Friday, December 20, 2013        Edition: #5128

Sheet For Brains!

★ A&E’s popular series “Duck Dynasty” is losing one of it’s flock for the time being. Phil Robertson, head of the millionaire Robinson clan, has been removed from the show following homophobic remarks he made in a “GQ” interview published this Wednesday. Among other controversial comments which can’t be repeated, Robertson compared homosexuality to bestiality, adultery, and prostitution. While the network has placed him under hiatus from filming indefinitely, the 5th season is set to return January 15th. (And it’s no doubt already in the can.)
– “Entertainment Weekly”
★ Frank Darabont, the creator behind the hit TV series “The Walking Dead”, is suing AMC network claiming that he’s being cheated out of profits. Darabont, who was fired after the first season, says the way AMC is calculating licensing fees is depriving him and other participants of tens-of-millions of dollars. Now in its 4th season, the series has been a huge success, drawing over 16 million viewers for this season’s premiere. (It’s not financial compensation but Darabont can feel somewhat vindicated that the show has increasingly sucked since he left.)
★ 41-year-old Hollywood star Cameron Diaz has taken a page from gal-pal Gwyneth Paltrow and written a book on nutrition & health. It’s titled “The Body Book: The Law of Hunger, the Science of Strength, and Other Ways to Love Your Amazing Body”. Diaz dishes about her personal experiences with nutritious eating, admitting she wasn’t always a health nut. Rather than focusing on a diet plan, the book offers ‘a holistic, long-term approach to making consistent choices and reaching the ultimate goal of a long, strong, happy, healthy life’. The book comes out December 31st. (With a title this cumbersome, the book must be 3-feet wide.)
★ And Saturday is the final day to bid on a laser gun used by Harrison Ford’s character ‘Han Solo’ in the “Star Wars” movies. Online auctioneer says the prop weapon, which does not fire, was used in close-up scenes in the sci-fi films. The Dl-44 Blaster’s most notable scene is in “The Empire Strikes Back” where ‘Darth Vader’ lifts the weapon out of Ford’s hand. The item has been posted with a reserve price of $200,000. (With more movies in the franchise on the way, odds are the bidding is likely to go ‘far, far away’ higher.)

• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Tonight Pentatonix (“PTXmas”).
• “Christmas In Washington” (TNT) – Tonight the annual event to benefit the Children’s National Medical Center features performances by Anna Kendrick (“Pitch Perfect”), Backstreet Boys, Janelle Monae, Pat Monahan (Train), and Sheryl Crow. Recorded December 15th at the National Building Museum.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Katy Perry (“Prism”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Toro Y Moi (“Anything In Return”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight St Lucia (“When the Night”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight Lissie (“Back to Forever”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight 1960s singer Darlene Love brings down the house with her annual over-the-top rendition of “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – Today Lenny Kravitz (“Are You Gonna Go My Way – 20th Anniversary Edition).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Jimmy Fallon (“Late Night”); musical guest Justin Timberlake (“The 20/20 Experience”).
• “The Sing-Off” (NBC) – Saturday a cappella groups compete for a recording contract. Rerun.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Today Mary J Blige (“A Mary Christmas”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Leona Lewis (“Christmas, with Love”).

• The Band Perry – Last night  Kimberly, Reid, and Neil Perry hit Twitter for a live chat with fans.
• Beyoncé – As expected, she’s stormed past Garth Brooks to top the new “Billboard” all-genre sales list with her surprise new self-titled album.
• Justin Bieber – His manager Scooter Braun is playing down the Bieb’s comments in an LA radio interview this week about retiring. Braun claims the 19-year-old is simply planning some down time in 2014. But that’s not what Justin said: “I think I’m probably going to quit music.”
• Florida Georgia Line – Brian Kelly tied the knot this week in a secret wedding, “People” reports. Kelly (28) wed Brittney Marie Cole (23) in an outdoor ceremony at his Nashville home.
• Pharrell Williams – He’s signed a new deal with Columbia Records. His new single “Happy”, featured on the “Despicable Me 2” soundtrack, will be featured on his Columbia album debut, to be released in 2014.

