Wednesday, December 7, 2011        Edition: #4646
Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

Actor Johnny Depp will ‘burn in hell’, according to a fundamentalist Christian group reacting to a song he’s recorded with Brit band Babybird called “Jesus Stag Night Club” (a good religion is one with a sense of humor – if you can find one) . . . Actress Scarlett Johansson tells the January edition of “Cosmopolitan” that marrying actor Ryan Reynolds was the best thing she ever did (then you might have considered making it last more than 5 minutes) . . . Meantime, “Us Weekly” has published a pic of Blake Lively on a ‘walk of shame’ leaving Ryan Reynolds’ place early in the morning (what was more embarrassing was having to line up and take a number) . . . The new villain ‘Khan’ in JJ Abrams’ upcoming “Star Trek” sequel will not be played by actor Benicio Del Toro, as they’ve been unable to come to terms over monetary issues (well thanks goodness it wasn’t philosophical differences) . . . Actor Bradley Cooper says that yet another sequel, “The Hangover III”, may start filming in September 2012; and if you’re suffering from ‘Jack Bauer’ withdrawal, it sounds as though filming on a “24” movie could start as soon as next April (thereby dragging a single day out into several more hours) . . . “Star Wars” character ‘Chewbacca’ will appear on next week’s Christmas episode of “Glee” (FOX) but don’t worry, the Wookiee won’t actually sing (they really have run out of ideas, haven’t they?) . . . Taylor Armstrong of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” (Bravo) already has a tell-all book written, called “Hiding From Reality” (exactly what we’re doing around our widescreen TV) . . . More “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” drama – Kim Richards has checked into rehab, according to reports (that’s become a prerequisite to landing any spin-off) . . . And 78-year-old retired CNN talk show host Larry King has announced that he wants to be cryogenically frozen when he dies (if you check show reruns, you’ll find this may have already happened about a decade back).


• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Lenny Kravitz (“Black & White America”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Lukas Nelson & Promise Of the Real (“Promise Of the Real”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Bear Hands (“High Society); Tom Morello (The Nightwatchman).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Trace Adkins (“Proud to Be Here”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Coldplay (“Mylo Xyloto”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – The Black Keys (“El Camino”).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Guest co-host Josh Groban (“Illuminations”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Jackie Evancho (“Heavenly Christmas”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Neil Diamond (“Very Best Of Neil Diamond”).

• Amy Grant & Vince Gill – Tonight they embark on their 6th annual “Twelve Days Of Christmas” tour in Baltimore, Maryland. The trek wraps with 2 shows in Nashville just before the holidays.
• Jason Mraz – He’s announced the establishment of the ‘Jason Mraz Foundation’, devoted to supporting a number of charities for which he has been an advocate, including Free the Slaves, True Colors Fund, VH1’s Save the Music Foundation and more.
• Linkin Park – They’re encouraging fans to give the gift of light this holiday season by providing solar-powered light bulbs to needy families in Haiti. Each $10 donation provides light to a Haitian family that’s without access to electricity.
• Nicki Minaj – A one-of-a-kind ‘Nicki Minaj Barbie Doll’ is being auctioned online for charity through December 19th. All proceeds benefit Project Angel Food.
• Scotty McCreery – His debut album, “Clear As Day”, has just been certified ‘Gold’ for sales of more than 500,000 units. It’s been atop “Billboard” magazine’s ‘Top Country Albums’ chart for 5 weeks now.
• Stone Temple Pilots – Guitarist Dean DeLeo tells “Rolling Stone” no plans are finalized as yet but he hopes the band will celebrate the 20th anniversary of their debut album “Core” next year by playing it in its entirety during a tour of theater-sized venues.
• Taylor Swift – She tells “Billboard” she’s already written 25 new songs to pick from for her next album, which is on target for a late 2012 release.
• Thirty Seconds to Mars – Tonight at NYC’s Hammerstein Ballroom they perform the 300th concert (on 6 continents) in support of their 3rd album, “This Is War”, released December 2009. That sets a new Guinness Record for ‘Most Shows Played in Support Of a Single Album’.


