Friday, December 9, 2011       Edition: #4648
It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
The cover of the January issue of “Playboy” magazine featuring starlet Lindsay Lohan’s buzzed-about pictorial has leaked online a week before it was set for a sneak preview on the “Ellen Degeneres Show” (what we’ve learned is the only thing she won’t be baring is her teeth) . . . No-strings movie star George Clooney’s girlfriend Stacy Keibler has tweeted a pic of a baby & a puppy with the slogan: ‘My Two Loves’ (exit George, stage right!) . . . “Sex & The City” author Candace Bushnell has filed for divorce, claiming her husband had an affair (thereby generating material for a 3rd movie) . . . “Harry Potter” actor Daniel Radcliffe has been named ‘Entertainer Of the Year’ by “Entertainment Weekly” magazine (any dissenters?) . . . TMZ.com is reporting pseudo-musicians Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz are now officially divorced (seems not even her newest nose job could stop it!) . . . “Saturday Night Live” comic Jason Sudeikis is being romantically linked to yet another young Hollywood hottie, this time it’s Olivia Wilde (he ain’t pretty so must have some sort of impressive hidden talent) . . . The divorce of “Dexter” stars Michael C Hall & Jennifer Carpenter is finally official (seemed to drag on forever – kinda like the current season) . . . This week 50-year-old “Survivor” host Jeff Probst quietly married his 40-year-old girlfriend Lisa Ann Russell in a private ceremony in an LA home (let’s hope he’s never sent to sleep on Redemption Island, aka the couch) . . . And with the NBA lockout finally over, RadarOnline.com is reporting Kim Kardashian’s estranged husband, free agent Kris Humphries, is hoping to sign with a team but it most likely won’t be his former team New Jersey Nets (why not try the LA Lakers, so you can be near all the other ‘K’ people?).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Amazing Race” (CBS/CTV) – Sunday the final 3 teams race to Atlanta, Georgia where the winning team is awarded the $1 million prize.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Lady Gaga (“Born This Way”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight David Guetta f/Usher (“Without You”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight M83 (“Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight Needtobreathe (“The Reckoning”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight ‘Lady Soul’ Aretha Franklin (“Take a Look: Aretha Franklin Complete on Columbia”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Young Jeezy (“Thug Motivation 103: Hustlerz Ambition”, out December 20th).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Today guest co-host Josh Groban (“Illuminations”).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Katy Perry (“Teenage Dream”); musical guest Robyn (“Body Talk Pt 2”), who opened during Perry’s recent “California Dreams” tour.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Jackie Evancho (“Heavenly Christmas”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Adam Lambert – He sang with Queen guitarist Brian May & drummer Roger Taylor at the “MTV Europe Awards” November 6th and now it looks like they might take that show on the road. Taylor tells Billboard.com there’s nothing signed yet but they are talking about live dates.
• Britney Spears – Her trainer Derek DeGrazio has gotten the boot for restricting her diet too much, reports “In Touch”. Now that she’s in a stable relationship, just-turned-30 Britney apparently doesn’t want to worry about every single thing that goes into her mouth anymore.
• Kenny Chesney – This weekend, 8 more shows go on sale for his 2012 “Brothers Of the Sun Tour” with Tim McGraw. Last Saturday, nearly 275,000 tickets were sold for the first 8 dates.
• Lily Allen – Since having a baby girl November 25th, the Brit pop singer has been working on songs to accompany a new stage musical version of “Bridget Jones’ Diary”, set to debut some time next year. Meantime, rumor has it Lily has gone all vintage and named her baby ‘Ethel’.
• Michael Bublé – His new seasonal album “Christmas” is the #1 top-seller with 293,000 units sold over the past week, according to Nielsen SoundScan.
• Nine Inch Nails – Trent Reznor & co-hort Atticus Ross scored the soundtrack for the upcoming film “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” (out December 21st), which is released today. It includes a cover of Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song”.
• Rufus Wainwright – He’s revived his family Christmas concerts, “A Not So Silent Night”, after a 2-year hiatus due to the death of his mother, folk icon Kate McGarrigle. The shows (Sunday in Montréal, Thursday in NYC) include his sister Martha, dad Loudon, and aunt Anna McGarrigle.
• Zac Brown Band – Saturday CMT premieres the “Zac Brown Band – Live at Red Rocks” special, which includes the debut of their brand new song “Sweet Annie”. Their sold-out shows at the Colorado amphitheater this past September drew some 20,000 fans.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “New Year’s Eve” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): The lives of several couples and singles in NYC intertwine over the course of one December 31st in this sorta-sequel to 2010’s “Valentine’s Day”. Cast includes Ashton Kutcher, Jessica Biel, Katherine Heigl, Robert De Niro, Zac Efron.
NET: http://newyearsevemovie.warnerbros.com/index.html
• “The Sitter” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Would you leave your children in the care of Jonah Hill? He plays a college student on suspension who is coaxed into babysitting the kids next door, though he’s fully unprepared for the wild night ahead of him.
NET: http://www.thesittermovie.com
• “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” ( R-Rated Thriller ): In this adaptation of the 1974 John le Carré thriller, Gary Oldman plays ‘George Smiley’, a British MI6 operative tasked with uncovering a Soviet mole during the bleakest days of the Cold War. Co-stars Colin Firth, Tom Hardy.
NET: http://www.tinker-tailor-soldier-spy.com

