Monday, December 5, 2016 – Edition: #5865

Why Not Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning?

★ Prince Harry & his new girl Meghan Markle issued a pretty savage statement to the press this month demanding privacy. But upon Meghan’s recent London visit the twosome had Sunday lunch together. Where? At Soho House … the spiritual home of London media. FYI: Meghan, you may want to stop snapping your meals for Instagram. Soho House has a ‘no cameras’ rule. It’s to protect members’ privacy. Ironically.
★ The first batch of performers has been announced for this year’s edition of ABC-TV’s “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest”. Mariah Carey, DNCE, Gloria Estefan, and Thomas Rhett will all be a part of the annual special. Seacrest and Jenny McCarthy co-host the show from NYC’s Times Square, while Fergie serves as the West Coast correspondent in Los Angeles.
★ New reports say comedian Amy Schumer is in talks to star in the live-action “Barbie” movie that Mattel and Sony have been working on since 2014. That’s right, Schumer as ‘Barbie’ doll. As a role model for female empowerment she’s said to fit perfectly with the doll’s evolution into different sizes and shapes. The film is reportedly about ‘Barbie’ being kicked out of ‘Barbieland’ because she doesn’t quite fit the mold. It’s expected in Summer 2018.
★ 41-year-old Bradley Cooper’s 30-year-old girlfriend, Victoria’s Secret model Irina Shayk, is pregnant with the couple’s first child, inside sources say. The couple has yet to confirm the news, but Shayk debuted her baby bump at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show recording last Wednesday in Paris. The two have been dating since April 2015, and neither has any children. One source says Shayk is in her 2nd trimester and is “so excited” about the baby.
– E! Online
★ And hoofer Derek Hough (“Dancing With the Stars”) is giving his feet a rest and taking a seat to judge other dancers alongside R&B singer Ne-Yo as they join Jennifer Lopez on NBC-TV’s upcoming dance competition series, “World of Dance”. The 10-episode series features solo dancers, duos, and groups across many dance styles going head-to-head with $1 million on the line. “World of Dance” has no premiere date yet.

• British Fashion Awards (London UK) – 77-year-old designer Ralph Lauren, who launched his debut clothing line ‘Polo’ in 1968, receives the ‘Outstanding Achievement Award in Fashion’ at the 2016 gala taking place at London’s Royal Albert Hall.
• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – Justin Bieber (“Promises”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Wolf Parade (self-titled EP).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – John Legend (“Darkness & Light”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – The Hold Steady (“Teeth Dreams”).
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Sarah McLachlan (“Wonderland”).
• “National Christmas Tree Lighting” (Hallmark Channel) – Highlights of the ceremonial lighting of the giant tree at Presidents Park beside the White House in Washington DC. Appearances by Chance the Rapper, Garth Brooks & Trisha Yearwood, James Taylor, Kelly Clarkson, The Lumineers, and Marc Anthony.
• “Showtime At the Apollo” (FOX) – Stars of comedy and music join host Steve Harvey for a re-imagining of the talent showcase series.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Kacey Musgraves (“A Very Kacey Christmas”).
• “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” (CBS) – Highlights of the annual show taped in Paris November 30th. Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, and The Weeknd perform. Models include Adriana Lima, Bella Hadid, Candice Swanepoel, Gigi Hadid, Jasmine Tookes, Kendall Jenner. Airs in Britain on 4Music next Monday.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The top 8 perform in front of the coaches for viewers’ votes.

