Thursday, February 2, 2006        Edition: #3210
If You’re Lucky, You’re Getting 6 More Weeks of Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT the 12th edition of “Survivor” debuts on CBS-TV (Global in Canada), “Panama – Exile Island” in which at least 1 contestant per episode will be banished to a remote island where a personal ‘Immunity Idol’ is hidden (this time the 16 contestants are split into 4-member tribes by age & gender: young men [24-32], ‘old’ men [35-46], young women [24-31] & ‘old’ women [32-48]) . . . TONIGHT Germany’s annual “Golden Camera Awards” for entertainment will honor actress Charlize Theron, “Live 8″ creator Bob Geldof & pop act the Pussy Cat Dolls, among others (basically if you show up, you get an award of some kind) . . . China has banned the movie “Memoirs of a Geisha”, which features a Chinese actress kissing a Japanese actor, for fear it might spark more anti-Japanese sentiment . . . Actor Brad Pitt has reportedly asked his people to find him a script in which he’d play gay, because he’s looking for something that would prove the ‘edgiest’ work he’s yet done (how ‘bout something about a couple of cowboys that … naw, no one would believe it) . . . Meantime, word has it Angelina Jolie wants to wed before she spits out the little Pitt in MAY, so the latest rumors have her & Brad wedding sometime NEXT WEEK in Italy, just maybe at pal George Clooney’s Lake Como villa as previously thought . . . Actor Kiefer Sutherland is keen to shoot a bigscreen version of his hit TV series “24″ and producers are now looking at the idea of shooting a movie while the show is on a break . . . And here’s a sad comment on the current state of TV: the ratings in FOX-TV’s MONDAY slot previously occupied by “Arrested Development” are up some 183% thanks to the show’s replacement – “Skating with Celebrities”.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Anthony Hamilton – TONIGHT he guests on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Aretha Franklin – SUNDAY she’ll sing the anthem before the Super Bowl with Aaron Neville,  Dr John & a 150-member choir, after she complained about being snubbed earlier in the week.  
• Black Eyed Peas – TONIGHT Will.I.Am is on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” to perform music from “Timeless”, his new collaboration with ‘60s Brazilian musician Sergio Mendez.
• Destiny’s Child – They’re reuniting for a ‘final time’ to perform the anthem before the 2006 “NBA All-Star Game” in Houston FEBRUARY 19th. Honest, this is the last time … really.
• Four Tops – TONIGHT the Motown legends do “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC-TV from Detroit.
• Gwen Stefani – The expectant mom & hubby Gavin Rossdale went on a babywear buying binge at London’s upscale Elias & Grace. Total tab at the end of the day: $20,000! And there may be more to come as she’s not due till JUNE.
• Kanye West – TONIGHT he performs in Detroit as part of the “Pepsi Smash Super Bowl Concert Series”. The “Grammy Awards” ceremony is his only other scheduled upcoming appearance.
• K-OS – TONIGHT he performs on the CBC-TV special “Burning To Shine”.
• Rascal Flatts – TONIGHT they launch their 21-city “Me & My Gang” tour in Grand Rapids MI. Blake Shelton is also on the bill.
• Split Enz – 22 years after they broke up, they’re reuniting for an Australian arena tour this JUNE and may extend it to London, NYC & LA. Formed in New Zealand in 1972, the band’s innovative music, videos & artwork inspired the late 1970s ‘new wave’ movement.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
Picture this – Catherine Zeta Jones is being wooed to play 1960s transsexual cabaret star April Ashley, whose husband had their marriage annulled in an historic legal case . . . Hot-as-a-pistol actor Terrence Howard (“Hustle & Flow”, “Crash”) will next co-star in the thriller “The Brave One” with Jodie Foster, the story of an assaulted woman who’s out for revenge . . . He keeps saying he’ll never do it again but Brit actor Hugh Grant has signed up for yet another romantic comedy, co-starring with Drew Barrymore in “Music And Lyrics By …”, a rom-com about a songwriting team who’s relationship becomes more than just professional . . . “The Squid & the Whale” filmmaker Noah Baumbach will next pair up Nicole Kidman & his real-life wife Jennifer Jason Leigh as sisters in an as-yet-untitled comedy-drama . . . David Strathairn, Oscar-nominated for his role as Edward R Murrow in “Good Night, and Good Luck”, will next play a DA in the thriller “Fracture”, starring Anthony Hopkins & Ryan Gosling . . . Matthew Mcconaughey will headline the true story of a 1970 plane crash which killed nearly all the members of the Marshall University football team from West Virginia . . . Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is in talks to reprise Clint Eastwood’s role in the 1978 comedy “Every Which Way but Loose”, playing a fist-fighting drifter who befriends an orangutan he wins in a bet . . . And in the soon-to-shoot “The Grudge 2″, Amber Tamblyn (“Joan of Arcadia”) will take over the lead role from Sarah Michelle Gellar, who starred in the 2004 original (but knows when it’s time to bail).

