December 19 2019

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Thursday, December 19, 2019 – Edition: #6598

Can You Believe This Sheet?

The Bull Sheet will be shutting down for the holidays Tuesday Dec. 24 – Friday Dec. 27, and also will not be publishing Wednesday Jan. 1 to observe New Year’s Day. All subscribers will receive account credits for missed service days. Thanks for a successful year of BS and Happy Holidays, all!

★ CBS is speaking out following weeks of controversy on “Survivor: Island of the Idols”. After Dan Spilo apologized to fellow contestant Kellee Kim amid allegations that he inappropriately touched her and multiple women, the network released a lengthy statement, explaining that they will be implementing new rules and regulations. The new measures include adding an extra on-site professional “to provide a confidential means of reporting any concerns, so that the production can address them promptly apart from the game.”  The show will also enhance its pre-production orientation with new anti-harassment, unconscious bias and sensitivity training for cast, producers and production crew on location.
★ A Superman cape worn by the late Christopher Reeve sold for a staggering $193,750 at auction on Monday. The piece of movie memorabilia was worn by Reeve in director Richard Donner’s classic 1978 flick, and is one of six that were used in the film. It was previously given away to fans as part of a worldwide contest to promote the film, and came with a photo of Reeve choosing the winner. Following the auction, it set a new world record as the “most expensive superhero cape sold at auction”.
(Wow! Niche category!)
★ Emma Watson is hiding copies of “Little Women” around the world for fans to find. She plays Margaret ‘Meg’ March in Greta Gerwig’s adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s 19th-century novel. Watson launched her feminist book club in 2016 and teamed up with ‘The Book Fairies’, who hide reading material in public places. For her latest initiative, she will be distributing 2,000 copies of “Little Women” across 38 countries, with ”a special note” inside.
★ Seth Meyers took to Instagram to share the hilarious mistake he found on his family’s holiday cards. He wrote: “Happy Holidays to Tom, Ellen and Peanut whose names were accidentally printed on the bottom of the Meyers family card!” He poked fun at the mix-up, saying that the name “Peanut” made everything OK, writing: “I’ll admit that if it was just Tom and Ellen it would have been rage-inducing but the inclusion of Peanut makes it hilarious. Is Peanut a pet? Probably. But maybe they are a small child or a live-in grandparent.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Margot Robbie, Gov. John Kasich, White Reaper
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kate McKinnon, Noah Baumbach, Dua Lipa
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jennifer Hudson, Jonathan Pryce, Sharon Van Etten featuring Norah Jones
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Lithgow, Ana Gasteyer
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Nicole Byer, Greg Fitzsimmons, Ron Funches
• “Conan” (TBS): Adam Sandler
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Liam Payne, Lea Michele
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Greta Gerwig, Boris Kodjoe, Nikole Hannah-Jones
• “The Talk” (CBS): Ana Gasteyer, guest co-host Brigitte Nielsen
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Anna Kendrick, Kathleen Turner, Lewis Capaldi
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Shin Lim, Rhea Butcher
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Jennifer Hudson, Joel Kim Booster
• “Miss America 2020” (NBC): Hopeful candidates from every state are judged on talent, smarts and passion for social advocacy in hopes that they will be the one to be crowned Miss America, a title that awards the winner a year to drive positive change for the next generation.
• “iHeartRadio Jingle Ball 2019” (CW): Performances by Jonas Brothers, Camila Cabello, 5 Seconds of Summer, Niall Horan, Dan + Shay, Lizzo, Monsta X, Lewis Capaldi, Fletcher, and Lauv.
• “FX’s A Christmas Carol” (FX): Ebenezer Scrooge experiences a dark night of the soul in an original take on Charles Dickens’ iconic ghost story.

• Post Malone – will headline “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve”. Other performers scheduled for the Time Square extravaganza include BTS, Sam Hunt and Alanis Morissette, who will appear with the cast of the hit Broadway musical “Jagged Little Pill”. Ryan Seacrest will host.
• Miley Cyrus — is adding more fuel to the fire amid rumors she’s forming a band with Cody Simpson. She has applied for ownership to the name “Bandit and Bardot”. That’s the same name on a new Instagram account that’s only following Miley and Cody.
• Chanel West — Sharon Stone is attempting to work out a settlement to end the lawsuit she brought against him. Earlier this year, she filed suit over the rapper’s song ‘Sharon Stoned’.
• David Lee Roth — has been announced as the opening act on KISS’ farewell tour for a run of dates between February and October 2020. Roth hasn’t toured as a solo artist since 2006.
• Skid Row – Their self-titled debut album turned 30 this year and former singer Sebastian Bach celebrated by performing the record in full on tour. He’s just revealed another 30-plus North American tour stops for 2020 beginning on March 25 in California.
• Dustin Lynch – says that he and his family are such loyal fans of the seasonal classic “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” that they exchange gifts labelled “From Cousin Eddie” which always have some significance to the film. They also enjoy watching the movie “several times” each December.
• Chris Stapleton – His “Traveller” album is the #1 selling country album of the decade, according to Billboard. The rest of the top 5, in order, are: Sam Hunt’s “Montevallo”, Florida Georgia Line’s “Here’s to the Good Times”, “Crash My Party” from Sam Hunt, and Luke Combs’ “This One’s for You”.

