Thursday, February 16, 2006        Edition: #3220
Ahhh, It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

TODAY movie actress Halle Berry  receives the annual ‘Hasty Pudding Award’ after being named ‘Woman of the Year’ by Harvard University’s student drama group (NET: . . . The Humane Society has asked the Food Network to stop using ‘foie gras’ on its shows, as the production of the delicacy often involves the cruel force-feeding of ducks & geese (‘foie gras’ literally means ‘fat liver’ – hey, [co-host] could be a big-time source!) . . . An upcoming graphic novel from famed ‘Batman’ writer Frank Miller entitled “Holy Terror, Batman!”, will see the ‘Caped Crusader’ face off against al-Qaeda operatives who attack ‘Gotham City’ (why not – nobody else seems capable of finding Osama)  . . . Movie star Tom Cruise (who really IS getting married … honest!) is threatening to sue author Andrew Morton (“Diana, Princess of Wales”) after discovering the acclaimed biographer has hired former gay adult actor Paul Baressi to probe on-going speculation that Cruise is secretly gay . . . Perhaps surprisingly, “Brokeback Mountain” has been passed to screen in its entirety by the film censors in morally-strict Singapore, in spite of the country’s stringent laws against homosexuality (proof of the power of good story-telling?) . . . After making a big comeback in 2005, “Lollapalooza” is returning to Chicago’s Grant Park AUGUST 4-6th, but no band’s have yet been officially announced so far . . . THIS WEEK Britney Spears briefly checked into the Malibu Urgent Care Center on her way home from the “Will & Grace” set THIS WEEK (where she’s shooting her guest shot for the APRIL 13th episode), reportedly complaining of stomach cramps (apparently brought on by the thought of going home to K-Fed).

• Black Crowes – THIS SPRING frequently feuding brothers Chris & Rich Robinson are hitting the road together for their first-ever all-acoustic tour.
• Elton John – MARCH 5th his annual post-awards “Oscar” party will feature a performance by John Legend.
• Jennifer Lopez – She says her secret to looking good is plenty of sleep. Well, she hasn’t been doing much else of late.
• Phil Vassar – He’s been nominated for a “Daytime Emmy Award” for ‘Outstanding Original Song’ for “Live For Today”, a tune that’s used during a regular segment on NBC-TV’s “Today Show”.
• Van Halen – CBS-TV is now firmly denying recent reports that the group is participating in the 2nd season of its summer show “Rock Star”. Could somebody make up their freakin’ mind?
• Willie Nelson – He’s recorded the song “Cowboys Are Frequently, Secretly (Fond of Each Other)”, written in 1981 by Texas-born songwriter Ned Sublette. At present it’s exclusively available from iTunes but plans are to include it on a future album and produce a music video.

Yet another “Friday the 13th” movie is in the works, the 11th installment in the series, scheduled for release on Friday, OCTOBER 13th THIS YEAR . . . Denzel Washington & Russell Crowe are in talks to co-star in “American Gangster”, about a 1960s heroin kingpin who smuggles drugs in the coffins of American soldiers returning from the Vietnam War . . . LAST YEAR Samuel L Jackson turned down a role in “Get Rich Or Die Tryin’” flat, but it seems he’s had an about-face in his opinion of 50 Cent’s acting ability, agreeing to co-star with the rapper in the upcoming “Home of the Brave” as an army medic returning home from the war in Iraq . . . Aging siren Sharon Stone (soon-to-be 48) is hoping “Basic Instinct 2″ resurrects her film career, but leaks from the film’s crew claim her performance was so bad, it had to be assembled line-by-line and sometimes word-by-word in the edit suite . . . . Looking to change her ‘goody-two-shoes’ image, Hilary Duff is in negotiations to star in “Beverly Hills Tutor”, produced by none other than former Hollywood madame Heidi Fleiss . . . And for a new film about Mother Teresa, Bollywood director T Rajeevnath has contacted – Paris Hilton, and yes, it’s for the lead role.

In his book, “The Truth About Your Height”, San Diego CA researcher Tom Samaras actually recommends that parents feed their children fewer calories in order to limit their growth. Why? He claims Earth would be better off if people were shorter. An average height of 5-ft and a weight of about 110-lbs would be ideal, he says. His studies on height suggest that for every inch of increase in height, people live about 1.2 years less. Samaras, by the way, is 5-10. (If starving your children won’t do the trick, try the old brick-on-the-head method.)
– “Social Studies”

• Previously married people are twice as likely to marry someone with a similar marital history.
• Today’s 30-somethings have a 1-in-8 chance of living to be 100 years of age or more.
• Only by the age of 60 do single people begin to feel as happy as married couples.

A team of scientists is hoping to determine whether charred human remains on display in a French museum are those of 15th-century heroine Joan of Arc. The relics are said to have been found at the stake in the Normandy town of Rouen where Joan was burned in 1431. Forensic expert Philippe Charlier and his team will spend the next 6 months testing remains that include a rib and some skin. (Wait a sec … isn’t that a spot of A-1 sauce?)
– BBC News

Today’s couch potato generation of kids is only getting half the exercise compared to the children of the ‘70s. Researchers have found that present-day kids aged 8-to-16 only engage in  physical activity such as ‘playing’ an average of 1.5 times a week. Adults who grew up during the 1970s and 1980s did spontaneous exercise an average of 3.2 times per week. (Was Pac-Man considered ‘spontaneous exercise‘?)
– ANI Science & Health

