Thursday, February 26, 2004        Edition: #2733
Can You Believe This Sheet?

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT FOX-TV will rebroadcast the final 2 episodes of “My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé” – why? – it’s the highest-rated reality series finalé of the 2003-04 season among 18-49 adults, and pulled an estimated 21 million viewers overall . . . Pink’s people are asking her to tone down her new tour’s crazy concert finalé because they can’t get insurance to cover the stunt – sliding down a giant 40-foot-high curtain without a harness … headfirst . . .“American Pie” actress Tara Reid has further cemented her rep as a lush at a recording industry party in Miami, where she reportedly drank straight vodka out of a tumbler until she passed out and had to be carried out of the club by bouncers . . . Three modest log cabins in the Australian beach-side village of Rosedale have sold for an incredible $1 million at an auction, thanks to the winning bid from one – Nicole Kidman (she needs more servant quarters?) . . . 29-year-old actress Angelina Jolie will be one of the torch bearers at this year’s Olympic Games in Athens, running one of the final legs of the relay on AUGUST 12 . . . Sean Penn, ‘Best Actor’ nominee for “Mystic River”, says he can’t walk the red carpet into the Academy Awards without getting embarrassed (bets on whether he shows for the Oscars SUNDAY?) . . . Word is notoriously camera-shy White Stripes rocker Jack White won’t be at gal-pal Renee Zellweger’s side when she walks the carpet Oscar night, but he might join her on the party circuit afterwards to celebrate what oddsmakers are betting will be her first Oscar win as ‘Best Supporting Actress’ (for “Cold Mountain”) . . . And on Oscar night, emcee Billy Crystal will have his lucky charm in his pocket as he always does when he hosts the show – his childhood toothbrush, which he used to pretend was a microphone when he’d ham it up in the mirror.

THE REVIEWS ARE IN:
What a selection of critics are saying about “The Passion of the Christ” …
• “It’s as if Gibson is measuring God’s love by the amount of blood he shows on the screen.” – “Los Angeles Daily News”
• “If Jesus actually received the amount of punishment dished out in this film, he would have been dead 3 times over before arriving at Calvary. ” – “Northwest Herald”, Crystal Lake IL
• “Lost in a labyrinth of stomach-churning pugilism, the spectacle is a hefty cross for audiences to bear.” – “Arizona Daily Star”
• “Watching it is an act of self-flagellation.” – “Coast”, Halifax NS
• “In the end, one can respect Gibson’s high intentions and dedicated work, while remaining spiritually and dramatically unmoved by the result.” – “Chicago Tribune”
• “Don’t read this if you don’t want to know what happens to Jesus at the end of ‘The Passion Of The Christ’! He dies, but … he’s not really dead! Omigawd!” – “Toronto Sun”

ON THE SET:
Producers of THIS SUMMER’s release “The Stepford Wives” are battling to re-edit the film after a disappointing first trailer, the latest hurdle for a film that Nicole Kidman almost pulled out of when co-star John Cusack quit for personal reasons and was replaced by Matthew Broderick . . . An ABC-TV biopic about legendary singer Lena Horne is on shaky ground after Ms Horne herself demanded her character would not be played by flesh-flashing Janet Jackson – that led to both Janet and exec producers walking out on the project . . . Filming will begin in mid-MARCH on the 5th ‘Batman’ film, “Batman: Intimidation”, now that the cast is rounded out – Christian Bale in the lead role, Michael Caine as butler ‘Alfred’, Morgan Freeman as CEO of ‘Bruce Wayne Enterprises’, Liam Neeson as the caped crusader’s nemesis, and Katie Holmes as eye candy . . . “Titanic” director James Cameron has snapped up the screen rights to “Ghosts Of The Vesuvius”, an upcoming book by Charles Pellegrino about the volcanic eruption that flattened Pompeii in 79 AD.

