Wednesday, December 23, 2015        Edition: #5599

Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

★ Quentin Tarantino’s “The Hateful Eight” and Leonardo DiCaprio’s period drama “The Revenant” have leaked online ahead of their North American releases on Christmas Day. Hive-CM8 hackers have taken responsibility for the leaks and have threatened to upload more copies of the films to the Internet in the near future. The group has also released copies of Jennifer Lawrence’s “Joy” and Tom Hardy’s “Legend”.
★ Perhaps you have a wine rack; maybe a wine fridge; but unless you are Oprah Winfrey, you probably don’t have a ‘wine mine’. It’s a 56-foot-long wine cellar that looks like a mining tunnel, complete with piped-in sounds of creaking wood and dripping water and an antique ore cart that rides on old mine rails. The room also has computerized flickering lights made to look like lantern light and holds a whopping 1,600 bottles. It’s just one of the fancy features of Winfrey’s new $14-million, 8,700-square-foot ‘ski home’ in Telluride, Colorado.
– “Los Angeles Times”
★ The brains behind the 2008 movie “Milk” are reuniting, this time for a TV miniseries about the gay rights movement. ABC-TV has ordered up an 8-hour series from the film’s writer Dustin Lance Black. “Milk” director Gus Van Sant will helm the first 2 hours of “When We Rise”, which details the rise of the LGBT rights movement from its infancy in San Francisco, California to present-day. Black won the Oscar for ‘Best Original Screenplay’ for his take on Harvey Milk’s activism in the 1970s, while Van Sant received a ‘Best Director’ nomination.
★ Hollywood actor Nicolas Cage has agreed to turn over a rare stolen dinosaur skull he bought for $276,000 to the Mongolian government. The US attorney’s office in Manhattan filed a civil forfeiture complaint last week to take possession of the Tyrannosaurus bataar skull, which will be repatriated to Mongolia. The lawsuit did not specifically name Cage as the owner, but Cage’s publicist confirmed that the actor bought the skull in March 2007 from a Beverly Hills CA gallery. The “National Treasure” actor is not accused of wrongdoing, and authorities say he voluntarily agreed to turn over the skull after learning of the circumstances.
★ And Barack Obama will match wits with veteran stand-up Jerry Seinfeld in the Season 7 premiere of “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee”. The episode featuring the president was filmed earlier in December at the White House. Obama and Seinfeld will be seen driving a 1963 Corvette Stingray split window coupe while discussing life at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue over a cup of joe. Seinfeld says, “He was so easy and fun to be with. It was an unforgettable day.” The episode will stream on Crackle beginning December 30th.

• “Adele Live in New York City” (NBC) – An hour-long primetime concert special at Radio City Music Hall recorded November 17th, 3 days prior to the release of her monster album “25”. It’s her first North American gig since 2011. Rerun.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Beirut (“No No No”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Rick Ross (“Black Market”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Drenge (“Undertow”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Yeah Yeah Yeahs drummer Brian Chase. Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Lizzo (“Lizzobangers”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Maroon 5’s Adam Levine.
• “Michael Bublé’s Christmas in Hollywood” (NBC) – The Grammy Award-winner hosts his 5fth annual holiday special, with celebrity guests Blake Shelton, Céline Dion, Eva Longoria, Jay Leno, Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings, Tori Kelly, and William Shatner. Bublé performs his latest Christmas song. Rerun.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Elle King (“Love Stuff”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Pentatonix (“Pentatonix”). Rerun.