WHY ENGLISH IS TOUGH TO LEARN:
The 5 words with the most definitions in the “Oxford English Dictionary” are …
• ‘Top’ (464 definitions)
• ‘Run’ (396)
• ‘Go’ (368)
• ‘Take’ (343)
• ‘Stand’ (334)
– “The Herald”

YOU DON’T KNOW ME:
A new University of Michigan-Columbia University study finds that people tend to overestimate how well they know close friends as opposed to acquaintances. In experiments using the categories of ‘Favorite Movies’ and ‘Favorite Restaurants’, most people were well off the mark when it came to their friends’ preferences. Bottom line – we actually know far less personal info about our friends than we think. (For instance, I’ve likely never mentioned my proclivity for whips and chains …)
– ANI Science & Health

DID YOU KNOW?
On average, we use 8.6 sheets of bathroom tissue per trip to the washroom, a total of 57 sheets per day, according to industry stats. (Another TP fact: half of you are putting the roll on upside down!)

EXTRAORDINARY USES FOR ORDINARY THINGS:
• Eliminate Odors from Hands: Rubbing a few coffee beans together releases oil from the beans which absorbs the smell of onions, garlic or whatever else you’ve been handling.
• Emergency Shaving Cream: Slather butter onto your wet skin for a smooth shave.
• Facial: Use a mild yellow mustard to soothe and stimulate your skin. But keep it away from your eyes and test it on a small area first to make sure it doesn’t irritate you.
• Getting Chewing Gum Out of Hair: Apply peanut butter, then rub the gum until it comes out.
• Makeup Remover: If you’re all out of makeup remover, a dab of shortening will do the trick.
• Remove a Splinter: Cover it with tape. After 3 days, pull off the tape and the splinter will likely  come with it.
• Salad Spinner: Place a pillowcase inside another; fill with rinsed lettuce leaves; tie both pillowcases with string, then throw it into the washing machine and run the spin cycle.
• Shoe Deodorizer: Fill a couple of old socks with scented cat litter, tie them shut, and stuff them in your sneakers overnight.
• Smelly Armpits: Not only will splashing a little vinegar under your arms reduce B-O, this method also does away with deodorant stains on your blouse or shirt.
• Soften Dry, Scaly Elbows: Suffer from dinosaur elbows? Treat them with a lemon juice-baking soda paste.
– “Reader’s Digest”

WORKOUT-LITE:
People too lazy to exercise regularly can still get major health benefits from accumulating at least 30 minutes of moderate activity each day. So what counts as ‘moderate activity’? Climbing a couple flights of stairs, playing with children, gardening or cleaning house.  (Then there’s those TV zapper lifts, and pushing-up off the couch, opening the fridge door …)
– “Journal of the American Medical Association”

DUMB BS POLLS:
• 52% of the 1,000 people polled in a recent survey say they’ve been on a blind date, while 46% haven’t. Seems a confused 2% just aren’t sure. (I was once blindfolded and robbed by a hooker. Does that count?)
• In a “Good Housekeeping” poll, the majority of women surveyed say they’d prefer dinner in a restaurant to a night of making love. (It lasts longer and you don’t have to fake enjoyment.)

FAT & FUMES ARE FATAL:
A new study by researchers at the University of Alberta reveals that obese folks face greater danger of heart attack than average-sized people when they are regularly exposed to pollution from power plants or diesel exhaust. (So, if you’re big and you take the bus to work … can I have your iPod?)
– CP

HOW NOT TO GET A GIG:
Personnel Directors of 100 large corporations were asked to list the most unusual questions that have been asked by job candidates. Here are a few …
• “What is it that you people do at this company?”
• “Why aren’t you in a more interesting business?”
• “What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?”
• “Why do you want references?”
• “Do I have to dress for the next interview?”
• “Will the company pay to relocate my horse?”
• “Does your health insurance cover pets?”
• “Would it be a problem if I’m angry most of the time?”
• “Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?”