DON’T CALL ME MISTER:
Officials at the “Miss Universe” China headquarters have decided 24-year-old Chen Lili will be allowed to enter the national competition – even though SHE used to be a HE. The native of Sichuan, China underwent a sex change last NOVEMBER and is now working as a fashion model. (Her contribution to the talent competition is moustache waxing.)
Source: “The Straits Times”

HIGH-PAID PARKING:
A parking space in a Central London underground garage near the famous Harrods department store is up for sale – at $187,500 – thought to be the most expensive parking spot in the UK. One indication of the desperate parking shortage in London: another space was purchased by a mother for her 3-year-old son – for when he’s old enough to drive. Now that’s planning ahead! (She’s also put a down payment on the kid’s hearing aid.)
Source: Reuters

IS THAT RUST IN YOUR PANTS?
Curses, foiled again! If all goes well, a bill in the Colorado state assembly will soon make it illegal to wear – aluminum underwear. Huh? It seems shoplifters have found that ‘iron pants’, made by lining your underwear with aluminum foil, make it possible to sneak stolen stuff through anti-theft scanners in stores. (It also keeps you felling ‘fresh’.)
Source: “Colorado Springs Gazette”

NO GOO IN YOUR POCKET:
Some classmates at a Welsh high school have developed unmeltable chocolate for British troops serving in Iraq. The 4 Afon Taf High School students came up with the idea after they heard that chocolate treats sent to soldiers by their families were melting before they could be eaten. The secret to the recipe for heat-resistant chocolate is adding glycerine to the mix. For their efforts in the kitchen, the students have won an award at a national science contest.
Source: BBC World Edition

BS AMAZING FACT:
75% of people wash from top to bottom in the shower.

THE BULL SHEET 02.26.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1928 [76] Fats (Antoine) Domino, New Orleans LA, oldies singer (“Ain’t That a Shame”, “Blueberry Hill”)/among the first inductees into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1986)

1945 [59] Mitch Ryder (William Levise Jr), Hamtramck MI, oldies singer (Mitch Ryder & the Detroit Wheels-“Devil with a Blue Dress On”, “Jenny Take A Ride!”)

1954 [50] Michael Bolton (Bolotin), New Haven CT, overwrought has-been pop singer (2 Grammy Awards-“When a Man Loves a Woman”, “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You”)

1971 [33] Erykah Badu (Wright), Dallas TX, R&B singer (“Bag Lady”, “On and On”)

1973 [31] Marshall Faulk, New Orleans LA, superstar NFL RB (St Louis Rams)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “National Pistachio Day”, apparently honoring people addicted to having pink dye all over their mouths. Bet you can’t eat just one!

TODAY is “For Pete’s Sake Day”, which asks the pressing question, ‘Just who the hell is Pete, anyway, and why would we do anything for his sake?’

TODAY is “Levi Strauss’ Birthday” (1829-1902), who created the first Levi’s blue jeans for California’s gold miners in 1850. Without him many of us wouldn’t have a wardrobe.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1909 [95] 1st ‘cartoon’ shown in a movie theater (nowadays instead of cartoons before the main feature, you get 27 preview trailers and ads for the snack bar)

1962 [42] Broadway show with the longest name opens – “Oh Dad, Poor Dad, Mama’s Hung You in the Closet and I’m Feeling So Sad” (turns out to be the year’s ‘Best Play’ winner)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1983 [21] Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” album reaches #1, then spends a total of 37 weeks there

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1882 [122] 1st commercially manufactured breakfast cereal – ‘Shredded Wheat’

1936 [68] 1st ‘Volkswagen’ factory opens, in Germany

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] “Twisted”, ”Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights” open in movie theaters
[Fri] International Polar Bear Day
[Sat] Razzie Awards
[Sun] Bachelor’s Day
[Sun] Leap Year Day
[Sun] “Canadian Idol” auditions (St John’s NL)
[Sun] 76th Academy Awards
[Tues] “Seussentennial” (100th anniversary of Dr Seuss’s birth)
This Week Is . . . Telecommuter Appreciation Week (try a telecommuter traffic report!)
This Month Is . . . AMD (American Macular Degeneration) Awareness & Low Vision Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
10 BS MORNING SHOW STUNTS:

