Tuesday, February 17, 2009        Edition: #3956
There’s a Difference Between Sheet and Crapola!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
“Oceans 13″ actress Ellen Barkin is refuting reports claiming she recently auctioned over $20-million-worth of jewelry from her ex-husband, billionaire Ronald Perelman, for revenge, saying it was purely a ‘practical decision’ (when you’re a Hollywood has-been at 54, a girl’s gotta find a meal ticket!) . . . German designer Wolfgang Joop has blathered to “Bild” magazine that he thinks model-turned-TV host Heidi Klum (“Project Runway”) has become ‘too heavy’ to walk the catwalk (we’re guessing lots of women would settle for her looks as a 35-year-old mother of 3) . . . British comedian Lee Hurst has been fined circa $350 for smashing an audience member’s cellphone when it went off during a stand-up performance (we would have given him a standing ‘O’!) . . . 42-year-old actress Salma Hayek (“30 Rock”, “Ugly Betty”) has wed her longtime partner, French businessman Francois-Henri Pinault, in a romantic ceremony in Paris on Valentine’s Day (exclusively reported days later by Pinault’s own “Le Point” newspaper) . . . Golden Globe-winning actor Colin Farrell (“In Bruges”) has split with Emma Forrest, the writer he reportedly moved to Los Angeles to be with, although a rep says they remain friends (BS translation: They will never come into contact in this world again) . . . 34-year-old movie star Leonardo DiCaprio (“Revolutionary Road”) must convert to Judaism if he wants to marry 23-year-old girlfriend Bar Rafaeli as the Israeli-born model’s father has reportedly forbidden her from marrying outside her faith (unless several-hundred million is involved) . . . TV’s TLC network already airs “Jon & Kate Plus 8” (its highest-rated show) and “17 Kids & Counting”, and next month it will debut “Table for Twelve”, featuring a family with sextuplets and 2 sets of twins (another result of all the hoopla surrounding ‘OctoMom’?).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Jonas Bros are the musical guests.
• “The Hour” (CBC) – George Stroumboulopoulos welcomes Brit pop singer Lily Allen (“The Fear”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – 1990s alt-rock band Blues Traveler is on.
• Stone Temple Pilots – Tonight Scott Weiland launches the new men’s wear collection ‘Weiland for English Laundry’ at a gala at Magic Las Vegas. It’s a collaborative effort with Christopher Wicks, designer/owner of English Laundry.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Sara Bareilles (“Love Song”) performs.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Celine Dion – A 41-year-old man has been charged with stalking after being apprehended outside her home near Montréal. He’d been demanding to see Dion or her manager-husband, Rene Angelil. When he refused to leave, police were called and he was admitted to hospital for psychiatric evaluation.
• Gerry Rafferty – Authorities think the 1970s singer (“Baker Street”, Stealers Wheel-“Stuck In the Middle”) may have died, since he disappeared from a London hospital in August after receiving treatment for liver failure and has been missing ever since. Rumored sightings in southern England, North Korea, and Belgium have not been verified.
• Justin Timberlake – He’s been named ‘Most Stylish Man in America’ by men’s magazine “GQ”, which lauds his ‘impact on fashion, willingness to take risks, and knack for targeting trends’. Other entertainers on the ‘10 Most Stylish Men’ list include Kanye West and TI.
• Kenny Chesney – He earned $90,823,990 in 2008, according to new stats in “Billboard”.
• Madonna – Insiders are saying her relationship with 22-year-old Brazilian model Jesus Luz is a sham, merely a publicity stunt to promote her new tour and make her ex-, Guy Ritchie, jealous.
• Paul McCartney – He says he now regularly practises ‘eye yoga’ after discovering the technique during a trip to India last year. The workout involves staring in different directions and holding each gaze for 20 seconds. He says an expert convinced him that eye muscles, like any other muscles, need exercise in order to keep them working properly.
• Rolling Stones – 61-year-old guitarist Ronnie Wood has reportedly been warned to curb his drinking or risk being banned from a proposed upcoming North American tour. A source tells “Daily Express” the entire band needs to pass a pre-tour medical to qualify for insurance.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:

