Friday, December 22, 2017 – Edition: #6025

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
“The Bull Sheet” is shutting down for the holidays December 25th-January 1st inclusive. All subscribers will be awarded account credits for missed service days.  Following THIS ISSUE, the next edition of “BS” will be January 2, 2018. Thanks for a successful year of BS and Happy Holidays, all!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Floyd Mayweather is shooting down the possibility of a UFC fight…but leaving the door open just a crack.  It’s confusing — but the takeaway is that Mayweather is making it clear that he has NOT signed a deal with UFC President Dana White.   After White told ESPN he’s “talking to Floyd” about a potential MMA deal — Floyd said, “I’m not doing it.”  But in the same breath, he bragged about how much money he could make with the UFC and added, “We just don’t know what the future holds for Floyd Mayweather.” And as White said, “Mayweather vs. McGregor…happened. Anything is possible.” World champ Tyron Woodley has already offered to train Mayweather.
-TMZ
★ Adam Levine is reportedly be taking a year off from ‘The Voice’.  Levine has been serving as a judge on the popular talent show since 2011, but it appears he could be set to take a break from the program to spend more time with his wife Behati Prinslo, who is pregnant with their second child.  He has already started participating in the 14th season of the show, which means if he does decide to take a year off, it won’t be happening until 2019 at the earliest.
-ContactMusic
★ Hugh Hefner made sure that if any of his beneficiaries wanted a piece of his fabulous fortune, they’ve got to keep their noses clean, literally.  According to the late Playboy founder’s trust, an article titled “SUBSTANCE ABUSE” states that any beneficiary who “frequently uses or consumes any illegal substance, or is clinically dependent upon the use of alcohol or any other legal drug” will be terminated from the trust.
(Now then, what exactly do you mean by “frequently”?)
-TheBlast
★ Eva Longoria and her husband, José “Pepe” Bastón, are expecting big things in 2018. Longoria, who is 42, is pregnant with her first child.  Bastón has three older children from a previous marriage — two teens and an adult daughter.  The two were married in July 2016.
-Yahoo

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jack Black, Kirk Herbstreit, Desmond Howard, Lee Corso, Walk the Moon ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Anderson Cooper, Andy Cohen, Issa Rae, Dram featuring Bigbabymom
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Rachel Maddow, Ben Platt ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Sarah Paulson, Judd Apatow, Grant Morrison, Mark Guiliana ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Krysten Ritter, Josh Hutcherson ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Tiffany Haddish ( R )
• “The Talk” (CBS): Minnie Driver, Josh Martinez, guest co-host Aisha Tyler ( R )
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Hugh Jackman, Brett Eldredge, Marie Haycox
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Luke Bryan ( R )
• “I Love Lucy Christmas Special” (CBS): Colorized versions of 1956’s “Christmas Episode” and 1955’s “Fashion Show.” First, the Ricardos recall how their lives have changed since little Ricky was born.
• “Masters of Illusion” (CW): Hosted by Dean Cain, the special features magicians Jarrett and Raja, Jonathan Pendragon, Ed Alonzo, Jibrizy, Les Arnold, Murray SawChuck, Farrell Dillon, Tommy Wind, Titou, Naathan Phan and Greg Gleason.
• “Greatest Holiday Commercials Countdown” (CW): A countdown of the 12 best holiday commercials ever—one for each of the 12 days of Christmas. In addition to the top 12, the special features other great commercials from both the U.S. and abroad, from the heartfelt to the hilarious.
SATURDAY-
• “Christmas Getaway” (HALLMARK): Hoping to spend the holiday relaxing, a travel writer takes a traditional Christmas vacation for the first time. Through a mix up on the rental site, she finds herself double-booked for the holidays with a widower, his young daughter and mom.
SUNDAY-
• “It’s a Wonderful Life” (NBC): An angel is sent from Heaven to help a desperately frustrated businessman by showing him what life would have been like if he had never existed.
• “A Christmas Carol” (AMC): Charles Dickens’ classic about a Victorian-era miser taken on a journey of self-redemption, courtesy of several mysterious Christmas apparitions.
• “Love Actually” (CMT): Follows the lives of eight very different couples in dealing with their love lives in various loosely interrelated tales all set during a frantic month before Christmas in London, England.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Rihanna – The trailer for the movie ‘Oceans 8′ was released this week.  Aside from RiRi, the movie also features Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett and Anne Hathaway.  Rounding out the “all-female” cast are Helena Bonham Carter, Sarah Paulson, Mindy Kaling, and comedian Awkwafina.  Oh, and Matt Damon and James Corden are in there too.
• Ciara – she and Kelly Rowland teamed up last weekend to bring holiday cheer to the Seattle Children’s Hospital. Wearing red Santa hats, they went from room to room singing Christmas carols and assisting with arts and crafts.
• Kendrick Lamar – will play the halftime show at this year’s College Football National Championship game.  ESPN will broadcast the game on Jan. 8 from Atlanta’s Mercedes-Benz Stadium, with Lamar’s special performance set just outside in Centennial Olympic Park.
• Eminem – When asked if he uses any dating apps, he responded, “Yeah, Tinder.  And Grindr. I also used to go to strip clubs.”  Fans were left very confused by that surprising revelation, given Grindr is the app used predominantly by gay men to meet and hook up.
• Lil Wayne – just made Christmas a whole lot happier for some lucky kids in his native New Orleans. He teamed with Toys for Tots and the Zulu Social Aid and Pleasure Club to deliver toys and bikes to children in need with a generous donation.
• Robin Thicke – is being chased by Uncle Sam.  According to two Federal tax liens, he owes a grand total of over $2.3 million in taxes.
• Oasis – Former singer Liam Gallagher says that the eight-year feud between him and guitarist brother Noel has finally been resolved after Noel “reached out”. The disintegration of their relationship led to Oasis splitting in 2009, and since then the pair have frequently engaged in public spats.  (What are we going to watch for entertainment now??)
• Gene Simmons – Citing “recent developments”, the Friars Club has canceled plans to host a roast of the Kiss co-founder next March.  Simmons has been the target of a sexual battery lawsuit — and a series of subsequent accusations from women with stories of similar behavior. (When you’re politically incorrect for a Friars Club roast, you’re politically incorrect!)
• Kacey Musgraves – says her family has some great holiday traditions.  Her Mom is a visual artist and painter and often makes handmade presents for family members.  Among Kacey’s favs:  A portrait of Pearl, her 3-legged dog, “the most realistic, beautiful painting of her”.
• Micheal Ray – A visit to McDonald’s has landed him behind bars.  The ‘Kiss You in the Morning’ singer was arrested early Wednesday morning on driving while intoxicated and possession of marijuana charges in Eustis, Fla.