TOP ALBUMS 2011:
According to today’s issue of “Rolling Stone” magazine, these are the best of the year …
5. “The King of Limbs”, Radiohead.
4. “Helplessness Blues”, Fleet Foxes.
3. “So Beautiful or So What”, Paul Simon.
2.  “Watch the Throne”, Jay-Z & Kanye West.
1. “21”, Adele (“Rolling In the Deep” has been named ‘Best Single of 2011’ by the magazine).
– Dawn.com

HAPPY STARTS AT HOME:
Workaholics who try to make up for an unhappy home life by chaining themselves to a desk are deluding themselves, according to a new study. In a Kingston University survey of more than 10,000 people in 30 countries, the study has found there is, in fact, a link between job and life satisfaction – especially for the main earners in households. Happiness at home affects your job and vice versa. However, there is no evidence that people who are very unhappy at home will feel ‘compensated’ by work in any way. (What if you work at home?)
– Telegraph.co.uk

BS QUICKIES:
• The ‘Men’s Underwear Index’, developed by economist Alan Greenspan, suggests that when men are struggling financially, they’re less likely to replace their underwear and more likely to wear it out completely before buying new. Well tightie-whitie sales have in fact been off throughout the recession but have recently shown an uptick. (Things might be looking up!)
– “Mental Floss Magazine”
• This week Wisconsin governor Scott Walker signed into law a bill that allows homeowners to legally … kill intruders. The bill, nicknamed the ‘Castle Doctrine’, creates a presumption of legal immunity for someone who kills or injures a person breaking into his or her home, vehicle, or workplace. (Geez, you don’t wanna jump in the wrong car at the Madison Mall by accident.)
– MSNBC.com
• An ‘Occupy Wall Street’ protester has landed a job with … a Wall Street investment firm. Tracy Postert spent 15 days protesting in Zuccotti Park, all the while holding a sign saying she was seeking ‘full-time employment’. An analyst for John Thomas Financial Brokerage spotted the sign, asked for a résumé, and she was hired shortly after. (Isn’t this defecting to the enemy?)
– “New York Post”

HOW TO OPEN FROZEN CAR DOORS:
There are 2 different problems that can cause a car door not to open in Winter cold. First, the entire door might be sealed in ice. To fix this, you can warm up some water to pour over it (don’t bring it to a boil, as it could cause the glass to expand and shatter), or use a hairdryer or windshield washer fluid to melt away the ice. If the problem is a frozen lock, you can heat the key with a lighter and let it sit in the lock a few moments. If you don’t have a lighter, try coating the key in washer fluid or sucking on it to warm it up. (Ew, you don’t know where it’s been!)
– LifeHacker.com

DID YOU KNOW?
• Some Japanese dog owners send their pets to school to learn yoga. It’s thought it can help to relieve the stress of city dog’s life.
– “Details Magazine”
• You had a 52.4% chance of seeing a fight during an NHL game during the 2010-2011 season, as there were 1,230 games and 645 altercations.
– “NY Times”

BS CHRONOMETER 12.09.11


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1934 [77] (Dame) Judi Dench, York UK, movie actress (“Quantum of Solace”, Academy Award-“Shakespeare in Love”)  UP NEXT: Plays ‘M’ in “Skyfall”, the 23rd ‘James Bond’ film.

1953 [58] John Malkovich, Christopher IL, movie actor (“Con Air”, “Dangerous Liaisons”)

1957 [54] Donny Osmond, Ogden UT, pop singer/Vegas entertainer (“Donny & Marie” at the Flamingo since 2008)

1962 [49] Felicity Huffman, Bedford NY, TV actress (‘Lynette Scavo’ on “Desperate Housewives” since 2004)

1968 [43] Brian Bell, Knoxville TN, rock guitarist (Weezer-“Pork & Beans”, “Beverly Hills”)

1972 [39] Tre Cool (Frank Edwin Wright III), Frankfurt, Germany, rock drummer (Green Day-“Know Your Enemy”, “Boulevard Of Broken Dreams”)

1980 [31] Simon Helberg, LA CA, TV actor (‘Howard Wolowitz’ on “The Big Bang Theory” since 2007)

SATURDAY –
Movie actor-director Kenneth Branagh (“Thor”) is 51; TV chef Bobby Flay (Food Network) is 47; Former rock drummer Meg White (White Stripes) is 37; Rock bassist Noah Harmon (Airborne Toxic Event) is 30.