• “Body of Lies” ( Action Thriller ): Ridley Scott directs Russell Crowe & Leonardo DiCaprio in this tale of a CIA operative who uncovers a major terrorist plot brewing in Jordan. Only with the help of a veteran agent can he succeed in saving humanity. Available in a ‘Two-Disc Special Edition’.
• “Changeling” (Thriller): Clint Eastwood directs Angelina Jolie & John Malkovich in a story based on true-life events in 1920s-era LA when a mom claimed that a 9-year-old boy returned to her was not her missing son, causing her to be labeled as delusional and unfit.
• “Flash of Genius“ ( Drama ): Based on the true story of the inventor who sued the US auto industry for stealing the idea of intermittent windshield wipers, a technology he created but unsuccessfully tried to sell. Stars Greg Kinnear, Lauren Graham & Alan Alda.
• “High School Musical 3: Senior Year” ( Musical ): In their first theatrical release, America’s favorite high school students (Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, etc) celebrate life as high school seniors. Shot entirely in Salt Lake City. Comes in a special ‘Extended Edition’.
• “How to Lose Friends & Alienate People” ( Comedy ): Simon Pegg (“Hot Fuzz”) plays a British journalist transplanted to a high-profile NYC magazine who soon learns the bridges he burned on his way up can only lead to his downfall. Co-stars Kirsten Dunst & Megan Fox.
• “Quarantine” ( Horror Thriller ): After people quarantined in an apartment building mysteriously disappear, the only evidence left behind is a videotape shot by a TV reporter (Jennifer Carpenter) & her cameraman (Steve Harris) who were there to investigate the initial 9-1-1 call.
• “Religulous” ( Documentary ): Acid-tongued TV comic Bill Maher (“Real Time With Bill Maher”) & “Borat” director Larry Charles use the guerilla-filmmaking approach to question the beliefs of devotees to various world religions.
• Also released today: “The Beverly Hillbillies: The Official 3rd Season” (classic TV); “The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest: The Complete 1st Season” (Animation); and “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: The 5th Season” (classic TV).

THE BOX GOES SNOWY:
Despite a recent vote in US Congress to delay the transition to digital TV until June 12, some 500 American TV stations will make the switch today as originally scheduled. This partial switchover will no doubt add more confusion to an already fuzzy process. A few simple facts …
• People connected to cable or satellite TV will notice no change whatsoever.
• Americans with analog-only TV sets or who receive TV signals via antenna or ‘rabbit ears’
will find themselves without images on stations switching to digital transmission.
• To receive digital signals, analog TV owners must either buy a digital converter box, sign up for cable or satellite service, or get a new TV with a built-in digital tuner.
• Most TV sets are already digital. The easiest way to check … if it has a place to plug in a cable or satellite input, it’s digital-capable.
Bottom line: Every US city should still have at least one analog TV station running through June, but analog TV holdouts in some areas may find programming choices severely limited. Canada makes the transition in 2011.
– “PC World”

EGGCITING NEWS:

Contrary to popular belief, you can safely eat more than 3 eggs a week. A research team at the UK’s University of Surrey claims their work suggests most people can eat as many eggs as they want without damaging their health. The researchers, who have analyzed several studies on egg nutrition, say the idea that eating more than 3 eggs-a-week is bad for you is a misconception based on out-of-date evidence. In fact, limiting egg consumption has little effect on cholesterol levels. (This message brought to you by the Egg Marketing Board.)
– BBC News

URINE THE ARMY NOW:
The US Army Soldier Systems Center, the same people who came up with a sandwich they claim stays fresh for 3 years, has now figured out a way to reduce the amount of water soldiers need to carry with their food supply. A specially designed filter inside the dehydrated pouches of food will enable soldiers to create a meal using the filthiest water they can find … even their own urine. An engineer on the project points out that urine should only be used in ‘an absolute emergency’. (As if anyone would use pee to cook food if they didn’t really have to.)
– “New Scientist”

HURTIN’ MAD:

A recent University of Missouri-Columbia study suggests angry people are more likely to suffer injuries serious enough to require emergency medical care. Workplace injuries, in particular,  are more likely to occur as the result of anger. The research also suggests the risk is higher for men than for women. (For proof, just watch for flying clubs at any golf course.)
– “USA Today”

POINTING TOWARD EXCELLENCE:
Toddlers from well-off families use more hand gestures. And because of that, they more often have better vocabularies upon reaching school age, according to University of Chicago psychologists. Kids who convey more meanings with gestures at 14 months have larger vocabularies at 4-and-a-half years and are therefore better prepared for school. Parents and teachers are advised they can help children learn to speak by encouraging the use of gestures. (Yeah, I got your gesture right here …)
– “Science”

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• In Bellevue WA a 32-year-old man who heard burglars breaking into his home managed to sneak outside while calling 9-1-1 and discover the getaway van with keys in the ignition, motor running, and no one inside. So he drove it off to a pal’s house, forcing the burglars to flee on foot, leaving behind TVs, a laptop, and a jewelry box at the door.
– “NY Post”
• In Salzburg, Austria an insurance company is off the hook after facing discrimination charges. The company regularly runs employment ads seeking only those born under the signs of Capricorn, Taurus, Aquarius, Aries, and Leo. After protests from equal rights groups, an investigation by anti-discrimination authorities found no existing laws making the practice illegal. The company says the hiring technique is based on science not superstition, claiming a statistical study indicates almost all of its best employees have one of those 5 zodiac signs.
– “Daily Mail”
• In Cleveland OH police report arrested a man who called 9-1-1 and then proceeded to carry out a drug deal while the dispatcher was on the line. Apparently the dimwit called the emergency line to report that 2 men with guns were watching him, then hung up. When the dispatcher called back the man asked him to hold on during which time he completed a drug deal. At that point police were sent to the scene to arrest him.
– Yahoo News

