Wednesday, December 22, 2010        Edition: #4413
Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Today looney-tunes actor Randy Quaid is scheduled for a pre-hearing before the Immigration & Refugee Board in Vancouver to state his case for sanctuary in Canada (he & equally weird wife Evi claim they’re being hunted by the ‘Hollywood star whackers’) . . . The official premiere of Broadway’s “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark” has now been pushed back another month to February 7th, the delay being announced just as another actor has been injured in a fall during a preview performance and taken to hospital (the 4th reported injury since October) . . . Billy Ray & Tish Cyrus have put their family home in LA on the market just 3 months after their split, listing the Toluca Lake estate at $7 million-plus (first we find out Miley’s a druggie – now she’s homeless!) . . . Actor Leonardo DiCaprio is Hollywood’s biggest box office draw of 2010, according to a new “Forbes” ranking, with his movies raking in $1.1 billion at the global box office (and earning him at least $50 million for “Inception” alone) . . . 88-year-old actress Betty White has been named AP’s ‘Entertainer Of the Year’ (her response: “It’s ridiculous”) . . . 42-year-old TV actor Tracy Morgan will be noticeably absent from at least 2 (now-taping) episodes of “30 Rock” (NBC) in March, because he’s currently recovering from a kidney transplant (co-star Grizz Champan also got a new kidney earlier this year – something contagious?) . . . Threats against Lindsay Lohan have reportedly gotten so serious, her people have contacted the FBI (because rehab stories just aren’t generating much publicity anymore) . . . And “Community” (NBC) actress Gillian Jacobs (‘Britta’) has revealed that co-worker Chevy Chase (‘Pierce’) has given the entire cast the same strange holiday gift – a cat urine detector (and you thought your ‘Secret Santa’ gave you crap!).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Crystal Bowersox (“Farmer’s Daughter”).
• “CMA Country Christmas” (ABC) – Rerun of special that aired November 29. Jennifer Nettles (Sugarland) hosts as a slew of country artists (Brad Paisley, Darius Rucker, Little Big Town, Martina McBride, Rascal Flatts, Reba McEntire, Sheryl Crow) perform.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Jimmie Vaughan (“Plays Blues, Ballads & Favorites”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Taylor Swift “(Speak Now”).
• “A Home For the Holidays” (CBS) – The 12th annual hour-long special to raise awareness of foster care and adoption. Performers include Jimmy Wayne, Katy Perry, Melissa Etheridge, Maroon 5, Nelly, and Ricky Martin.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Brad (“Best Friends?”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Walkmen (“Lisbon”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Jose Feliciano (“Feliz Navidad”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Grace Potter & The Nocturnals (“Grace Potter & The Nocturnals”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – “Holiday Flashback Special”, featuring a 1998 performance by *NSYNC.
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – will.i.am (Black Eyed Peas).
• “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated/CTV) – Susan Boyle (“The Gift”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – El DeBarge (“Second Chance”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – The 27-year-old Brit singer has been paid $1.5 million by an unnamed Russian for performing for a 2-hour show in Moscow. It’s her first full performance in 2 years.
• Katy Perry – She says she’s looking forward to creating her own Christmas traditions with new husband Russell Brand, which will include a pink Christmas tree and a tofu-urkey.
• Rascal Flatts – They’re teaming with Justin Bieber to record a track for his next album. Bieber will head to Nashville in the next few months to record the vocals.
• Shania Twain – The 45-year-old has apparently been engaged to 40-year-old Frederic Thiebaud of Switzerland for several months after he surprised her with a 3-carat solitaire diamond ring. Twain’s producer-husband Mutt Lange left her in 2008 for another woman, Thiebaud’s then-wife Marie-Anne.
• Taylor Swift – She & Jake Gyllenhaal have been voted ‘Hottest Celebrity Hook-Up of 2010’ in an online poll by gossip website X17Online.
• U2 – In a new interview in Australia, Bono has admitted he can be a ‘pain in the arse’. Quote: “I have an annoying gene; it’s in my DNA. I even annoy myself.”

