Monday, December 21, 2015       Edition: #5597

Jingle Bull, Jingle Bull …

“The Bull Sheet” will be shutting down for the holidays from December 25th-January 3rd inclusive. All subscribers will be awarded account credits for missed service days. If you’ve received a renewal notice, be sure to re-subscribe to ensure service in 2016.

★ Groundbreaking LA rap act NWA is joining a quartet of 1970s-era FM radio rockers – Chicago, Cheap Trick, Deep Purple, and Steve Miller – as 2016 inductees into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. NWA was likely elected after 3 unsuccessful nominations, thanks in part to this year’s hit bio-movie about them, “Straight Outta Compton”. Both Miller and Cheap Trick made it in their first year on the ballot. The induction ceremony for the Cleveland OH-based hall is being held April 8th at Barclays Center in Brooklyn NY. HBO televises highlights later in the Spring.
★ Mark Wahlberg & Dwayne Johnson have been slapped with a lawsuit alleging they stole the idea for their HBO-TV series “Ballers”. Everette Silas & Sherri Littleton have filed suit, claiming they originated the idea of a show based around the sports industry called “Off Season” in 2007. The plaintiffs say they’d been working with Wahlberg, Johnson, and their management to develop the project but the deal fell apart in 2009 after Silas and Littleton insisted their names be listed in the credits for creating the series. They’re demanding unspecified damages.
★ Former Stone Temple Pilots frontman Scott Weiland died of accidental ‘mixed drug toxicity’, including cocaine, alcohol, and MDA, according to a Medical Examiner. The 48-year-old had a well documented struggle with drug abuse and was found dead on his tour bus in Bloomington, Minnesota on December 3rd. Meantime, it’s been announced that Tommy Black, a member of Weiland’s group The Wildabouts, will not be prosecuted for cocaine possession because authorities believe it would be difficult to prove he owned the cocaine found on the tour bus.
★ And models Kendall Jenner, Cara Delevingne, and Gigi Hadid can make as much as $300,000 from a single Instagram post. According to a report by “CR Fashion Book”, the last year has seen a drastic shift in the way once-anonymous catwalkers have the ability to create and control a personal brand that extends far beyond just looking good in clothes. Nowadays casting directors ask for models with over ‘x’ amount of followers on social media. And if they want to reach a model’s online audience, they have to pay a hefty additional fee. One insider notes that “a girl won’t get very far in 2016 if she’s not socially savvy”.

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Justin Bieber (“Purpose”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Rerun of the ‘Shopathon for World AIDS Day’ featuring Bono, The Killers, Snoop Dogg and others.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Goldroom (“It’s Like You Never Went Away”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Dead Sara (“Pleasure to Meet You). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Carly Simon (“Boys In the Trees”). Rerun.
• “Murdoch Mysteries: A Merry Murdoch Christmas” (CBC) – The long-running series’ 1st holiday episode features guest stars Ed Asner and Brendan Coyle (“Downton Abbey”).
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Christina Milian (“4U”). Rerun.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Seasonal special with a compilation of the funniest holiday sketches.
• “Today” (NBC) – Old Dominion (“Meat & Candy”) performs.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Adele (“25”).

• Adele – Around 10 million fans fought to buy tickets on Ticketmaster for her North American tour even though there were only 750,000 available. The duckets sold out shortly after going on sale Thursday, 4 days after she announced the tour that begins in July next year.
• The Beatles – Their music is set to finally become available on online streaming services. Sources tell the first tune to stream online will be “Hey Jude”, which is rumored to be hitting music platforms on Christmas Eve. Their back catalogue of studio albums is expected to follow soon afterward.
• Deadmau5 – He’s deleted all his social media accounts, announcing on his Facebook page: “F— social media. The only thing it’s useful for is promoting, advertising, and more advertising. As far as being a human being on social media, forget about it.”
• Justin Bieber – He’s set another UK chart record, becoming the first artist to spend 4 consecutive weeks at numbers 1 and 2 on the singles countdown. #1 “Love Yourself” replaced “Sorry”, which slid to #2. He also has “What Do You Mean?” hanging in on the top 10 at #5.
• Miley Cyrus – Word has it she won a $10,000-toilet … in a bet. How so? Miley was convinced “Wrecking Ball” would be a hit but producer Dr Luke wasn’t so sure. So he bet her a state-of- the-art commode (with Bluetooth receiver to stream music) that it wouldn’t reach #1.
• Nicki Minaj – She’s gone ahead and performed at a Christmas festival in Luanda, Angola on Saturday, ignoring pleas by protesters to cancel. The Human Rights Foundation urged her to scrap the gig, claiming Angolan president José Eduardo dos Santos abuses power by violating the basic rights of journalists, activists, and others who speak out against him.
• 2 Chainz – He wants a piece of the Atlanta Hawks. The rapper is a regular court-side fixture at Philips Arena, where the Hawks play home games, and says he’s such a big fan he’d love the opportunity to become a part-owner.

