Thursday, December 9, 2010       Edition: #4404
It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

Today 48-year-old actor Wesley Snipes is ordered to turn himself in to begin serving his 3-year sentence for tax evasion on earnings of $38 million dating back to 1999, but he says he’s still hoping for a last-minute ‘miracle’ to prevent him from going to prison (time to practice squatting for dropped soap, dude) . . . “Two-and-a-Half Men” star Charlie Sheen is going to play a zombie on an upcoming episode of the AMC series “The Walking Dead” (they’ll shoot him recovering from a weekend in NYC?) . . . 30-year-old actor Ryan Gosling is accusing US film censors of sexism after they slapped his film “Blue Valentine” (out December 31st) with a restrictive NC-17 rating due to a racy scene, while seemingly ignoring a similar scene in Natalie Portman’s new film “Black Swan” (well, that sucks – er, isn’t fair) . . . 42-year-old actress Donna D’Errico is criticizing airport security staff for singling her out for a body scan before a recent flight with her family, contending they only chose her because of her looks (don’t flatter yourself – “Baywatch” was a long, long time ago) . . . And it may be hard to believe but year-end accounting shows that bad singer-bad actress Jessica Simpson’s fashion line & accessories (shoes, jeans, swimwear, watches, fragrance, etc) raked in a whopping $750 million this year (maybe she’s finally found something she’s good at?).

• “A Barbara Walters Special: Oprah, The Next Chapter” (ABC) – Talk show host-turned-media mogul Oprah discusses the end of her daytime program and her upcoming cable network.
• “Barbara Walters Presents The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2010” (ABC) – The 2nd of Walters’ back-to-back specials interviews some of the year’s top newsmakers, including Betty White and Sarah Palin.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – She & Him (“Volume Two”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Keith Urban (“Get Closer”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Bachman & Turner, formerly of BTO.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Crystal Castles (“Crystal Castles II”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Two Door Cinema Club (“Tourist History”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Robert Plant (“Band of Joy”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Phosphorescent (“Here’s To Taking It Easy”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – The 88 (“The 88”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Keith Urban (“Get Closer”).
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Duffy (“Endlessly”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Natasha Bedingfield (“Strip Me”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Trey Songz (“Passion, Pain & Pleasure”).

• Beastie Boys – A new short film entitled “Fight For Your Right Revisited”, directed by Adam ‘MCA’ Yauch, will screen at the 2011 “Sundance Film Festival”. Actors Elijah Wood, Jack Black, Seth Rogen, and Will Ferrell are among those who appear in the film.
• Christina Aguilera – Word has it she & boyfriend Matthew Rutler (a former “Burlesque” set assistant) have been shacking up, staying in a bungalow at the Beverly Hills Hotel together.
• The Doors – In a formal clemency hearing today, Florida governor Charlie Crist pardons the late Jim Morrison, 41 years after he was infamously arrested for indecent exposure during a performance in Miami.
• Judas Priest – The metal legends have announced that their 2011 “Epitaph” tour will be their final world tour. It’s expected to hit major cities across the globe.
• Justin Bieber – Hey, kids! Biebs trading cards are out this week, a foil pack of 5 plus a sticker priced at $1.99. There are a total of 150 cards and 30 stickers so it’s estimated you’ll need to purchase 30 packs to complete the set. That’ll set you (or mom) back close to $60 in total.
• Lil Wayne – Today he’s scheduled to attend a court hearing regarding a paternity suit filed by a women who claims he fathered her child in 2002. Meantime, the daughter he acknowledges, Reginae Carter, just got diamonds & a Gucci purse from her pop … for her 12th birthday.
• Taylor Swift – Her latest album “Speak Now” (released October 25th) has already been certified ‘triple platinum’ by the RIAA, signifying sales of 3 million units.
• Willie Nelson – His 1980 hit “On the Road Again” is one of 30 newly-selected songs joining the Grammy Hall of Fame.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Beaver” – Mel Gibson’s long-delayed movie about a hopelessly depressed man who  finds solace by talking through a beaver hand-puppet is finally set to get a screening. Directed by actress Jodie Foster, who also co-stars with Gibson, the family drama is described as ‘coming soon’ to movie theaters, although the only scheduled dates so far are in Europe.
• “The Lincoln Lawyer” – This upcoming crime thriller stars Matthew McConaughey as a Los Angeles criminal defense lawyer who operates out of the back of his car. Ryan Phillippe co-stars as a Beverly Hills playboy charged with attempted murder; and country singer Trace Adkins plays the leader of a biker gang in the movie. The film’s scheduled to open March 18th.
• “On the Road” – 28-year-old Kirsten Dunst says she recently took a road-trip with her dad in order to prepare for this adaptation of the classic ‘beatnik’ tale by Jack Kerouac. British actor Sam Riley stars as ‘Sal Paradise’, a character based on Kerouac himself, while Garrett Hedlund plays the role of the adventurous friend ‘Dean Moriarty’. The movie’s due to debut next year.
• “Set Up” – Ryan Phillippe (“MacGruber”) is a late addition to the cast of the first movie from Cheetah Vision, run by rapper-turned-actor 50 Cent & a business partner. Fiddy stars in the diamond heist caper alongside Bruce Willis and Jenna Dewan Tatum (“Step Up”). The film is now shooting in Grand Rapids, Michigan for a 2011 release.
• “Struck By Lightning” – 20-year-old Emmy-nominated “Glee” actor Chris Colfer (‘Kurt Hummel’) has written the screenplay for this coming-of-age comedy in which he’s aiming to star himself. The script will be shopped around studios in the New Year, with the goal of beginning production next Summer.
• “Trainspotting 2” – Director Danny Boyle (“Slumdog Millionaire”) is considering a sequel to his 1996 film that starred Ewan McGregor, Robert Carlyle, and Jonny Lee Miller. He says the original cast will be approached to see if there’s interest in doing another installment. The movie was based on the book by Irvine Welsh, who did write a follow-up called “Porno”.