SUNDAY –
Pop singer Brenda Lee (“Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”) is 67; Rock bassist Nikki Sixx (Motley Crue) is 53; Movie actress Mo’Nique (“Precious”) is 44; Rapper-actor Mos Def (“Cadillac Records”) is 38; Movie actress Hailee Steinfeld (“True Grit”) is 15.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Christmas Card Day”, commemorating the first commercial Christmas card, commissioned by Sir Henry Cole in London, England in 1843, which featured an illustration by John Callcott Horsley. His cheery little card depicting a family with glasses raised in a Christmas toast was widely denounced at the time as promoting drunkenness.
• “International Anti-Corruption Day”, to raise awareness of corruption and of the role of the United Nations Convention Against Corruption in combating and preventing it.
• “Pastry Day”, a fun day created to encourage you to make, and of course eat, your favorite pastries. Initiated by the ‘Danish’?
• “Salesperson Day”, observed annually on the 2nd Friday in December, celebrating sales reps as essential resources for customers. The talented salesperson, it’s said, filters the vast amount of info available to help customers make the best purchasing decisions.

SATURDAY –
• “Cold Moon”, the Full Moon of December that is known variously as the “Oak Moon”, “Birth Moon”, “Moon Before Yule”, or “Long Night Moon”.
• “International Human Rights Day”, honoring the UN Declaration of Human Rights in 1948.
• “International Shareware Day”, celebrating public domain software you can try before you buy.
• “Nobel Prize Awards Day”. The awards were established by the will of Swedish chemist and dynamite inventor Alfred Nobel and have been held on this date since 1901. The current value of each award is over $1 million. Evanescence will perform at this year’s “Nobel Peace Prize Concert” Sunday night in Oslo, Norway (CNN International). Also on the bill: David Gray, Jill Scott, Sugarland, and Matthew Morrison from “Glee”.

SUNDAY –
• “Angry Birds Day” according to Rovio, the small Finnish company behind the extremely popular mobile game app that’s become a hit worldwide. In fact, last year’s event drew street gatherings in Jakarta, Indonesia and Budapest, Hungary.
• “International Mountain Day”, a UN observance since 2002 to draw attention to the important roles that mountainous regions play in water and food supply.
• “Noodle Day”, celebrating everyone’s favorite long ‘n slippery food. Besides the versatile egg noodle, there are a gazillion types of pasta noodles including: Angel Hair, Fettuccine, Fusilli, Gnocchi, Lasagne, Macaroni, Manicotti, Penne, Rigatoni, Rotini, Spaghetti, Vermicelli, and Ziti.
• “UNICEF Birthday”, commemorating the 1946 establishment of the United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund.
• “Worldwide Candle Lighting Day”, the 15th annual observance on the 2nd Sunday of December, when we’re encouraged to light candles at 7 pm local time to honor and remember children worldwide who have died at any age from any cause.
NET: http://bit.ly/529dgT

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

2008 [03] NBC-TV announces “Tonight Show” host Jay Leno is moving to primetime (as it turns out … ever so briefly)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1991 [20] A long legal battle over the Bob Marley estate ends when the nearly $12-million legacy is awarded to his widow Rita and her children

1992 [19] After more than 30 years, Rolling Stones bassist Bill Wyman quits the band

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1851 [160] 1st ‘YMCA’ in North America (Montréal)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1979 [32] ‘World’s Largest Turkey’ (77 lbs or 35 kg) is auctioned for $4,000 in London, England

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Poinsettia Day
[Tues] “2011 CMT Artists Of the Year” (CMT)
[Tues] Cocoa Day
[Tues] Violin Day
[Tues] New Calendar Day
[Wed] Bouillabaisse Day
[Wed] Monkey Day
This Week Is … Drunk Drivers Awareness Week
This Month Is … Write a Business Plan Month

BULL’S BITS


BS THINGS LEARNED FROM KIDS:
• Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
• If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
• A 3-year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
• When you hear the toilet flush and the words ‘uh-oh!’, it’s already too late.
• Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke … lots of it.
• Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.
• Swimming pool filters do not like Jell-O.
• Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
• Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise while driving.
• Super Glue is forever.
– Adapted from Poddys.com

BS PHONE STARTER:

What are 3 words to live by? Just 3 … no cheating!

BS RANDOM JOKE:

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 1-in-4 of us suspects we’ll do THIS at the office Christmas party, according to a poll.
Answer: Kiss a colleague.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Friends are people you can be quiet with.


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