• Adele – She’s announced 2 more “The Finalé” concerts at London’s Wembley Stadium after the first 2 gigs have sold out in minutes. The series now runs June 28-29 and July 1-2.
• Elton John – He’s refuting reports suggesting that he is set to announce his retirement after his 70th birthday next year (March 25th). Apparently he’s ‘Still Standing’.
• Granger Smith – He’s been admitted to a trauma center in Brunswick NJ after crashing off the stage into a metal barricade mid-show Friday night. He managed to finish his set, which ended with his first #1 country hit “Backroad Song”. He was rushed for treatment of 2 broken ribs, and a punctured and partially-collapsed lung.
• Grouplove – They’ve cancelled the rest of their 2016 tour dates as co-front person Hannah Cooper has been ordered to rest her voice for the next 4-to-6 weeks. Their North American tour dates in early January are still slated to go on.
• Kanye West – He & wife Kim Kardashian are said to be living apart as he continues receiving outpatient care since his discharge from UCLA’s Resnick Neuropsychiatric Hospital after a 9-day stay. One reason for the temporary split … she doesn’t want the kids to see him suffering.
• Lady Gaga – A new promo for her upcoming Super Bowl halftime show unveils a contest to share a video online showing why contestants are Gaga’s biggest fans. The grand prize is watching her halftime performance in person February 5th at Super Bowl LI in Houston TX.
• Little Mix – This week they’re on top of the UK album chart again for a 2nd week in a-row with their 4th release “Glory Days”.
• Rolling Stones – The geezer rockers are planning a new tour, hoping to hit the road in 2017 for a series of concerts around-the-world.

You too may soon be able to feel what it was like to hit an iceberg on the “HMS Titanic”. Construction of a life-size replica of the doomed passenger ship has begun in China’s Sichuan province with a keel-laying ceremony and fireworks to mark the occasion. It’s part of Star Energy Investment Group’s plans for a tourist resort along the Qijiang River. The big boat will eventually host a simulation of the iceberg collision that sank the original ship in the Atlantic on April 15, 1912. The project, which has already exceeded its estimated cost of $145 million, is due to be completed by the end of 2017. (Great idea, make a tragedy that killed 1,500 into an amusement park ride.)

The top 10 programs of the year, at least, according to one ranking …
1. “The Americans”, FX
2. “Stranger Things”, Netflix
3. “Atlanta”, FX
4. “BoJack Horseman”, Netflix
5. “Full Frontal with Samantha Bee”, TBS
6. “American Crime Story: The People v OJ Simpson”, FX
7. “Veep”, HBO
8. “Better Call Saul”, AMC
9. “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver”, HBO
10. “Halt & Catch Fire”, AMC
(Apparently broadcast TV is in deep sheet.)
– “Paste Magazine”

Introducing ‘Smart Duvet’ … the bed that makes itself. That’s right, bedcovers that can tidy themselves up after being slept in have been developed in Montréal QC. The so-called ‘Smart Duvet’ is a grid of inflatable tubes that can be concealed inside a regular bedspread. The inventor is crowdfunding her device, which she says can help people with limited mobility. (Not to mention those who are incredible lazy.)
– BBC News

A term of endearment that was big in the 1870s is returning to popularity. With the name ‘mama’ on the rise, it seems ‘papa’ is now also in vogue … at least among Brooklyn NY hipsters with offspring. But will it make its way back into the mainstream where it reached its height almost 150 years ago? Common in other languages, such as Russian, French, and Swedish, ‘papa’ officially dropped below ‘dad’ and ‘daddy’ in North America around 1970. Some are now arguing that it sounds ‘hip’ and ‘cute’ while dad is by comparison ‘bland’ and ‘drab’. But before your family makes the switch, social observers recommend trying it out in a few sentences first. (“Papa, this artisanal gelato is giving me a tummy-ache.”)
– “The Daily Beast”

Selena Gomez won at Instagram this year. Year-end stats from the social media site reveal that she’s the ‘Most Followed Celebrity’ on Instagram with 103 million followers. She also has 8-of-the-10 most-liked celeb photos and 7-of-the-top 10 celebrity videos. All this despite a 3-month hiatus to focus on her health. Other famous femmes on the most-followed list are Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Beyoncé, and Kim Kardashian. The most-followed man, in position #6 overall, is Portuguese footballer Cristiano Ronaldo. Public figures who finally joined the site this year include Pope Francis, Kanye West, James Corden, and Tom Hiddleston. (Who do you wish would LEAVE social media?)