• The Peruvian government, worried about the fate of the country’s melting mountain glaciers, has come up with a novel plan … painting the Andes white. Four men are working with a specially formulated, environmentally-friendly white paint, changing the color of some 170 acres.
Besides keeping the tourists happy, it’s hoped the paint will reflect sunlight and slow down the melting process. (Talk about your snow job!)
• 14 luxury cars, including 8 Ferraris, several Mercedes, and a Lamborghini, have been totaled in what may be a record-setting pile-up on a rain-soaked highway in Japan. They were part of a super-car convoy heading from Kyushu to Hiroshima. There were no serious injuries, though 10 of the drivers were taken to hospital. Most of the cars are likely to be written off due to the severity of the crash. (In related news, a dozen Japanese insurance reps have suffered simultaneous heart attacks …)
– Bloomberg News
• A 13-year-old student in Albuquerque, New Mexico has been handcuffed and hauled off to a juvenile detention center for the extreme misdemeanor of … burping in class. According to a lawsuit filed against the school principal, a teacher, and a law enforcement officer, the boy was arrested without his parents being notified after he ‘burped audibly’ in PE class and his teacher called in a school resource officer to complain he was disrupting her class. (He’s now facing the gas chamber.)
– AP
• An Alaskan man who was stuck in his snowbound pick-up truck for nearly 3 days has survived on … beersicles. Clifton Vial was unable to dig himself out after the truck plunged into a snowbank, and he soon ran out of food and water. He did have some cans of beer though, so he cut the lids off and used a spoon to scoop out the frozen Coors Lite. (We’re guessing the cold-activated labels were as blue as his tender tootsies.)

In this age of social networking, it’s now possible to change all the holiday lights in a given neighborhood (or anywhere on Earth) at once just by sending a tweet that triggers a response from every house participating. That’s the idea behind ‘CheerLights’, a project that allows people around-the-world to sync their light displays via Twitter. That means that every set of lights on the CheerLights network will change color simultaneously, each time someone posts a tweet to the @Cheerlights Twitter account or uses the hashtag #cheerlights.

New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Smartphoneography’ – Sophisticated photography using a smartphone’s built-in camera. Also known as ‘iPhoneography’. (Wow, you can make phone calls on that camera?)
• ‘Undruggable’ – A disease-causing molecule for which it is extremely difficult or impossible to create a drug to inhibit. (“I took antibiotics every time I got the sniffles, now I’m so immune to them I’m undruggable.”)
• ‘War Texting’ – Using text messages to maintain a 2-way connection to a vehicle’s wireless connections (ie: OnStar) and exploit them, potentially breaking in. (That built-in hands-free phone connection seemed like such a nifty option.)

University of Illinois researchers have developed technology that could spawn a novel form of social network … one that tells users where and when people with specific interests and habits are likely to be. The system, named ‘Jyotish’, predicts where kindred spirits will congregate by drawing up maps of people’s movements based on the connections their smartphones make to Wi-Fi and Bluetooth networks. (“I’m dumping you, Alex. I know you’re going to cheat on me tomorrow night.”)
– “New Scientist”


• 40,000 people are served daily at the world’s busiest McDonald’s, on Pushkin Square in Moscow. (Wow, they’re really Russian them in and out of there!)
• 36 million tons of apples were grown in China in 2010, or roughly half the apples on Earth. (Leading to the new expression ‘for all the apples in China’.)
– “Smithsonian Magazine”


1949 [62] Tom Waits, Pomona CA, contemporary folk singer-songwriter (“Glitter & Doom Live”)/sometime actor (“The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus”, “Coffee & Cigarettes”)

1974 [37] Nicole Appleton, Hamilton ON, TV personality (“Cover Me Canada”)/former pop singer (All Saints-“Never Ever”)/wed to rock singer Liam Gallagher (2008)

1977 [34] Dominic Howard, Stockport UK, rock drummer (Muse-“Resistance”, “Uprising”)

1979 [32] Sara Bareilles, Eureka CA, pop singer (“King of Anything”, “Love Song”)

1988 [23] Emily Browning, Melbourne, Australia, movie actress (“Sleeping Beauty”, “Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events”)

• “Burning Of the Devil” (“La Quema del Diablo”) in Guatemala and on the Caribbean island of Antigua, when thousands of locals watch while a large effigy of his nastiness is set ablaze, followed by smaller fires throughout the capital cities. (Ah, the holiday spirit!)

