December 18 2019

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Wednesday, December 18, 2019       Edition: #6597

100% Grade A Bull!

The Bull Sheet will be shutting down for the holidays Tuesday Dec. 24 – Friday Dec. 27, and also will not be publishing Wednesday Jan. 1 to observe New Year’s Day. All subscribers will receive account credits for missed service days. Thanks for a successful year of BS and Happy Holidays, all!

★ Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg will be the subject of a new documentary at Hulu. In August 2018, Thunberg, then a 15-year-old student, started a school strike for climate change awareness. Since then, the quiet Swedish girl on the autism spectrum has become a world-famous activist. The team behind “Greta” has been following her from her early school strike in Stockholm all the way to parliaments and massive international protests, documenting her mission to make the world understand the urgency of the climate crisis.
★ Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is releasing Christmas themed ice cream. He’s teamed up with American ice cream shop “Salt & Straw” – which is known for its inventive flavors – to release the “Dwanta Claus Holiday Ice Cream Pack”, which features five flavours, including two that Johnson helped develop himself. The two exclusive ”Naughty & Nice” flavors are inspired by some of his favourite indulgent treats. In the ”naughty” version, which is called ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Dwanta’, customers will find a booze-infused whiskey ice cream filled with peanut butter chocolate chip cookie dough and milk chocolate caramel fudge. The ”nice” flavour, named ‘The Rock’n Around the Christmas Tree’, is a fresh spruce ice cream with gooey frosted brownies, raspberry jam and red & green glacé cherries.
★ Johnny Depp has been granted the right to use testimony of two LAPD officers who claim Amber Heard had no visible injuries on the night she alleges she was the victim of domestic violence. On the night in question, Heard claims Depp hurled a cell phone at her that struck her in the face. She filed pictures of the marks on her face as a part of her restraining order against Depp. But an LAPD officer who was first on the scene, says she did not see any bruising or marks on Amber’s cheek while interviewing her about the alleged assault.
★ “Schitt’s Creek” fans ‘John’ and ‘Jonathan’ got engaged at the show’s pop-up event, in which they recreated sets from the series, in New York City over the weekend. John popped the question in front of “Rose Apothecary”, the store that David Rose and his fiancé Patrick run on the show. Schitt’s Creek co-creator and star Dan Levy responded to the engagement on Monday, writing, “Pitching this to Hallmark.” The final season of the show premieres Jan. 7.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Brie Larson, Jamie Foxx, Bryan Stevenson, Molly Hopkins, Yola
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Paul Reiser, Helen Hunt, Dua Lipa, James Blake
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Charlize Theron, Martha Stewart
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Mulaney, Rodrigo Santoro
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Laura Dern, Mark Duplass, guest host Melissa McCarthy
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Adam Sandler
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Margaret Josephs, Vicki Gunvalson, Brandi Redmond
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Rachel Brosnahan, Luke Kirby, Elizabeth Werner
• “The Talk” (CBS): Susan Kelechi Watson, Duff Goldman
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Michael B. Jordan, Paula Patton, guest co-host Andy Cohen
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Harry Styles, John Boyega
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Annie Potts, Rick Ross
• “Live in Front of a Studio Audience: All in the Family and Good Times” (ABC): Celebrities re-create an original episode from each of the classic TV shows
• “Survivor” CBS): Season 39 finale
• “The Masked Singer” (FOX): Season 2 finale

• Ariana Grande – two of her songs will be featured on the “Grammy Nominees 2020” album, which is set for release Jan. 17. Grande is represented by her smash ‘7 Rings’ and her collaboration with Social House, ‘boyfriend’. She is nominated for both record and album of the year.
• Chance the Rapper — has canceled his upcoming “The Big Tour”, after postponing it earlier this year. He posted that that he has decided to take time to focus on his family and creating new music. His second daughter was born in August.
• Mariah Carey – The “Queen of Christmas” has landed the #1 spot on the Hot 100 for her famous holiday hit, ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’. It’s the first time the 25-year-old song has hit No. 1. The song’s previous peak was No. 3 on the chart.
• Michael Bublé – says he was warned his career would be ”over” if he dropped out of the spotlight to look after his cancer-stricken son. He put his music on hold indefinitely after his eldest child Noah, now six, was diagnosed with liver cancer in 2016. Noah has beaten the disease and Bublé says that he cried for ”two hours” after his comeback show in Dublin last summer.
• Aerosmith — Foo Fighters, Alice Cooper, H.E.R., John Legend, John Mayer, Gary Clark Jr., the Jonas Brothers, Emily King and Yola will perform in homage to the group when they are honored with the 2020 MusiCares Person of the Year award on Jan. 24. The group is being recognized for their philanthropic efforts over five decades and impact on American music history.
• Mötley Crüe – Their manager says that some members of the band are working with a trainer and nutritionist to make themselves “the best they can be” in anticipation of next summer’s reunion tour with Def Leppard, Poison and Joan Jett. According to Allen Kovac, even when the tour was in the discussion phase, “these guys were already into regimens of how they get ready for a tour.”
• Randy Houser – was joined onstage by surprise guest Miranda Lambert at his New York City tour stop last Wednesday. Lambert joined him for a rendition of the iconic 1971 Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn duet, ‘After the Fire is Gone’. (***See Today’s Celebirthdays, below***)
• Charlie Daniels – has announced that his annual Volunteer Jam will return in 2020, with him and several of his superstar friends taking the stage at Bridgestone Arena in Nashville on Sept. 15. Launched in 1974, the Jam brings in artists across genres for an all-star show that benefits Daniels’ nonprofit, the Journey Home Project, which provides aid and resources to veterans returning from war.

