Monday, February 24, 2020 – Edition: #6640
Another Sheetload of Bull!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ You could call it “The One Where They All Got Back Together”. The cast of “Friends” are heading back to Central Perk and celebrity fans, including Kate Hudson, Charlie Puth, Elizabeth Banks and more, are freaking out! The main cast of the NBC sitcom will be reuniting for an untitled unscripted special on HBO Max, nearly 16 years after the show came to an end in 2004. The stars will return to the original Stage 24 soundstage on the Warner Bros. Studio lot for the celebration special. (***CAUTION***) Kate Hudson wrote in response to the announcement: “I feel like the whole world just had a collective orgasm!”
★ Hollywood producer Jon Peters is reportedly engaged again just three weeks after his split from Pamela Anderson. The 74-year-old broke up with his actress fiancée Julia Bernheim – known professionally as Julia Faye West – in January to marry Anderson. But after ending his marriage to the “Baywatch” star with a text message, Peters is apparently back with Bernheim, and the pair are said to be engaged.
★ Chris Pratt was stunned after the remains of a couple missing for 80 years were discovered on the Iceland set of his film “The Tomorrow War”. Shortly before production on the sci-fi movie began, the frozen bodies were found in a crevice on the glacier on which Pratt and his co-stars were due to shoot. During an appearance on “Ellen”, Pratt said: “They were fully preserved in their glacier hiking clothes from 1930 or 1940. They had their supplies and rations. They were lovers and they fell down in a hole and just went missing…”
★ Sir Anthony Hopkins is stepping into the boxing ring to portray Mike Tyson’s famed trainer Cus D’Amato in a new biopic. The film will explore the relationship between the pair and how D’Amato, who died in 1985, served as a tough father figure for Tyson, shaping him into a boxing great who became the youngest heavyweight title winner in sporting history at the age of 20. The role of Tyson is yet to be cast.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Gwyneth Paltrow, Rep. Adam Schiff
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Tyra Banks, Rahm Emanuel, Hailee Steinfeld
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jake Tapper, Jacqueline Novak, Caroline Rose, Michel’Le Baptiste
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Christina Hendricks, Logan Lerman, Yola
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Guilia Rozzi, Tony Rock, Chris Franjola
• “Conan” (TBS): Paul Reubens
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Jenna MacGillivray, Golnesa Gharachedaghi
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Rahm Emanuel
• “The Talk” (CBS): Raven-Symoné, Issac Ryan Brown
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Juliette Lewis, Josh Radnor
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Trevor Noah
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Wilson Phillips, Ian Somerhalder, Pentatonix
• “The Voice” (NBC): Season 18 premiere. Nick Jonas joins coaches Kelly Clarkson, John Legend and Blake Shelton on the first night of blind auditions.
• “Little Big Shots” (NBC): Season 4 premiere. Host Melissa McCarthy introduces remarkable kids who touch hearts and bring laughs
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Weeknd – In a new interview, he confirmed that he continues to dabble with drugs to aid his creativity, but “when I perform, I’m completely sober and try not to even drink. I’ve learned to balance thanks to touring.” His new album “After Hours” comes out March 20.
• Drake – A study shows that he is among the artists who receive the most negative comments on Twitter. Shakira and Kanye West are also in the top three. At the top of the positive heap is Harry Styles, with Camila Cabello and Lady Gaga close behind.
• The Monkees — Bassist/keyboard player Peter Tork died at 77 on Friday after a long battle with a rare form of head and neck cancer. Bandmate Mickey Dolenz tweeted: “There are no words right now. Heart broken over the loss of my Monkee brother Peter Tork.”
• Alanis Morissette — dropped her new single ‘Smiling’ on Friday. It will appear on her album “Such Pretty Forks in the Road”, out May 1. The song was reportedly originally intended for “Jagged Little Pill the Musical”.
• Ozzy Osbourne — In a collaboration no one saw coming, Jason Momoa has taken on the role of Prince of Darkness in Ozzy’s new video for “Scary Little Green Men”. In the teaser, Momoa goes to bite the head off a (fake) bat, replicating one of the most infamous moments Osbourne’s career.
• Bon Jovi — have revealed details about their upcoming album, “Bon Jovi 2020”, which is set for release on May 15th. It will address “tough topics such as gun control, veterans’ issues, politics, the meaning of family, and much more. On Friday, the band shared a music video for the album’s lead single, ‘Limitless’.
• Bob Seger — dropped a lyric video for the classic song ‘Against the Wind’, which turned 40 on Friday. It follows the lyric video for ‘Night Moves’ on his newly launched YouTube channel. Seger wrapped up his farewell tour last fall.
• The Doors – guitarist Robbie Krieger will release his first solo album in 10 years, the Frank Zappa-inspired “The Ritual Begins at Sundown” on April 24. The first single, ‘The Drift’ is now streaming.