THIS WEEK’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” (PG-13, Drama/Kids-Opened Wed.):  Four teenagers discover an old video game console and are literally drawn into the game’s jungle setting, becoming the adult avatars they chose. (Dwayne Johnson, Karen Gillan, Kevin Hart, Jack Black)
• “The Greatest Showman” (PG, Drama/Musical-Opened Wed.):  Inspired by the imagination of P.T. Barnum, this is an original musical that celebrates the birth of show business and tells of a visionary who rose from nothing to create a spectacle that became a worldwide sensation. (Hugh Jackman, Michelle Williams, Zac Efron, Zendaya)
• “Pitch Perfect 3” (PG-13, Comedy-Opens today):  Following their win at the world championship, the now separated Bellas reunite for one last singing competition at an overseas USO tour, but face a group who uses both instruments and voices. (Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, Brittany Snow, Anna Camp)
• “The Shape of Water” (R-Rated, Drama/Science Fiction-Opens today):  In a 1960s research facility, a mute janitor forms a relationship with an aquatic creature. (Sally Hawkins, Octavia Spencer, Michael Shannon)
• “Downsizing” (R-Rated, Comedy/Drama-Opens today):  A social satire in which a guy realizes he would have a better life if he were to shrink himself. (Matt Damon, Christoph Waltz, Hong Chau, Kristen Wiig)

SPOTIFY’S MOST-STREAMED CHRISTMAS SONGS 2017 (WORLDWIDE):
1. Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas Is You
2. Wham! – Last Christmas
3. Michael Bublé – It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas
4. Justin Bieber – Mistletoe
5. Ariana Grande – Santa Tell Me
6. Andy Williams – It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
7. Band Aid – Do They Know It’s Christmas?
8. The Pogues – Fairytale of New York (feat. Kirsty MacColl)
9. Bing Crosby – White Christmas
10. Frank Sinatra – Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
-Spotify

BEST BEFORE:
To many, the very thought of drinking eggnog is bad enough.  How about a delicious drink of the stuff that is a month-old?  There exists a small group of eggnog aficionados who actually love the stuff so much that they refer to themselves as ‘eggnoggers’, and when they get together, they call their gatherings “Nog Salons”.  And here is the thing: They claim that the best way to enjoy their drink of choice is…to age it first…for about a month!  Before you say “Yuck” (whoops…too late!), hear me out.  First: is it safe to drink after a month when eggs are involved?  Yes.  It’s very important that your recipe contains a sufficient amount of liquor, generally recommended at around 20 percent, since the alcohol is key to killing bacteria.  And you must make it from scratch and let it sit in the fridge to age.  After doing a taste test between ‘fresh’ nog and a batch made from the ‘load it up, and let it sit’ school of thought, one person reported that it was no contest.  The aged nog was described as “cohesive, unified, certainly suggestive of everything that had gone into the drink.  The alcohol had mellowed and simply become part of the chord.”  Kinda makes me wonder why we don’t all have a bottle of Eggnog aging in our refrigerators.
(Sorry but the only chunks I want in my egg nog are ice cubes!)
(Want a cup?  It should be ready….about Valentines Day!)
(Will that be one clump, or two?)
-TheDailyBeast