• “American Hustle” ( R-Rated Crime Drama ): In this 1970s-set true-crime drama, a con man and his female British partner are forced to work for a wild FBI agent, who pushes them into the world of New Jersey power brokers and the Mafia. Stars Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Jeremy Renner. Already has 7 Golden Globe nominations.
• “Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Will Ferrell’s been working the promo circuit hard on behalf of this sequel to his quirky 2004 comedy. With the 1970s behind him, San Diego’s top rated newsman tries to take NYC’s first 24-hour news channel by storm. Co-stars Christina Applegate, Paul Rudd, Steve Carell.
• “Walking With Dinosaurs 3-D” ( PG Family Animation ): A bigscreen adaptation of the BBC mini-series that went on to become an ongoing TV series. A realistic depiction of what it was like when dinosaurs ruled the Earth. Voice cast includes Charlie Rowe, Karl Urban, Angourie Rice, John Leguizamo.
• Opening in limited release: “Dhoom: 3” (Bollywood Action Thriller); “Her” (Dramedy); “The Past” (Mystery); and “The Selfish Giant” (Drama).

Like other fitness trackers on the market, Heapsylon’s new ‘Sensoria Fitness Socks’ count your steps, speed, calories, altitude, and distance, then send the data to your smartphone. The difference is, they also offer real-time info on cadence, foot landing technique, and weight distribution on the foot, whether walking or running. Oh, and after they’ve done all that, they can be tossed in the washing machine. The hi-tech hose officially launch in March, priced at $199 for 4 pairs in a choice of colors, plus the app. (Is there a digital LED scent meter?)

These are said to be the top trees, based on ‘needle-retention time’ …
• Colorado Blue Spruce, Balsam Fir … 2-3 weeks.
• Scotch Pine, Douglas Fir, Eastern White Pine … 4-5 weeks.
• Noble Fir, Concolor (White) Fir … 5 weeks.
• Fraser Fir … Up to 6 weeks.
(They missed ‘Plastic’ … 300 years’)
– “Detroit Free Press”

Does your little one put up a fight when bedtime rolls around? Instead of taking the my way or the highway approach, consider this: A study conducted at the University of Colorado suggests that putting a wee one to bed before their body clock is ready could lead to long-term insomnia. The study concludes that tots know when their ideal bedtime is. Researchers also found a good night’s sleep for a child depends on the rise in their body’s melatonin levels, the hormone that governs the internal body clock. As melatonin levels rise, tiredness sets in. If bedtime doesn’t coincide with this hormonal spike, a toddler is likely to toss and turn. (Not to mention wail.)

This may escalate the privacy concerns already being voiced about the Google Glass. Google has announced that users of the hi-tech eyewear can now take photos by … winking. The new feature has first been linked to the camera, but it’s thought to be possible that wearers may someday pay for a cab ride by winking at the meter or buy something in a shop with a blink. So far Glass has only been made available to developers and a limited number of ‘explorers’ who’ve paid $1,500 each to experience the eyewear. Google has yet to announce a public release date but speculation centers around early 2014. (We still say the Glass is half empty.)

Britain’s Lord Kitchener (1850-1916) had 4 spaniels called Shot, Bang, Miss, and Damn.
– “QI”


1966 [47] Chris Robinson, Atlanta GA, rock singer (Black Crowes-“She Talks to Angels”, “Hard to Handle”)/married to actress Kate Hudson 2000-06

1983 [30] Jonah Hill, Mill Valley CA, movie actor (“Django Unchained”, “Moneyball”)  COMING UP: “The Wolf of Wall Street” (December 25th); “22 Jump Street” (2014).

Movie actor Samuel L Jackson (“Django Unchained”) is 65; Movie actor Ray Romano (“Ice Age” films) is 56; TV actor Kiefer Sutherland (“24”) is 47; Rock singer-guitarist Brett Scallions (Fuel) is 42; Indie rock keyboardist Anna Bulbrook (Airborne Toxic Event) is 31; TV actor Steven Yeun (“The Walking Dead”) is 30.

TV anchor Diane Sawyer (“ABC World News”) is 68; Movie actor Ralph Fiennes (“Skyfall”) is 51; Pop singer Jordin Sparks (“No Air”) is 24.

• “Go Caroling Day”, a day to get together and sing out with friends, family, or a singing group. Nursing homes, hospitals and other places often welcome carolers if you call ahead.
• “International Human Solidarity Day”, a UN observance since 2005 to remind us of the importance of solidarity and the spirit of sharing in combatting poverty worldwide.
• “Sangria Day”, a day to put a little olé in your life with the traditional fruity wine punch named for the Spanish word ‘sangre’, which means blood.
• “Underdog Day”, the 37th annual on the 3rd Friday in December saluting all underdogs and unsung heroes, the ‘Number Twos’ who contribute so much to the ‘Number Ones’ that we always hear about: Sherlock Holmes’ Dr Watson, Robinson Crusoe’s Friday, Captain Kirk’s Mr Spock, etc. Ask listeners for other followers who’ve been under-appreciated.

