Tuesday, December 22, 2015        Edition: #5598


Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Actor Jamie Parker will be replacing Daniel Radcliffe as ‘Harry Potter’ onstage. Author JK Rowling announced in June she was working on a 2-part production titled “Harry Potter & The Cursed Child”. The play is set 19 years after the events of “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows” and focuses on ‘Albus’, son of ‘Harry’ and wife ‘Ginny Weasley’, as he starts school at ‘Hogwarts’. The show opens for previews on June 7th next year at London’s Palace Theatre.
– WENN.com
★ The Kardashians did much for LGBT acceptance in 2015, so why are rumors swirling that the klan is pressuring one of the family members to keep quiet about their sexual orientation? Maybe they’re just trying to save some headlines for 2016?
–PopBitch.com
★ Last year he was fired from SiriusXM for a string of ‘racially charged and hate-filled’ tweets. Now Anthony Cumia is facing new troubles after a domestic violence incident at his Long Island NY home. The 54-year-old former co-host of the syndicated “Opie & Anthony” radio show has been arrested on charges of assault, strangulation, criminal mischief, and unlawful imprisonment. Police say he’d been involved in an argument with his 26-year-old girlfriend. His attorney says: “Things are not always what they appear to be.” Right.
– NBC News
★ A number of musicians have covered “I Love You All the Time” by Eagles of Death Metal for the Play It Forward campaign. Led by Josh Homme, all proceeds from the covers will go to the family members of those killed in the November 13th terrorist attack at the Bataclan in Paris. Florence + The Machine, Kings of Leon, Jimmy Eat World, and My Morning Jacket are among those who’ve already released covers. Pearl Jam will soon offer a live version on its website.
– FMQB.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – El Vy (The National). Rerun.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Tori Kelly (“Unbreakable Smile”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Gary Clark Jr (“The Story of Sonny Boy Slim”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Shlohmo (“Dark Red”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – My Morning Jacket (“The Waterfall”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – CeeLo Green (“Heart Blanche”).
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Johnny Reid (“Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”).
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Gladys Knight (“Where My Heart Belongs”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Alanis Morissette (“Jagged Little Pill Collector’s Edition”). Rerun.
• “Taraji & Terrence’s White Hot Holidays” (FOX) – “Empire” stars Taraji P Henson and Terrence Howard host a special featuring contemporary performances of seasonal songs by Mary J Blige, Jamie Foxx, and John Legend among others. Rerun.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Jeff Lynne’s ELO (1970s band Electric Light Orchestra). Rerun.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) –  Brandy Norwood (“Two Eleven”). Rerun.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – Her “25″ is again atop today’s new ‘Billboard Top 200′ all-genre album chart. It’s now been #1 for 4 straight weeks.
• Ariana Grande – A portion of proceeds from her surprise new EP of holiday music titled “Christmas & Chill” is being donated to the nonprofit Toys For Tots.
• Brantley Gilbert – He’s rescheduling the European leg of his “Black Out Tour” for early May next year. He postponed several shows in November following the Paris terrorist attacks.
• Ed Sheeran – His acclaimed album “x” has just been certified 2x Multi-Platinum by the RIAA, commemorating sales of 2 million in the United States alone.
• Mariah Carey – She’s set to ring in 2016 Down Under with a performance at a casino owned by her boyfriend James Packer. She’ll serenade around 1,200 fans during a one-off concert at the Crown Casino & Entertainment Complex in Melbourne, Australia.
• One Direction – Is former member Zayn Malik dating model Gigi Hadid? Rumors have been swirling for weeks and it seems the relationship may have just been confirmed as Zayn has shared his first selfie of the pair together on Instagram. Wouldn’t that be an ‘us-ie’?
• Pink Floyd – Roger Waters’ estranged wife Laurie Durning has called him an ‘ass—’ in court, demanding he return her $30,000 Rolex watch. The uproar in Manhattan court has threatened to derail their multi-million-dollar divorce settlement at the last minute. Waters is said to have responded by shrugging his shoulders.
• Reba McEntire – She’s just confirmed on Facebook that her divorce from Narvel Blackstock was finalized in late October after 26 years of marriage. She and her manager-husband publicly announced their separation in August.
• Taylor Swift – What’s she going to do now that she’s wrapped her “1989 World Tour”? Quote: “I want to learn CPR. Maybe a mixology class. I want to learn how to, like, make a good drink. Maybe I’ll just eat carbs and nothing else for the next couple of months. I don’t have to wear any crop tops.”

