Wednesday, February 8, 2006        Edition: #3214
We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Movie actresses Scarlett Johansson (“Match Point”) & Keira Knightley (“Pride & Prejudice”) are reportedly set to appear in a photo spread for “Vanity Fair” – au naturel (is that like, without makeup?) . . . 21-year-old professional impostor Natalie Reid has managed to crash a string of glitzy events at “New York Fashion Week” by pretending to be Paris Hilton, even scoring front-row seats at designer shows (you can tell she’s a real look alike – people keep spitting on her)  . . . Former “Sex & the City” actress Kim Cattrall has another book in the works, “Everything I Ever Learned about Being a Girl”, which will make use her real-life experiences growing up in Canada & England to offer advice for teen girls (but not about spicing up life in the sack like her previous works) . . . “Basic Instinct” actress Sharon Stone & her newspaper publisher ex-husband Phil Bronstein have settled their bitter custody dispute with an extraordinary child swap deal – for the next 4 years, their 5-year-old adopted son Roan will alternate time with each parent – for a FULL YEAR at-a-time (let’s hope they’ve set up a hefty ‘therapy fund’ for the poor lad).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beastie Boys – TONIGHT they guest on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Dwight Yoakam – TONIGHT he’s on ABC-TV’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live”.
• Kelly Clarkson – She & her Oklahoma-born rocker boyfriend Graham Colton have broken up, but her rep claims they remain ‘good friends’. The Graham Colton Band was the opening act during her “Behind These Hazel Eyes” tour.
• Mariah Carey – She’s revealed she likes eating in bed … while wearing a bib. You know, it shows!
• Sting – He’s taking his chauffeur to court after the driver claimed in a UK paper that his ‘idyllic marriage’ to Trudie Styler is a sham. Mick Madadi was quoted as saying that Sting is ‘just into playing his banjo and getting stoned’ and that the couple as close as they seem.

GRAMMY AWARDS NOTES:
TONIGHT the 48th edition of the annual music awards airs on CBS-TV (Global in Canada) from the Staples Center in Los Angeles beginning at 8 pm ET. Some highlights …
• Mariah Carey is said to be miffed her offer to open the show with a choir-backed rendition of “We Belong Together” was rejected in favor of Madonna performing with Gorillaz.
• Mariah Carey’s 8 nominations tie her with John Legend and Kanye West for most. Other multiple nominees included 50 Cent, Gwen Stefani, U2, and Bruce Springsteen.
• ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’ winners Eric Clapton & Ginger Baker will be no-shows. Jack Bruce will pick up the award on behalf of the 1960s super-group Cream.
• Several duets have been set up, including Mary J Blige & U2; Keith Urban & Faith Hill; Christina Aguilera & Herbie Hancock; Kanye West & Jamie Foxx; and Jay-Z & Linkin Park.
• Presenters include Alicia Keys, Big & Rich, actors Tom Hanks and Terrence Howard (“Crash”), and comedian Dave Chappelle.
• Paul McCartney will perform for the first time ever at the awards.
• Canadians up for awards include Michael Bublé, the Arcade Fire, and recording artist/producer Daniel Lanois.

NEW CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
• ‘Airboard’ – A 4-ft-long, 9-inch-thick air cushion for sliding downhill on snow. This sequel to the snowboard got its start in Europe, where Swiss engineer Joe Steiner spent 10 years perfecting the design.
• ‘Frazzing’ – A new term for ‘frantic multitasking’, thanks to a slew of hi-tech gadgets all demanding our attention simultaneously. It’s said the average office worker loses 2.1 hours a day due to ‘frazzing’.
• ‘She-Tox’/‘He-Tox’ – A term coined by relationship author Greg Behrendt for a recommended 60-day period after a breakup during which the former couple should have no contact with each other. (“Samantha doesn’t want to go to Club 99 with us tonight … she’s he-toxing.”)

SILLY SCIENCE:
• Soon your PC may have a more ‘sensitive side’. Computer scientist Christian Peter of the Fraunhofer Institute for Computer Graphics in Rostock, Germany is working on a computer system that collects data about the user’s emotional state using sight, sound & touch technology, then interprets the info to react accordingly. (In order to avoid being kicked.)
• Blue light makes people alert at night, according to a study for the Space Biomedical Research Institute. Experiments found that exposure to short-wavelength light, particularly blue light, directly reduced sleepiness among volunteers, many perking up immediately. The effects last as long as the blue light remains on. (Time for some morning crew studio renovation?)
• Researchers have found that people may mature much later than traditionally thought. In a study aimed at identifying how and when a person’s brain reaches adulthood, researchers at Dartmouth College have found that, at least anatomically, significant changes in brain structure continue after age 18. (Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.)