Beijing, China’s air pollution has gotten so bad that some residents are not only staying indoors and wearing masks, they’re buying … fresh air in cans. Vitality Air started up in 2014 after a Ziploc baggie of air was put up for sale on eBay and actually sold. Vitality Air employees began to trek out to the mountains around Banff and Lake Louise, Alberta, sit around with open bottles for 10 hours, and then head back to headquarters in Edmonton to package and mail the goods. They sell 7.7 liters, about 200 breaths of fresh air, for $32. Vitality Air’s China rep says the company has found a niche market in affluent Chinese women, who buy for their families and as gifts for friends.
PHONE: 780-802-0665

Apparently Tinder’s requirement that users swipe left to reject a profile and right to make a connection is just too demanding, prompting two 24-year-olds fresh out of the University of Southern Florida to unleash a new bot called ‘Casanova’ to do the heavy lifting for you. Users let ‘Casanova’ play pickup artist, connecting to one’s Tinder account, scanning profiles, and sending introductory messages to potential flings – sometimes using funny lines, sometimes romantic ones, all depending on the type of profile it judges the user to be. The developers decided to arm their bot with the kind of unfettered enthusiasm they felt most Tinder users lacked. (Sample pickup line: “You’re too pretty for Tinder. What are you doing here?”)

Brigham Young University researchers have found they can accurately predict when computer users are angry simply by tracking the way they move their mouse. A system has been developed that can spot frustrated users with 82% accuracy. It’s been found that the more angry and frustrated computer users are, the more slowly and sporadically they move their cursors. Using this technology, websites of the future may be able to sense what you’re feeling. And it’s thought this might enable web developers to fix online problems that consistently frustrate users. The scientists have already patented the technology and are working to extend it to touchscreens. (Will Siri soon sense your feelings as well as answer your questions?)

French law is aiming to crack down on too-skinny fashion models. Models hoping to walk Paris’ runways now need a doctor’s note. French lawmakers passed a law last week declaring models must obtain a medical certificate showing that their body mass index is healthy and compatible with the practice of the modeling profession before working jobs. Those who break the law could face 6 months in jail and an $82,000 fine. A 2nd law – to go into effect by January 2017 – dictates that any commercial image that’s been Photoshopped must be labeled ‘retouched photo’. (Some of those Chanel models are so skinny, they could tread water in a garden hose.)
– Agence France-Presse

A Seattle WA startup is betting $10K your marriage will tank. ‘SwanLuv’ will pay for your wedding but if your marriage fails you have to pay them back … with interest. Still, sounds like a good deal if you’re certain your marriage will last for eternity (or at least until that death clause kicks in). The company is opening up the service that it calls a ‘casino for marriages’ by February. Money eventually brought in by any doomed unions will be put toward paying for future weddings Of course, the company is trying to put a positive spin on the idea, claiming it’s promoting ‘everlasting marriage’. (This is also known as ‘bribery’.)

What part of a BLT do you think it’s hardest on the environment to produce? Hint: It’s not the meat. Producing lettuce causes over 3 times more greenhouse gas emissions than producing bacon, a new study has found. Lots of common vegetables require more resources per calorie than you would think. Eggplant, celery, and cucumbers look particularly bad when compared to pork or chicken. So not every plant product is more environmentally friendly than every meat product. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible to have an environmentally-friendly vegetarian diet. Onions, carrots, broccoli, and Brussels sprouts are some of the least-taxing foods to produce. (So try a BOC for lunch today.)
– “Scientific American”

More than $30 billion has been spent on “Star Wars” merchandise since 1977. And that apparently includes “Star Wars Condoms” …


1937 [78] Jane Fonda. NYC, movie actress (“The Butler”)/TV actress (“Grace & Frankie” 2015)

1948 [67] Samuel L Jackson, Washington DC, movie actor (“Django Unchained”, “Pulp Fiction”)  UP NEXT: “The Hateful Eight, opening wide January 1st.

