Wednesday, February 18, 2009        Edition: #3957
Ahhhh, Your Daily Bovine Colonic!


Word has it dancer-turned-country singer Julianne Hough will again be featured on “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) when the new season begins in March, competing with her real-life partner, Chuck Wicks, alongside other twosomes such as singer Jewel & her husband, pro cowboy Ty Murray . . . “Wall Street Journal” reports a group of Sirius XM Radio creditors will seek to remove CEO Mel Karmazin if the company opts for a bankruptcy filing instead of a deal with an investor that would allow it to stay solvent (either way, the latest challenge to broadcast radio is in big doo-doo!) . . . Actress Hayden Panettiere & bf Milo Ventimiglia are no more, splitting up because they’re in ‘very different places’ (if only we could say the same for “Heroes”) . . . New stats from the IFPI, the body that represents the recording industry worldwide, show that Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida or Death & All His Friends” was the best-selling album of 2008 globally (6.8 million copies), followed by AC/DC’s “Black Ice”, and the soundtrack of “Mamma Mia! The Movie” . . . Former Jackson 5 singer Marlon Jackson has come under fire for investing in a proposed $3.4-billion ‘slavery theme park’ so far known as the Badagry Historical Resort Development Project in an African town once linked to human trafficking (among its proposed ‘attractions’: a slave ship replica, a museum about slavery, and a collection of Jackson 5 memorabilia) . . . “Twilight” isn’t nominated for any “Academy Awards” but producers say it will ‘have a presence’ during Sunday’s ceremony (Robert Pattinson shirtless?) . . . And those crazy Brits are now turning the life of famous dead person Anna Nicole Smith into an opera, to be staged at London’s Covent Garden in 2011 (from the same highbrow folks who created “Jerry Springer the Opera”).


• “BRIT Awards” (ITV1) – Kylie Minogue hosts the annual UK music awards at Earl’s Court, London. Coldplay and Duffy lead nominees with 4 nods each. Performers include Coldplay, Duffy, Kings of Leon, Lady Gaga, Pet Shop Boys, and U2.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Brit pop star Lily Allen (“The Fear”) is on.
• “Indie Awards” – The 2nd annual awards for Canadian independent film & TV are handed out in Ottawa by the Canadian Film & Television Production Association. This year’s movie nominees include “Passchendaele” and “Blindness”.
• Toby Keith – He launches his new clothing line, TK Steelman, at his I Love This Bar & Grill in Las Vegas. The duds, aimed at men 25-54, include sleeveless shirts, jeans, cowboy hats, baseball caps, bandanas, belts, and leather wrist straps. A women’s line is expected to follow.
• War Child Benefit Concert – Coldplay and The Killers co-headline this benefit gig staged in London immediately after the “BRIT Awards”. Each will play a 45-minute set, with all proceeds going to the War Child charity.


• Bon Jovi – A former employee of the Philadelphia Soul, 2008 Arena Bowl football champs, is being sued by team owner Jon Bon Jovi for allegedly selling his own version of their championship rings.
• Guns N’ Roses – This Spring “Chinese Democracy” is coming to videogame “Rock Band” as a full album of downloadable content.
• Katy Perry – It apparently hasn’t taken her long to get over Gym Class Heroes’ Travis McCoy. She’s been spotted cuddling up to Good Charlotte’s Benji Madden, Paris Hilton’s cast-off.
• Keith Urban – His “Escape Together World Tour” was already expected to be one of this Summer’s biggest even before it was announced that some tickets will be offered for as little as … $20. The tour gets underway in May.
• Lil Wayne – He’s being sued for $1.3 million after he allegedly failed to show for a scheduled concert in Rochester NY … 3 times. The promoter claims he blew off the original show and subsequently 2 rescheduled dates.
• Nine Inch Nails – Frontman Trent Reznor has confirmed the band will tour later this year with the reunited Jane’s Addiction. He says it will be the last NIN shows ‘for some time’.
• Peter Gabriel – The classic rocker has rejected an offer to perform at the “Academy Awards” Sunday after discovering he’d get just 1 minute to sing a sample from his Oscar-nominated tune from Disney’s “WALL-E”.


