you get, you have to fall that low before you’re balanced again.
• Don’t go to grad school just because you can’t think of anything else to do.
• Nothing good happens after 3 am.
– Adapted from

☎ How much would you pay to have a Christmas tree delivered? (NYC Trees, an on-demand Christmas tree delivery service in New York, charges $79 to dispatch a ‘timber technician’, who’ll install a fresh-cut Fraser fir on a stand in your home within 1 hour.)

Life not only begins at 40, it begins to show.

“The 12 Days of Christmas” – 30 years of rising prices …

What is a ‘whirling dervish’?
a. A 19th-century spinning top toy.
b. A Turkish dancer. [CORRECT. The “Festival of Whirling Dervishes” spins this month in Konya, Turkey, when traditionally dressed male dancers whirl in tight circles to achieve mystical union with heaven. The dizzy custom goes back over 700 years.]
c. A difficult spin in figure skating.

Question: Asked what they least wanted for Christmas, the #1 answer of both men & women was ‘a bad sweater’, followed by THIS.
Answer: A calendar.

Each problem solved introduces a new unsolved problem.

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