Thursday, December 5, 2013        Edition: #5117

Why Not Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning?

★ Tonight Prince William & the Duchess of Cornwall attend the UK premiere of “Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom” in London’s Leicester Square. The annual royal film performance benefits the Cinema & Television Benevolent Fund. Will & Kate will be joined at the glamorous event by the stars of the Nelson Mandela biopic, Idris Elba and Naomie Harris, as well as director Justin Chadwick and the former South African leader’s daughter, Zindzi Mandela.
★ George Clooney, arguably Hollywood’s most eligible leading man, has a history of dating beautiful women, including Kelly Preston, Celine Balitran, Elisabetta Canalis, and Stacy Keibler. But when “W” magazine asked its December 9th cover boy about the greatest love of his life for the annual art issue, he says Audrey Hepburn was his first love, after he saw her in “Roman Holiday” at age 11. As to his real-life greatest love, quote: “I haven’t met her yet.” Aww.
★ Diane Lane’s divorce from Josh Brolin is officially finalized. The 48-year-old “Man of Steel” actress filed for divorce from the 45-year-old “Oldboy” actor back on February 15th after an 8-and-a-half year marriage. “It is very amicable,” an insider says. “It’s not ugly, it’s just over.” Even so, Brolin is currently having a rough time of it, having checked into a rehab facility earlier this month after being involved in a couple of fistfights in LA.
– E! News
★ A dress worn by Diana, Princess Of Wales has sold for $127,500 at this week’s Passion for Fashion auction in London. The ball gown, encrusted with gold sequins, rhinestones, crystals, and pearls, was worn by the late princess at several high-profile events, including the 1987 premiere of ‘James Bond’ movie “The Living Daylights” and during a trip to the Bolshoi Ballet. The dress was purchased by an unnamed overseas museum following a heated bidding war.
– ABC News
★ And 27-year-old Lindsay Lohan Lindsay seems to have a thing for young stuff at the moment. After being recently linked with 19-year-old model Liam Dean, she’s now apparently turned her attention to actor Liam Neeson’s son, Michael …. who’s 18. They were spotted at a party last week, then again at NYC nightclub Finalé, where onlookers claim Lindsay led him hand-in-hand into … the women’s room. Classy.
– Bang Showbiz

• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – R Kelly (“Black Panties”, out December 10th).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Adam Levine (Maroon 5).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Jake Owen (“Days of Gold”, released this Tuesday).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Los Angeles-based indie rock band NO. Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Thomas Rhett (“It Goes Like This”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – Leona Lewis (“Christmas, with Love”).
• “The Sound of Music Live!” (NBC) – This 3-hour special is the latest in a series of attempts by TV networks to entice large audiences for a live event. Carrie Underwood stars as ‘Maria’, nanny to the ‘Von Trapp’ children. The soundtrack features a 40-piece orchestra.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Emeli Sandé (“Our Version of Events”); Robert Randolph (“Lickety Split”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – OneRepublic (“Native”). Rerun.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Flo Rida (“Wild Ones”).
• “The X Factor” (FOX/CTV2) – Contestants face elimination; performances by Emblem3, Little Mix.

• Billy Joel – He’s announced an unusual new residency. He’ll perform once-a-month at NYC’s Madison Square Garden … for as long as the fans will have him. The series of shows kicks off on January 27th.
• Bruce Springsteen – His handwritten lyrics to his first hit, “Born to Run”, are expected to fetch $70,000-to-$100,000 at a Sotheby’s auction in NYC today. An unidentified seller has offered the manuscript, said to date from 1974 and include 30 lines of neat handwriting on a lined page torn from a notebook.
• Bruno Mars – His “Moonshine Jungle Tour” will play 10 dates in Australia and New Zealand in March, then continue on to Asia in April. Additional North American tour dates will be announced next week.
• Garth Brooks – He’s going back to Las Vegas, but this time he’ll bring his band with him. He’ll do 4 shows at the Wynn Las Vegas resort January 3rd-4th, playing his own songs instead of music that influenced him, as he did during his series of solo gigs.
• Jay Z – He & wife Beyoncé are going vegan until Christmas Day. They set themselves a 22-day challenge after being inspired by a close friend to give up meat and dairy. Why 22 days? Jay notes that psychologists have said it takes 21 days to make or break a habit.
• Lady Gaga – After her last tour was derailed due to hip surgery, she’s ready to get back on the road with “artRave: The ARTPOP Ball”, beginning May 4th in Fort Lauderdale FL. The trek will visit several venues where this year’s dates were canceled, as well as playing new ones.
• Lana Del Rey – Today she releases the short film “Tropico” online at VEVO. The film begins in the Garden of Eden with Del Rey starring as ‘Eve’ and travels through time to modern-day LA. It includes 3 songs from her album “Born to Die”.
• Madonna – She’s stepped up her battle for gay rights in Russia by writing an open letter asking supporters around-the-world to band together to ‘fight against the Russian government’s campaign of hate’.
• Morrissey – The audiobook version of his brisk-selling memoir, “Autobiography”, is due for release today, voiced by “Walking Dead” actor David Morrissey (no relation). The book details Morrissey’s rise to prominence in the 1980s as lyricist and vocalist of rock band The Smiths.
• Pharrell Williams – He’s currently working on a new solo album which will be very different from his hip-hop influenced 2006 release “In My Mind”. He tells “Complex” magazine he won’t do any rapping on the recording. Quote: “That’s the difference between (age) 30 and 40.”