• Adele – She’s racked up an 8th week atop the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ chart with “Hello”, surpassing the 7-week reign of her 2011 hit “Rolling In the Deep”. Mariah Carey still holds the all-time record at 16 weeks with her 1995 Boyz II Men collaboration, “One Sweet Day”.
• Keyshia Cole – The R&B singer is preparing to make her bigscreen acting debut in a biopic about late rap icon Tupac Shakur titled “All Eyez On Me”. The role of Tupac will be portrayed by newcomer Demetrius Shipp Jr, who’s said to bear an uncanny resemblance to the late star.
• Led Zeppelin – The late John Bonham’s son Jason has given hope to Led Zep fans by suggesting the legendary rockers will perform together again one day. They parted ways in 1980 but returned for a one-off performance in London in 2007 with Jason on drums. Quote: “It remains to be seen if it will be in public or privately, but I do think we will play again.”
• Lil Wayne – He’s hired attorneys to fight a string of legal battles, and now his own lawyers are suing him for non-payment. This week the Kramer law firm filed suit in Manhattan court in a bid to collect some $375,000-plus in legal fees.
• Lupe Fiasco – He’s announced he’ll release 3 separate albums in 2016. “Drogas” is up first early in the new year. He’s also kicking off a North American tour in Seattle, Washington on January 13th.
• Miguel – He’s branching out into modeling, joining rapper Wiz Khalifa and many others on the IMG Models roster. The 30-year-old was just nominated for Grammy Awards for ‘Best R&B Song’ (“Coffee”) and ‘Best Urban Contemporary Album’ (“Wildheart”).

“The Big Short” ( R-Rated Biographical Drama ): 4 outsiders in the world of high-finance who predict the credit and housing bubble collapse of the mid-2000s decide to take on the big banks for their lack of foresight and greed. Stars Brad Pitt, Christian Bale, Ryan Gosling, Steve Carell.

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 96% of today’s mall Santas have a real beard.
• 86% of women say they battle with frizzy hair every day.
• 54% of pet owners hang up a Christmas stocking for their pet.
• 38% of us have bought a scarf because we didn’t know what else to get someone as a gift.
• 33% of men surveyed have never, ever cleaned a toilet.
• 15% of people who have a real Christmas tree have cut it down themselves.

• Actors Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner.
• Singers Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale.
• Country stars Miranda Lambert & Blake Shelton.
• Pop singers Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez.
• Sports figures Tiger Woods & Lindsey Vonn.
• Actors Charlize Theron & Sean Penn.
• Singers Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroeger.
• Country singer Reba McEntire & her manager Narvel Blackstock.
• Famous-for-nothing people Kourtney Kardashian & Scott Disick.
• TV stars Kaley Cuoco & Ryan Sweeting.
• Singers Mandy Moore & Ryan Adams.
• Movie actors Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield.
– @SunMedia

• “I thought I was just really tired but it’s been 5 years so I guess this is how I look now.”
• “The older I get the earlier it gets late.”
• “You’re not old until a teenager calls you ‘Sir’.”
• “Remember when you could still refer to your knees as ‘right’ and ‘left’ instead of ‘good’ and ‘bad’?”
• “I’m so old I can remember getting through an entire day without taking a picture of anything.”
• “My daughter just asked me why we say ‘hang up the phone’ and now I feel 90.”
• “You know you’re getting old when your finger cramps up scrolling down to the year you were born for an online form.”
• “I’m getting old but I’m not ‘Let me call you, I hate texting’ old.”
• “I just threw my back out throwing my shoulder out.”
• “I’m 42 … going on dead.”
– Adapted from

Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘iHunch’ – A forward curve of the upper back caused by constantly looking down at a smartphone or similar device. Technology is transforming how we hold ourselves, contorting our bodies.
• ‘Oven-Ready’ – Any plan that is capable of starting or being implemented immediately.
• ‘Unspo’ – A backlash against online inspirational messages, these are humorous ideas and images relating to unhealthy or unsuccessful lives, ie: A photo of congealed mac & cheese; a post-gym selfie, complete with blotchy face.

✓ Poor nutrition can exacerbate symptoms so make sure you eat regularly throughout the day, drink plenty of water before a party and, if you’re drinking alcohol, do it responsibly.
✓ Christmas party season can throw all your normal routines into disarray but if you do things regularly that you know keep you feeling good, like a morning run or some mindfulness, try to make time for them and keep them up.
✓ If you are anxious, go to parties or social events early on before they get too busy.
✓ Take a friend or colleague you trust along to social events if you feel anxious.
✓ Be sensitive if people are reluctant to join in. Rather than calling them a party pooper, ask them how you could help them enjoy the festivities more.
✓ If someone you know is too anxious to show up at all, offer to bring some of the festivities to them when it’s convenient.
✓ For people hosting Christmas parties, try to organize an area that’s quieter and away from the music.

