Friday, December 23, 2016 – Edition: #5879

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BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
This is the final edition of “BS” for 2016 as “The Bull Sheet” is shutting down for the holidays. Next issue is for January 2, 2017. All subscribers are getting account credits for missed service days. If you receive a renewal notice, be sure to re-subscribe to ensure service in the new year.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Donald Trump might not be a fan but Alec Baldwin’s impersonation of the president-elect has become a “Saturday Night Live” staple. In a new interview, Baldwin says the key to his impression is in the pauses. He says Trump strikes him as a man always pausing and looking for stronger words, but failing to find them. Baldwin also reveals he gets paid $1,400 for each appearance, he has a tangerine Trump wig specifically tailored to fit his head, and it’s likely his appearances will diminish as viewers tire of them.
– “New York Times”
★ Kris Jenner is said to be willing to offer Blac Chyna $5 million to ‘walk away’ from Rob Kardashian and their baby Dream, who was born November 10th. The reason for the massive potential payout? Chyna’s reportedly been out partying every night, trying to trademark the Kardashian name and, of course, treating Rob like dirt since she split from their relationship.
– “Star Magazine”
★ TV star Sofia Vergara’s son Manolo Gonzalez Vergara has made his modeling debut. The 24-year-old offspring of the “Modern Family” actress has appeared in his first-ever campaign, a photo-spread for “Paper” magazine’s new issue. Wait a sec … Sofia Vergara has a 24-year-old son?
– E! Online
★ John Lennon’s 83-year-old widow Yoko Ono has a role in director Wes Anderson’s next movie, the animated feature “Isle of the Dogs”. The ensemble voice cast also includes Bill Murray, Bryan Cranston, Scarlett Johansson, and Tilda Swinton. The stop-motion animation is being filmed in England for a 2018 release. Anderson’s last film was 2014′s “The Grand Budapest Hotel”.
– IndieWire.com
★ And “Star Wars” composer John Williams has revealed that he has NEVER seen any of the films in the sci-fi series. The Oscar-winning composer is responsible for numerous scores in the franchise, but admits he’s just never taken the time to watch any of the movies. Quote: ”I let it go. When I’m finished with a film, I’ve been living with it, we’ve been dubbing it, recording to it, and so on. You walk out of the studio and ‘Ah, it’s finished’.” (Just like your show, right?)
– “Daily Mirror”

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “CMA Country Christmas” (ABC) – Saturday Jennifer Nettles hosts a rerun of country stars performing holiday songs. Performers include Brad Paisley, Brett Eldredge, Kacey Musgraves, Kelly Clarkson, Kelsea Ballerini, Sarah McLachlan, and Trisha Yearwood.
• “Dolly Parton’s Christmas of Many Colors: Circle of Love” (NBC) – Tonight in this rerun TV movie, Dolly’s father tries to raise enough money to buy his wife a wedding ring for Christmas.
• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Niall Horan (“This Town”); Snoop Dogg (“Coolaid”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Frenship (“Truce”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Tonight Stevie Wonder (“Someday at Christmas”).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Today guest co-host Michael Bublé (“Christmas”).
• “Taraji’s White Hot Holidays” (FOX) – Tonight a rerun of the “Empire” star’s seasonal special featuring modern takes on Christmas songs. Performers: Alicia Keys, Missy Elliott, Pharrell Williams, Snoop Dogg, and TLC.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight R Kelly (“12 Nights of Christmas”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Britney Spears – Today she releases an EP of remixes of her latest single w/Tinashe, “Slumber Party”. The new versions are with Bad Royale, Bimbo Jones, Danny Dove, DropGun, Marc Stout, and Misha K.
• Garth Books – He’s set to dominate next week’s ‘Billboard Top Country Albums’ chart, with “The Ultimate Collection” at #1 and “Christmas Together” w/wife Trisha Yearwood at #2.
• Justin Bieber – He’s just now been indicted in Argentina for an incident in Buenos Aires 3 years ago when he’s alleged to have ordered his bodyguards to attack a photographer.
• Kanye West – Since his release from hospital he’s reportedly built a temporary studio in his Bel-Air CA mansion and is now making and recording new music.
• Kid Cudi – His new album “Passion, Pain & Demon Slayin’” is due today. It features appearances from Andre 3000, Pharrell, Travis Scott, and Willow Smith.
• Meek Mill – The 29-year-old rapper, who’s dating Nicki Minaj, is being paid $200,000 to perform at a New Year’s Eve party at Dream Nightclub in Miami FL.
• Nine Inch Nails – Today they drop a new EP featuring 5 new NIN songs, just as the band’s entire catalogue is being reissued on vinyl.
• St Vincent – The 34-year-old singer-songwriter (real name Annie Clark) promises her as-yet untitled new album will be her ”deepest, boldest work” yet. It’s due early in the new year.
• Shawn Mendes – Today he’s releasing “Live at Madison Square Garden”, an album of live tracks from the 18-year-old’s one-night-stand in NYC on September 10th.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “A Monster Calls” ( PG-13 Fantasy Drama ): A young boy (played by Lewis MacDougall) who struggles at school with bullies and at home with his mother’s terminal illness, seeks the help of a ‘tree monster’ to cope with his troubles. The third film from director JA Bayona co-stars Felicity Jones, Liam Neeson, and Sigourney Weaver.
NET: http://www.focusfeatures.com/amonstercalls
• “Why Him?” ( R-Rated Comedy ): A holiday gathering threatens to go off the rails when ‘Ned Fleming’ (played by Bryan Cranston) realizes that his daughter’s Silicon Valley billionaire-boyfriend is about to pop the question. What will transpire before the ‘Flemings’ accept ‘Laird’ (James Franco) as one of the family? Co-stars Cedric the Entertainer, Megan Mullally, Tangie Ambrose, and Zoey Deutch.
NET: http://www.foxmovies.com/movies/why-him
• Opening in limited release: Director Martin Scorsese’s “Silence” (Historical Drama).
• Opening in widening release: Denzel Washington in “Fences” (Drama).

