Tuesday, February 14, 2006        Edition: #3218
Happy Valentine’s Day For Sheet’s Sake!

TONIGHT “Late Night” host Conan O’Brien visits Finland where he has become an unlikely cultural icon, meeting with Finnish president Tarja Halonen (to whom he bears an astonishing resemblance) and accepting a “Telvis Award” in Helsinki for being the ‘Most Surprising & Entertaining TV Personality in Finland’ . . . TONIGHT two of TV’s cheesiest personalities team up for the special, “Love Smart”, as Dr Phil attempts to help Paula Abdul in her quest to find true love by sending her off on a blind date (Step 1: quit sleeping with “American Idol” contestants) . . . Meantime, FOX-TV execs are said to be livid Paula’s special is airing the same night as “American Idol”, amid rumors she’s trying to use it as a launching pad for her own proposed daytime talk show (she’s in negotiations with King World, which is owned by CBS-TV and just happens to distribute “Dr Phil”) . . . An interactive “American Idol” DVD/board game is coming in MARCH, in which players use an included microphone to perform and be judged by Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell & Randy Jackson . . . “Commander in Chief” starring Geena Davis, originally slated to go on hiatus MARCH 7th, has now been yanked from ABC-TV’s schedule TONIGHT (scheduled to return APRIL 18th), replaced by lame episodes of “George Lopez” & “According to Jim” (likely so as not to waste expensive new episodes against the Olympics juggernaut) . . . US figure skater Michelle Kwan not only bowed out of competition in the Olympics but also turned down an offer to become an NBC-TV Olympic commentator . . . According to a Valentine’s love poll, 46% of women surveyed see Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie’s relationship as the kind they would like to have . . . Filming on the new ‘James Bond’ movie “Casino Royale” has already started, but ‘007′ is still without a date as Thandie Newton (“Crash”, “Mission Impossible 2″) is the latest to deny that she’s the next ‘Bond girl’ (joining Angelina Jolie, Sienna Miller, Naomi Watts & Charlize Theron).

• Dierks Bentley – The name for his “Platinum & Porcelain” tour comes from the fact that both his CDs have gone platinum, thereby enabling him to perform in venues with first-class indoor plumbing … and no port-a-johns.
• Garth Brooks & Trisha Yearwood – TODAY they’re guests on the “Oprah Winfrey Show”.
• Lisa Loeb – TONIGHT she’s on CBS-TV’s “Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson”.
• The O’Jays – TONIGHT they appear on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Van Halen – They’re again reported to be the band looking for a new lead singer in THIS SUMMER’s “Rock Star 2″ on CBS-TV. While they initially disavowed any involvement with the show, their rep is now saying he’s ‘not denying it’.
• Music in stores TODAY – Hall & Oates’ “Ecstasy on the Edge”; Jaheim’s “Ghetto Classics”; Bela Fleck & The Flecktones’ “The Hidden Land”; and Shawn Mullins’ “9th Ward Pickin’ Parlor”.

• “Cake” ( Romantic Comedy ): Heather Graham plays a free-spirited single woman who has sworn off love, only to become editor of a bridal magazine and involved with a promising suitor. David Sutcliffe, Sandra Oh & Taye Diggs co-star. Shot entirely in Toronto.
• “Proof” ( Drama ): Gwyneth Paltrow stars as the emotionally fragile daughter of a one-time math genius (Anthony Hopkins) who succumbs to mental illness in his final years. Jake Gyllenhaal & Hope Davis co-star.
• “Saw II” ( Horror Thriller ): This sequel to the 2004 low-budget thriller about a clockwork sadist with a God complex (Tobin Bell) involves victims attempting survival in a house filled with nerve gas, booby-traps, taunting clues and hidden antidotes. Donnie Wahlberg (ex-New Kids on the Block) co-stars. Filmed in Toronto.
• “Zathura” ( Fantasy Adventure ): In this sequel to 1995’s “Jumanji”, 2 young brothers are drawn into an intergalactic adventure when their house is magically hurtled through space because of the board game they are playing. Stars Tim Robbins, Jonah Bobo & Josh Hutcherson.
• Also on DVD TODAY: 4 different single-disc collections from TV’s “Sex & The City” (1998-2004); “Grey’s Anatomy: Season One”; and “Martha’s Complete Weddings”, a 4-disc set featuring ideas & advice from Martha Stewart for brides-to-be (and their moms).