Thanks to the economic downturn, social watchers say that rudeness is out and civility is the new rule in business. Why? The former kings of abrasive behavior – big-time bankers, hedge-fund traders, private-equity chiefs – have all been humbled. On Wall Street, one observer notes, it’s now all about charm and openness and taking time with people. During the economic crisis when there is so much uncertainty about who will end up having power, many believe the best strategy is to be civil to everyone. But as soon as things turn up again, all agree, the extra niceness will likely vanish. (May I cut your throat? Thank-you.)
– “The Economist“

if you’re planning a vacation you’d be well-advised to stay away from the 10 dirtiest hotels in America based on traveler reviews at At the very top of this list sits the Hotel Carter near NYC’s Times Square. According to one reviewer, the place is infested with ‘roaches, rats, mice, horrible smells, dirty sheets, horrifying bathrooms, and outlets that hang out of walls’. But the worst part, the reviewer says, was having a bunch of guys breaking into the room while the occupants were sleeping. (All this for only $130 a night!)
– “Curious Times”

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Geo-Blocking’ – A system that blocks access to online TV feeds by region/country. For instance, you cannot watch “Grey’s Anatomy” on the ABC-TV website in Canada; it can only be viewed at the CTV website as that network owns the broadcast/webcast Canadian rights.
• ‘Phone Five’ – Slapping a cellphone as though giving a high five. (After enough of these, you’ll be slapping down cash for a new cellphone.)
• ‘Verticalization’ – Building structures high, instead of spread out. In Los Angeles, developers are now planning a vertical shopping mall on Wilshire Boulevard.


University of Edinburgh astronomers have crunched numbers and now claim that there are an estimated 37,964 planets with life in our galaxy. The calculation used data from the 330 planets known to us, then extrapolated the number across the entire Milky Way. The astrophysicist who led the research also says that as many as 361 of those planets could be home to intelligent civilizations at least as developed as our own. But don’t expect company anytime soon … he estimates it will take about 300-to-400 years to achieve contact with one of them. (This is known as ‘Dartboard Theory’?)
– “The Telegraph”

A new ranking of the hottest actresses who were on-the-screen but out-of-this-world …
5. Sigourney Weaver … ‘Ellen Ripley’ in “Alien” movies (1979, 1986, 1992).
4. Natalie Portman … ‘Padmé Amidala’ in “Star Wars” films (1999, 2002, 2005).
3. Milla Jovovich …. ‘Leeloo’ in “The Fifth Element” (1997).
2. Halle Berry … ‘Storm’ in the “X-Men” series (2000, 2003, 2006).
1. Megan Fox … ‘Mikaela Banes’ in “Transformers” (2007) & “Transformers: Revenge Of the Fallen” (2009).
– MSN Movies

Police officers in India have discovered a new secret weapon in fighting crime … large moustaches. Officers in the state of Madhya Pradesh are growing massive ‘staches in order to join an elite 50-member team that has had great success keeping the crime rate down with their hairy upper lips. The tactic was adopted after it was discovered that local criminals with large moustaches tend to intimidate victims more. They’re hoping facial hair will work in their favor as well. (Yeah, nothing scarier than lip fuzz with cappuccino foam stuck in it.)
– “Indian Express”

• A record 1-in-9 US homes is now vacant, a glut created by the housing boom and then subsequent collapse. Historically, vacant housing has been more of a concern in cities that have poor neighborhoods. Now, it has hit suburbs and brand new subdivisions.
– “USA Today”
• Las Vegas has edged Detroit for the title of ‘America’s Most Abandoned City’. Atlanta is 3rd, followed by Greensboro NC, and Dayton OH. The ranking, a combination of rental and homeowner vacancy rates, is based on data released February 3 by the Census Bureau.
– “Forbes Magazine”


1933 [76] Yoko Ono, Tokyo, Japan, bad artist/bad singer who married well/John Lennon’s really really rich widow (to honor her birthday, you might have listeners participate in a Yoko singing contest … then again, you might just jab a set of knitting needles in your eardrums instead)

1954 [55] John Travolta, Englewood NJ, movie actor (“Hairspray”, “Pulp Fiction”)/grieving dad

1957 [52] Vanna White (Rosich), North Myrtle Beach SC, TV mannequin (“Wheel of Fortune”)  who’s been a ‘letter turner’ since 1982

1964 [45] Matt Dillon, New Rochelle NY, movie actor (“Crash”, “There’s Something About Mary”)

1965 [44] Dr Dre (Andre Young), Compton CA, rapper/hip hop recording mogul/producer (Snoop Dogg, Eminem)/sometime movie actor (“Training Day”, “Set It Off”)

1970 [39] Raine Maida, Toronto ON, alt-rock singer/songwriter (Our Lady Peace-“Somewhere Out There”, “Clumsy”)/married to singer Chantal Kreviazuk since 1999

1981 [28] Alex Rios, Coffee AL, MLB outfielder (Toronto Blue Jays)

• “Hey Diddle Diddle Day”, celebrating the ‘First Cow in Space’. 79 years ago TODAY (1930), a cow by the name of ‘Ollie’ took an airplane ride as a publicity stunt for a Wisconsin dairy farm.