GAME CHANGER:
Board games tend to come out when families are gathered together at this time of year. But according to a recent survey, 51% of ‘Monopoly’ games end in a fight. What can we do to settle game disputes? This year, experts are here to help. The makers of ‘Monopoly’ have set up a Christmas hotline that you call to settle disagreements that may arise during a game. If you need someone to weigh in on issues like fake rules, poor sportsmanship, or stealing fake money, just dial the hotline and get connected with an unbiased, trained expert. It may not prevent hurt feelings, but it could help prevent physical altercations with loved ones. The only bad news about the ‘Monopoly’ help line … it’s only available in the UK. (Pity.)
PHONE: Country code 44, then 0800 689 4903.
– Refinery29.com

CALEXIT:
After Brexit, could this be next? Leaders of a movement to turn California into an independent country hope so, and have now opened an ‘embassy’ in Moscow, Russia. The outpost is meant to function as a cultural center to educate Russians about California and to promote trade. “Yes California” backers are pledging a non-violent campaign to establish the country of California using all legal and constitutional means to do so. Leader Louis Marinelli vows not to seek military assistance or other help from Russia to bring it about. But a referendum calling for the state’s secession faces long odds, requiring an OK by the State of California in 2018 and a special election in 2019. (Who would be head of the country? King Zuckerberg?)
– “Daily Express”

MOST ANNOYING WORD 2016:
A new poll has found that this year’s most annoying word or phrase used in casual conversation is … “whatever”. The just-released Marist College survey indicates that the word irritates 38% of respondents. Other options for most annoying word or phrase: ”No offense, but …”; ”Ya know, right”; ”I can’t even”; and “huge!”. “No offense, but …” comes in 2nd, annoying 20% of us. “Whatever” also topped the poll in 2015, but it seems to be losing steam as last year it was found annoying by 43%. (We’d vote for “Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line for the next available operator …”)
– AP

ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE SIPPING:
‘Wine Condoms’ are said to be the perfect gift for the wine lovers in your life. Um no … they aren’t some sort of flavored treat. Created by Mitchell Strahan, ‘Wine Condoms’ were invented after he saw his mother use aluminum foil to preserve a half-empty bottle of wine. That method has its flaws … air holes. And regular wine stoppers are clunky and can make your bottle too tall to fit in the fridge. But ‘Wine Condoms’ are thin, discrete, and keep the wine air-tight without getting in the way. They look exactly like the condoms you may be more familiar with, but they’re stopping a different kind of … er, spill. (Sorry.)
– Sourced from “Cosmopolitan”

PATIENTS OF WOMEN DOCTORS BETTER OFF:
Want to live longer? Get a female doctor. That’s the conclusion of a new Harvard University study that finds elderly patients treated by women doctors live longer than those treated by men. It’s calculated that if all doctors performed as well as women doctors, some 32,000 lives would be saved each year. And female docs are pulling this off while being paid less and promoted less often than men. So why are women doing a better job? Female physicians have a more patient-centered communication style, are more encouraging and reassuring, and allow longer visits than male physicians. They’re also shown to be better at sticking to the evidence and doing things that are known to work better. (When you had a cold as a kid, who’d you go to for babying … mom or dad?)
– NBC News