64-year-old Thai Ngoc who lives in Vietnam’s central Quang Nam province hasn’t been able to sleep – since 1973! Yup, after catching a fever 33 years ago, the farmer has suffered through more than 11,700 consecutive sleepless nights. After the Hoa Khanh Mental Hospital in Danang studied his predicament, experts say that he seems to represent one of the very few insomniac cases who can still live and work normally even though they get no sleep whatsoever. (Hey, we’ve been doing it here for like 10 years.)
– “Fortean Times”

Dr Brad Duchaine of University College London says as many as 1 in 50 people may suffer from the condition ‘prosopagnosia’ (pronounced ‘PROSE-op-ag-nose-ee-uh’), the inability to recognize faces. His research has found that a small area of the brain is devoted to facial recognition. Duchaine says if brain cells in that area aren’t working properly one might not be able to tell 2 faces apart, yet would still be able to distinguish between 2 horses. (Apparently Camilla Parker Bowles was used in experiments.)
– “London Observer”

According to a regularly updated online poll, here are the biggest-ever wastes of celluloid …
5. “Santa with Muscles” (1996)
4. “From Justin to Kelly” (2003)
3. “Troll 2″ (1990)
2. “Going Overboard” (1989)
1. “Anus Magillicutty” (2003)
– Internet Movie DataBase

A study of skeletal remains from 1,000-year-old burial sites in southern Sweden suggests that about 10% of male Vikings used iron files to carve grooves into their teeth, probably to insert colorful decorations. It’s thought the grooves were either purely ornamental or meant to show affiliation to a particular social class. (Or they’d just been seeing my quack dentist, Dr Gumzinger.)
– CTV News

The buzz at THIS WEEK’s “3GSM World Congress” in Barcelona, Spain, the biggest cellphone industry gathering of the year, is that the driving force in marketing cellphones is shifting from functionality to stylish & personalized appearance. That means manufacturers may be altering their emphasis from cramming more & more gadgetry into handsets to focusing more on looks. Industry observers say new models will be more likely to come in pretty colors, or covered with decorative materials such as denim, wood veneer, suede or leather. (How about a cellphone that makes quality phone calls easily … period?)
– “Wired”


1958 [48] Ice T (Tracy Morrow), Newark NJ, TV actor (‘Detective Fin Tutuola’ on “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” since 2000)/hip-hop artist known as ‘The Father of Gangsta Rap’ (“Cop Killer”)

1959 [47] John McEnroe, Wiesbaden Air Force Base, Germany, TV tennis analyst/Hall of Fame player ranked #1 for 4 years during the 1980s

1961 [45] Andy Taylor, Newcastle UK, classic rock guitarist (Duran Duran-“Hungry Like the Wolf”, “The Reflex”)

1972 [34] Taylor Hawkins, Ft Worth TX, rock drummer (Foo Fighters since 1997-“Times Like These”, “All My Life”)/drummer for Alanis Morissette 1995-96

“Heart 2 Heart Day”, a day to confide in your diary. Start young and before you know it, you’ll have written a whole book! (Causing endless embarrassment when you’re older.)

1990 [16] 1st issue of “Entertainment Weekly” magazine (kd lang on the cover)

1994 [12] Apple introduces 1st ‘Digital Camera’ that allows uploads to computer

1980 [26] ‘World’s Longest Traffic Jam’ extends 180 km (109 mi) from Paris to Lyons, France

[Fri] Second Honeymoon Weekend
[Sun] “NBA All-Star Game” (Houston)
[Sun] “Daytona 500″ (Daytona Beach FL)
[Sun] British Academy of Film & Television Arts “BAFTA Awards” (London UK)
[Mon] President’s Day (USA)
[Mon] Family Day (Alberta)
[Mon] Hoodie Hoo Day
This Week Is … Heart Failure Awareness Week
This Month Is … International Expect Success Month


The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Ray J – “One Wish”
4. Eminem – “When I’m Gone”
3. Ne-Yo – “So Sick”
2. Beyoncé – “Check On It”
1. Nelly – “Grillz”
– Big Champagne Online Music Measurement

Want to know which celebrity you most resemble? Now you can find out quickly thanks to the face-recognition celebrity database at the “My Heritage” Website. Simply upload a photo of your face and within seconds the site provides up to 10 matches from its library of famous people.

• Which of the following is NOT an Olympic figure skating jump?
a. A Waltz.
b. A Double Fermentation. [CORRECT. Something to do with beer-making, perhaps?]
c. A Toe Walley.

• What animal sneezes the most?
a. Iguana. [CORRECT. It’s the way they rid their bodies of certain salts that are byproducts of their digestive processes.]
b. Dog.
c. Trout.

• You’re afflicted with the terrible medical condition ‘lycanthropy’. What the heck’s your problem?
a. You think you’re a werewolf. [CORRECT. It’s the delusion that you’re a werewolf or other wild animal.]
b. Your toenails grow too quickly.
c. Excess navel lint.

• You’re an ancient Egyptian. What’s your pillow made of?
a. Swan feathers.     
b. Stone. [CORRECT]
c. A cat.

• 1 in every 138 people in America have this in common.
a. They’re divorced.
b. They have 1 blue eye & 1 brown eye.
c. They’re in prison. [CORRECT]

• Would you rather have exceptional physical ability or exceptional persuasive ability. Why?
• If you could rid the Earth of one thing, what would it be?

Today’s Question: Your typical cat will do THIS 180 times in its lifetime.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Cough up a hairball.

Time heals all wounds … unless you pick at them.


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