• “Open a Can of Beans Day” in celebration of “Canned Food Month”, when we’re encouraged to chow down on beans during at least one meal. (Today is also ‘Evacuate the Studio Day!’)

• “Thumb Appreciation Day”, a day devoted to the digit that helps make us human … the opposable thumb. Of course that means a few other animals can celebrate as well, including koalas, opossums, and pandas; as well as chimps, gorillas, and orangutans, which have opposable thumbs … on all 4 hands. (Oh wow, we’ve got thumb envy!)

1989 [20] “Wayne’s World” with ‘Wayne Campbell & Garth Algar’ (Mike Myers & Dana Carvey) is first featured as a segment on “Saturday Night Live” (NBC)

1999 [10] George Clooney makes his final appearance as ‘Dr Doug Ross’ on “ER”, then moves on to making movies full-time (he returns for the series’ final episodes later this season)

1998 [11] Soundtrack of the movie “Titanic” is certified 6-times Platinum for sales of 6 million copies


1901 [108] 1st ‘Dust Removing Suction Cleaner’ (vacuum cleaner) is patented (inventor Cecil Booth was excited to claim “My invention sucks!”)  FACTOID: There are more than 15,000 vacuum cleaner accidents in North America annually!

1979 [30] Snow falls in the Sahara Desert

[Fri] Hoodie Hoo Day
[Fri] Carnival begins (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
[Sat] 9th Hockey Day in Canada (CBC)
[Sat] 2009 Razzie Awards (Los Angeles)
[Sat] Card Reading Day
[Sat] Single Tasking Day
[Sat] Spirit Awards (Los Angeles)
[Sun] 81st Academy Awards (Hollywood)
This Week Is … Brotherhood-Sisterhood Week
This Month Is … Spunky Old Broads Month


This weekend is “Second Honeymoon Weekend”, set aside for couples to spend quality time together away from ‘the grind and routine of their daily lives’. A good excuse to review the …
• Greyhound Bus Station ‘Terminal Diner’.
• Kabul Hilton.
• Paris … Ontario.
• Scott Research Base, Antarctica.
• Your mother-in-law’s house.
• Al’s 30-Bucks-An-Hour Motel.
• With your first husband (wife).

Have a caller/studio guest rank each item as simply good or bad as you run them by rapid-fire …
• Selling advertising on pro sports uniforms.
• Dumping analog TV.
• Bagged grocery store salads.
• Discounted concert tickets due to the economic downturn.
• Hand cream for men.
• Chris Brown’s ‘apology’.
• Slow food.
• Twitter.
• MP3 headphone splitters for sharing tunes.
• Ordering specialty coffees that require 5 adjectives.

I gave up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my shorts on fire.

Your contestant gets 15 seconds to give as many answers as possible in each category. Time’s up when the toaster SFX go off.
• Dessert items you eat with a spoon.
• Office pastimes on boring workdays.
• Things that have legs.
• Newspaper comic strips.
• Things you might wear to bed.
Toaster SFX are here if you need them …

What’s your best no-fail meal that you can always throw together on short notice?

Today’s the 264th anniversary of the birth of inventor Count Alessandro Antonio Anastasio Volta (1745). So what did he invent?
a. Bagel.
b. Battery. [CORRECT. In 1800. Yep, the Energizer bunny is his fault.]
c. Basketball.
d. Bingo.

Feeling the pressure of having to list “25 Random Things About Me” for your Facebook friends? Thank goodness for the new ‘Random Things about Me Generator’. Just click the button for another fascinating (if not ludicrous) item to add to your list.

Today’s Question: If you really want to succeed in business and life you’d be wise to do THIS with your hair.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Researchers have found that both men & women who part their hair on the left are considered more likeable, reliable, and intelligent.

Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

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