• “Crossword Puzzle Day”, celebrating the 100th anniversary of the first ‘Crossword Puzzle’ being published in the “New York World” (1913). Arthur Wynne devised what he called a ‘Word-Cross’ for the Christmas edition, having no idea he would be starting a worldwide craze. That crude 1st puzzle contained the same word twice and 1 non-existent word (as far as we can determine). See if you can solve it here …
• “Homeless Persons Memorial Day”, observed since 1990 to bring attention to the tragedy of homelessness and to remember those who have paid the ultimate price for living on the street.
• “Humbug Day”, when 12 ‘humbugs’ are allowed to be uttered in order to vent the frustrations of preparing for the holidays.
• “Winter Solstice” as Winter officially arrives at 6:03 pm EST. That makes today the shortest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere. In conjunction, it’s “Flashlight Day”, a tongue-in-cheek commemoration of the year’s longest night; “Mumping Day” in England, traditionally when the poor go house-to-house begging for food; and in the Wicca religion it’s “Yule”, marking the Sun-God’s rebirth from the Earth Goddess (source of the ‘yule log’).

• “Capricorn the Goat” astrology sign begins (through January 20th). People born under the sign are said to be practical, disciplined, methodical, organized, cautious, and careful.
• “Haiku Poetry Day”, celebrating the unrhymed Japanese style of verse that’s written in 17 syllables divided into 3 lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables. A sampling for the season: Twelfth Day of Christmas / Shouldn’t have had all that nog / Drums are way too loud!

2009 [04] 32-year-old movie actress Brittany Murphy (“8 Mile”, “Clueless”) collapses and dies in her Hollywood Hills, California home after cardiac arrest

1952 [61] Jimmy Boyd’s “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” hits #1 on pop charts

1980 [33] 1st (and only) NFL telecast with NO announcers (as a stunt, NBC-TV uses only sounds and graphics for a meaningless NY Jets-Miami Dolphins game)

2007 [06] Queen Elizabeth II becomes Britain’s oldest-ever monarch, surpassing Queen Victoria’s lifespan of 81 years, 7 months, 29 days (on September 11, 2015 Elizabeth will overtake Victoria as longest-serving monarch … if she lives without abdicating until then)

[Mon] Festivus
[Tues] Christmas Eve
[Wed] Christmas Day (Christian)
[Wed] “47 Ronin”; “Grudge Match”; “Justin Bieber’s Believe”; “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty”; “The Wolf of Wall Street” open in movie theaters
[Thurs] Boxing Day (Canada/UK)
This Week Is … International Language Week
This Month Is … Safe Toys & Gifts Month


• People start to think there is something legitimately wrong with you if you are single.
• Your Facebook feed will be nothing but new baby pics.
• The clothes from your 20s now make you look like you are trying too hard.
• You have 2 camps of peers … those who workout and those who work.
• Your favorite foods will now wreak havoc on your insides.
• The classic rock station is now playing your high school playlist.
• You will now have divorced friends.
• Somehow you are now a person with answers.
• The only dancing you will do is at weddings and work parties.
• You wouldn’t go back to your 20s for a million bucks.
– Adapted from

☎ What’s the best day of the week for Christmas to fall on? This year’s midweek holiday makes the time-off policy tough for businesses to decide. Will you get extra days? Another downside for employers: Tuesday is usually the most productive day in the office. Not next week!

If you were given some ‘frumenty’ at a Medieval Christmas party, what would you be most likely to do with it?
a. Eat it. [CORRECT. It was a spiced porridge, the forerunner of modern Christmas puddings.]
b. Burn it.
c. Put it in your sweetheart’s hair.
d. Use it to polish your boots.

I work very hard. Please don’t expect me to think as well.

Question: Only 15% of polled people say they will do THIS during the holiday season.
Answer: Give their boss a gift.

If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a chance of being a prophet.

“The Bull Sheet” is on holiday hiatus from December 25th through January 3rd inclusive. Subscribers will receive credits for missed service days. If you’ve received an expiry notice, be sure to get your renewal in to ensure “BS” service in the new year.

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