Tuesday, February 1, 2005        Edition: #2960
Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning!

TODAY the annual compilation album of “Grammy Award” nominees is released, featuring tunes by Los Lonely Boys, Gretchen Wilson, Ray Charles, Sheryl Crow & Norah Jones . . . TODAY the 1985 Grammy-winning single “We Are the World” by the collaboration of artists knows as USA For Africa is being reissued, to raise money for tsunami victims, famine relief and AIDS treatment . . . One reason “Trading Spaces” host Paige Davis was let go – the show has lost 40% of its audience since it peaked (but isn’t that more because the home makeover format has been done to death?) . . . ABC-TV’s “Lost” is a ratings-hit but a money-loser due to high production costs, so much so that producers are threatening to leave Hawaii and shoot elsewhere unless the state comes up with tax breaks . . . NBC-TV’s new mid-season drama “Medium” starring Patricia Arquette as a housewife who uses paranormal gifts to solve crimes has already been renewed for a 2nd season, thanks to steadily growing ratings (she knew that would happen) . . . . Academy Award nominee Johnny Depp says he’s cutting back on smoking but still insists on at least 3 butts a day – after lunch, after-dinner and the ‘luxury, wild-card smoke’ (he won’t live till the Oscars!) . . . 38-year-old model & mom Cindy Crawford has turned down an offer to appear nude in “Playboy” a 3rd time (the last was in 1999) because – she doesn’t think she can trust a photographer to get it right (as in airbrushing all the middle-age flaws?) . . . Tennis pro Jennifer Capriati is dating adult film star Dale DeBone (whose screen credits include – no BS – “I Cream On Genie”) . . . Word has it actress Jennifer Aniston has been spending a lot of time with 38-year-old French actor Vincent Cassel, her co-star in the upcoming movie “Derailed” . . . Eye-candy actor Orlando Bloom has confirmed his 3-year relationship with actress Kate Bosworth is over, because of too much time apart due to their busy schedules . . . And the classic Queen hit “Bohemian Rhapsody” has been selected as Britain’s greatest #1 single of all-time in a new BBC Radio 1 poll.

• Kenny Chesney – TONIGHT he’s on “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Maroon 5 – TONIGHT they appear on NBC-TV’s “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”.
• Wynonna – TONIGHT she’ll film her concert “Her Story: Scenes From a Lifetime” at the Grand Ole Opry House in Nashville for future DVD release.

• “Ray” (Musical Bio – DVD/VHS): Golden Globe-winning actor Jamie Foxx stars in an unflinching portrait of Ray Charles’ musical genius as he overcomes drug addiction to become a legend in pop, gospel, country and jazz. Nominated for 6 Academy Awards.
• “Shall We Dance?” (Romantic Comedy – DVD/VHS): Richard Gere plays a bored, overworked estate lawyer who, upon first sight of a beautiful instructor (Jennifer Lopez), impulsively signs up for ballroom dancing lessons. Susan Sarandon co-stars as the long suffering wife. Partially shot in Winnipeg.
• “Mr 3000″ (Comedy – DVD/VHS): Bernie Mac plays a retired 47-year-old baseball player who discovers he’s actually a few career hits short of the 3,000 he thought he had. He attempts a comeback in order to reach the magic number and make it into the Baseball Hall of Fame.
• “Vanity Fair” (Drama – DVD/VHS): A bigscreen version of the classic novel by William Makepeace Thackeray starring Reese Witherspoon as ‘Becky Sharp’, the orphaned daughter of a starving English artist & a French chorus girl who attempts to make her way into early 19th-Century high society. Gabriel Byrne co-stars.
• “The Grudge” (Horror Thriller – DVD): Sarah Michelle Gellar plays an American nurse working in Tokyo who is exposed to a mysterious supernatural curse, one that locks a person in a powerful rage before claiming their life and spreading to another victim. Based on the blockbuster Japanese thriller “Ju-on”.