• “Cotton Candy Day”, celebrating the sweet, sugary taste-treat that melts in your mouth. It was invented in 1897 as ‘Fairy Floss’, then renamed in 1920. In Greece, Israel, and India it is often referred to as ‘Old Woman’s Hair’.

• “International Civil Aviation Day”, established by the UN in 1994 to recognize the role of the   International Civil Aviation Organization in promoting the safety, efficiency and regularity of international air transport. (Yeah, where’s that happen?)

• “Letter Writing Day”, when we’re encouraged to take a few minutes to send someone a handwritten letter. Letter-writing has almost become a lost art. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone, either printed or in cursive?

• “Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day”, observed on the anniversary of one of the defining moments in American history, the 1941 Japanese raid on Pearl Harbor, Hawaii which caused the USA to enter WW2. It’s the 70th anniversary of the ‘date which will live in infamy’.

2001 [10] The caper movie remake, “Ocean’s Eleven”, featuring an all-star ensemble cast (George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Julia Roberts) opens in theaters (spawns the sequels “Ocean’s Twelve” in 2004 and “Ocean’s Thirteen” in 2007)

1991 [20] Michael Jackson’s “Black Or White” reaches #1 on singles chart; U2’s “Achtung Baby” debuts at #1 on album chart

2003 [08] The Conservative Party of Canada is officially recognized after the merger of the Canadian Alliance and Progressive Conservative Party of Canada

1934 [77] University of Washington running back Byron Haines scores all the points in a football game – for both teams – as he runs for a TD, then is later is pushed back into his own end zone for a safety (final score UW 6, USC 2)

[Fri] “I Melt With You”; “New Year’s Eve”; “The Sitter”; “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” open in movie theaters
[Fri] International Anti-Corruption Day
[Fri] Salesperson Day
[Sat] Full ‘Cold’ Moon
[Sat] Day Of the Horse
[Sat] Nobel Prize Day
This Week Is … Human Rights Week
This Month Is … Colorectal Cancer Education & Awareness Month


Use ‘em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – You are always running out of things to say at dinner. Try memorizing a whole lot of facts about commercial fish-farming.
• Taurus – A member of your family will be involved in a tragic accident with an electric nose-hair trimmer.
• Gemini – You walk into the kitchen to do something really important but instead you just eat some chicken and your house explodes during the night.
• Cancer – You will find yourself in a huge handbasket and before the end of the day it will be getting much warmer than you like.
• Leo – Take a look in the mirror and really see yourself as others see you. Not pretty, is it?
• Virgo – You feel hurt and betrayed by a lover on Friday. Remember, success is the best revenge. Failing that, murder comes a close second.
• Libra – An old friend will call today whom you haven’t talked to in years. He’ll remind you that you owe him money.
• Scorpio – You’ll be happy to know that this week brings you great romance and later, herpes.
• Sagittarius – Turns out that guy you liked isn’t ignoring you … he’s dead. Every silver lining has its cloud.
• Capricorn – You sneeze and pee your pants at the same time on a crowded bus. No one sits next to you ever again.
• Aquarius – You fart in front of your girlfriend on Saturday and blame it on the dog. On Friday, remember to buy a dog.
• Pisces – The planets collide this week and everyone dies. You are the only survivor. Good luck with that!


I’m an absolute, off-the-wall fanatical moderate.

Call in if you have the same name as a famous person. How has it affected your life?

• Where would you be if a mischievous elf arrived with presents on the ‘Christmas goat’?
a. Denmark. [CORRECT. The elf is ‘Jule-Nissen’; the goat is ‘Jule-Buken’.]
b. Italy.
c. Facedown under the punch bowl.
– Xmas_Traditions.asp

• What kind of paper was originally made from sails, canvas, and rope?
a. Gift wrap.
b. Manila paper. [CORRECT. First patented in December 1843.]
c. Newspaper.

Bring in a toy that makes noise. First caller to name what it is wins.

Question: According to a new poll, the best way to get a women’s full attention is to do THIS.
Answer: Gossip about her friends.

Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again.

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