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 2” – The original cast from the 2012 Brit comedy (Judi Dench, Bill Nighy, Maggie Smith, Penelope Wilton) are set to return for a sequel. Joining them will be Richard Gere, though in what role is as-yet unannounced. The first film took in $136 million worldwide. Not a huge total, but it only cost $10 million to make. Filming begins in January.
• “Fifty Shades Of Grey” – 23-year-old Brit singer Rita Ora has now joined the cast to play ‘Mia Grey’, the adopted younger sister of billionaire protagonist ‘Christian Grey’ (Jamie Dornan). Producers are now planning to release 2 versions of the film, an R-rated version and a much raunchier NC-17 (over-18s only) version. The movie is set for release in 2015.
• “Train Wreck” – “Knocked Up” director Judd Apatow is set to helm this new comedy starring Amy Schumer, who will also write the script. Director-producer Apatow has been behind some of the biggest comedy hits in recent years since shooting to fame with “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” in 2005. So far, plot details regarding the new film are being kept completely under wraps.

Fast-food workers in about 100 US cities are scheduled to walk off the job today in the largest effort yet in their push for higher pay. The actions are intended to build on a campaign that began about a year ago to call attention to the difficulties of living on the federal minimum wage of $7.25-an-hour, about $15,000 a year. The protests are part of a movement by labor unions and worker advocacy groups to raise pay in low-wage sectors. Protesters are calling for $15-an-hour. (It’s an old negotiating technique: Ask for double, settle for less.)

An online survey of close to 2,500 mothers and expectant moms asks how they pick baby names. Among survey findings …
• 81% like classic names; 43% like very unusual, unique names.
• 80% finalized their baby name decision before the birth.
• 63% dislike the baby-naming trend of celebrity-inspired names.
• 54% say people they know are the inspiration for names: “My grandparents or my partner’s grandparents” leads the list at 39%.

You don’t have to be a psychic to peer into a woman’s thoughts. A few tell-tale signals …
✓ She’s got big peepers. If her pupils are dilated, she’s excited by what you’re saying.
✓ She sounds like a Chipmunk. Women’s voices go up in pitch when they find someone attractive.
✓ She plays with her hair. Any kind of self-grooming gesture indicates she’s primping herself to make a good impression.
✓ Her feet are pointed at you. This might be an early sign you’ve caught her eye, even if she hasn’t yet turned her head your way and is pretending to focus on her friends.
✓ Her lips are pursed. If she’s making this face, it means she likely disagrees with something you said.
✓ She shakes her head while saying ‘yes’. In her mind, she really means ‘no’. (The reverse is true as well … saying ‘no’ while nodding.)
✓ Her eyes crinkle when she smiles. It signals genuine joy. A smile without any laugh lines means she’s faking her amusement or happiness.

Men are better navigators while women are superior at multi-tasking because of the way the hemispheres of their brains are wired, according to a new  University of Pennsylvania study. Researchers have found a greater degree of neural connectivity from front to back within one hemisphere in males, suggesting their brains are wired to facilitate connectivity between perception and co-ordinated action. Women’s brains meanwhile are wired between left and right hemispheres, indicating communication between analytical thinking and intuition. (Some of the hoary old stereotypes from the battle of the sexes may just be true.)