Dennis Hennings of Santiago, Chile has hit upon a successful business idea in which he transforms your boring old living room into – a lively pub. A team of workers swarms into your home to install a temporary bar, bar stools and a fully stocked wall of liquor. He also supplies bar staff and waiters. The idea is for the owner of the house to relax with no responsibilities and simply enjoy partying with friends. And what’s perhaps even better – the next day everything disappears! (Except the burn marks in your carpet.)
– “Las Ultimas Noticias”

A British mother-of-two believes human hair has the natural ability to clean itself – so she doesn’t bother. In fact, she hasn’t shampooed her hair for 11 years! 29-year-old Penny Weynberg didn’t even bother to rinse-and-repeat for her graduation ceremony … or her wedding. She admits her hair was greasy for the first month but claims it became less oily and more glossy as time passed. Now she simply brushes her hair daily to remove dirt and odor, thereby saving herself a fortune in shampoo and conditioner. (Did you just get really itchy too?)
– Sky News

A new series of children’s books produced by Montréal company ‘Printakid’ can be personalized for your child. You provide details about your kid via mail, fax or online – name, eye & hair color, hairstyle, skin tone, names of family & friends – and presto your kid becomes the star of his own wild adventure story! What’s all this cost? A seemingly reasonable $30-to-45, depending on length and complexity of stories.
PHONER: 888.729.9696/514.729.9696
NET: http://www.printakid.com

Child psychologist Vivian Friedman says parental anger and aggression at kids’ sporting events happens when parents identify too much with their children. Due to this total involvement, the child almost ceases to be a separate person. So when parents see other kids hitting their child, it’s as if they are being hit themselves. Friedman suggests parents quit trying to live vicariously through their children … especially when they were likely not great athletes themselves. (Hear! Hear! Don’t you hate it when parents yell out what their kid should do all through a game?)

“BS” told you about the guy who successfully rented out ad space on his forehead, generating over $30,000. Now a Gourock UK women has offered ad space on her cleavage – minimum bid $50. Never one to miss a promo opportunity, Canadian gambling Website Golden Palace.com has come up with the winning bid of $800. (Forehead … cleavage … we don’t wanna know what’s next.)
– eBay.co.uk

• Normally healthy working adults who contract the flu will be sick and highly contagious for 5-to-6 days on average. However, they only miss, on average, 1-to-3 days of work.
• In ancient China, doctors received their fees only if their patients were kept healthy. If the patient’s health failed, the doctor sometimes paid the patient.
• Washing your hands is the #1 way to avoid becoming sick, according to the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention in Atlanta GA.

“I love her eyes and those freckles. I just want to grab her little cheeks and kiss them.”  – “Let Me Love You” singer Mario, admitting he has the hots for bad-girl actress Lindsay Lohan.


1965 [40] Dwayne Dupuy, country musician (Ricochet-“Blink of an Eye”, “Seven Bridges Road”)

1968 [37] Lisa Marie Presley, Memphis TN, Elvis Presley’s idle rich daughter/wannabe singer (“To Whom it May Concern”)/ex-Mrs Danny Keough/ex-Mrs Michael Jackson/ex-Mrs Nicolas Cage

1975 [30] Big Boi (Antwan Patton), Savannah GA, hip-hop artist (Outkast-“The Way You Move”, “Hey Ya!”)

