Monday, February 21, 2005        Edition: #2974
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
• TONIGHT, in a bid to totally take over your TV, “American Idol” begins a 3-episodes-per-week schedule. MONDAYS the men compete, TUESDAYS the women, then WEDNESDAYS 2 of each get sent home. Interesting to note that, of the 24 finalists, 2 are former “Star Search” contestants, 1 is a former contestant on “Your Big Break”, and another is Nikko Smith, son of Baseball Hall of Famer Ozzie Smith. (Someone should remind them saturation kills. Remember when “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” was the biggest thing on TV – then went to 3 episodes per week?)
– “Reality Blurred”
• Brit soccer star David Beckham & former Spice Girl wife Victoria are celebrating the birth of their 3rd son in Madrid, Spain, whom they’ve cruelly named ‘Cruz’. He joins the previously misnamed family members ‘Brooklyn’ and ‘Romeo’. (Which one of these do you think will eventually snap and off the parents first?)
– Ananova
• This will likely put the kibosh on his proposed reality TV show – Lindsay Lohan’s loony father was arrested for DUI and driving without a license SATURDAY after a fiery car crash on Long Island. Michael Lohan was the only occupant of a car that left the road, struck a utility pole and burst into flames. Fortunately (or perhaps not), he was able to get out before the inferno and was uninjured. (Why don’t they lock this guy up before he really hurts someone – other than his spoiled-brat daughter?)
– “E! Online”
• Kids’ WB will draw on classic Looney Tunes characters for a new series to premiere THIS FALL. “Loonatics” fast-forwards to the year 2772 to follow the descendants of ‘Bugs Bunny’, ‘Daffy Duck’, ‘Road Runner’, ‘Wile E Coyote’ and others as they use their wits and superpowers to battle the evils of ‘Acmetropolis’. (Messing with ‘Bugs Bunny’ – that’s sacrilege!)
– “USA Today”
• “BS” told you about the Website some time ago; now “Stars Without Makeup” is about to become a TV special on – what else? – FOX-TV. Network bosses have reportedly been hit with a number of pleas to scrap the show due to air this THURSDAY because it shows candid photos of stars while shopping and doing other menial tasks. Among the complainants – actresses Goldie Hawn, Melanie Griffith and Pamela Anderson. If you missed the extremely scary Website, it’s been moved here –
NET: http://www.travellady.biz/coolstuff/stars.htm
– “Daily Dish”

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Collective Soul – TONIGHT they’re on “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Franz Ferdinand – They’ve been rehearsing new material over the past few weeks and are ready to record a new album which they plan to have ready by August or September.
• Jennifer Lopez – She’ll accompany husband Marc Anthony on a brief concert tour of Spain at the end of the month and he’s reportedly trying to persuade her to join him on a more extensive tour later in the year.
• Jesse McCartney – TODAY the “Beautiful Soul” singer appears on TV’s syndicated “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
• Kanye West – He’s being slammed by magazine editors for demanding that he be paid to pose for photoshoots, even though they boost his profile and help publicize his material.
• Shania Twain – She’s teaming up with Stetson to develop her own signature fragrance line.
• U2 – Bono is among the nominees for the 2005 “Nobel Peace Prize”. His competition will include Pope John Paul II, Indian musician Ravi Shankar & former US Secretary of State Colin Powell.
• Willie Nelson – He’s cancelled an Australian tour set to begin on the weekend due to laryngitis.

FEMALE CELEBS WITH BEST ABS:
1. Actress Keira Knightley (“Pirates of the Caribbean”)
2. Singer Fergie (Black Eyed Peas)
3. Singer Gwen Stefani (No Doubt)
4. TV host Kelly Ripa (“Live With Regis & Kelly”)
5. Singer/actress Jennifer Lopez
– “In Touch” magazine survey.

