Friday, December 2, 2011        Edition: #4643
Can You Believe This Sheet?


A copy of the 1st issue of Action Comics, in which ‘Superman’ was unveiled to the world, has sold in an online auction for a record $2.16 million (when it was published in 1938, it cost 10 cents) . . . Just hours after refuting a report she’d kidnapped her 5-year-old son from his father’s Florida home, former country singer Mindy McCready has revealed to that she’s 5-months pregnant – with twins – via an unknown father (this all has the makings of a great country song!) . . . It’s official – former reality TV star Kristin Cavallari & Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler are engaged again (wonder what the Vegas over/under is on the couple making it to the altar?) . . . “Modern Family” actor Ed O’Neil says he’d be ‘up for’ a reunion of the long-running FOX-TV sitcom “Married … With Children” (1987-97), but it might be tough considering the majority of the cast has moved on to other shows (only ‘Bud’ isn’t busy) . . . “Hangover” star Bradley Cooper is burning through Hollywood’s single ladies, first rumored to be with Jennifer Lopez, then actress Melanie Laurent, and now there’s talk he’s dating “Avatar” actress Zoe Saldana (though her rep insists they’re ‘just friends’) . . . Speaking of J-Lo, “Us Weekly” has pics of her new boy-toy, 24-year-old Casper Smart, playing with her twins (easy for him to bond, seeing as they’re so close in age) . . . Oscar-nominated “Social Network” star Jesse Eisenberg is suing the makers of the schlocky 2010 horror flick “Camp Hell” for $3 million over the misuse of his name and image to promote it when he only appears on camera for less than 5 minutes (not their fault you made a crappy career move, dude) . . . And “Glee” star Mark Salling (‘Puck’) has revealed that he’s having trouble sitting after fracturing his pelvis during a recent basketball game (he’s also apparently now having difficulty ‘dribbling’).


• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Sting (“Best of 25 Years”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – F***ed Up (“David Comes to Life”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight Nickelback (“Here & Now”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Goldheart Assembly (“Wolves & Thieves”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Jane’s Addiction (“The Great Escape Artist”). Rerun.
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Classic rock act Foreigner performs an acoustic medley.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Steve Buscemi (“Boardwalk Empire”); musical guest the Black Keys (“El Camino”, out December 6th).
• “Sucker Free Awards” (MTV2) – Sunday Sway Calloway hosts the inaugural edition from Miami Beach, Florida, which honors the hip-hop songs, personalities, and events of the year.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Today 1980s act The Bangles (“Walk Like an Egyptian”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight Shelby Lynne (“Revelation Road”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Dia Frampton (“Cocoon”).


• Adele – Her hit album “21” has now been certified 4X Platinum for sales of over 4 million units. It’s the year’s best-selling album.
• Backstreet Boys – Today their 2nd annual ‘Backstreet Boys Cruise’ departs from Miami, Florida. Kevin Richardson, who quit the group 5 years back, will return for the cruise ship’s ‘Beach Party Concert’ in the Bahamas on Saturday. Richardson says he’s now open to performing with his former bandmates on a more regular basis. (BS translation: Times are tough.)
• Jennifer Lopez – She’s set to release a greatest hits album next year, according to one of her producers. It’s also thought a couple of tracks of new material may be included with the compilation. (Because she only has 9 hits.)
• Lady Gaga – Sunday at LA’s Hollywood Palladium she receives the annual ‘Hero Award’ from the Trevor Project, in recognition of her work with the LGBT community. The non-profit organization  offers suicide-prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth. The “Trevor Live” event includes appearances by Fergie, Julianne Hough, and Miley Cyrus, along with Chris Colfer & Darren Criss from “Glee”.
• Reba McEntire – Tonight she hosts the “NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Awards” at Wynn Las Vegas. The ceremony honors the 2011 NASCAR Sprint Cup champion and other drivers who finished among the top 10 in the final standings. Reba’s son, Shelby Blackstock, competes in GRAND-AM Road Racing competition, and she attended several of his events this year.
• Stevie Wonder – The Motown legend tells Ellen DeGeneres he’s losing weight so he’ll look good while competing in the next season of “Dancing With the Stars”. He’ll be the show’s first-ever blind competitor. (Actress Marlee Matlin was the first deaf contestant, finishing 7th in 2008.)
• Taylor Swift – Tonight she receives the ‘Woman Of the Year Award’ at the “Billboard Women in Music” event in NYC. The gala celebrates the most powerful and talented women in the music biz, and coincides with the publication of the magazine’s ‘Women in Music Power Players’ list for 2011.