BS AMAZING FACT:
About 6,000 satellites have been put into orbit so far.
– Magazine Monitor

BS CHRONOMETER 02.17.09


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [55] Rene Russo, Burbank CA, movie actress (“Yours, Mine & Ours”, “Get Shorty”)

1957 [52] Loreena McKennitt, Morden MB, Celtic/New Age singer (“The Mummers’ Dance”, “The Lady of Shalott”)

1963 [46] Larry the Cable Guy (Daniel Whitney), Pawnee City NE, comedian/TV personality (“Blue Collar TV”)/sometime movie actor (“Delta Farce”, “Witless Protection”)

1965 [44] Michael Bay, LA CA, film director (“Transformers”, “Armageddon”)  UP NEXT: “Transformers: Revenge Of the Fallen”, opening June 24.

1970 [39] Dominic Purcell, Merseyside UK, TV actor (‘Lincoln Burrows’ on “Prison Break” since 2005)

1971 [38] Denise Richards, Downers Grove IL, reality TV personality (“Denise Richards: It’s Complicated“)/movie actress (“The World Is Not Enough”)/often vocal ex-wife of actor Charlie Sheen

1972 [37] Billie Joe Armstrong, Oakland CA, rock singer/guitarist (Green Day-“American Idiot”, “Boulevard Of Broken Dreams”)

1974 [35] Jerry O’Connell, NYC, TV actor (“Carpoolers” 2007-08, “Crossing Jordan” 2002-07)/married to actress-model Rebecca Romijn since 2007

1981 [28] Paris Hilton, NYC, media personality/reality TV star (“Paris Hilton’s My New BFF”, “The Simple Life”)/sometime movie actress (“Repo! The Genetic Opera”, “House of Wax”)/great-granddaughter of hotel magnate Conrad Hilton

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “PTA Founders’ Day”, commemorating the parent-teacher group’s 1897 founding. It was originally known as the ‘National Congress of Mothers’.

• “Random Acts of Kindness Day”, a highlight of “Random Acts of Kindness Week”, when we’re encouraged to perform good deeds without prompting. Why? It makes both the giver and the receiver feel good.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1976 [33] The Eagles album “Their Greatest Hits 1971-1975“ is released (all-time best-seller at over 28 million units)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [06] Reality TV reaches a new low as some 40 million viewers watch fake “Joe Millionaire” (in reality, 28-year old heavy equipment operator Evan Marriott) select a potential bride from 20 ‘contestants‘ (model Zora Andrich) on FOX-TV

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2003 [06] ‘Congestion Charge Zone‘ scheme begins, whereby motorists traveling into designated central areas of London UK between 7am and 6pm must pay a daily fee (the fine for non-payment of the £8-per-day charge ranges as high as £180)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .

2003 [06] Tauranga NZ man is sentenced to 200 hours of community service for speeding … without a license or registration … on a motorized barstool … semi-naked … while intoxicated … with his butt on fire

AND REMEMBER . . .

[Wed] 2009 BRIT Awards (London)
[Wed] Thumb Appreciation Day
[Fri] Carnival begins (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
[Sat] 9th Hockey Day in Canada (CBC)
[Sat] 2009 Razzie Awards
[Sat] Spirit Awards (Los Angeles)
[Sun] 81st Academy Awards
This Week Is … Kraut & Frankfurter Week
This Month Is … Celebration of Chocolate Month

BULL’S BITS


BS THINGS TALKING BEER CANS MIGHT SAY:
11 years ago today (1998) Brazil’s Brahma Beer put out the world’s first talking beer cans, equipped with a mini-chip to tell drinkers if they’d won prizes. A few other things a beer can might say …
• “Would ya lay off the peanuts? The backwash is getting chunky!”
• “Your buddy 3 feet away can’t hear you. Talk louder!”
• “See that 400-lb babe over there with the giant mole on her nose? Kinda sweet, isn’t she?”
• “Hey jerk, you’re acting like an a—hole … you’re cut off.”
• “Here’s a really cool idea … why not take all your clothes off and set your butt on fire?”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks 2 sizes!

BS PHONE STARTER:

Music stars ask for and receive all kinds of demands in contract riders before they’ll agree to perform a concert. What specific items would you love to demand in order to show up for work?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Close to 70% of all of THESE are purchased by women.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Ringtones.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.


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