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Country Strong” ( Limited Release PG-13 Drama ): Garrett Hedlund (“TRON: Legacy”) plays a rising country-music songwriter who collaborates with a fallen star (Gwyneth Paltrow) to plan her comeback. Tim McGraw plays her husband-manager; Leighton Meester (“Gossip Girl”) plays a beauty queen-turned-singer. Shot in Nashville TN.
NET: http://countrystrong-movie.com
•  “Little Fockers” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Ben Stiller, Teri Polo, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, and Barbra Streisand return for this follow-up to “Meet the Parents” (2000) and “Meet the Fockers” (2004). This time the story centers around a birthday party for the ‘Focker’ twins indicated in the title. Said to be the final chapter in the ‘Focker’ saga. Co-stars Jessica Alba, Owen Wilson.
NET: http://www.littlefockers.net
• “True Grit” ( PG-13 Western Adventure ): The Coen Bros’ recycling of the 1969 John Wayne movie bears little resemblance to the original. Oscar-winner Jeff Bridges (“Crazy Heart”) plays a tough US Marshal recruited by a stubborn young woman (Hailee Steinfeld) to track down the man who killed her father. Co-stars Matt Damon, Josh Brolin.
NET: http://www.truegritmovie.com

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
• “Avatar 2” – 34-year-old actor Sam Worthington (‘Jake Sully’) has confirmed that work has begun on a follow-up to the all-time greatest movie blockbuster ($2.8 billion). Producer/director James Cameron is currently writing a book on which to base the script. The plan is to have 2 follow-up movies, the first due in December 2014.
• “I Don’t Know How She Does It” – This  2011 comedy about a woman trying to balance home and work life has attracted quite the cast. Sarah Jessica Parker (“Sex & The City”) will star alongside Christina Hendricks (“Mad Men”), Kelsey Grammar (ex-“Frasier”),  Olivia Munn (“The Daily Show”), Pierce Brosnan (“The Ghost Writer”), and Seth Meyers (“Saturday Night Live”).
• “The Lost Symbol” – Mega-selling author Dan Brown has taken over writing duties on the film adaptation of his most recent novel, which sold over a million copies in its first day when it was published in 2009. This time the story has Brown’s regular protagonist, ‘Robert Langdon’ (previously played by Tom Hanks), getting mixed up with Freemasons. The film’s due in 2012.
• “Skulduggery Pleasant” – The first bigscreen treatment of the 9-book fantasy series by Irish author Derek Landy is due in 2013. 47-year-old Johnny Depp is being lined up to play the titular skeleton wizard who leads a 12-year-old girl into a magical world. The movie is intended to be the first of a series.
• “Torrente” – Brit actor Sacha Baron Cohen is in talks to star in an English-language remake of this highly successful Spanish film series about a loose cannon former policeman who is fired by his local force but sees it as his mission to keep patrolling the neighbourhood anyway. The premise, created by Spanish comedian Santiago Segura, has already spawned 4 films.

BEST & WORST MOVIES OF 2010:
According to a new ranking by NBC-TV’s “Today”, these are the finest flicks of the year …
5. “Inception”
4. “Never Let Me Go”
3. “The Fighter”
2. “Winter’s Bone”
1. “Black Swan”
And these are the worst …
5. “The Wolfman”
4. “Alice in Wonderland”
3. “Legion”
2. “Grown Ups”
1. “The Bounty Hunter”
– MSNBC.msn.com

DOFFING OUR CAPS?
The new Google Cr-48 notebook doesn’t have the standard ‘Caps Lock’ key you see on other keyboards. Is this the beginning of the end of the ‘Caps Lock’? It had its uses back in the olden days as some of the earliest computers were used to input product keys and other strings of letters and numbers that often included all caps. And some of the first programming languages, like FORTRAN and Basic, were composed entirely in caps. But by the 21st century, ‘Caps Lock’ had become pretty much outdated as modern-day computing doesn’t require nearly as much capitalization. (Nowadays the most-common ‘Caps Lock’ users are those making enraged comments on blogs.)
– Slate.com

BS BUZZWORDS:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Capture Rate’ – The percentage of used materials actually recovered from a household or business for recycling.
• ‘Sloppy Payer’ – A person who is careless about paying bills and repaying debts.
• ‘The Zipper Club’ – A group for people who have had successful open heart surgery.

LAPTOP TV STILL NOT HERE:
Why is it we still can’t watch live TV online? The simplified answer is that the various media companies have a financial stake in where and how an episode of “Mad Men”, for instance, is viewed. Coming to an agreement over streaming live video is no quick task. In addition to the cable & satellite providers, broadcast networks have their own contracts to honor, as do sports leagues. Networks must weigh the trade-off between sacrificing viewers on one medium (TV) for another (web) and also risk straining their lucrative relationships with cable TV companies. (So the real reason: It’s all about the bottom line, not technology.)
– CNN.com