COMMON SHOPPING MISTAKES TO AVOID ON BOXING DAY:
✗ Don’t lose sight of your priorities:  Have a plan in place: What do you need and how much are you willing to spend?  (Notice the question isn’t: “Are you spending money you don’t have”?)
✗  Don’t shop exclusively online:  It may be convenient, but it is also easy to overspend.  (Plus: don’t you want to get away from your family, just a bit?)
✗ Don’t get caught up in the deal:  It’s easy to be swayed by an attractive deal, but staying focused is the key to preventing overspending.  (“I don’t care if we don’t need it, it was 60% off!)
✗ Don’t spend to save:  In no universe is spending money actually saving money.  But it can feel like that.  (If only, right?)
✗ Don’t shop in a group:  You won’t have to stick to someone else’s schedule, and you can focus on the stores that relate specifically to you and your needs. (Unless they’re drivin’…)
✗ Don’t succumb to ‘sale brain’:  Things offered at deep discounts are often the leftovers that weren’t too popular in the first place.  And if something doesn’t fit right, no discount will make it worth it.  (But if I can just lost that last 35 pounds….)
(Sorry to be the killjoy here….happy shopping!)
-Global

BS CHRONOMETER 12.22.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [72] Diane Sawyer, Glasgow KY, news anchor (“ABC World News Tonight: 2008-2015, “Good Morning America” 1999-2016)

1962 [55] Ralph Fiennes (PRON: Rafe Fines), Suffolk UK, movie actor (“Grand Budapest Hotel”, “Harry Potter” films)/stage actor (Tony Award-“Hamlet”) COMING UP…The White Crow, 2018

1989 [28] Jordin Sparks, Phoenix AZ, pop singer (w/Chris Brown-‘No Air’, ‘Tattoo’)/“American Idol 6″ winner at age 17 (2007)

1993 [24] Meghan Trainor, Nantucket MA, pop singer (w/Charlie Puth-‘Marvin Gaye’, ‘All About That Bass’)

SATURDAY-
1943 [74] Harry Shearer, LA CA, TV voice-over actor (numerous voices on “The Simpsons” since 1989)/movie actor (“This Is Spinal Tap”)

1964 [53] Eddie Vedder (Edward Louis Severson III), Evanston IL, alt-rock singer (Pearl Jam-‘Jeremy’, ‘Daughter’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2017

2002 [15] Finn Wolfhard, actor (“Stranger Things”, “It”) COMING UP… Dog Days, 2018

SUNDAY-
Pop singer Ricky Martin (‘La Vida Loca’) is 46; Author Stephenie Meyer (“Twilight Saga”) is 44; TV/Radio personality Ryan Seacrest (“Live with Kelly and Ryan”) is 43; Pop singer Louis Tomlinson (solo artist, formerly of ‘One Direction’) is 26

CHRISTMAS DAY-
Pop singer Jimmy Buffett (‘Margaritaville’) is 71; Movie actress Sissy Spacek (“Coal Miner’s Daughter”) is 68; Pop singer Annie Lennox (Eurythmics) is 63; Pop singer Dido (‘White Flag’) is 46.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Abilities Day”, honoring disabled people and their care-givers. It is also a time to recognize that we all have abilities and disabilities of various kinds.

• “Date Nut Bread Day”, celebrating the rich loaf that is moist and delicious and great toasted for breakfast. Sort of like Christmas cake, only with half the weight.

• “National Cookie Exchange Day”,  cookie exchanges/swaps/parties are loads of fun and pretty simple to put together. Save the date, invite your guests and whip up a batch or two of your favorite tried-and-true homemade cookie recipes or try that brand new recipe you’ve been eyeing and share/trade with your guests.

SATURDAY-
• “Festivus”, created in 1966 but little-known until mentioned in a “Seinfeld” episode in 1997. It’s dedicated to celebrating the season without the pressure and commercialism of traditional holidays. (“A Festivus for the rest of us!”  Now, who would like to begin the Airing of Grievances?)

• “HumanLight”, a Humanist holiday celebrated annually on December 23rd.  Like “Kwanzaa”, it’s a modern invention, celebrating a positive approach to the coming new year.

• “Pfeffernuesse Day”, a salute to the tiny spice cookies that are popular as a holiday treat in Denmark, Germany, and The Netherlands, as well as among Mennonites in North America.