• Dixie Crush – Founding member and lead female singer Lindsey Lagestee has died at 25. She had parked her truck and was walking to a scheduled performance at Firewater Saloon near Chicago on Feb. 14 when she was hit by a car. She died in hospital three days later.
• Maddie & Tae — Taylor Dye is a married woman. She married songwriter Josh Kerr in Nashville on Friday.
• Dan + Shay — Shay Mooney and his wife, Hannah, have welcomed their second child, another baby boy. Ames Alexander Mooney was born on Friday in Nashville.
THE BRIDE WORE BROOKS:
A wedding can be a very formal occasion, and often there is a lot of pressure to make it impossibly grand. But there is a new trend that threatens to swing things in a completely opposite direction. Instagram is filling up with shots of brides exchanging uncomfortable fancy wedding shoes for good ol’ sneakers. The idea has become so popular that Converse has created their own “Wedding Collection” sneaker line in white, black and metallic colors. They come in low top and high-top designs, and are even unisex, so the bride and groom can match. Options include the words “husband” and “wifey” printed along the backstay (above the heel). And some brides go that extra mile and have their shoes embellished with sequins and rhinestones to match their dress, or have them monogrammed with details such as the date of the wedding and their future name.
HAVE A LOOK: https://tinyurl.com/yx2ftogn
(And if she decides at the last minute that she has to run…)
(Comes in handy when the bride is as tall as the groom!)
(…Yet still, for some reason, I’m not allowed to wear sneakers to work!)
FISHING FOR ANSWERS:
Scientists say that a fish may hold the key to stopping aging in humans. Certain creatures, including the African turquoise killifish have the ability to ‘press pause’ on its development by putting themselves into suspended animation as an embryo – a trait known as “diapause”. The phenomenon is thought to have evolved in response to pressures such as seasonal changes in the environment (drought, for instance), allowing the animal to put its development “on ice” until conditions improve. Now, scientists say they have analyzed the mechanism behind diapause, and have found that it has no impact on future fertility, lifespan or how large they grow as an adult. The team say it may be possible to apply this mechanism to the tissues or cells of human adults to help preserve them long-term. Could it be used someday to stop aging in humans? Prof Anne Brunet, co-author of the research from Stanford University, says that it could provide clues as to how to slow the aging clock, but at this point, it is still speculative.
(Could they maybe hurry up? Before my other knee goes?)
(If scientists are looking for ways to stop the passage of time, they should drop by one of our Monday morning meetings…)
(They might want to check with Rob Lowe to see if he has any tips!)
TO SQUAT OR NOT:
Japan has embarked on an all-out effort to phase out public squat-style toilets in time for this summer’s Tokyo Olympics. When a government survey showed that about 40% of the country’s public restrooms featured squat stalls in 2016, a program was launched to help municipalities fund conversion to sit-down toilets. Japan’s restroom revolution has fostered a toilet culture that has also evolved to embrace a popular anime character with buttocks for a head known as “Butt Detective”, and dayglo “poop museums” which offer a cute tribute to bathroom visits.
(Buttocks for a head? Finally, a superhero inspired by a politician!)
(They are replacing the ‘squat stalls’ because they didn’t want any ‘fall-in fallout’!)
(Good thing! Because I’d have no idea how to use my phone in a squat toilet!)
WHAT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH, WHERE:
(Stuff that you could actually legally get away with in certain countries…)
☞ Attach a flamethrower to your car: In South Africa, you can attach a “Blaster” to your car, which throws flames a distance of 5 meters from both sides of your car. (I’m guessing they don’t have emissions testing there?)
☞ Marry a dog: In India, you can legally marry any animal. The most well-known example is that of a New Delhi man who married a dog in 2007.
☞ Leave your children home alone: Although in many countries, the minimum age to leave kids home alone is not expressly stated, in Russia it is quite common for children to be left on their own.
☞ Drive a tank: In England, they are road legal, meaning that if you are able to get your hands on one, you could use it for your weekly shopping run…provided you disabled the weapons system and added rubber tracks. (They might get you for no turn signals, though…)
☞ Steal artwork: In the Netherlands, you can steal it and sell it, as long as you wait 20 years, when it legally becomes yours. (“I don’t know art, but I do know what I’d like to sell!”)
☞ Kill your husband: In Hong Kong, if a husband is guilty of adultery, his wife can legally kill him – as long as she does it with her bare hands. (I’m pretty sure that was in my wedding vows…)
DID YOU KNOW?
To celebrate the classic hamburger, McDonald’s is selling six-packs of scented candles that smell like your favorite Quarter Pounder ingredients — a bun, ketchup, pickles, cheese, onion and beef. They are available for purchase on the McDonald’s fan club website, but are currently marked “sold out”.
(Why would I buy a candle that smells like the smell that I spend 2 days trying to get rid of?)