Late Cuban leader Fidel Castro’s obituary cost the “New York Times” more person-hours over the years than any other article in the newspaper’s history. (Thanks to several decades of updates … just in case he kicked.)
– “New York Times”


1965 [51] John Rzeznik, Buffalo NY, rock singer-guitarist (Goo Goo Dolls-“Give a Little Bit”, “Iris”)

1967 [49] Gary Allan (Herzberg), La Mirada CA, country singer (“Every Storm Runs Out of Rain”, “Nothing On But the Radio”)

1981 [35] Adan Canto, Acuña, Mexico, TV actor (‘Aaron Shore’ on “Designated Survivor” 2016)

1982 [34] Keri Hilson, Decatur GA, R&B singer-songwriter (“Pretty Girl Rock”, f/Kanye West & Ne-Yo–”Knock You Down”)

• “Bathtub Party Day”, encouraging a luxurious long, hot bath to develop inner peace. Almost everyone nowadays takes showers, so here’s a chance to recall a luxury from days gone by.

• “Communicate With Your Baby Day”. Experts say the best way to do that is to look directly at them when you talk, and use gestures.

• “International Day Of the Ninja”, when you’re encouraged to dress like a ninja and run wild in the streets.

• “International Day Of the Reef”, to emphasize the need to protect endangered coral reefs worldwide. (Quit walking all over them in your scuba fins … you’re killing them!)

• “World Soil Day”, first declared in 2013 to raise awareness of the importance of soils for food security, agriculture, as well as in mitigation of climate change, poverty alleviation, and sustainable development.

2006 [10] The little black dress worn by Audrey Hepburn in the 1961 film “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” is sold at auction in London for $800,000, 7 times the pre-auction estimate

2010 [06] The cast of TV show “Glee” perform on reality TV competition “The X Factor”

2013 [03] Spotify responds to critics by revealing how much acts can expect to earn from the music streaming site … an average of $0.007 per play

2008 [08] iTunes Music Store signs up its 300-millionth user

2012 [04] Alicia Keys scores her 5th #1 album on the ‘Billboard 200’ with “Girl on Fire”

2013 [03] Mexican singer-songwriter Thalia receives a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

[Tues] Miners Day
[Tues] Pawnbrokers Day
[Tues] St Nicholas Day
[Wed] “Hairspray Live!” (NBC)
[Wed] AACTA Awards (Sydney, Australia)

Computer Science Education Week / Cookie Exchange Week / Handwashing Awareness Week / Older Driver Safety Awareness Week / Recipe Greetings For the Holidays Week


Highlight bits culled from 23 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
Sleigh bells ring and I’m listening,
But I’m turning and a-twisting.
‘Cause I’m itching up here,
And scratching down there,
Walking in my Winter underwear.
Now the front is all battered,
And the back is all tattered,
But when I’m cold to the core,
I walk through the trap door,
And up into my Winter underwear.
– First published in “BS” 2002.

Going clubbing with limited cash? A business called ‘Smuggle Your Booze’ offers a range of products designed to help you conceal alcohol in places where it’s restricted. Among them …
✓ Fake Sunscreen Bottles (who would ever suspect … when it’s -10 degrees?)
✓ Booby Bags (look like gel inserts, only the gel is booze)
✓ Hand Sanitizer Combo Pack (two … two .. two bottles in one!)
✓ Fake Tampon Shot-Holder (bouncers won’t even touch these)
– First published in “BS” 2014.

Are you brave enough to take off the diapers?

☎ What odd food do you like to snack on? Mmm, kale chips.

When you open a pack of ‘Smarties’, which of its regular colors is most likely to be missing?
a. Red [CORRECT. They are the rarest.]
b. Yellow
c. Puce
– “Mental Floss Magazine”

I just bought a Jehovah’s Witness advent calendar. Every time you open a door someone tells you to F-off.

Question: This item will be touched an average of 25 times before it is purchased.
Answer: A greeting card.

The bad news is, time flies. The good news is, you’re the pilot.

Amanda Proudfoot @ Fox914 Colombo, Sri Lanka; Paul Cherry @ #1 Southern Soul [WCBT] Roanoke Rapids NC; Ken Landers @ Today’s Country 900 [CKBI] Prince Albert SK; Travis Freeman @ Radio Soo [WSOO] Sault Ste Marie MI; Ricky Jay @ Country 106.5 [WYRK] Buffalo NY; Randy @ Family Friendly WBGL, Campaign IL; and Dave Beany @ Energy 94.1 [KTFM] San Antonio TX.

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