1957 [58] Ray Romano, Queens NY, movie actor (“Ice Age” movies)/TV actor (“Parenthood” since 2012, “Everybody Loves Raymond” 1996-2005)

1966 [49] Kiefer Sutherland, London UK, TV actor (“24” 2001-10)/movie actor (“A Few Good Men”)  COMING UP: “Beat-Up Little Seagull” (2016).

1982 [33] Anna Bulbrook, LA CA, alt-rock musician (Airborne Toxic Event-“Changing”, “Sometime Around Midnight”)

1983 [32] Steven Yeun, Seoul, South Korea, TV actor (‘Glenn Rhee’ on “The Walking Dead” since 2010)

• “Crossword Puzzle Day”, celebrating the date in 1913 when the first ‘Crossword Puzzle’ was published in the “New York World”. Arthur Wynne devised what he called a ‘Word-Cross’ for the Christmas edition, having no idea he would be starting a worldwide craze.

• “French Fried Shrimp Day”, celebrating the joys of battered prawns. Mmm!
– Every shrimp is born male, then some mature into females.
– It takes 2 pounds of wild fish to produce 1 pound of farmed shrimp.
– Shrimp is the favorite seafood of North Americans.
– The ‘Pistol Shrimp’ can fire water like a bullet from its claw, producing an incredibly loud pop.
– The ‘Ghost Shrimp’ is transparent, and therefore practically invisible in the water.

• “Global Orgasm for World Peace”, the 9th annual attempt to join the world’s citizens in a simultaneous orgasm combined with thoughts of peace and love for all humanity. This solstice-synchronized celebration was initiated to ‘effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy’.

• “Homeless Persons Remembrance Day”, observed since 1990 to bring attention to the tragedy of homelessness and to remember those who have paid the ultimate price for living on the street.

• “Humbug Day”, when 12 ‘humbugs’ are allowed to be uttered in order to vent the frustrations of preparing for the holidays.

• “Short Girl Appreciation Day”, a salute to those of minimal stature on the shortest day of the year. At what height does a woman qualify as ‘short’?

• “Winter Solstice”, the shortest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, as Winter officially arrives at 11:48 pm EST. The solstice is celebrated in many ways …
– “National Flashlight Day”, a tongue-in-cheek commemoration of the year’s longest night.
– “Mumping Day” in England, traditionally when the poor go house-to-house begging for food.
– In the Wicca religion it’s “Yule”, marking the death of the Sun-God and his rebirth from the Earth Goddess. (Source of ‘Yule log’.)
– Iranians celebrate with “Yalda”, when fires and lights are lit and families stay up all night to help the Sun battle against darkness.
– The annual “Yukon International Storytellers Festival” features all-night music and stories in Whitehorse, Yukon.

2012 [03] The world is  purportedly scheduled to end according to the much-cited ‘Mayan Calendar’, despite the fact that experts state there were no Maya prophecies foretelling the end of the world on the date (part of the hype has been created by the 2009 movie “2012”)

2003 [12] A man who wants to share his stock market winnings with the public tosses the equivalent of $9,350 in small bills from the observation deck of a tower in Nagoya, Japan

[Tues] Date Nut Bread Day
[Tues] Haiku Poetry Day
[Wed] “The Big Short” opens in movie theaters
[Thurs] Christmas Eve
[Thurs] Egg Nog Day
[Fri] Christmas Day
[Fri] Full ‘Snow’ Moon

Halcyon Days / It’s About Time Week / Posadas


Highlight bits culled from 22 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Mall decorations covered in a layer of dust.
• Your husband finally asks, “So what would you like for Christmas?”
• Your tree is a lovely shade of brown.
• Bank machine keeps saying, “The requested cash withdrawal exceeds your account limit.”
• Christmas songs keep playing in your head … AND YOU JUST CAN’T STOP THEM!
– First published in “BS” 1994.

In a proposed new movie, the ‘Invisible Man’ is married to an invisible woman. And their kids are nothing to look at either …

☎ What is your earliest Christmas memory?

Question: 81% of people polled think members of THIS profession are honest, making it the most trusted of all in 2015.
Answer: Nursing.

One thing you can’t recycle is wasted time.

Natalie Price @ Dubai 92, Dubai UAE; Theresa Jamieson @ 89-5 The Lake [CJRL] Kenora ON; James Holley @ Country Legends 106.9 [KTPK] Topeka KS; Gary Melling @: Kiss FM Live, Gran Canaria, Canary Islands; Joyce Ellen Kotsos @ CJSF 90.1 FM Simon Fraser University, Burnaby BC; and and Joe Augustin @ Gold 905, Singapore.

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