New Danish research has found that a youthful face is an accurate indicator of good health. On the other hand, looking old for your age can be linked to increased mortality. A study to be published in the journal “Age & Aging” finds that it’s more dangerous looking a year older than actually being a year older. How so?  Dr Kaare Christensen, who led the study, says many life-limiting indicators can be seen in the face. So if you are not depressed, not lonely, not a smoker and not too skinny, you are basically doing well. (In that case, Keith Richards should be dead … twice.)
– “Globe & Mail”

The reason we say we love someone with all of our ‘heart’ is because it was widely believed during the Middle Ages that the heart was the center of human intelligence.

“Esquire” magazine has chosen Kentucky as the ‘Most Stylish State’ in America. As proof, the magazine’s MARCH issue (out TOMORROW) cites major icons of style that originated there, including actor/director George Clooney, the band My Morning Jacket, former heavyweight champ Muhammad Ali, movie star Johnny Depp, basketball’s Allan Houston, late gonzo author Hunter S Thompson, TV game-show legend Chuck Woolery, the Kentucky Derby, and KFC founder Colonel Sanders.
– “USA Today”

According to the just-released 13th annual Harris Interactive poll on top tube personalities, here are the hosts we love most …
5. Ellen DeGeneres
4. [tie] Jay Leno / Bill O’Reilly
3. David Letterman
2. Jon Stewart
1. Oprah Winfrey (always in the top 3, and has now topped the poll 6 times)
Note: When broken down by gender, Oprah is tops with women but David Letterman is #1 with men.
– Reuters

Car chases may soon become a thing of the past. In Los Angeles, LAPD is about to begin using hi-tech adhesive darts equipped with GPS that will be fired at fleeing cars by police. Patrol cars will be equipped with compressed-air launchers that fire the GPS receivers in a sticky compound resembling a golf ball. Then, instead of resorting to high-speed chases, cops will simply track fleeing suspects electronically, eventually zero-ing in on the vehicle. (Now what will they fill local TV news shows with?)
– AP

You’ve heard the old adage that a dog and its owner grow to look like each other? Well now a study commissioned by Disney Corp to mark the DVD release of “Lady & the Tramp” suggests that dogs develop regional accents – to sound like their owners. Dog owners were asked to contribute recorded messages of their voice as well as their dogs barking and growling, then the sounds were reviewed by a panel of experts. The results reveal differences in tone and pitch depending on region. And it seems that dogs are more able to imitate stronger, more distinctive accents than softer ones. Scottish pets, for instance, seem to have the most distinctive growl. (Time for a studio experiment!)
– “Daily Mirror”


1948 [58] Pat O’Brien, Sioux Falls SD, fun-loving TV host (“The Insider” since 2004)

1948 [58] (Raymond) Teller, Philadelphia PA, Las Vegas magician (the shorter, less obnoxious one from Penn & Teller) who legally reduced his name to one word

1972 [34] Rob Thomas, Landstuhl Military Base, Germany, pop singer (“Ever the Same”, “Lonely No More”, 3 Grammy Awards w/Santana-“Smooth”, Matchbox 20-“Push”, “3 AM”)

1972 [34] Drew Bledsoe, Ellensburg WA, NFL QB (Dallas Cowboys, ex-Buffalo Bills, ex-NE Patriots)

“Ferris Wheel Day”, celebrating the 1859 birth of George Washington Gale Ferris, the Galesburg IL engineer who invented the ‘Ferris wheel’ for the 1893 “Chicago World’s Exposition”. The original wheel measured 250 feet in diameter and could carry an amazing 1,440 passengers.

“Have-A-Heart Day”, when vegetarians encourage you to quit eating animals. So go kill a carrot today!

“Valentine’s Day”, the most widely celebrated unofficial holiday. Other interesting facts …
• The Catholic Church recognizes at least 3 different saints named Valentine, all of whom were martyred, one for performing secret weddings for young lovers. Pope Gelasius declared February 14th “St Valentine’s Day” around 498 AD, in part to replace the ancient Roman fertility festival “Lupercalia”.
• About 1 billion Valentine cards are exchanged, making it the 3rd largest card-sending occasion after Christmas and Father’s Day. The total spent on Valentines accounts for about 20% of the greeting card market.
• It’s also the 4th-biggest flower-selling occasion.
• On “Valentines Day” it is customary in Japan for women to give chocolates to men – husbands, male family members and co-workers – but they expect a payback. On MARCH 14, a celebration known as “White Day” in Japan, those who received chocolates for Valentine’s are expected to return the favor.