BS CHRONOMETER 02.24.20
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950  George Thorogood, Wilmington Delaware, blues-rock singer/guitarist (w/The Destroyers-‘Bad to the Bone’, ‘One, Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer’)
1951  Debra Jo Rupp, Glendale CA, TV actress (Kitty Forman on “That 70’s Show”) 1998-2006, “The Ranch” 2017-2020)
1966  Billy Zane, Chicago IL, movie actor (“Zoolander”, “Titanic”)
1977  Floyd (“Money”) Mayweather Jr, Grand Rapids MI, retired pro boxer (held multiple world titles in five weight classes/retired with an undefeated record/world’s highest-paid athlete 2012-15)
1983  Matt McGinley, Geneva NY, rock drummer (Gym Class Heroes-‘Cupid’s Chokehold’)
1991  O’Shea Jackson Jr, LA CA, movie actor (“Straight Outta Compton”)/son of rapper Ice Cube
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Tortilla Chip Day”, saluting the invention by Rebecca Webb Carranza of Los Angeles during the 1940s. Rather than tossing misshaped tortillas from an automated tortilla machine into the trash, she cut them into triangles, fried them, and sold them for a dime a bag. They were an immediate hit!
• “World Bartender Day”, a day designed for you to appreciate the staff at your favorite watering hole. They work hard to keep their customers happy and often don’t get paid very well.
• “Shrove Monday”, also known as “Lundi Gras” (Fat Monday), and “Rose Monday” in Germany & Austria, where groups of ‘Faschingsanger’ (carnival singers) recall the funny and stupid events of the past year. Processions of decorated floats, regiments of ‘Fools Guilds’ in traditional uniforms, brass bands, horses & costumed groups wind through city streets.
• “Trading Card Day”, they are traditionally associated with sports; baseball cards are especially well-known. Cards dealing with other subjects like Pokémon are often considered a separate category from sports cards, known as non-sports trading cards. These often feature cartoons, comic book characters, television series and film stills. (Got it…got it…need it…trader…)
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Shrove Tuesday (Pancake Tuesday)
[Tues] Mardi Gras
[Wed] Ash Wednesday
[Wed] Levi Strauss Day
This Week Is…Eating Disorders Awareness Week
This Month Is…National Embroidery Month
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2011  CBS-TV announces it’s suspending production of “Two-and-a-Half Men” after star Charlie Sheen airs a scathing rant about the network and show creator Chuck Lorre in a radio interview (eventually dumped for Ashton Kutcher, Sheen moves on to “Anger Management”)
2019  Queen, with Adam Lambert on vocals, open the Oscars with a medley of ‘We Will Rock You’ and ‘We Are The Champions’. The biopic “Bohemian Rhapsody” goes on to win four awards, more than any other film at the ceremony
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1998  Elton John is knighted by Queen Elizabeth II during a ceremony at Buckingham Palace
2013  Janet Jackson reveals that she & Wissam Al Mana, a billionaire investor from Qatar, have gotten married in a quiet, secret ceremony sometime in 2012
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2008  Ailing 82-year-old Fidel Castro retires as President of Cuba after nearly 50 years and turns the reins of power over to his brother Raul (at the time a spry 77-year-old)
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Blue whales eat approximately half a million calories in one bite.
✓ Kleenexes were originally developed as gas mask filters.
✓ McDonald’s once made bubblegum-flavored broccoli.
✓ Cabbage was once considered an aphrodisiac.
✓ Cats have fewer toes on their back paws.
✓ While men see the average woman as average looking, women see the average man as below-average looking.
BS FAKE BEACH FACTS:
• The best beach bods are at the nudie beaches.
• You can make friends there by approaching random strangers and offering to rub them down with sun tan lotion. Pantsless.
• Winter is the best time to visit.
• That’s really kitty litter.
• Everyone you meet there ends up transferring to your school so you can fall in love forever.
• I own some Arizona ocean front property, in case you’re looking.
• Jellyfish go great with peanut butter.
• Walking to your car with sand in your suit feels fantastic.
• Actual sex on the beach is better than the drink of the same name.
• Socks with sandals are perfectly acceptable.
Best of BS . . .
BS REJECTED WORKPLACE MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS:
• “Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.”
• “Plagiarism Saves Time.”
• “When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.”
• “Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.”
• “TEAMWORK … means never having to take all the blame.”
• “Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.”
• “Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings … they did it by killing everyone who opposed them.”
• “Hang in there, retirement is only 30 years away!”
-First published in BS in 2010
BS WEB GOODIE:
Spring drum training: https://tinyurl.com/qnaezul
(Give contestant the clues, they must tell you what all three have in common…)
• Bermuda, love, right
(Answer: They are all triangles)
• black, green, mint
(Answer: They are all types of tea)
• person, shoe, South Korea
(Answer: They all have a soul – or Seoul)
BS PHONE STARTER:
What subject do you love to ‘geek out’ about?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Why is it that builders are afraid to have a 13th floor, but publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 63% of dog owners say their dog is happiest — WHEN?
Answer: They are being brushed or groomed
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.