A study says that having “Me-time” is more important for a healthy relationship than date nights. The new poll of 2,000 Americans found that of those in a relationship, 85 percent say getting time for yourself on a regular basis is the key to a healthy relationship. Eighty-two percent report that getting the proper amount of ‘me-time’ actually makes their relationship stronger, which was more than those who placed a priority on having date nights. Respondents said that the ideal amount of ‘me-time’ is 51minutes per day – about 6 hours per week. The top ways to spend that precious alone time was found to be hitting the couch and watching TV and movies (60 percent), reading books (56 percent), listening to podcasts (42 percent) and exercising (38 percent).
(You’ll notice that no one said that they spent their ‘me-time’ having to paint the living room . . . dear!)
(It’s funny the way that works out. She gets to enjoy her 51 minutes of ‘me-time’ at the exact same time that I spend 51 minutes every day shuttling the kids around, and around, and around!)
(Me-time is more important than date nights? Do you think she’ll be mad that I changed our restaurant reservation to a party of one?)

A pair of enterprising sisters in Australia want to help those who are too busy during the holiday season by decorating their Christmas tree for them – for a price. Veronika Gentile and Giovanna Avati are offering to spruce up people’s spruces (or whatever kind of tree they have) with flowers, lights and ornaments already owned by their customers. Gentile says she got the idea four years ago when she decided to go all-out in decorating her house for Christmas, and her friends liked what she did so much that they asked for help with their decorating. Now, she says that she and Avati typically spend two hours decorating trees for customers who feel they just don’t have time to do it themselves. But they’d better have more money than time. The sisters charge $26 per hour, money that they say will go toward their own Christmas expenses.
(For that kind of money, they’d better “have snow, and mistletoe, and presents on the tree”!)
(It’s expensive, but it would save me a lot of swearing!)


A survey of 2,000 people who drive regularly found:
• 64% of us think we’re good drivers in the winter.
• 91% of us don’t trust other drivers in winter weather.
• 76% feel fine in snow and sleet.
• 55% feel comfortable driving on icy roads.
• 90% feel very confident driving in the rain.
• 23% of us have at least one family member we won’t ride with, because we don’t trust their driving.

☞ Christmas Caroling:  You just don’t see groups of warmly-dressed people traveling throughout the neighborhood singing Christmas songs anymore. Not even for hot cocoa. (Is this a ‘Jingle Bell balk’?)
☞ Hand-Strung Popcorn Garlands:  A needle, some thread, freshly popped popcorn, and some fresh cranberries — Today, hand-strung popcorn garland is a rarity. (There’s ANOTHER thing that I can’t do with a needle and thread!)
☞ Holiday Cards:  Congrats to you if you still write out cards by hand. Double congrats if you actually mail them to friends and family. Although it’s been reported that some millennials are sending cards these days as part of a revival . . . (OK, millennial!)
☞ Real Christmas Trees:  Stats show that 82% of US households who put up a tree will be using an artificial one. (Although I’ve got to say, to my dog, it doesn’t make a bit of difference…)
☞ Advent Calendars:  The calendars, on which you open a door each day to reveal a picture, prayer, or sometimes a little piece of chocolate, have traditionally helped count down the days. Not many do it anymore, although there is a “luxury” version available from Tiffany’s, which sells for six figures.
☞ Printed Catalogues:  Remember the giddiness that accompanied the arrival of the Sears Wish Book? Today, while many companies send out catalogues, they are often just samplings of what is available online. (And remember circling just about EVERYTHING in the toy section?)
☞ Drunken Office Parties:  Many elements of office culture have changed over the years — and among the strides are companies either limiting alcohol intake at holiday functions or hosting a booze-free celebration. (And the office photocopier thanks them!)
(***See today’s phone starter, below***)

Thomas Edison and his partner, Edward Johnson, created the first electric lights for Christmas trees in 1882. Until 1903, when General Electric began to offer pre-assembled kits of Christmas lights, stringed lights were reserved for the wealthy and electrically savvy.