• Leo Fender, the man who invented the Telecaster and the Stratocaster, couldn’t play guitar.
• Started in 2001 in a church in Halberstadt, Germany and scheduled to conclude in 2640, the world’s longest concert will last 639 years in total.
• NoClue, a rapper from Seattle WA, was awarded the title of ‘World’s Fastest Rap MC’ by  Guinness World Records after being measures at 723 syllables in 51.27 seconds.


1943 [72] Harry Shearer, LA CA, TV voice-over actor (numerous voices on “The Simpsons” since 1989)/movie actor (“This Is Spinal Tap”)

1964 [51] Eddie Vedder (Edward Louis Severson III), Evanston IL, alt-rock singer (“Hard Sun”, Pearl Jam-“Mind Your Manners”)

1992 [23] Spencer Daniels, Tarzana CA, TV actor (‘Luke’ on “Mom” since 2013)

• “Festivus”, created in 1966 but little-known until mentioned in a “Seinfeld” episode in 1997. It is dedicated to celebrating the season without the pressure and commercialism of traditional holidays.

• “HumanLight”, a Humanist holiday celebrated annually on December 23rd. Like “Kwanzaa”, it’s a modern invention, celebrating a positive approach to the coming new year.

• “Noche de Rabano” (“Night Of the Radishes”) in Oaxaca (‘wah-HAH-kah’), Mexico, when figurines are cleverly carved … from radishes. How festive!

• “Pfeffernuesse Day”, a salute to the tiny spice cookies that are popular as a holiday treat in Denmark, Germany, and The Netherlands, as well as among Mennonites in North America.

• “Roots Day”, a day to celebrate your heritage. Many of us are returning to our roots as we head home for Christmas, bringing us a cozy, comfortable feeling and a sense of belonging.

1997 [18] 62-year-old movie director Woody Allen and his 27-year-old stepdaughter Soon-Yi Previn quietly wed in Venice, Italy

2007 [08] World renowned jazz pianist Oscar Peterson dies in Mississauga, Ontario at age 82

2007 [08] Los Angeles Lakers guard Kobe Bryant (aged 29 years, 122 days) surpasses Wilt Chamberlain to become youngest player in NBA history to reach 20,000 career points

2014 [01] Dow Jones average hits a record 18,024 after taking less than 6 months to climb from 17,000 points

[Thurs] Christmas Eve
[Fri] Christmas Day
[Fri] “Downton Abbey” UK series finalé (ITV)
[Fri] Christmas Pudding Day
[Sat] Candy Cane Day
[Sat] Whiners Day
This Week Is … It’s About Time Week
This Month Is … Drunk & Drugged Driving Prevention Month


● Leaving Santa a glass of milk and a mutilated squirrel.
● Gingerbread-flavored worm pills.
● Decorating the tree with slobber-soaked tennis balls and a festive ‘scent.’
● Remembering to tip the guy who gives flea baths.
● Praying for peace on Earth and a slightly larger hole in the fence to the poodle’s yard.
● Laying down by the fire with a nice brandy and licking themselves.
● Attending candlelight vigil in remembrance of neutered brothers.
● Drinking egg nog out of the toilet bowl.

I wish I had a dollar … for every one I’ve spent.

• George Frederick Handel’s great Christmas oratorio, “The Messiah”, was first performed in 1742. Where did the performance take place?
a. London
b. Dublin [CORRECT. It was written to aid charities in Ireland. It was a success there from its original performance.]
c. Vienna
d. Jerusalem

• If you were given some ‘frumenty’ at a Medieval Christmas party, what would you most likely do with it?
a. Eat it [CORRECT. It was a spiced porridge, forerunner of modern Christmas puddings.]
b. Burn it.
c, Put it in your sweetheart’s hair.
d. Use it to polish your boots.

☎ What do you intend to be doing at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve?

Question: According to research, Wednesday is the most popular day of the week to do THIS.
Answer: Go on a first date.

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

“The Bull Sheet” will be shutting down for the holidays from December 25th-January 3rd inclusive. All subscribers will be awarded account credits for missed service days. If you’ve received a renewal notice, be sure to re-subscribe to ensure service in 2016.

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