Can You Believe This Sheet?
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Yesterday the stars of the hit TV drama “Downton Abbey” filled in as serving staff at a charity benefit in upmarket London restaurant The Ivy. Actors Laura Carmichael (‘Lady Edith Crawley’), Jim Carter (‘Mr Carson’), and Brendan Coyle (‘John Bates’) participated in the event organized by their co-star Samantha Bond (‘Lady Rosamund Painswick’). Guests paid £150 each ($225) for the privilege of being waited on by the “Downton” cast. Proceeds go to Acting for Others, a charity working with injured, ill, and elderly show biz people. (How fun would that be? “If you’d be so kind, Mr Carson. I believe I’ll have another martini.”)
★ Despite the fact the TV schedule is bursting with talent competitions, another is on the way. ABC in the US and ITV in the UK are both set to air versions of “Rising Star”, a new singing competition based on a hit Israeli format. In what’s described as ‘a talent show with a technological twist’, members of the public vote in real time through a free app as competitors perform. Contestants who achieve 70% approval from viewer votes and a panel of judges progress to the next round. “Rising Star” had a record-breaking debut on Channel 2 in Israel in September, winning a 49.4% audience share. (Of all the many, many singing competitions, how many legitimate stars have they created? About 3 by our tabulations.)
★ 23-year-old actress Jennifer Lawrence says fame has ruined her personal life. The “Hunger Games” star also says her high-profile acting career has robbed her of her freedom and she regrets not being able to do simple things, like hang out in coffee shops, without fans hounding her. Quote: “I’m just mourning my old life. I’ve had to create a new one and get used to this new life. It’s hard and it takes time, but I’m sure I will get it.” (How does she do it? Somehow she’s likable even when she’s whining.)
★ And Victoria Beckham has guest-edited the “Vogue Paris” magazine December issue. The pop singer-turned-designer worked closely with the magazine’s editor-in-chief Emmanuelle Alt to stage intimate photoshoots starring – who else? – herself and her husband David Beckham. The special Christmas issue features a profile on David, a sneak peak inside Victoria’s personal photo album, and a tea-time chat with 81-year-old fashion designer Valentino, whom Victoria counts as a close friend. (Someone she’s comfortable getting all pouty with.)
– Bang Showbiz
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “CMA Country Christmas” (ABC) – Country music stars share their favorite holiday traditions and memories in this 4th annual 2-hour celebration. Jennifer Nettles hosts; performances from Darius Rucker, Jake Owen, Kellie Pickler, Luke Bryan, Rascal Flatts, Sheryl Crow, and Trace Adkins among others.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – John Legend (“Love In the Future”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Gavin DeGraw (“Make a Move”);
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The Wild Feathers (“The Wild Feathers”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Strfkr (“Miracle Mile”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Paul McCartney (“New”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Deltron 3030 (“The Event II”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – Sheryl Crow (“Feels Like Home”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Soul music legend Booker T.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Two Door Cinema Club (“Changing Of the Seasons”). Rerun.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – The top 6 artists perform.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – TLC (“Hits Re Collection”).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Eminem – “The Marshall Mathers LP 2“ has returned to the top of the all-genre album sales chart this week, according to Nielsen SoundScan. It’s its 2nd non-consecutive week at #1.
• The Killers – Actor Owen Wilson stars in the video for their just-released 8th annual Christmas single. The track “Christmas In LA” was released yesterday to coincide with “World AIDS Day”. The new single will raise money for AIDS charities.
• Michael Jackson – His former doctor, Conrad Murray, has been threatened with legal action after telling UK’s “Mail on Sunday” that Michael was a ‘decrepit’ and ‘frail’ man who would beg for drugs. The lawyer for Jackson’s estate has ordered him to stop talking or face a lawsuit.
• Rihanna – After releasing 7 albums in 8 years, she has just surpassed total album sales of 10 million units.
TRUST YOUR GUT:
Those night-before-the-wedding jitters might be more logical than you thought. New Florida State University research has found that the gut reactions people have about each other shortly after their marriage helps predict whether they’ll still be together 4 years later. That’s the conclusion of a study of 135 newlywed couples who took a test designed to elicit their subconscious doubts. Previous research indicates that negative automatic attitudes early in a relationship are more likely than conscious ones to cause problems later on. (“I know I said ‘I do’ but on second thought ‘I don’t’.”)
