Thursday, December 21, 2017 – Edition: #6024

Jingle Bull, Jingle Bull …

“The Bull Sheet” is shutting down for the holidays December 25th-January 1st inclusive. All subscribers will be awarded account credits for missed service days.  Following Dec. 22, the next edition of “BS” will be January 2, 2018. Thanks for a successful year of BS and Happy Holidays, all!

★ A return of “The Office” for the 2018-19 season is in the works at NBC but Steve Carell won’t be back as Michael Scott, according to multiple reports.  Apparently, if they pull it off, the series would be set at Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton, Pennsylvania branch and include a mix of new and old cast members.  Reports say that a search is underway to find a new actor to take over the role of the show’s lead,  the regional manager of the paper supply company.  Carell left the show after season 7, returning for the series finale in 2013.
(I hope they replace those flip-phones too!)
★ It’s a girl for Mindy Kaling!  “The Mindy Project” creator and star welcomed her first child — a daughter named Katherine — on Friday, Dec. 15, but word is just surfacing this week.  38 year-old Kaling’s pregnancy news first broke in July but it wasn’t confirmed until a very famous friend of the star spilled the beans: Oprah Winfrey.
★ T.J. Miller is the latest star to be accused of sexual misconduct.  Reports say that while in college at George Washington University in the early 2000s, the ‘Silicon Valley’ actor was accused of sexual assault. The accusations were reportedly addressed by a student court at the Washington, D.C., school.  Miller’s accuser, whose name hasn’t been released, was involved in a romantic relationship with him at the time of the alleged assaults.  Miller has denied the accusations.  Since that story surfaced, adult film star  Dana DeArmond has accused Miller and director Jordan Vogt-Roberts of sexual harassment while working on Comedy Central’s “Mash Up”.
★ Fuller House’s Jodie Sweetin, who plays Stephanie Tanner on the sitcom, has been ordered by a judge to pay her ex-husband #3 Morty Coyle $2,800 per month in child support for their seven-year-old daughter Beatrix. The ruling was due to the fact that Sweetin went from earning $48,000 annually to $600,000 in the span of a year.  They ended their 15-month marriage in September of last year.
(From $48K to $600K!  When someone asks you why they decided to bring back “Full House”…THAT’S why!)
★ Anna Kendrick fled to The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon after escaping from her 11th-story hotel room during a fire.  Prior to her appearance on the show, she was forced to evacuate The Whitby Hotel with only the clothes on her back. According to her, she was in her room when she smelled smoke.  Then the fire alarm went off.  She says:  “Well, normally I would ignore this, but I also smell smoke.”  She didn’t have a change of clothes, so she ended up wearing her track pants when they taped a performance of ‘Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)’ for the show.
★ Kevin Hart wants to star in a ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’ remake. Hart says he’d love a chance to remake the hit 1993 movie – which starred the late Robin Williams – after he was in this year’s ‘Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle’, after Williams starred in the original.  Hart says that he’ll “Stay on the Robin Williams train and say that if I could jump into ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’. That was a very amazing performance on both ends for him. I think that’s one I’d love to get to play in.”
(Ok, how about this? Can you see him yelling “Good Morning, Vietnam!!”??  I can!)
★ Heather North, best known for voicing Daphne Blake on the “Scooby-Doo” cartoon series, has died in California. She was 71.  North was first heard as Daphne in 1970 on the second-season opener of the Saturday morning hit “Scooby Doo, Where Are You!”.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Bono, Bryan Cranston, Alicia Keys, DJ Khaled ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jason Sudeikis, Amy Sedaris, Robert Kelly
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jon Stewart, Samantha Bee, John Oliver, Ed Helms, Rob Corddry ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Rebel Wilson, Joy Reid
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): James Franco, Dave Franco, Hanson ( R )
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Mel Gibson, John Lithgow, Jon Dore ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): NeNe Leakes ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Lisa Bloom ( R )
• “The Talk” (CBS): Fergie, Keltie Knight, guest co-hosts Michelle Williams & Mario Lopez ( R )
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kate Winslet, Jonathan Groff, a performance by the Radio City Rockettes
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kim Kardashian West, Imagine Dragons ( R )
• “A Charlie Brown Christmas” (ABC): The gang mounts a holiday pageant as Charlie Brown bemoans Yuletide commercialism.
• “CMA Country Christmas” (ABC): Reba McEntire hosts and performs on the eighth annual event, which also features Kelsea Ballerini, Luke Bryan, CB30, Dan + Shay, Brett Eldredge, Alan Jackson, Lady Antebellum, Little Big Town, Dustin Lynch, CeCe Winans, Trisha Yearwood and Chris Young.
• “A Saturday Night Live Christmas Special: (NBC): Holiday-themed comedy from “Saturday Night Live” is presented.
• “A Christmas Story 2” (CMT): This sequel to the holiday classic follows a teenage Ralphie’s efforts to pay for damaging the car of his dreams, while his father continues to wage war throughout the suburbs.