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Out today on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Dragon Blade” ( R-Rated Action Adventure ): In this historical epic, John Cusack & Adrien Brody play Roman soldiers lost in China during the Han Dynasty. Jackie Chan co-stars as a Chinese commander. The film is inspired by the true story of a missing legion of Roman soldiers that traveled to China in 48 BC.
• “Pan” ( PG Fantasy Adventure ): How ‘Peter’ became ‘Pan’ is given the bigscreen treatment in this re-imagining of the JM Barrie story. As a 12-year-old orphan ‘Peter’ is spirited away to the magical world of ‘Neverland’ where he ultimately discovers his destiny. Stars Hugh Jackman, Garrett Hedlund, Rooney Mara.

CAT-MAN SAYS HE’S FIGURED OUT FELINE LONGEVITY:
85-year-old Jake Perry’s cats seem to live a long life as well. One of them – Granpa Rexs Allen, who lived to be 34 – broke the Guinness World Record for oldest cat in 1998. 7 years later, his kitty Crème Puff topped that record, living to be 38. Plenty more of his cats have made it to at least 30. He’s shared some of his secrets for feline longevity …
• A breakfast of eggs, turkey bacon, broccoli and … coffee with cream.
• A splash of red wine to ‘circulate the arteries’.
• Stimulation by way of nature documentaries screened in his garage-turned-theater.
• Lots of love and attention.
Perry’s vet notes that the science behind Perry’s regimen for his cats is ‘shaky at best’. (One thing that won’t help cats live longer … making them walk on aluminum foil.)
– AtlasObscura.com

HAVING WORDS:
Good news, potty mouths: You’re smarter than those who don’t swear. People who curse have a better vocabulary, according to a new Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts study that looked at the common thinking that people swear only because they don’t have the words to express themselves otherwise. Not true, as it turns out. Cursers tend to understand ‘nuanced distinctions’ in their language, which indicates increased vocabulary overall, the study concludes. That would seem to mean the ability to generate off-color language is not directly related to poor language ability. (What a f—ing erudite treatise!)
– PostMedia

BIKERETTES:
More women are riding high on the hog than ever … literally. A new survey by the Motorcycle Industry Council has found that females now make up 14% of motorcycle owners, and the women who ride are younger, more educated, and more into motorcycle safety than their male counterparts. That’s a significant jump from the 8% reported in 1998. Women’s reasons for revving up? According to a recent survey: “Fun and recreation”, “a sense of freedom”, and “enjoying the outdoors” are the top motivators. (Plus not having to hang on for your life on the back seat.)
– “Los Angeles Times”

HOLIDAY HANGOVER HINTS:
• Drink lots of vegetable or fruit juice containing  fructose, which speeds up the breakdown of alcohol.
– “Before You Call the Doctor”
• Place a cold compress on your forehead and put your feet in a tub of hot water.
– Naturopathic Practitioner Cathy Rogers
• Take 2 tablets of activated charcoal before bedtime.
– UCLA Medical Research

MARIAH PARIAH:
Last week someone recorded Mariah Carey’s Christmas classic “All I Want For Christmas Is You” via MIDI – a simple way to record digital sound – and posted it on Tumblr. A lot of listeners swore that Mariah’s voice still seemed to be there, even though it shouldn’t be. The MIDI music standard is so basic it can’t capture the human voice or any other real instrument. Psychologists say it’s an example of what they call ‘top-down processing’, when the brain uses information it already has to try to understand the world around it. That can cause people to hear words or melodies that aren’t there. (In other words, you’ve hear the damn tune so many times it’s stuck in your brain.)
– NewScientist.com

NIGHTMARE POSITIONS:
According to a Sleep Quality Index study, just 15% of right-side sleepers report having bad dreams, compared to 41% of their lefty counterparts. Right-side sleepers also report more dreams with feelings of safety or relief. A related study that analyzes the sleep positions and dreams of close to 700 participants has found that face-down sleepers have more positive and vivid dreams. And they are more often about sex. The takeaway: It can’t hurt to roll your loved one over when you sense a nightmare coming on. (Assuming you can avoid the flailing arms.)
– VanWinkles.com

FOR THE RECORD:
“Star Wars: The Force Awakens” has shattered domestic box office records and final figures show it’s also set the worldwide record for an opening weekend. It’s $529 million worldwide opening weekend box office puts it just ahead of “Jurassic World”, which opened in June this year with $525 million.
– Box Office Mojo

BS AMAZING FACT:
Most people who were dollar billionaires in 1995 aren’t billionaires any more.
– Bloomberg News

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
“The Bull Sheet” will be shutting down for the holidays from December 25th-January 3rd inclusive. All subscribers will be awarded account credits for missed service days. If you’ve received a renewal notice, be sure to re-subscribe to ensure service in 2016.