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Thanks to a string of blockbusters in 2016, Disney has become the first movie studio ever to cross $7 billion at the global box office in a single year.
– “Entertainment Weekly”
• 99% of all species that ever lived have gone extinct.
– List 25.com

BS CHRONOMETER 12.23.16

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [73] Harry Shearer, LA CA, TV voice-over actor (numerous voices on “The Simpsons” since 1989)/movie actor (“This Is Spinal Tap”)

1964 [52] Eddie Vedder (Edward Louis Severson III), Evanston IL, alt-rock singer (“Hard Sun”, Pearl Jam-”Jeremy”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2017

SATURDAY –
Pop singer Ricky Martin (“La Vida Loca”) is 45; Author Stephenie Meyer (“Twilight Saga”) is 43; TV/Radio personality Ryan Seacrest (“New Year’s Rockin Eve with Ryan Seacrest”) is 42; Pop singer Louis Tomlinson (One Direction) is 25.

CHRISTMAS DAY –
Pop singer Jimmy Buffett (“Margarittaville”) is 70; Movie actress Sissy Spacek (“Coal Miner’s Daughter”) is 67; Pop singer Annie Lennox (“No More I Love Yous”) is 62; Pop singer Dido (“White Flag”) is 45.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Festivus”, created in 1966 but little-known until mentioned in a “Seinfeld” episode in 1997. It’s dedicated to celebrating the season without the pressure and commercialism of traditional holidays.
• “HumanLight”, a Humanist holiday celebrated annually on December 23rd. Like “Kwanzaa”, it’s a modern invention, celebrating a positive approach to the coming new year.
• “Noche de Rabano” (“Night Of the Radishes”) in Oaxaca (‘wah-HAH-kah’), Mexico, when figurines are cleverly carved … from radishes. How festive!
NET: http://academictoursoaxaca.com/4main_radish.htm
• “Pfeffernuesse Day”, a salute to the tiny spice cookies that are popular as a holiday treat in Denmark, Germany, and The Netherlands, as well as among Mennonites in North America.
• “Roots Day”, a day to celebrate your heritage. Many of us are returning to our roots as we head home for Christmas, bringing us a cozy, comfortable feeling and a sense of belonging.

SATURDAY –
• “Chanukah” begins at sunset, the 8-day Jewish celebration also known as “Festival of Lights”. Traditions include the lighting of candles placed in the menorah and the exchange of gifts. Children often play the spinning-top dreidel game.
• “Christmas Eve”, a family gift-giving occasion in many countries.
• “Egg Nog Day”, celebrating the seasonal rum or brandy drink that has nothing good for you in it but sure tastes good. A coffee spiked with egg nog and brandy is called a ‘tom-tom’.

SUNDAY –
• “Christmas Day”, a holiday in at least 105 nations.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2015 [01] Oscar-winning movie “The Big Short”, starring Christian Bale, Ryan Gosling, and Steve Carell, opens in movie theaters

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2007 [09] World renowned jazz pianist Oscar Peterson dies in Mississauga, Ontario at age 82

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2007 [09] Los Angeles Lakers guard Kobe Bryant (aged 29 years, 122 days) surpasses Wilt Chamberlain to become the youngest player in NBA history to reach 20,000 career points

2014 [02] Dow Jones average hits a record 18,024 after taking less than 6 months to climb from 17,000 points (today it’s on the cusp of 20,000)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Boxing Day (Canada, UK)
[Mon] Thank-you Note Day
[Mon] Whiners Day
[Mon] Kwanzaa begins
[Tues] Visit the Zoo Day
[Wed] Endangered Species Day
This Week Is … It’s About Time Week
This Month Is … Drunk & Drugged Driving Prevention Month

BULL’S BITS

LESS POPULAR HOLIDAY TV SPECIALS:
• “Discovery Channel Presents: ‘Elf Autopsy’”
• “‘Twas 243 Nights Before Christmas”
• “Frosty, the Anatomically Correct Snowman”
• “The Grinch Who Sold Christmas on eBay”
• “The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t, Due to Santa’s Urinary Tract Infection”
• “Let’s See What Burl Ives Looks Like Now!”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
A friend of mine keeps trying to annoy me with really bad bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which experience does a new poll find more than a third of young children cry about?
a. Unwrapping gifts.
b. Sitting on Santa’s lap. [CORRECT]
c. Trying to eat a drumstick.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the most unusual sleep-wear you’ve worn (or heard of someone wearing)?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Fully 73% of us have re-gifted THIS gift.
Answer: Candle.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Technology is simply a means of manipulating the world so you don’t have to experience it.

Happy Holidays, all!


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