• Ed Sheeran – wants to be the composer of the theme for the next James Bond Movie… And he’s already finished the song.  He actually wrote the tune about three years ago, and has not  been approached to contribute.  But according to him: “I’ve had a theme tune written for about three years, just in case”.  He won’t reveal the title “cause someone might steal it”.
• Lady Gaga – says it is her “lifelong dream” to perform in Vegas.  She has signed on for a two-year residency at The Park Theater at MGM Resorts International, formerly known as the Monte Carlo, beginning next December.
• Mariah Carey – her holiday single ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ has made the Billboard top 10 for first time since its 1994 release. It currently sits at #9.
• Joe Jonas – is asking fans to donate money to his tour manager, Dan Lipski, who was injured in an accident in Thailand.  Jonas also asked for ‘love and prayers’ alongside a picture of Lipski that he posted to his Instagram and a link to a GoFundMe account.
• John Legend – has been cast in the title role on the ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ musical. It will differ from NBC’s previous musicals in that it will be presented as an actual concert with a live audience. It will air live on April 1 and as previously announced, will also feature Alice Cooper as King Herod.
• Led Zeppelin – Jimmy Page says there will be some previously unheard Zep music released next year to celebrate the band’s 50th anniversary.  Quote: “There’s all manner of surprises coming out.”
• Steven Tyler – will be hitting Calgary during the Stampede, playing the Cowboys Music Festival on July 11.  He will  be backed by The Loving Mary Band, with whom he toured last year to back his first solo album, the country-leaning ‘We’re All Somebody From Somewhere’.
• The Beatles – An original 7-inch copy of their debut single, ‘Love Me Do’ has sold for almost $15,000 through an online collectors’ site.  Experts say it is the most expensive “45″ ever sold.
• Luke Bryan – his latest album, “What Makes You Country” has scored him his fifth No. 1 debut on Billboard’s Top Country Albums chart, along with third-consecutive debut at No. 1 on the all-genre Billboard 200.
• Scott McCreery – will release ‘Seasons Change’, his first album in five years, on March 16.  He says that in that time, he has grown from a teenager to a man, and that shows up in the songs.

Going out for New Year’s?  Get ready to pay dearly.  Not only do the restaurants and bars make arrangements for ‘special’ evenings that you wind up paying for it well into the New Year, but now babysitters are getting in on the act as well.  The babysitting website ‘Urbansitter’ says that most sitters expect to be paid extra for working that evening.  The U.S. national average is about $15 per hour for one child.  But for New Year’s, that goes up.  Moms and Dads of one can expect to pay around $17.88 per hour.  Two kids?  Probably $20 an hour.  Live in a big city?  Even more.  The most expensive city is New York, where babysitting for 2 kids will set you back about $24 per hour.  Oh…and sitters also expect a few other things, like dinner, a ride home in a Uber, and maybe a tip to the tune of about 50 bucks.
(I expected to pay dearly but not until the next morning!)
(20 bucks an hour?  Plus a tip?  I guess It’s me and Ryan Seacrest for New Year’s!)
(Thank God for Grandma!)

I bet that you know someone who has cut themselves pretty nicely as the result of an avocado-slicing incident.  In fact, the term ‘avocado hand’ is now (sort-of) an accepted medical term.  It could become a thing of the past, though, with the introduction of the “cocktail avocado”.  They look sort of like a small cucumber, but have many of the traits of a common avocado, WITHOUT that dangerous pit that causes all the problems.  How do they taste?  Apparently pretty good, if you avoid the skin.  The cocktail avocados are lighter, more watery and a bit sweeter  than their larger cousins.  Unfortunately, they only grow in Spain, and they’re only available in December.  Normally, they are reserved for chefs, to be used in top-end restaurants, but a small number have been made available in UK grocery stores this year, and you know they plan to sell a lot more next year.
(If the people who are interested can still pick one up!)
(They taste just like regular avocados…minus the taste of blood!)
-NewYorkPost, NPR

1)  How to make slime
2)  How to make solar eclipse glasses
3)  How to buy Bitcoin
4)  How to watch Mayweather vs McGregor
5)  How to make a fidget spinner
6)  How to watch the solar eclipse
7)  How to freeze your credit
8)  How to play Powerball
9)  How to screen record
10)  How to lose belly fat fast
(Sorry about that last one.  My fault.)