[USA] National Freedom Day (1865)

FRIDAY through February 20th, the 26th “Winterlude” celebrates the season outdoors in the capital region of Ottawa-Gatineau. The annual winter festival features ice sculptures, a playground made of snow, buskers, and best of all the Rideau Canal – the world’s longest skating rink.
PHONER: 800.465.1867/613.239.5000 (National Capital Commission)
NET: http://www.ottawastart.com/winterlude.shtml
NET: http://www.capcan.ca/winterlude

FEBRUARY is “Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month”as declared by the Food Retailers Association. Shopping carts cost more than $100 apiece and the Food Marketing Institute estimates 1.8 million of them are taken from supermarkets in North America EACH YEAR. Who do you think pays for this? You do, because it means your food ends up costing more.
PHONER: 312.737.6540 (Chicago IL)

1968 [37] “Mister Rogers Neighborhood” featuring Fred Rogers debuts on TV

1964 [41] Governor of Indiana declares “Louie, Louie” by the Kingsmen ‘pornographic’ (an ensuing FCC investigation disagrees, only finding it ‘unintelligible’)

1898 [107] 1st ‘auto insurance’ issued as Dr Truman Martin of Buffalo NY pays $11.25 for $5,000 in liability coverage (next day the company notifies him that his rates will triple because he had an accident)

1920 [85] Royal Northwest Mounted Police merge with Dominion Police to form ‘RCMP’

1968 [37] Canadian Army, Navy and Air Force merge to become ‘Canadian Armed Forces’ (but Canadians still call them ‘army guys’ – even if they’re women)

1979 [26] Beginning of ‘coldest month’ ever recorded in Canada (an average temp of -47.9 C at Eureka NWT)

[Wed] Groundhog Day
[Thurs] Men’s Grooming Day
[Fri] Midpoint of Winter
[Sat] Dump Your Significant Jerk Day
[Sat] SAG Awards
[Sun] Super Bowl 39
This Week Is . . . Catholic Schools Week
This Month Is . . . Creative Romance Month


Use ‘em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – You’ll start today off with a bang! Unfortunately for you, there’ll be several witnesses.
• Taurus – Burning yourself on the freezer was quite an accomplishment, but nothing compares to what you’ll do with a can opener next week.
• Gemini – Now that the heating is fixed in your office, be sure to turn around every 30 minutes so you cook evenly on all sides.
• Cancer – You’ll end up with no Internet for the rest of the week after you confuse your cable connection with a snake and chop off its head with a machete.
• Leo – Not only does your left hand not know what your right hand is doing … it would really prefer not to.
• Virgo – After having 4 wisdom teeth removed, you’ll discover the amazing fact that Jell-O can actually be made without tequila.
• Libra – No one knows your secret plan. Sadly, not even you.
• Scorpio – Banging a drum and screaming at the top of your lungs is very cathartic. Unfortunately, your co-workers at the weekly meeting may just find it annoying.
• Sagittarius – Don’t feel bad. How were you supposed to know that Beggin’ Strips were dog treats?
• Capricorn – You’ll be surprised at the airport customs office when you discover they don’t, in fact, need a dental license in order to do a cavity search.
• Aquarius – From where you sit you feel like you’re on top of the world! And it’s all thanks to wasting time online at the Mount Everest Webcam!
• Pisces – Today you’ll realize you’re addicted to eBay when you end up paying $74.85 for a ‘vintage copy of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer GameBoy game’.

Q: This cocktail was invented at Harry’s New York Bar in Paris and originally called a ‘Red Snapper’. What do we now call it?
A: A ‘Bloody Mary’.

Q: You are eating something made of hydrolyzed collagen, which is partially decomposed protein taken from the hides, hooves, bones and connective tissue of cows and pigs. The protein in these materials is broken down with an alkaline solution and then extracted with hot water. What are you eating?
A: Yum yum! It’s ‘Jell-O’.
– “Useless Digest”

The week’s most requested music files online …
1. Mario – “Let Me Love You”
2. Usher – “My Boo”
3. The Game – “How We Do”
4. Ludacris – “Get Back”
5. Eminem – “Like Toy Soldiers”
– Big Champagne online music measurement.

Today’s Question: As you know, FEBRUARY is the shortest month of the year. So which is the 2nd-shortest?
Answer to Give Out Next Show: APRIL beats SEPTEMBER and JUNE because it technically has 29 days, 23 hours … due to Daylight Saving Time.

Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they’re open.

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