• “Roots Day”, a day to celebrate your heritage. Many of us are returning to our roots as we head home for Christmas, bringing us a cozy, comfortable feeling and a sense of belonging.

SUNDAY-
• “Christmas Eve”, a family gift-giving occasion in many countries.

• “Egg Nog Day”, celebrating the seasonal rum or brandy drink that has nothing good for you in it but sure tastes good. A coffee spiked with egg nog and brandy is called a ‘tom-tom’.

• “Last Minute Shopper’s Day”, today is a big shopping day as last minute shoppers hurry to get last- minute Christmas gifts. Many malls and shopping centers have extended hours and great deals in order to lure these shoppers.

MONDAY-
• “Christmas Day”, a Christian holiday that celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ, and is also celebrated as a non-religious cultural holiday. It is a public holiday in at least 105 countries.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [11] “Night At the Museum”, starring Ben Stiller, opens in movie theaters (spawns 2 sequels)

2007 [10] Late night TV host Jimmy Fallon (“Tonight Show”) weds producer Nancy Juvonen

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2002 [15] Joe Strummer, lead singer of legendary Brit punk band The Clash, dies in Broomfield, England at age 50 of an undiagnosed congenital heart defect

2012 [05] Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood (65) marries girlfriend Sally Humphreys (34)

2014 [03] English singer Joe Cocker (“With a Little Help From My Friends”, “Up Where We Belong”) dies of lung cancer at age 70 in Crawford, Colorado

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2001 [16] Richard Reid unsuccessfully attempts to destroy American Airlines Flight 63 from Paris to Miami using explosives hidden in his shoes (due to this one feeble attempt, passengers are subjected to removing their shoes at security for over a decade)

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK CHRISTMAS FACTS:
✓ Early illustrations of St. Nicholas make him out to be a stern symbol of discipline rather than the jolly, overweight elf that children know today.  (Then he had a Coke and got jolly!)
✓ Telling scary ghost stories is an old Christmas Eve tradition that has died out in the past century.  (At least until Tim Burton came along…)
✓ Some zoos accept donated Christmas trees as food for their animals.  (Gee.  Thanks for the Christmas leftovers…)
✓ It is estimated that the song “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby has sold over 100 million copies, making it the best selling single in history.  (Not the Rosie O’Donnell version, huh?)
✓ A large part of Sweden’s population watches Donald Duck cartoons every Christmas Eve.  (Which sounds weird, but not as weird as watching whatever it is that MY family does every Christmas Eve….)
✓ An artificial Christmas tree would have to be reused for more than 20 years to be “greener” than buying a fresh-cut tree annually.  (The dog likes it better, too.)
✓ Japanese people traditionally have KFC for Christmas dinner, thanks to a successful marketing campaign in the 1970s.  KFC is so popular that customers place their Christmas orders up to 2 months in advance.  (In order to get on the bucket list?)
✓ In 1867, a Boston industrialist heard Charles Dickens read ‘A Christmas Carol’ and was so moved, he closed his factory on Christmas Day and gave every one of his employees a turkey.  (And like Tiny Tim said:  “Merry Christmas to us all; God bless us, every one!”)
-List25

BS SIGNS YOUR KIDS DON’T LIKE THEIR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS:
• There’s something half-hearted about the way they say, “Oh wow — Q-Tips”
• They spend Christmas morning making up games involving wrapping paper
• You see them trying to shove everything back up the chimney
• Spelled out in Legos on the front lawn are the words “You Are Cheap”
• Moments after they unwrap their gifts, you see them up for sale on ‘Facebook Marketplace’.
• Your son simply refuses to understand why you couldn’t get him a date with Kaley Cuoco.
• They cite your gifts as a major factor in their decision to convert to Judaism
• You wake up and find the head of Elmo in your bed
• They ask, “OK, now where are the REAL gifts?”
-Neloo

LEAST-POPULAR 2018 CALENDARS:
Giving a calendar as a gift this year? Best stay away from these …
✗ Apple’s “Nerd-a-Day Desk Calendar”
✗ “A Year of Fat Accountants Named Fred”
✗ “365 Tips for First Class Toenail Maintenance”
✗ “Senators Unclothed!”
✗ “Keith Richards’ Health Tip-a-Day Calendar”
✗ “12 Close-Up Views of Ed Sheeran’s Wart”
-First published in BS in 2016

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What unusual job has you stuck working Christmas Day? New Year’s Eve?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Let’s be naughty and save Santa a trip!

BONUS BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if it runs out, I’ll drink the red.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  2% of us will do THIS on Monday.  What?
Answer:  Help out at a homeless shelter.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Peace on earth will come to stay, when we live Christmas every day.


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