MAIN MARRIAGE TYPES:
John Gottman of the Relationship Research Institute and the University of Washington has identified the 3 most stable types of marriages after conducting a 20-year study of over 600 married couples. Those most likely to succeed he says are …
• The Avoiders: They never argue because they routinely avoid conflict. While this couple may be unemotional and distant, their union can last many years.
• The Bickersons: A volatile relationship in which an argument can break out at the drop of a hat. Even with frequent and passionate arguments, such marriages tend to last.
• The Validating Couple: A husband and wife who listen to each other, respect each other’s opinion, and only occasionally argue. They pick the issues they fight about.
Gottman says as long as BOTH PEOPLE in a marriage have the same type of ‘marriage personality’, the relationship will last. Trouble occurs when there is a mix, such as an ‘Avoider’ married to a ‘Bickerson’.
– AP

MORE STIFFS WITH CELLPHONES:
German inventor Juergen Broether has created a phone which allows you to speak to the dead! The ‘Telephone Angel’ consists of a cellphone which broadcasts to a loudspeaker buried next to the coffin of your loved one. This way, he says, you can talk to your dead relative from the privacy of your own home. He came up with the idea after feeling embarrassed when others overheard him talking to his mother’s grave. By using his special phone, he says, the conversations can’t be heard above-ground and you can even call in the middle of the night when the cemetery is closed. So far, he’s only sold 3 of the $2,000-units. (How can you actually tell if it’s working? You might just be talking to yourself on a phone that’s … er …dead.)
– AFP

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Of the 242 potential jurors for Michael Jackson’s trial on child molestation charges, 26% say they know someone who has met him or has been to his Neverland Ranch, according to questionnaires filled out by the jurors.
• The USDA estimates that, on average, each of us throws out about 328 pounds of edible food each year.
• Contrary to what you might think, the greater the age split between older husbands and younger wives, the lower the chance they’ll divorce. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the divorce rate DROPS to 26% when the husband is at least 10 years older than the wife. (Hmm, maybe Michael Douglas is on to something!)

THE BULL SHEET 02.21.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [59] Alan Rickman, London UK, movie actor (‘Professor Severus Snape’ in “Harry Potter” films, “Love Actually”)

1953 [52] William Petersen, Evanston IL, TV actor (‘Gil Grissom’ on “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” since 2000)

1955 [50] Kelsey Grammar, St Thomas, US Virgin Is, formerly highest-paid TV actor ($1.6 million per episode for “Frasier” 1993-2004)/only actor nominated for the same character in 3 different TV shows (‘Frasier Crane’ in “Cheers”, “Frasier”, and a guest appearance on “Wings”)

1958 [47] Mary Chapin Carpenter, Princeton NJ, country singer (“Passionate Kisses”, “I Feel Lucky”)

1971 [34] Eric Heatherly, Chattanooga TN, country singer (“Swimming In Champagne”, “The Last Man Committed”)

1976 [29] Ryan Smyth, Banff AB, NHL forward (Edmonton Oilers, 2002 Olympic team)

1979 [26] Jennifer Love Hewitt, Waco TX, movie actress (“The Tuxedo”, “I Know What You Did Last Summer”)/sometime singer (“Bare Naked”)

1986 [19] Charlotte Church, Llandaff, Wales, classical vocal phenom (“Voice of an Angel”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Heritage Day” in Canada (except for Alberta, where “Heritage Day” is AUGUST 1st so TODAY is “Family Day”). The NDP’s Stanley Knowles lobbied the federal government for years to establish a holiday on the 3rd Monday in February as a celebration of Canada’s roots. Then Heritage Canada, led by late author Pierre Berton, succeeded in getting national recognition for the observance in 1979. Nowadays, we celebrate Canadian Heritage Day by doing … er … absolutely nothing.

TODAY is “Presidents’ Day” in the USA, always the 3rd Monday in February, originally to honor the birthdays of both Washington (February 22) & Lincoln (February 12), now recognizing all US Presidents.

TODAY is “Card Reading Day”, which either has something to do with tarot cards or getting around to reading all your Christmas cards so you can finally toss them out.

TODAY is “International Residence Hall Student Staff Recognition Day” (aka ‘Pay Back the Weasels Day’).

TODAY is UN “International Mother Language Day”. (Always found Latin was a real mother.)