• “Shame” ( NC-17 Drama ) – In director Steve McQueen’s follow-up to “Hunger”, Michael Fassbender stars as a young man in NYC who’s carefully cultivated a private life which allows him to indulge his sexual addiction … until his sister arrives unannounced for an indefinite stay. The audience rating relates to the film’s penchant for full frontal shots. Co-stars Carey Mulligan.
• “Sleeping Beauty” ( NR Drama ) – Emily Browning (“Sucker Punch”) stars in this portrait of a young university student drawn into a mysterious hidden world of unspoken desires. The film’s sexually-charged content divided audiences at its “Cannes Film Festival” premiere. Co-stars Rachael Blake, Ewen Leslie.

• “Friends With Benefits” ( R-Rated Romantic Comedy ): What would “No Strings Attached” have been like with Justin Timberlake & Mila Kunis instead of Ashton Kutcher & Natalie Portman? That question’s answered as they play a pair of professionals who embark on a ‘no-getting-serious’ physical relationship.
• “The Smurfs” ( PG Family Comedy ): The former TV cartoon characters (1981-90) are still blue and ‘3-apples-high’ in this mix of CG/live action. In this bigscreen version they’re transported to NYC, where they befriend a human played by Neil Patrick Harris. Voice cast includes George Lopez, Katy Perry, Jeff Foxworthy, Jonathan Winters, and Paul Reubens.


Highlights from the 2011 “Christmas Book” from luxury retailer Neiman Marcus …
• $5,000 for a Johnnie Walker private scotch tasting.
• $45,000 for a Tom Burr Table-Tennis Table.
• $125,000 for an Assouline custom-built library.
• $250,000 for 1-of-10 limited-edition Hacker-Craft speedboats.
• $395,000 for 1-of-10 limited-edition Ferrari FF sports cars.
• $420,000 for an International Flower Show Tour via private jet for 10 people.
• $1 million for a customized ‘Dancing Fountain’ by WET.
(Recession? What recession?)

“Sesame Street” is set to run in Afghanistan, where it’s never been on-air before. But the Afghan version will be significantly different. Any content that encourages viewers to sing or dance will be removed as Afghan parents would frown on children participating in such activity in front of the TV. Instead, characters will encourage kids to ‘exercise’. Producers also tested a scene in which ‘Ernie’ barks like a dog and found that also proved offensive, as dogs are considered to be unclean in Afghanistan. The program, to be called “Baghch-e-Simsim”, is a co-production of Sesame Workshop and Moby Media, an Afghan company that’s already brought western TV formats like “Deal or No Deal” to the airwaves. (This is the best we have to offer?)

In a new survey, Japan’s National Institute of Population & Social Security Research has found that more and more of the country’s young people are shunning the idea of marriage and having children. Some of the latest stats …
• 61% of unmarried men aged 18-to-34 have no girlfriend.
• 50% of single women 18-to-34 have no boyfriend.
• 49% of both genders say they do not want to date anyone.
• 25% of singles in their 30s admit they have never had sex … ever.
(At this rate, Japan’s going extinct!)


• A British bank once accepted a cheque written on a cow. (They were a little disappointed when the cow left an unexpected ‘deposit’ in the bank lobby.)
• For every person on Earth, there are over 200 million insects. (Most of which are swarming around the dumpster behind Denny’s.)
• Some birds sing more than 2,000 times a day. (Then they’re put in the Witness Protection Program and given a million-dollar book deal.)


1960 [51] Rick Savage, Sheffield UK, classic rock bassist (Def Leppard-“Promises”, “Photograph”)

1968 [43] Lucy Liu, Queens NY, movie actress (“Kung Fu Panda”, “Kill Bill”)/TV actress (“Dirty Sexy Money” 2008-09, “Allie McBeal” 1998-2002)

1968 [43] Nate Mendel, Richmond WA, rock bassist (Foo Fighters-“The Pretender”, “Best of You”)

1978 [33] Nelly Furtado, Victoria BC, pop singer (“Say It Right”, “Promiscuous”)

1978 [33] Chris Wolstenholme, Rotherham UK, rock bassist/vocalist (Muse-“Resistance”, “Uprising”)

1981 [30] Britney Spears, Kentwood LA, pop singer (“3”, “Baby One More Time”)/ex-Mrs Kevin Federline (2005-07)/mom to Sean Preston & Jayden James

1983 [28] Aaron Rodgers, Chico CA, NFL quarterback (2011 Super Bowl-Green Bay Packers)

Rock singer Ozzy Osbourne (Black Sabbath) is 63; TV actor Steven Culp (“Desperate Housewives”) is 56; Movie actress Julianne Moore (“The Kids Are All Right”) is 51; Movie actor Brendan Fraser (“The Mummy”) is 43; Movie actress Amanda Seyfried (“Mamma Mia”) is 26.