The 27th ‘PNC Christmas Price Index’ of items in the seasonal song “12 Days of Christmas” is out. The cost of actually purchasing everything on the list is up 9.2% from last year.
1 partridge in a pear tree: $161.
2 turtle doves: $100 (increased of 78%).
3 French hens: $150 (up 233%).
4 calling birds: $599.
5 golden rings: $649 (30% increase).
6 geese a laying: $150.
7 swans a swimming: $5,600.
8 maids a milking: $58 (same as last year).
9 ladies dancing: $6,294 (15% increase).
10 lords a leaping: $4,766.
11 pipers piping: $2,356.
12 drummers drumming: $2,552.
Total: $23,435 for all items on the list.
– “Independent Online”

• China – Zhang Tiegang of Changsha has trained his dog Deng Deng to go shopping. After the pooch began begging to carry things home from the store in his mouth, Zhang built a special harness and attached saddlebags. Now Deng Deng is sent to the store on his own with some money and a list and he later comes home with the groceries and the change. (Better count it!)
• Japan – Architect Hideyuki Nakayama has designed a glass globe door knob that lets people look through it into the next room. As you approach the doorknob, you catch a glimpse of  what appears to be another world, waiting for you to enter and join, but in fact is a reflection of  the room on the other side of the door. (His previous job … voyeur.)
• Czech Republic – A bid to slow down traffic by installing life-sized cardboard cut-outs of mini-skirted policewomen has backfired. The cut-outs were placed at busy junctions throughout the country as a cheap alternative to traffic lights. But the ploy has actually doubled accident rates among males, who are driven to distraction by the leggy lady cops. (Amazing they’ve not all been stolen.)

• Do not attempt to shove everything back up the chimney.
• Do not re-gift something to the same person that originally gave it to you.
• Before re-gifting clothing, remove deodorant dust from pits and crevices.
• As a courtesy, wait at least a week before listing the item on eBay.
• Replace that crinkled & torn wrapping paper, cheapo! And crossing out the name on the gift tag so you can re-use it is downright miserly.
• Remember to apply a price tag, then remove most of it, revealing just enough to look legit.
• Don’t wait till next year to re-gift that calendar.
• Carefully remove all monogram stitching, personalized engraving, etc.
• Re-gifting a partially-used gift card is just tacky.
• Please, please, please! No underwear, no homemade wine, and no fruitcake!
– Adapted from / MSN Money

5. Kate Gosselin (“Kate Plus 8”) … $3.5 million.
4. Audrina Patridge (“The Hills”, “Dancing With the Stars”) … $3.5 million.
3. Bethenny Frankel (“Skating With the Stars”, “Bethenny Getting Married?”, “The Real Housewives of New York City”) … $4 million
2. Lauren Conrad (“BFF & Baby”, “The Hills”) … $5 million.
1. Kim Kardashian (“Keeping Up With The Kardashians”) … $6 million.