FOR THE RECORD:
Royal Caribbean International has ordered the ‘World’s Largest & Most Expensive Cruise Ship’. The ship, so far known as ‘Project Genesis’ is scheduled to be delivered by shipbuilder Aker Yards in late 2009. The 1,181-foot ship with capacity for 5,400 passengers will cost about $1 billion.
– “USA Today”

ARTIFICIAL GILLS:
Israeli inventor Alon Bodner has developed an underwater breathing system that literally squeezes oxygen directly from seawater, doing away with the need for compressed air tanks. Called ‘LikeAFish’, the battery-powered artificial gill system aims to extract the small amounts of dissolved air that already exist in water to supply breathable oxygen. The device’s greatest potential may be in making underwater habitats a viable alternative.
– BBC News

LINGO IN LIMBO:
‘Chinglish’, an ethnic hybrid between Chinese & English, is a rapidly-spreading patois in China but one the government has committed to remove from all signs in time for the “2008 Beijing Olympics”. Why? Some of the terms might be thought offensive. A few samples of Chinglish …
• ‘Hun Boa Boa’ … Hamburger.
• ‘Welcomeagain’ … Thank-you.
• ‘Engineroom’ … An Important Person.
• ‘Greenfud’ … Organic Meat & Vegetables.
• ‘Kweerboys’ … Homosexuals.
• ‘Deformedmen’ … A Public Washroom for the Disabled.
– “GQ”

SKINNY SPUDS:
Food scientists have developed a ‘Slimmer’s Potato’, which has half the calories of the normal variety. Nutrition tests on the Vivaldi potato, a strain first introduced in Britain, have shown that it also contains fewer carbohydrates. The company marketing the new product claims it was developed purely for its buttery flavor and the healthful discoveries have come as a surprise.
– ANI

CAUTION: FROZEN SQUIRREL FALLING:
Auto insurer Norwich Union has released its annual list of unusual claims. Among them …
• A dented fender due to – a zebra hitting a vehicle in a safari park.
• Damage to a passing vehicle after a door on the insured car flew open and – a frozen kebab flew out.
• Damaged paintwork caused by – a herd of cows licking a vehicle.
• A rear-end accident caused by – a potato that became wedged under a brake pedal.
• A broken windshield caused by – a frozen squirrel falling from a tree.
What makes these claims extra unusual is – the company actually paid for them! So what’s the weirdest excuse you’ve heard?
– “The Guardian”

HALF-GIRTH OVER HEIGHT EQUALS TROUBLE:
A new study published in the international “Journal of Obesity” THIS WEEK has come up with an alternative to the much-used ‘Body Mass Index’ as a measurement for fitness. The new standard is a waistline measurement that is less than half your height measurement. So if you’re an average male of 5′-10″, you need a waist 35″ or less. Researchers have found that about 17% of males & 12% of females are above the waist-height ratio danger limit – a dramatic increase on measurements from the 1970s.
– “Social Studies”

SPREADING ON THE SPREADSHEETS:
Highlights of a new Vault office romance survey on relationships in the workplace …
• 50% of employees are aware of a married co-worker who’s had an affair with someone else at the office.
• 38% of employees have experienced unwanted advances from a co-worker.
• 27.5% of employees admit to having a tryst in the office, up from 23% LAST YEAR. The most common locations for getting frisky: conference rooms, the boss’s office, washrooms, computer server rooms, elevators, and supply closets.
• 33% of employees have an ‘office spouse’, a friend of the opposite gender with whom they spend a lot of time during the workday without a sexual relationship or special commitment.
– “New York Post”

BS LAW & DISORDER:
• Pennsylvania’s Department of Transportation has told 40-year-old Paul Sewell he must surrender his drivers licence if he cannot provide proper identification by FEBRUARY 14th. It seems he’s been using the signature ‘God’ on his ID, even registering to vote by that name. The bond enforcement agent says he picked up the nickname because people often cry out “Oh God” when he tracks them down.
• An Odessa, Ukraine court is set to try the case of a 30-year-old woman charged with – drinking the blood of teenage boys. The alleged vampire apparently got her victims drunk on vodka, then cut their hands and drank blood, mixing it with sweet wine. She’s been charged with conducting satanic rituals.
• The “NSW Amateur Championship” golf tournament in Australia came to halt when an armed robber drove onto the course in a stolen truck. The man, who had allegedly just held up a supermarket, rammed through a fence and onto the 5th fairway before becoming stuck in a sand trap (like many golfers). Participants were forced to suspend play after police declared the 6th hole a crime scene.