• ‘Start a Rumor Day’ … Ask listeners to call in the most outlandish gossip they can think up (be careful not to slander anybody). Offer a prize if any of the trashy tidbits comes back to you by the end of the week. If they cheat and get a friend to call in about a rumor, who cares? It’s still worth the prize to hear all their imaginative stories!
• ‘Morning Toast’ … A daily salute to someone local or someone in the news who’s done something really cool (for instance, won the lottery and actually QUIT their job). You tell the story, then the morning crew clinks coffee cups and offers a group ‘Salut!’.
• ‘BYOB’ … Stands for ‘Bring You Our Breakfast’. Listeners call in, e-mail or send in entries. Once a week you go on location to a draw winner’s driveway where you bring (or make) breakfast.
• ‘The Dreaded Morning Oldie’ … Every day at the same time you feature a wacky novelty song from the past that has somehow failed to pass the test of time. Assassinate the really bad ones with SFX of automatic weapons, grenades, etc.
• ‘Sound Charades’ … Use SFX to give clues to song titles, ie: Toby Lightman’s “Devils & Angels” becomes maniacal laughter over bonfire SFX followed by a harp sweep and a choir. Shania Twain’s “It Only Hurts When I’m Breathing” becomes loud inhales and exhales punctuated by ‘Ow!’, ‘Ouch!’, etc.
• ‘Cross Country Party Check’ … Great bit for Friday mornings in which you spot-check several weekend events across the nation. Pre-record quick interviews with air personalities or spokespeople, then edit them together into a collage. The events need to be either really big (“Mardi Gras”) or really weird (“World’s Longest Sausage Competitiion”).
• ‘Stump the Goof’ … Instead of you asking listeners trivia questions, have them attempt to stump the morning crew. If you don’t know it, they win!
• ‘Radio Bloopers’ … Virtually every radio station keeps a stash of on-air and production studio goof-ups. Why not share them with your listeners? The dumber they make you look, the more listeners will love ya!
• ‘Brush With Greatness’ … Ask listeners for stories about famous people they ALMOST met (no actual speaking or body contact with celebs allowed). You know, stuff like “I sat in a chair that J-Lo had just been sitting in and it was still warm … really warm.”
• ‘Sing It & Win’ … Make your show into a movie musical where people seem to burst into song for no reason whatsoever. Listeners who call in to sing questions, answers and comments are automatic winners. A good bit for March 25th, “International Sing-Out Day”.

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• I tricked my wife into marrying me. I told her I was pregnant.
• You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights … and so does she.
• A guy’s driving on the highway when his wife calls him and says, “Honey, be careful. I just heard on the radio there’s a car on freeway driving the wrong way.” The guy replies, “One? There’s millions of ‘em!”

BS ‘NATIVE NAMES’:
What is a resident of each of the following cities called?
• Sydney, Australia … Sydneysider
• Glasgow, Scotland … Glaswegian
• Halifax, Nova Scotia … Haligonian
• Sao Paulo, Brazil … Paulistano
• Phoenix, Arizona … Phoenician

BUZZ INDEX:
The Web’s most-searched items this week …
1. “The Passion of the Christ”
2. Britney Spears
3. “Sex and the City”
Source: Yahoo!

WEB GOODIE:
We’re not going to tell you what to do with it, just that it exists. Studies show most women wear the wrong bra size, but thanks to the “Ladies’ Home Journal” you now have access to the automatic online – ‘Bra Sizer’. You simply take 2 quick measurements with a tape measure, plug ‘em into the corresponding screen boxes and click. Voila! – instant correct bra size. Wow, Da Bull apparently takes a 42B!
NET: http://www.lhj.com/lhj/category.jhtml;jsessionid=TA4WSAPBCGXLRQFIBQNSCAWAVABB4IV0?categoryid=/templatedata/lhj/category/data/Fashion_BraSizerApp.xml

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average one of THESE travels 8 miles per year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Office chair.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Gossips are people who talk to you about others. Bores are people who talk to you about themselves. Brilliant conversationalists are people who talk to you … about you.

 


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