The abbreviation ‘Xmas’ for Christmas is of Greek origin. Since the word for ‘Christ’ in Greek is ‘Xristos’ (‘ess-WARE-thows’), which starts with ‘X’, the letter became used as a short-form for the entire word.


1934 [76] (Dame) Judi Dench, York UK, movie actress (“Quantum of Solace”, Academy Award-“Shakespeare in Love”)

1953 [57] John Malkovich, Christopher IL, movie actor (“Con Air”, “Dangerous Liaisons”)  COMING UP: “Transformers: Dark Of the Moon” (2011).

1957 [53] Donny Osmond, Ogden UT, pop singer/Vegas entertainer (“Donny & Marie” at the Flamingo since 2008)

1962 [48] Felicity Huffman, Bedford NY, TV actress (‘Lynette Scavo’ on “Desperate Housewives” since 2004)

1968 [42] Brian Bell, Knoxville TN, rock guitarist (Weezer-“Pork & Beans”, “Beverly Hills”)

1970 [40] Kara DioGuardi, NYC, “American Idol” judge (2009-10)/record producer/songwriter  UP NEXT: “Going Platinum”, a new singer-songwriter competition airing on Bravo in 2011.

1972 [38] Tre Cool (Frank Edwin Wright III), Frankfurt, Germany, rock drummer (Green Day-“Know Your Enemy”, “Boulevard Of Broken Dreams”)

• “Christmas Card Day”, commemorating the first commercial Christmas cards, commissioned by Sir Henry Cole in London, England in 1843, which featured an illustration by John Callcott Horsley. His cheery little card depicting a family with glasses raised in a Christmas toast was widely denounced at the time as promoting drunkenness.

• “Homemade Gift Day”. Better start now if you hope to have that ugly knitted hat finished in time for the big day!

• “International Anti-Corruption Day”, to raise awareness of corruption and of the role of the United Nations Convention Against Corruption in combating and preventing it.

• “National Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony”, this afternoon on the Ellipse before the White House in Washington DC. Highlights include the 87th lighting of the tree at 5 pm ET; and performances by rapper Common, “America’s Got Talent” soprano prodigy Jackie Evancho, singer Jim James of My Morning Jacket, blues legend BB King, singer-songwriter Sara Bareilles, and pop group Maroon 5.

• “Pastry Day”, a fun day created to encourage you to make, and of course eat, your favorite pastries. Initiated by the ‘Danish’?

1965 [45] 1st broadcast of the TV special “A Charlie Brown Christmas”

2005 [05] Oscar-winning movie “Brokeback Mountain”, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger & Michelle Williams, opens in theaters

2008 [02] NBC-TV announces “Tonight Show” host Jay Leno is moving to primetime (as it turns out … ever so briefly)

1851 [159] 1st ‘YMCA’ in North America (Montréal)

1907 [103] ‘Christmas Seals’ go on sale for the first time, to support the American Lung Association

1968 [42] 1st ‘Computer Mouse’ is introduced, by far the most popular pointing device used to interact with computers

1995 [15] Canada Post announces that Santa Claus has been given his own postal code … H0H-0H0 (some 10,000 Canada Post volunteers now answer children’s letters addressed to Santa each year)

1979 [31] ‘World’s Largest Turkey’ (77 lbs/35 kg) is auctioned for $4,000 in London, England

[Fri] Day Of the Horse
[Fri] Human Rights Day
[Fri] Nobel Prize Day
[Sat] Nobel Peace Prize Concert (Oslo)
[Sat] Worldwide Candle Lighting Day
[Sun] Poinsettia Day
This Week Is … Drunk Drivers Awareness Week
This Month Is … Write a Business Plan Month


• “He sees you in the bathtub, posts pics of it online . . .”
• “You’re beginning to look a lot more pretty, I’ve had six eggnogs …”
• “O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum, why does your name sound Jewish?”
• “I saw mommy kissing Mrs Claus …”
• “Come on it’s lovely weather for a lap-dance together with you …”
• “On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a restraining order.”
• “Rudolph roasting on an open fire …”
• “It’s a beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight, likely ‘cause we’re all so full of rum.”
• “Joy to the world, their season’s done, the [Bills] can lose no more!”

What is absolutely the best tune to sing along with while driving?

Just when you think you’ve won the rat race, along come faster rats.

Today’s Question: A new study shows there’s been a 50% increase in online searches for THIS over the past year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Pirated downloadable books. “Breaking Dawn” by Stephanie Meyer registered the most pirated copy searches. (

Humor is a rubber sword … it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

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