WITHOUT A COUNTRY:
The world’s first ‘floating city’ is back on course as the Florida-based company behind it says it’s now hopeful it can raise the $1 billion needed to begin construction of the ‘Freedom Ship’. The largest vessel ever built would become home to 50,000 people and have its own airport, casinos, and shopping centers. The incredible $10-billion floating city would measure a mile long and 25 stories high, with the finished 2.7 million-ton vessel so big it could never enter a port. It would instead continuously sail the seas, constantly circling the globe. (Might take your appetite away for a cruise vacation.)
– Caters News Agency
Memo to parents of kids with weight issues: Get smaller bowls. A new Cornell University study indicates that when children are served meals in larger bowls they not only ask for a 2nd serving, they also eat more as well as waste more food. In experiments, preschoolers were served up breakfast cereal in 2 different sized bowls. The children were then asked if they wanted more several times until they were finally satisfied with the amount served. When using the bigger bowls, the kids requested an average of 87% more cereal. (This isn’t really surprising. When you’re 4 you want it FULL … no matter what it is.)
– CTV News
COME ON IN AND SNORT SOME LEAVES:
A British tea shop has unveiled what it calls ‘breathable tea’ that is served as a smoky gas. Camellia’s Tea House in London has created vaporized tea that can be inhaled through a straw so customers can get its health benefits more quickly and avoid burning their tongues. The innovation is touted to deliver antioxidant properties more quickly to the bloodstream. The tea is the latest in inhalable goods. Harvard professor David Edwards has previously invented products called ‘Le Whif’ and ‘AeroShot’ with the aim of delivering instant hits of vitamins and caffeine respectively. (Maybe for 50 bucks, they’ll let you inhale a steak dinner.)
SEEMS IT DOESN’T KEEP YOU ‘UP’ AFTER ALL:
While drugs like Viagra can certainly help men with erectile dysfunction, they won’t make them any happier, a new University of Maryland study claims. That’s because the little blue pills don’t help with relationship problems or underlying psychological causes of impotence. Other issues affecting impotence include depression, and anxiety, as well as alcohol and drug use. Bottom line, says the new study, Viagra (or any similar drug) doesn’t make men happier, because it won’t fix relationships. (That news failed to get a rise from anyone involved in the study.)
BS AMAZING FACT:
There’s only 1 sneeze in the entire “Bible”. (2nd Kings 4:32: “And the child sneezed seven times, and the child opened his eyes.” Now as to taking a whiz …)
– “Daily Telegraph”
BS CHRONOMETER 12.02.13
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1968  Lucy Liu, Queens NY, TV actress (‘Joan Watson’ on “Elementary” since 2012, “Dirty Sexy Money” 2008-09, “Allie McBeal” 1998-2002)/movie actress (“Kung Fu Panda”, “Kill Bill”)
1968  Nate Mendel, Richmond WA, rock bassist (Foo Fighters-“The Pretender”, “Best of You”)
1978  Nelly Furtado, Victoria BC, pop singer (“Say It Right”, “Promiscuous”)
1978  Chris Wolstenholme, Rotherham UK, rock bassist-vocalist (Muse-“Madness”, “Uprising”) BS FACTOID: Muse releases the “Live at Rome Olympic Stadium” CD/DVD/Blu-ray package tomorrow.
1981  Britney Spears, Kentwood LA, pop singer (w/will.i.am-“Scream & Shout”, “Baby One More Time”)/mom to Sean Preston & Jayden James BS FACTOID: Her new album “Britney Jean” is released tomorrow.
1983  Aaron Rodgers, Chico CA, NFL quarterback (2011 Super Bowl-Green Bay Packers) BS FACTOID: After fracturing his left clavicle in week 9 this season, he was expected to miss up to a month.
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cyber Monday”, a phrase coined by the retail industry in 2005 for what’s hyped as the online shopping equivalent of “Black Friday”, when special promotions are offered. (An attempt to boost the number of consumers using work computers for holiday shopping?)
• “Fritters Day”, honoring the yummy treat made by frying up small cakes of dough in butter or oil. (Yum! Really good for you, too!)
• “International Day For the Abolition of Slavery”, a United Nations observance begun in 1949.
• “Mutt Day”, saluting all dogs that are cross-breeds, no-breeds, and all-breeds.