Movie actor Jeff Bridges (“Crazy Heart”) is 62; Country musician Brian Prout (Diamond Rio) is 56; Movie actress Marisa Tomei (“The Wrestler”) is 47; Comedian Fred Armisen (“Saturday Night Live”) is 45; Rapper Jay-Z (“Empire State of Mind”) is 42; Model/TV personality Tyra Banks (“America’s Next Top Model”) is 38.

• “Extraordinary Work Team Recognition Day”, a day for the boss to pass out ‘attaboys’. (Because it’s far cheaper than year-end bonuses.)
• “Fritters Day”, honoring the yummy treat made by frying up small cakes of dough in butter or oil. (Yum! Really good for ya, too!)
• “International Day For the Abolition of Slavery”, a United Nations observance begun in 1949.
• “Mutt Day”, saluting all dogs that are cross-breeds, no-breeds, and all-breeds.
• “Pan American Health Day”, saluting the Pan American Health Organization, which works to improve health and living standards in all the countries of the Americas.
• “Special Education Day”, initiated in 1975 to promote access to education for all children, including those with disabilities.
• “United Arab Emirates National Day”, celebrating the 40th anniversary of independence of the federation of 7 Persian Gulf states from Britain (1971).

• “International Day of Disabled Persons”, sponsored by the United Nations.
• “Roof Over Your Head Day”, to draw attention to the plight of the homeless.

• “Cookie Day”, celebrating the yummiest treat of all. What’s the best kind? Chocolate chip? Oatmeal and raisin? Peanut butter with macadamia nuts?
• “St Barbara’s Day”, patron saint of firemen, architects, mathematicians, fireworks, miners, sailors, and against lightning, fire, explosions, and sudden death. Tradition has it that girls should place a cherry tree twig in a glass of water on this day. According to the old custom, if it blooms by Christmas Eve, they’ll marry in the next year.
• “Wear Brown Shoes Day” for some unknown reason. (To get the full effect, make sure you wear ‘em with something black.)

1997 [14] “Good Will Hunting”, the movie that will earn childhood friends Ben Affleck & Matt Damon a ‘Best Screenplay’ Oscar and propel them to Hollywood stardom, premieres in Los Angeles

1991 [20] US Supreme Court rules that oldies acts BJ Thomas, Gene Pitney, and the Shirelles are owed $1.2 million in unpaid royalties (ripping off artists used to be a record company tradition)

1982 [29] 1st permanent ‘Artificial Heart’ is implanted in patient Barney Clark at the University of Utah

1985 [26] Highest-rated “ABC Monday Night Football” telecast ever as Miami Dolphins beat Chicago Bears 38-24, snapping the Bears’ 12-game winning streak (Chicago’s only loss of the season, including the Super Bowl)

[Mon] “American Country Awards” (FOX)
[Mon] AFL-CIO Day
[Mon] Ashura (Muslim)
[Mon] Bathtub Party Day
[Mon] International Ninja Day
[Mon] International Volunteer Day for Economic & Social Development
This Week Is … Christmas Tree Week
This Month Is … Safe Toys & Gifts Month


• “Miracle & A Quickie on 42nd Street: A Times Square Christmas”
• “There IS no Santa Claus, Charlie Brown”
• The Kardashian sisters in “Ho, Ho, Ho!”
• “It’s a Wonderful Life, My Ass … Pass the Malt Liquor”

• What’s this ‘free gift’ we always hear about in ads? Aren’t all gifts free?
• Do those oft-pictured poker-playing dogs own paintings of humans playing ‘fetch’?
• If writers ‘write’, why don’t fingers ‘fing’, grocers ‘groce’, and hammers ‘ham’?
• Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
• If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

What’s the best Christmas gift you received as a kid? Do you still have it?


Anyone who’s capable of getting themselves elected president shouldn’t be allowed the job.


Question: 3-out-of-10 married people are guilty of THIS.
Answer: Stealing the covers. (“Glamour”)

He who tells you how great he is usually isn’t.

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