Mark Rober, the former NASA engineer who went viral last year by leaving boobytrapped boxes outside his home after having a package stolen from his doorstep, is back. He has unveiled a new, souped-up version of his creation. A YouTube video (which already has over 17 million views) breaks down how his “glitter bomb” works, and includes bonus footage of real-life thieves who meet their smelly fates. And this time around, Rober has a celebrity guest: Macaulay Culkin makes a cameo in the video and even takes the “fart spray” for a test run…just to make sure it works.
(It does.)
(I guess we don’t have to refer to them as “alleged” thieves if they smell guilty!)

One of the worst things about being outside in the cold weather is when your extremities are FREEZING. Actually, EVERYTHING is horrible about being outside in the cold, but go with me on this. Introducing: The Nose Warmer Company! Based in the UK, they will deliver you one of their strange-looking but fashionable (??) nose warmers for US$3.50-13.00 plus shipping. The Nose Warmer stays in place by latching the straps around your ears, and there are an array of fabrics available, like fleece and faux fur…and patterns, like animal print and solid colors. Yes, they will make people do a double-take if they see you with one on, but apparently they work, and some people are actually wearing them.
(Great until your nose starts running…)
(A perfect gift if you drew someone you hate for the office ‘Secret Santa’…)
(The problem is this: I wouldn’t wear one of these things in public. And to wear one, you have to go in public…)
You’ve got to see them to believe them…

From our Department of Awesome comes this: A New Zealand dog owner named Andrew Taylor has come up with what he calls a “Stick Library” for mutts. Noticing his dog Bella’s excitement about the prospect of fetching a stick whenever they visited the local park, Taylor collected a number of ‘dog-suitable’ sticks, and sanded them to make them smooth and clean.  Next, he crafted a small wooden box as a “depository” so all local dogs could borrow a stick to play with. After the box was put in the park, Taylor’s daughter invited people to attend a meeting to try out the new box. About 50 people with their pets showed up.
(How has this not been thought of before?)
(Good luck getting my dog to ever “return” one!)
(Now could someone please come up with a slobber-removal tool of some kind?)

(According to Facebook’s 2020 Topic and Trends Report, using data collected from Facebookers in 13 countries…)
⇒ Flexitarianism (USA):  With methane emissions in mind, but not wanting to give up meat entirely, flexitarianism is a majority plant-based diet that occasionally incorporates meat and fish.  (So does my diet…3 occasions per day, usually!)
⇒ Milk baths (USA):  A form of self-care that is supposedly moisturizing for the skin as well. (Want a milk bath? Just tell your toddler to pour his own drink at dinner!)
⇒ Podcasts (USA):  We’ll see them become so massive that Hollywood will increasingly capitalize on its fandom and creative freedom. (And that’s precisely when they’ll become uncool!)
⇒ Green rooms (Canada):  Greening up living spaces with indoor plants and sharing the results. “Plant parent” influencers are encouraging their followers to get greener.
⇒ Gut-friendly foods (Australia):  Expect to see a surge in foods like kimchi and ghee, or clarified butter. They’re packed with probiotics that strengthen the “gut biome” (good bacteria in the gastrointestinal tract).   Also on the radar: Chickpea and lentil pasta. (Crack that window, wouldja?)
⇒ Astrology (Argentina):  Here, Facebook users are considering how their birth charts impact their emotional intelligence, with a hospital even incorporating astrological personalities into its workshops for mental health patients. (Sounds like something a Capricorn would do!)
⇒ 1980s nostalgia (Brazil):  Millennials and Gen Zers are embracing the nostalgia of a time they never lived in. Facebook says 1980s cultural touchstones, like neon and lamé clothing and vintage tech like cassettes and 8-bit video games, “harken back to a “simpler time.” (Which bodes well for that Mötley Crüe/Def Leppard/Poison tour!)

The creator of modern internet password rules, the inventor of pop-up ads, and the inventor of ‘endless scrolling’ have all publicly apologized for their creations.


1924 [95] Cicely Tyson, New York City NY, movie actress (“The Help”, “Fried Green Tomatoes”)

1963 [56] Jennifer Beals, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Flashdance”, “The Book of Eli”)

1967 [52] Criss Angel (Christopher Sarantakos), NYC, Las Vegas illusionist (“Criss Angel: Believe”, “Criss Angel: Mindfreak”)

1970 [49] Tyson Beckford, Rochester NY, model (Ralph Lauren Polo)/TV host (“Make Me a Supermodel” 2008-2009)/named “greatest male model of all time” by Vogue magazine in 2014

1972 [47] Alyssa Milano, Brooklyn NY, TV actress (“My Name is Earl” 2007-08, “Charmed” 1998-2006, “Who’s the Boss” 1984-92)/movie actress (“Hall Pass”)

1980 [39] Jake Gyllenhaal, LA CA, movie actor (“Spider-Man: Far From Home”, “Brokeback Mountain”)

• “Look for an Evergreen Day”, saluting people for whom only a fresh-cut real tree will do for Christmas.  For them, the scent of fresh pine helps to capture the feeling of the holidays. (But remember…just because you find one, it doesn’t mean it’s yours!)