THE BULL SHEET 02.08.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [65] Nick Nolte, Omaha NE, movie actor (“Hotel Rwanda”, “Affliction”)

1955 [51] John Grisham, Jonesboro AR, lawyer-turned-novelist (“The Broker”, “The Firm”)

1961 [45] Vince Neil (Wharton), Hollywood CA, rock vocalist (Motley Crue-“Girls Girls Girls”)

1974 [32] Seth Green, Philadelphia PA, TV actor (‘Barry’ on the new NBC-TV comedy “Four Kings”, several voices on “Family Guy”)/movie actor (“The Italian Job”)

1977 [29] (David) ‘Phoenix’ Farrell, Plymouth MA, rock musician (Linkin Park-“Numb”, “In the End”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
“International Clean Out Your Computer Day”, a day for purging and organizing your computer files.

• “Boy Scouts of America Founding Anniversary”, celebrating its 1910 organization by William Boyce. America’s Boy Scouts are based on the work of Sir Robert Baden-Powell who earlier founded the original Boy Scout Association in the UK.
NET: http://www.scouting.org/

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1926 [80] Walt Disney Studios formed (“The Mouse House”)

1999 [07] Televangelist Rev Jerry Falwell tries to ‘out’ “Tinky Winky”, suggesting the purple, purse-toting “Teletubbies” character is gay

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1992 [14] “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred peaks at #1 on pop singles charts

2002 [04] Sting, Dixie Chicks, LeAnn Rimes & Robbie Robertson share the stage with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir at the opening ceremony of the “Salt Lake City Winter Olympics”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1816 [190] 1st ‘Police Dog’ used to make an arrest (a Bull Terrier in Britain)

1998 [08] 1st Olympic ‘Women’s Hockey Game’ (Fins beat Swedes)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Ashura (Islamic)
[Thurs] Develop Alternative Vices Day
[Fri-Feb 26] XX Olympic Winter Games (Torino, Italy)
[Sat] Satisfied Staying Single Day
[Sun] NFL Pro Bowl (Honolulu HI)
[Sun] Chinese Lantern Festival
[Sun] World Marriage Day
This Week Is . . . Consumer Protection Week
This Month Is . . . Black History Month

BULL’S BITS

BS ‘FINISH LINES’:
Have your studio guest or phone contestant try to finish the following lines of song lyrics …
• Pussycat Dolls, “Stickwitu”:
“I don’t want to go another day, So I’m telling you exactly what is on my mind, Seems like everybody is breaking up … [... throwing their love away”]
• Kelly Clarkson, “Because Of You”:
“Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk, Because of you … [... I learned to play on the safe side”]
• Rob Thomas “Lonely No More”:
“I don’t wanna be lonely no more, I don’t wanna have to pay for this, I don’t want to know … [... the lover at my door”]
• James Blunt, “You’re Beautiful”:
“I saw you face in a crowded place, And I don’t know what to do, ‘Cause … [...I'll never be with you.”]
• Anna Nalick, “Breathe (2 AM)”:
“But you can’t jump the track, we’re like cars on a cable, And life’s like an hourglass … [... glued to the table”]
• Mariah Carey, “We Belong Together”:
“I can’t sleep at night when you are on my mind, Bobby Womack’s on the radio singing to me … [... “If You Think You’re Lonely Now”]
• Trace Adkins “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk”:
“Hustlers shootin’ eightball, Throwin’ darts at the wall … [... Feelin' damn near 10-feet-tall”]
• Faith Hill, “Like We Never Loved At All”:
“How can you just walk on by, Without one tear in your eye … [... Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?”]
• Keith Urban, “Tonight I Wanna Cry”:
“But I’m just drunk enough to let go of my pain … [... To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain from my eyes”]

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Studies show that some variation of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy’ are normally the first 2 words babies learn to say. What’s #3?
Answer to Give Out Next Show: TV.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

 


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