1937 [80] Jane Fonda. NYC, movie actress (“The Butler”)/TV actress (“Grace & Frankie” since 2015)

1948 [69] Samuel L Jackson, Washington DC, movie actor (“Pulp Fiction”, “Django Unchained”)

1950 [67] Kay Robertson, West Monroe LA, reality star (“Duck Dynasty” 2012-2017)

1957 [60] Ray Romano, Queens NY, movie actor (“Ice Age” movies)/TV actor (“Parenthood”  2012-15, “Everybody Loves Raymond” 1996-2005

1965 [52] Andy Dick, Charleston SC, TV actor (“2 Broke Girls” 2013-2016, “Newsradio” 1995-1999)

1966 [51] Kiefer Sutherland, London UK, TV actor (‘Tom Kirkman’ on “Designated Survivor” 2016-present, “24″ 2001-10)/movie actor (“A Few Good Men”)

1983 [33] Steven Yeun, Seoul, South Korea, TV actor (‘Glenn Rhee’ on “The Walking Dead” 2010-2016)

• “Crossword Puzzle Day”, celebrating the date in 1913 when the first ‘Crossword Puzzle’ was published in the “New York World”. Arthur Wynne devised what he called a ‘Word-Cross’ for the Christmas edition, blissfully unaware he was starting a worldwide craze.

• “French Fried Shrimp Day”, celebrating the joys of battered prawns. Mmm!

• “Homeless Persons Remembrance Day”, observed since 1990 to bring attention to the tragedy of homelessness and to remember those who have paid the ultimate price for living on the street.

• “Humbug Day”, when 12 ‘humbugs’ are allowed to be uttered in order to vent the frustrations of preparing for the holidays.

• “Short Girl Appreciation Day”, a salute to those of minimal stature on the shortest day of the year. At what height does a woman qualify as ‘short’?

• “Winter Solstice”, the shortest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, as Winter officially arrives at 11:29 am EST. The solstice is celebrated in many ways …
– “Blue Christmas”, also called “Longest Night” in the Western Christian tradition, is a day in the Advent season marking the longest night of the year.
– “Flashlight Day”, a tongue-in-cheek commemoration of the year’s longest night.
– In the Wicca religion it’s “Yule”, marking the death of the Sun-God and his rebirth from the Earth Goddess. (Source of the ‘Yule log’.)
– Iranians celebrate with “Yalda”, when fires and lights are lit and families stay up all night to help the Sun battle against darkness.
– The annual “Yukon International Storytellers Festival” features all-night music and stories in Whitehorse, Yukon.
(Just 88 days until Spring!)

[Fri] Abilities Day
[Fri] National Date Nut Bread Day
[Sat] Festivus
[Sat] National Roots Day

2012 [05] The world is purportedly scheduled to end, according to the much-cited ‘Mayan Calendar’, despite the fact that experts state there were no Maya prophecies foretelling the end of the world on the date (part of the hype was created by the 2009 movie “2012″)

2014 [03] “The Battle Of the Five Armies”, last film in “The Hobbit” series, exceeds box office expectations by grossing over $90 million in its first 5 days of release

2014 [03] Elton John & David Furnish formally convert their civil partnership into a marriage, hosting a ceremony at their estate in Berkshire UK (guests include David & Victoria Beckham, and Ed Sheeran)

2012 [05] “Gangnam Style” by South Korean musician Psy becomes the 1st YouTube video to reach a billion views (by the end of 2012, the song tops charts in over 30 countries, the video currently stands at over 3 billion views)


✓ All the gifts in the Twelve Days of Christmas added together would equal 364.
✓ The Germans made the first artificial Christmas trees out of dyed goose feathers.
✓ The tallest Christmas tree ever cut was a 221-foot Douglas fir that was displayed in 1950 at the Northgate Shopping Center in Seattle, Washington.
✓ According to data analyzed from Facebook posts, two weeks before Christmas is one of the two most popular times for couples to break up. However, Christmas Day is the least favorite day for breakups.
✓ Tiny Tim in Charles Dickens’ classic story ‘A Christmas Carol’ was almost named “Little Fred.”
✓ Norwegian scientists have hypothesized that Rudolph’s red nose is probably the result of a parasitic infection of his respiratory system.

• “Discovery Channel Presents: ‘Elf Autopsy’”
• “‘Twas 243 Nights Before Christmas”
• “Frosty, the Anatomically Correct Snowman”
• “The Grinch Who Sold Christmas on eBay”
• “The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t, Due to Santa’s Urinary Tract Infection”
• “Let’s See What Burl Ives Looks Like Now!”
-First published in BS in 2016

• Remove gift from bag. Now remove cat from bag.
• Open box to check gift. Now remove cat from box, replace gift.
• Smooth out gift wrap, realize cat is underneath it and remove cat.
• Toss out first sheet of wrap as cat has chased the scissors and torn the paper.
• Place gift on paper to hold in place while tearing transparent tape.
• Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent tape from cat with nail scissors.
• Look for a length of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve ribbon.
• When finished, put gift and all wrapping materials in locked closet.
• Discover cat has somehow also gotten into closet and already torn gift paper.
• Begin again at step 1.
• Upon completion, spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion.
• Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
• Go to store and buy a gift bag.
– Adapted from

When you stop believing in Santa, you get underwear.

☎ What’s one thing you’re excited about that’s coming up in 2018?

Question:  In a survey, over 80% of men said they hate this most about the holidays, what is it?
Answer:  Wrapping gifts!

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.

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