People who express positive emotions are usually liked more than those who don’t, but the exact opposite seems to be true when the person expressing the emotion is a winner. New research at  Australia’s University of Queensland finds that jubilant, verbose winners are perceived as arrogant and a bit thoughtless, while successful people who control their emotions are rated 10% more likeable and 22% less prideful. Humble winners are also viewed as more considerate of other people’s feelings and also more friend-worthy. (Seems a small, appreciative smile and self-deprecating comment will earn you a lot more admirers than a victory shout.)

• In Canada, Santa has his own postal code: HOH OHO.
• Costa Rica is home to the world’s only sloth orphanage.
• “The Bible” is the most shoplifted book in the United States.
• The most-read publication in the UK is Tesco (supermarkets) magazine.


1965 [48] John Rzeznik, Buffalo NY, rock singer-guitarist (Goo Goo Dolls-“Give A Little Bit”, “Iris”)

1967 [46] Gary Allan (Herzberg), La Mirada CA, country singer (“Every Storm Runs Out of Rain”, “Nothing On But the Radio”)

1982 [31] Keri Hilson, Decatur GA, R&B singer-songwriter (“Pretty Girl Rock”, f/Kanye West & Ne-Yo–“Knock You Down”)

• “AFL-CIO Day”, celebrating the anniversary of the 1955 merger of the American Federation of Labor and the Congress of Industrial Organizations to form the largest federation of unions in the USA & Canada.

• “Bathtub Party Day”, encouraging a luxurious long, hot bath to develop inner peace. Almost everyone nowadays takes showers, so here’s a day to recall some of the luxury of days gone by.

• “Communicate With Your Baby Day”. Experts say the best way to do that is to look directly at them when you talk and use gestures.

• “International Day Of the Ninja”, when you’re encouraged to dress like a ninja and run wild in the streets.

• “International Volunteer Day”, instigated in 1985 by the United Nations to recognize the value of volunteers to society.

• “Tinsel Day”, in honor of your cat’s favorite gagging toy, your 2-year-old’s favorite poisonous snack, your vacuum cleaner’s favorite clogging device, and your home’s greatest holiday fire hazard. Looks festive though, doesn’t it?

• “Swap a Christmas Cookie Recipe Day”. We like that sugar cookie you make with the silver balls. (“Silver balls, silver balls. It’s Christmas time in the …”)

1968 [45] Rolling Stones hold a “Beggar’s Banquet” at London’s Elizabeth Rooms to promote the release of their new album with that name (the event ends in a pie fight)

1980 [33] John Lennon gives what would be his last interview, with “Rolling Stone” magazine

2000 [13] Several weeks ahead of the movie opening, the “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” soundtrack is released, and eventually sells upwards of 7 million copies

[Fri] “Inside Llewyn Davis”; “Out Of the Furnace” open in movie theaters
[Fri] “Grammy Nominations Concert Live!” (CBS)
[Fri] Faux Fur Friday
[Sat] Earmuff Day
[Sun] Metallica performs in Antarctica
[Sun] Kennedy Center Honors (Washington DC)
This Week Is … Handwashing Awareness Week
This Month Is … Safe Toys & Gifts Month


Wearable computer technology is becoming the next big thing. Hi-tech duds we’d like to see …
• The ‘Automatic Truss’, activated by a man’s heartbeat whenever a good-looking woman enters the room.
• The ‘My, It’s Drafty in Here Attachment’ causes short sleeves to grow into long sleeves at the first sign of goose bumps.
• ‘EAS’ (‘Embarrassment Avoidance System’), which immediately changes a dress’ color when another woman shows up in the same outfit.
• ‘Sock Sonar’ enables socks to ‘ping’ each other for ID and then pair up in the proper colors while they’re still in the drawer.
• The ‘Holiday Feast Alleviation Feature’ senses when you’ve had more than 2 helpings and automatically undoes your belt and pants button.

☎ Many of us are in the thick of holiday gift shopping. Who’s the hardest person to buy for? (A new survey is topped by ‘significant other’. The poll also finds that, the higher the income a couple has, the harder it is to purchase a gift for their partner.)

What was that small pocket inside the right-side pocket of your jeans originally intended for?
a. Pocket Watch. [CORRECT]
b. Spare Change.
c. Keys.
d. Condom.
– “QI”

I was in the supermarket the other day and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was ‘woman’.

Question: In 2003 adults bought an average of 15 of THESE a year; now they only buy 4.
Answer: DVDs.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Printer Friendly Version