• “Special Education Day”, initiated in 1975 to promote access to education for all children, including those with disabilities.
• “United Arab Emirates National Day”, celebrating the 42nd anniversary of independence of the federation of 7 Persian Gulf states from Britain (1971).
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1988  “The Naked Gun”, starring Leslie Neilsen, opens in movie theaters
1997  “Good Will Hunting”, the movie earns childhood pals Ben Affleck & Matt Damon a ‘Best Screenplay’ Oscar and propels them to Hollywood stardom, premieres in Los Angeles
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1973  The Who and their companions are jailed overnight in Montréal following $6,000-worth of hotel room destruction inflicted after their show at the Forum
1978  “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy” by Rod Stewart peaks at #1 on pop singles chart
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1983  MTV airs the full-length Michael Jackson “Thriller” video for the first time
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1985  Highest-rated “ABC Monday Night Football” telecast ever as Miami Dolphins beat Chicago Bears 38-24, snapping the Bears’ 12-game winning streak (Chicago’s only loss of the season, including the Super Bowl)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] International Day of Persons With Disabilities
[Wed] Cookie Day
[Wed] World Wildlife Conservation Day
[Thurs] Hanukkah ends (Jewish)
[Thurs] “The Sound of Music Live!” (NBC)
[Thurs] International Ninja Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Cookie Cutter Week / Handwashing Awareness Week / Recipe Greetings For the Holidays Week / Tolerance Week
BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
HABITS FOR HAPPIER MORNINGS:
Tips to kick off your day in a happy way …
• Stretch – Stretch every extremity for 15 seconds … before you open your eyes.
• Skip Decisions – For truly relaxing mornings, reduce the number of choices you make to zero.
• Drink Water – You’ve been fasting all night long, so you wake each morning dehydrated.
• Have an Emergency Outfit Ready – On mornings when you sleep through the alarm or need an extra 10 minutes, you can just pluck it off the hanger and go.
• Boost Your Heart Rate – Hop on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Studies have found that people who work out in the morning are more likely to stick with their exercise routine.
• Brush Your Tongue – There’s no better way to rid yourself of morning breath and begin the day minty fresh. A 1-minute brush is recommended to rid yourself of accumulated bacteria.
• Split Up – That means you use one bathroom and your partner uses another. It makes for a calmer, less stressful start to the day.
• Don’t Rush – Set your alarm 15 minutes earlier so you don’t have to jump out of bed and rush through your morning.
– First published in “BS” 2009.
BS REASONS NOT TO SEND THAT ‘FAMILY LETTER’ THIS CHRISTMAS:
• Those on your long-suffering recipient list haven’t yet finished last year’s 27-page treatise.
• Starting a letter with “Dear Family & Friends” is about as personal as a tombstone marked ‘Occupant’.
• Odds are your 2nd cousin’s family doesn’t give a rat’s ass about little Jeremy finally being potty-trained.
• Your exciting news that you’re spending the holidays cruising the Caribbean is more likely to make enemies than friends.
• While your pitiful little existence working long hours to pay the bills may be your center of the universe, other people may actually have a life.
• Next year, you’re going to get an equally boring letter from each of the people you send to.
– First published in “BS” 1999.
BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s a good question to ask on a first date? (Suggested in a recent poll: “Have you ever traveled around another country alone?”; “Do you like horror movies?”; “Wouldn’t it be fun to chuck it all and go live on a sailboat?”)
BS WEB GOODIES:
• View at your own risk! 1980s pop stars as they look now, some not a pretty sight …
• Does this seem fair to wild pigs? Hog hunting by drone …
BS RANDOM JOKE:
The early bird who catches the worm usually works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The majority of us think Sunday night is the most difficult night of the week to do THIS.
Answer: Fall asleep.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Kathy Cole @ Hi-FM Muscat, Oman; Corey McMaster @ CiTR [University of British Columbia] Vancouver BC; Tim McEgan @ Country 95 [CHLB] Lethbridge AB; Eric Ngando @ STV1 [Spectrum Group] Douala, Cameroon; Katherine Marsa @ 90.1 WIUP Indiana PA; Angus Bush @ 93.5 CHMR [Memorial University] St John’s NL; and Lou Attia @ The Peak [CFBV] Smithers BC.