• “Oatmeal Muffin Day”, a day to enjoy the cholesterol-lowering benefit of oatmeal in your muffins … then slather on a ton of butter and enjoy!

• “Holly Day”, while the prickly leaves and berries make lovely additions to any holiday décor, eating holly can be bad for your health. The leaves and berries can cause nausea, diarrhea, vomiting and other issues. While toxic to dogs, cats and horses, consuming 20 or more berries can actually be fatal to children. (Happy Holly-days, here’s a deadly plant for you!)

• “Hard Candy Day”, a celebration of all types of hard candies—everything from lollipops to candy canes to caramels. (If you don’t have one, just ask any older lady carrying a purse. She has at least 30 in there…usually unwrapped.)

• “National Regifting Day”, the 3rd Thursday of December is the most common date for work parties and festivities. Regifting Day encourages you to avoid giving the usual cheap and undesirable presents and use the occasion to preserve the environment by ‘regifting’ a colleague.

[Fri] Games Day
[Fri] Go Caroling Day
[Sat] Crossword Puzzle Day
[Sat] Humbug Day

1997 [22] “Titanic” opens in theaters. It becomes the top-grossing movie of all time ($2.2 billion, currently #3), with a soundtrack that sells about 15 million copies, thanks mostly to the Celine Dion hit, ‘My Heart Will Go On.’

2001 [18] “The Fellowship of the Ring”, the first movie based on JRR Tolkien’s “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, opens in theaters in 16 countries

2014 [05] A study on advice given by talk show host Dr Mehmet Oz shows that only about 46% of his suggestions are supported by legitimate medical evidence

2005 [14] Elton John turns down an offer of close to $6 million to secure TV rights to his civil union to David Furnish

2014 [04] Darlene Love sings ‘Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)’ on “Late Show with David Letterman” for the final time (when she first performed it in 1986, it went so well that Dave made it an annual Christmas tradition)

1917 [102] 1st ‘National Hockey League’ games played (5,500 fans watch Montréal Canadiens beat Ottawa Senators 7-4, while 700 soldiers get in free to see Montréal Wanderers defeat Toronto Arenas 10-9)

2015 [04] 33 years after its release, Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” becomes the first album to sell more than 30 million copies in the U.S.


✓ The weight of a carat (200 milligrams), the standard unit of measurement for gemstones, is based on the weight of the carob seed.
✓ Linen can absorb up to 20 times its weight in moisture before it feels damp.
✓ The most popular sport as a topic for a film is boxing.
✓ There are no gasoline powered rental cars in Bermuda.
✓ Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than new cars.
✓ In Japan, condoms are commonly sold ‘door to door’.

Best of BS . . .

• All the gifts would say “From Santa Paws”.
• They would make us return the gift so they could go get it again.
• Mmmmm.  Bacon.
• Some people wouldn’t mind working retail during the holiday season.
• They would do a better job than most men.
• I’d probably get a phone with collar ID.
• All the presents would be buried instead of wrapped.
• Christmas morning would be Ruff.
• They’d make it clear to us “Who’s been a good boy?”
• They probably wouldn’t be forced to sit on the floor and beg for scraps during Christmas dinner.
• I don’t have a dog so I wouldn’t get shihtzu.
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2017

• Deer Pong
• Rackgammon
• Buck, Buck, Goose
• I don’t know what its called, but you sure get Blitzened playing it!
• Tic Tac Doe
• So You Think You Can Prance
• Stag, You’re it
• Antlers in the Pants
• Drinking until it isn’t just Rudolph who has a red nose
• Of course, the first rule of reindeer games is you do not talk about reindeer games
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

Watch your step:

What is your worst-ever Christmas shopping fail?


There is nothing quite as mean as giving a child something useful for Christmas.

1. Apply ornamental decorative items to the house’s connective passage ways. (Deck the Halls)

2. My parent’s mother was involved in an unexpected trampling incident with an antlered creature of the genus Rangifer. (Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeeer)

3. Bestowing an emotion of great delight or happiness on the 3rd celestial body in orbit around the sun. (Joy to the World)

4. A period of one and 5/7th weeks revolving around the winter holiday celebrated on the 25th day of December. (The 12 Days of Christmas)

5. The only thing I desire to acquire on the 25th day of December is a pair of processes attached to the forward section my jaw serving for the prehension and mastication of food. (All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth)

Question: The average woman spends between 3-and-4 hours a year doing THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Wrapping Christmas gifts.

Christmas is not a date. It is a state of mind.


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