THE BULL SHEET 02.02.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [64] Graham Nash, Blackpool UK, oldies singer (Crosby, Stills & Nash-“Suite: Judy Blue Eyes”, Hollies-“Bus Stop”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1997)

    1971 [35] Ben Mize, San Francisco CA, pop drummer (Counting Crows-“Big Yellow Taxi”, “Mr Jones”)

1977 [29] Shakira (Mebarak Ripoll), Barranquilla, Columbia, pop singer (f/Alejandro Sanz-“La Tortura”, “No”)  FACTOID: Shakira is Arabic for ‘full of grace’.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Groundhog Day”. As the old saying goes, if the groundhog sees his shadow, 6 more weeks of winter will ensue. The tradition stems from the Christian celebration of Candlemas – an old Scottish poem proclaims, “If Candlemas is fair and clear, there’ll be two winters in the year.” In Mexico, TODAY is known as “Dia de la Candelaria”, a big day for bullfights and festivals.
NET: http://www.groundhog.org/

• “Imbolc” (pronounced ‘IHM-bulk’), the ancient Wiccan festival also known as ‘Candlemas’, ‘Brighid’ (‘breed’), or ‘Oimelc’ (‘EE-mulk’) which means ewe’s milk. The celebration signals the middle of the season of long nights and anticipates the upcoming season of light. Celebrants make ‘Corn Maidens’ from corn and wheat and place them in a cradle known as a ‘Bride’s Bed’. The maidens are generally kept year round as a symbol of fertility.

• “Job Shadow Day” in America, the 11th annual that’s expected to include 1 million students shadowing workplace mentors on-the-job. (Similar to “Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day”)
NET: http://www.jobshadow.org

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1876 [130] Baseball’s ‘National League’ is founded (Boston, Chicago, Cincinnati, NYC, Philadelphia, St Louis, Louisville & Hartford)

1931 [75] 1st delivery of ‘Rocket Mail’, in Austria (you can tell the mail’s arrived by the hole in the roof)

    1935 [71] 1st test of polygraph or ‘Lie Detector’ (Leonard Keeler-Portage WI)

    1964 [42] 1st ‘GI Joe’ (called ‘action figures’ because it’s feared there’s no market for guys and ‘dolls’)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1977 [29]  NHL record ‘Most Goals in a Game by a Defencemen’ (Toronto’s Ian Turnbull scores 5 as Leafs beat Detroit Red Wings 9-1)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Bifocals at the Monitor Liberation Day
[Fri] Men’s Grooming Day
[Fri] Wear Red Day
[Sat] “The Lord of the Rings” stage musical previews begin (Toronto)
[Sat] Midpoint of Winter
[Sun] Super Bowl XL (Detroit MI)
[Sun] Weatherman’s Day
[Sun] Canadian Songwriters Hall Of Fame Induction
This Week Is . . . Junior Achievement Week
This Month Is . . . Children’s Dental Health Month

BULL’S BITS

OTHER METHODS OF DETERMINING IF SPRING IS ON THE WAY:
• Maple Leafs mathematically eliminated from Stanley Cup playoffs.
• Wal-Mart re-labels bags of ‘tire-traction sand’ as ‘sandbox sand’.
• That nice ‘Spring breeze’ – that’s blowing small cars across the parking lot.
• (Local TV forecaster) switches from tacky wool blazers to tacky polyester blazers.
• Garbage collectors start going topless.
• Look at a calendar, twit!

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• Would you switch to a different supermarket if it featured candy-free checkouts? (In a new survey Down Under, over 70% of Australian parents said ‘you betcha’!)
• Word’s out that Gwyneth Paltrow is having another girl. That’s right, Apple is going to have a peachy little sister. So what should Gwynnie & Coldplay hubby Chris Martin name her?

BS TRIVIA:
Q: Can you get athlete’s foot on your behind or is there no such thing as ‘athlete’s butt’?
A: You can get what’s called athletes foot on any part of your body that comes in contact with the fungus.

Q: Who owns the Crown Jewels of England: Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Charles or the people of Britain?
A: The British people.

Q: 94 years ago TODAY (1912), the 1st movie stuntman performed the first-ever movie stunt. Did he …
a. Jump off the Statue of Liberty.
b. Smash a car into a house.
c. Set himself on fire.
A: Using a parachute, Frederick Law jumped from the torch of the Statue of Liberty.

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• The winter prediction is in for “Groundhog Day”. The groundhog has said, “Hey man, I’m a grub-eating rodent with a brain the size of a golf ball. How the hell should I know?”
• After hiring the new drive jock, the radio station GM says to him, “Please don’t tell anyone what we’re paying you.” “Don’t worry,” the new guy says. “I’m as ashamed of it as you are.”
• To avoid the flu this winter, take vitamin C … to Barbados.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: So you’re really comfortable with your spouse … feelin’ good … odds are that you are doing THIS less.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Looking at each other less when talking.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
‘Needless to say’ is usually needless to say.

 


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