BS CHRONOMETER 12.22.15


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1962 [53] Ralph Fiennes, Suffolk UK, movie actor (“The Grand Budapest Hotel”, “Harry Potter” films)/stage actor (Tony Award-”Hamlet”)

1989 [26] Jordin Sparks, Phoenix AZ, pop singer (w/Chris Brown-”No Air”, “Tattoo)/”American Idol 6″ winner (2007)

1993 [22] Meghan Trainor, Nantucket MA, pop singer (w/Charlie Puth-”Marvin Gaye”, “All About That Bass”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Abilities Day”, honoring disabled people and their care-givers. It is also a time to recognize that we all have abilities and disabilities of various kinds.

• “Capricorn the Goat” astrology sign begins and runs through January 20th. People born under the sign are said to be practical, disciplined, methodical, organized, cautious, and careful.

• “Date Nut Bread Day”, celebrating the rich loaf that is moist and delicious and great toasted for breakfast. Sort of like Christmas cake, only with half the weight.

• “Haiku Poetry Day”, celebrating the unrhymed Japanese style of verse that’s written in 17 syllables divided into 3 lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables. A sampling for the season: Twelfth Day of Christmas / Shouldn’t have had all that nog / Drums are way too loud!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [09] “Night At the Museum”, starring Ben Stiller, opens in movie theaters (spawns 2 sequels)

2007 [08] Late night TV talk show host Jimmy Fallon weds producer Nancy Juvonen

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2002 [13] Joe Strummer, lead singer of legendary Brit punk band The Clash, dies in Broomfield, England at age 50 of an undiagnosed congenital heart defect

2014 [01] English singer Joe Cocker (“With a Little Help From My Friends”, “Up Where We Belong”) dies of lung cancer at age 70 in Crawford, Colorado

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] “The Big Short” opens in movie theaters
[Wed] Human Light Celebration
[Thurs] Egg Nog Day
[Fri] Full ‘Snow’ Moon
This Week Is … Halcyon Days
This Month Is … Safe Toys & Gifts Month

BULL’S BITS


MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Why is it called ‘lipstick’ if you can still move your lips?
• Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• Are part-time orchestra leaders semi-conductors?
• Why does the other line always move faster?
• Does the iPhone replace your laptop too … or just your family?

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the worst Christmas song of all-time? Here’s one ranking …
5. Cyndi Lauper – “Christmas Conga”
4. Miss Piggy – “I’m the Christmas Queen”
3. Kenny Rogers & Wynonna Judd – “Mary, Did You Know”
2. John Denver – “Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)”
1. Elmo & Patsy – “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
It’s estimated more than half of us will re-gift something this holiday season. Which is the most re-gifted item according to a poll?
a. Scarves.
b. Socks. [CORRECT]
c. Underwear.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The only way to have safe sex is to abstain … from drinking.

NAME THE COUNTRY QUIZ:
• In which country would it be bad etiquette to send red Christmas cards … New Zealand, Japan, or Cuba? [Japan, since funeral notices there are customarily printed in red.]
• In which country do kids anxiously await “Grandfather Frost”, who shows up with Christmas goodies on January 1st … Russia, Sweden, or Iceland? [Russia, where Santa is known as D'yed Moroz.]
• In what country did the real St Nicholas live … Sweden, Latvia, or Turkey? [He was bishop of the Turkish town of Myra in the early 4th century.]
• Which country celebrates Christmas with fireworks … China, Taiwan, or Brazil? [Brazil.]
• What country was “Good King Wenceslas” from … Scotland, Czech Republic, or Germany? [He was a 10th century duke who later became the patron saint of Czechoslovakia.]

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: When it comes to ‘small talk’ a poll says the #1 topic is food, followed by THIS.
Answer: Fitness & exercise.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Follow your dreams, except for that one where you’re naked at work.


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