1943 [76] Keith Richards, Dartford UK, classic rock guitarist (Rolling Stones-‘Start Me Up’, ‘Satisfaction’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)

1946 [73] Steven Spielberg, Cincinnati OH, movie director-producer (“Indiana Jones” films, “Jurassic Park” films) COMING UP…”Cats”, 2019

1954 [65] Ray Liotta, Newark NJ, movie actor (“The Place Beyond the Pines”, “Goodfellas”)/TV actor (“Shades of Blue”, 2016-18)

1963 [56] Brad Pitt, Shawnee OK, movie actor (“Fight Club”, “Mr. & Mrs. Smith”) COMING UP…”Kajillionaire”, 2020

1975 [44] Sia (Furler), Adelaide Australia, pop singer (‘Elastic Heart’, ‘Chandelier’)

1975 [44] Randy Houser, Lake MS, country singer (‘How Country Feels’, ‘Runnin’ Outta Moonlight’)

1978 [41] Katie Holmes, Toledo OH, movie actress (“Batman Begins”, “First Daughter”)/TV actress (“Dawson’s Creek” 1998-2003)/Married to Tom Cruise 2006-12

1980 [39] Christina Aguilera, Staten Island NY, pop singer (‘Beautiful’, ‘Genie In a Bottle’)/TV personality (“The Voice” 2011-2016)/5 Grammy Awards, 30 million+ albums sold worldwide

1989 [30] Ashley Benson, Anaheim CA, TV actress (‘Hanna Marin’ on “Pretty Little Liars” 2010-17)/movie actress (“Spring Breakers”)

2001 [18] Billie Eilish, Los Angeles CA, pop singer (‘Bad Guy’, ‘Everything I Wanted’)

• “Answer the Telephone Like Buddy the Elf Day”. The idea is to answer: “Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?”, a quote from the 2003 Will Ferrell movie “Elf”.

• “International Migrants Day”, a day of solidarity for migrant workers, on the anniversary of the UN’s 1990 adoption of the International Convention on the Protection of the Rights of All Migrants Workers & Members of Their Families. (Catchy name.)

• “Roast Suckling Pig Day”.  “Here [co-host], put this apple in your mouth!”

• “Bake Cookies Day”. What’s the best kind of homemade cookie: Chocolate Chip, Oatmeal-Raisin, or Peanut Butter?

• “Flake Appreciation Day”, a fun day created to encourage us to take notice of snowflakes and to be mesmerized by each one that falls (And keep your “Everybody’s a snowflake these days” jokes to yourself!”

• “Wear a Plunger on Your Head Day”  We’re not exactly what you are supposed to do to observe this special day…

[Thurs] Holly Day
[Thurs] Oatmeal Muffin Day
[Fri] Games Day
[Fri] Go Caroling Day

1966 [53] Dr. Seuss’ “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” airs on TV for the first time

2009 [10] “Avatar”, directed by James Cameron, opens in movie theaters (with a reported budget of $300 million-plus, it’s said to be the most expensive movie ever made; fortunately, it’s also the most successful ($2.8 billion in worldwide box office) until this year’s “Avengers: Endgame”.  “Avatar 2” is slated for release in 2021

1983 [36] With Mick Jagger serving as best man, Keith Richards weds long-time girlfriend Patti Hansen on his 40th birthday in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

2011[08] One Direction play their first show, performing at Watford Colosseum in London. It does not go well. Niall Horan says, “We were just a joke.”

2006 [13] United Arab Emirates holds its first-ever elections


✓ The average office worker will write 50,000 to-do lists during his or her career.
✓ By age 50, your eyes will let in 20% less light than they did in your 20s.
✓ One acre of hemp can produce four times as much toilet paper as an acre of trees.
✓ The ancient Romans used chariots for travel and racing, not for battle.
✓ Right-handed men tend to put on their pants ‘right-leg first’ (and vice-versa).
✓ Drunk men smile more often than drunk women.
-BathroomReadersInstitute, WhattheFFacts

• Jingle Hell’s Bells
• Grandma Got Run Over by a Crazy Train
• What Sweet Child O’ Mine is This?
• Enter Santaman
• Rock You Like A Candy Cane
• I’m Dreaming of a Whitesnake Christmas
• Slayer Ride
• For Whom the Jingle Bell Tolls
• Little Drummer Boy’s 12-Minute Solo
• The Toys are Back in Town

Best of BS . . .

• Start your diet on December 24th
• Have a birthday on December 25th
• Give your daughter a gift certificate for a boob job
• Grandma getting run over by a reindeer
• Shoot your eye out
• Put me in charge of baking
• A well-wrapped charcoal briquette can easily be mistaken for a ring gift box
• Discuss politics
• Explain to the kids that “Santa” fell asleep and forgot to put the presents under the tree
• Invite Cousin Eddie
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

Is this too much Christmas?

Which holiday tradition is an absolute MUST for you each year?

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

Question: THIS happens to 7-out-of-10 dogs.
Answer: They get a Christmas gift.

No man is a failure who has friends.


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