1984 [22] Elton John marries Renata Blauel in Sydney, Australia (the next day he’s nominated for a ‘Best Actor’ Oscar)

1996 [10] Prince weds Mayte Garcia in a “Valentine’s Day” ceremony in Minneapolis MN

2000 [06] After keeping his remains in a cardboard box for years, Blessed John Duns Scotus Church in Glasgow, Scotland puts the bones of St Valentine on display (other European churches also claim to have some of the relics … they should get together and build a complete saint!)

1415 [591] ‘Oldest Known Valentine’ sent by the Duke of Orleans to his French wife while he was imprisoned in Tower of London (still on display in a British museum)

1975 [31] ABA’s San Diego Conquistadors beat NJ Nets 176-166 to set record for ‘Most  Points Scored in a Pro Basketball Game’ … 342!

1979 [27] ‘Oldest Caged Guinea Pig’ dies at age 14 years, 10 months (‘Snowball’-Bingham UK)

[Wed] “Juno Awards” nominations announced
[Wed] 2006 “Brit Awards”
[Fri] Second Honeymoon Weekend
[Sun] NBA All-Star Game (Houston)
[Sun] Daytona 500 (Daytona Beach FL)
[Sun] British Academy of Film & Television Arts “BAFTA Awards” (London UK)
This Week Is … Celebration of Love Week
This Month Is … Get To Know an Independent Real Estate Broker Month


• “I must admit, you brought religion into my life. I never believed in hell till I met you.”
• “Someday I hope to get married … but not to you.”
• “Roses are red, tulips are maroon. All you sent me last year was a cheap Mylar balloon.”
• “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re here.”
• “You can call me dearest, you can call me sweet. But if you call me ‘Kate’ again your things are on the street!”

• No one seems impressed by your ability to comb your back hair into the shape of a heart.
• You don’t want your cellmate Butch to get jealous.
• That hilarious heart-shaped box filled with angry hornets didn’t go over last year.
• The babes just don’t seem to go for your homemade “Star Trek” uniform.
• Love leads to marriage. Marriage leads to nagging. Nagging leads to having to eat broccoli. You hate broccoli, so what’s the point?
• You’d rather ‘be your own Valentine’ today … two or three times.

• You don’t get once-in-a-lifetime offers like this every day …
• I like watching the Home Shopping Network … at least they don’t have commercials.
• I’m gonna be rich … I’ve invented a shirt with napkin sleeves!

If a guy pays for a date that doesn’t work out, should he get half his money back? (A NYC woman was recently asked to send a man she’d just met 20 bucks to cover their failed date. Freaked out that the guy might be totally wacko, she bought a money order and sent it!)

You run down the list rapid-fire while someone in the studio or on the phone rates each item as simply ‘good’ or ‘bad’ …
• Awarding a gold medal in a sport in which the top 10 athletes all finish within a second of each other … good or bad?
• Toothpaste with baking soda in it … good or bad?
• Aging singers like Mick, McCartney & Madonna trying to look cool on-stage like they did 30 years ago … good or bad?
• Newspapers continuing to re-publish cartoons that have already inflamed Muslims around-the-world … good or bad?
• Good or bad … room fresheners you have to plug into an electrical outlet?
• Movie remakes … good or bad?
• Little heart-shaped candies with messages written on them … good or bad?
• Good or bad … GPS systems in cars that require you to look at them while driving?
• Animated beavers acting as smart-ass pitch rodents in TV ads … good or bad?
• Allowing senior citizens to stumble around in the woods with hunting rifles … good or bad?
• Gigantic Olympic medals with a hole in the middle … good or bad? (Can you put them in your DVD player and see your medal-winning performance afterward?)

Today’s Question: According to a recent survey, the top 2 phrases women love to hear from a guy are “I can’t wait to see you” and “I love being next to you.” What’s #3?
Answer to Give Out Next Show: “I bought you something.”

Some people aren’t hard of hearing … just hard of listening.

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