FOR THE RECORD:
• A dog in Ebereschenhof, Germany has given birth to … 17 puppies! Owner Ramona Wegemann says she was thrilled at first, but is now exhausted after barely sleeping for several weeks as she had to bottle feed them because their mother couldn’t cope with the demand.
The 8 female & 9 male Rhodesian Ridgeback pups are now up for sale at 1,000 euros (circa $1,300) apiece.
– AP
• 28-year-old Levi LaVallee of Longville, Minnesota has jumped a snowmobile an incredible 361 feet while preparing for his “Red Bull New Year No Limits” world record attempt in San Diego CA. Unfortunately, he was injured shortly afterward and the December 31st event has had to be shelved. However, as the 361-foot jump eclipsed the existing record by 60 feet, it will be submitted for world record certification.
– SkateboardingMagazine.com

BS SHOCKING FACT:
Having a mother who lives within 1,000 feet of a freeway while pregnant doubles a child’s odds of having autism. That finding comes from a new University of Southern California study looking at environmental factors that might play a role in autism.
– WebMD Health News

BS CHRONOMETER 12.22.10

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [65] Diane Sawyer, Glasgow KY, TV news anchor (“ABC World News” since 2009, “Good Morning America” 1999-2009, “20/20” 1998-2000, “60 Minutes” 1984-89)

1949 [61] Robin Gibb, Isle of Man, oldies singer (Bee Gees-“Stayin’ Alive”, “I Started a Joke”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1997)

1962 [48] Ralph Fiennes (‘fanes’), Suffolk UK, movie actor (“Harry Potter” films, “Schindler’s List”)/stage actor (Tony Award-“Hamlet”)

1989 [21] Jordin Sparks, Phoenix AZ, pop singer (w/Chris Brown-“No Air”, “Tattoo)/”American Idol 6” winner (2007)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Capricorn the Goat” astrology sign begins. People born under the sign are said to be practical, disciplined, methodical, organized, cautious, and careful.

• “Haiku Poetry Day”, celebrating the unrhymed Japanese style of verse that’s written in 17 syllables divided into 3 lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables. A sampling for the season: Twelfth Day of Christmas / Shouldn’t have had all that nog / Drums are way too loud!

• “International Arbor Day”. What a great time of year to honor trees … just as we’re slaughtering them and dragging them into our homes!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1980 [30] Stiff Records releases an album entitled “The Wit & Wisdom of Ronald Reagan”, which contains absolutely no sound

2006 [04] “Night At the Museum”, starring Ben Stiller, opens in movie theaters

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1990 [20] Pearl Jam performs for the 1st time, using the name ‘Mookie Blaylock’ as the opening act for Alice in Chains in Seattle WA

2000 [10] 42-year-old Madonna & 32-year-old movie director Guy Ritchie wed at Skibo Castle in the highlands of Scotland (Ritchie later gets $76 million in the 2008 divorce)

2002 [08] Joe Strummer, lead singer of legendary British punk band The Clash, dies in Broomfield, England at age 50

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2001 [09] Richard Reid attempts to destroy a passenger airliner by igniting explosives hidden in his shoes aboard American Airlines Flight 63 (the single reason you often now have to remove your shoes at airport security)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Roots Day
[Fri] Christmas Eve
[Sat] Christmas Day
[Sun] Boxing Day (Australia, Canada, NZ, UK)
[Sun] Candy Cane Day
[Sun] Thank-You Note Day
[Sun] Whiners Day
This Week Is … Las Posadas
This Week Is … Make a New Year’s Resolution to Stop Smoking Month

BULL’S BITS

BS TOY DISCLAIMERS:
• “No Zhu Zhus or Pets Were Harmed in the Manufacture of This Product.”
• “Warning: This Toy Produces Substantially Less Childish Glee in Real Life Than it Does In the TV Commercial.”
• “Caution: Some Dismemberment May Occur.”
• “In Case of Breakage, Scream Until Dad Buys a Replacement.”
• “The Makers Assume No Responsibility For the Lame-Ass Movie Based On This Toy.”
• “Some Assembly Required. Engineering Degree Recommended.”
• “Warning: This Fad Will Disappear Within 6 Weeks.”

BS PHONE STARTER:
Which is better: a fake Christmas tree or a real tree?
• Fake: Folds back in the box on the 26th, Christmas done. Real: Still picking pine needles off the couch in June.
• Fake: Metal, plastic, and wire. Real tree: Bugs, snow, and bear poop.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
We were given a fruitcake last year that I’m fairly sure was dishwasher-safe.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Perhaps surprisingly, 33% of men do THIS every day, compared to just 26% of women.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Gossip. (Social Issues Research Center)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Today is the last day of your life so far.