THIS MONTH is “National Snack Food Month”. In a survey, 90% of respondents admit they are ‘snackers’. What’s the most unusual snack you’ve ever seen someone concoct?

THIS MONTH is “National Wedding Month”, when all those JUNE weddings get planned. A  recent poll finds that 82% of couples plan to use classic, traditional vows in their ceremony. Only 4% will completely abandon custom and compose their own vows, while 13% will compromise using a combination of tradition and their own creativity. Ask married folks how they’d plan their wedding differently if they had it to do over again. (Like maybe cancel it?)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1997 [08] Spice Girls’ “Wannabe” becomes 1st debut single by a British group to top North American charts since The Beatles

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1878 [127] 1st ‘telephone book’, published in New Haven CT, contains no numbers, just a listing of the 50 people who have phones (users call the operator and ask for a name)

1931 [74] ‘Alka Seltzer’ 1st introduced (the original ‘morning after’ pill)

1947 [58] 1st ‘Polaroid-Land camera’ is demonstrated (nude pics of Edwin Land’s wife?)

1948 [57] NASCAR (National Association for Stock Car Racing) is founded

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1983 [22] Donald Davis runs mile in record time of 6 minutes, 7 seconds – BACKWARDS!

COMING UP . . .
[Today] Presidents’ Day (USA)
[Tues] Be Humble Day (tough day for [co-host])
[Tues] World Thinking Day (followed by ‘Back to Normal Stupidity Day’)
[Wed] International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day (give someone a prize to eat one on-the-air)
[Wed] Curling is Cool Day
[Thurs] Full ‘Snow’ Moon
[Sat] 25th annual Razzie Awards
[Sun] 77th Academy Awards

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Build A Better Trade Show Image Week
International Friendship Week
Engineers Week
Live to Give Week
Eating Disorders Awareness Week

BULL’S BITS . . .
MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:

• Shouldn’t crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
• Howz come “Survivor” has spawned at least 3 lasting romances (including host Jeff Probst & former contestant Julie Berry), while almost every couple from “The Bachelor” splits up as soon as they cash in?
• Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?
• How can my chequing account be overdrawn when I still have cheques?
• If I save time, when the hell do I get it back?
• If it’s 0 degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to also?

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• I’m just sitting here listening and hoping your train of thought has some kind of caboose.
• If it weren’t for pickpockets, I’d have no sex life at all.
• No, I’m not getting smart with you … but then how would you know?
• I need someone really bad … are you really bad?
• Once again, the proverbial excrement hits the oscillating air device.

BS ‘FIND THE FAKE’:
You run down the list rapid-fire while your contestant or studio guest tries to decide which tabloid headlines are fakes …
• “One-Legged Tap Dancer Saves Money on Shoes!” [FAKE]
• “Stinky Demons Terrorize Poland!”
• “Most Ghosts Are Nuns!”
• “New Hope For the Dead!”
• “Eating Donuts Makes You Slimmer!” [FAKE]
• “Researchers Discover Language That Only Women Understand!”
• “Cannibal Eats Mother-In-Law & She Still Disagrees With Him!” [FAKE]
• “Ice Skater Chokes on Flying Sequin!”
• “Werewolves on Brink of Extinction! Monster-Rights Group Vows to Preserve Species!”
• “Fat Gal Smuggles Illegal Aliens Under Her Muumuu!”

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• What’s the one thing you learned in high school that you still use today?
• If you could be someone else for a week, who would it be?
• What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken?
• What is your spouse’s weird eating habit?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Of those who experience THIS, fully 83% are guys.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Being struck by lightning.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
A big bovine salute to renewing annual subscriber Dan Hunt @ CHUR (100.5 EZ Rock) North Bay ON; also Jaime Mendez @ KKMO (Radio Sol) Seattle WA who’s upgraded to a full year subscription; and Dick McDonough @ WMAS Springfield MA who’s back for another 6 months; we also welcome samplers this week that include Tori Hodgman @ HO-FM (Mix 101) Hobart, Tasmania; Kyler Mann @ CKUE (The Rock 95.1) Windsor ON; and Mike Lane @ KSUP (Rock Radio 106.3) Juneau AK.


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