Monday, February 16, 2004        Edition: #2725
It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!!

TACKY TABLOID BS:
• “Daily Dish” claims P Diddy has stepped up his campaign to woo back ex-love Jennifer Lopez by buying her a $720,000 diamond necklace for “Valentine’s Day”. The extravagant gift has reportedly made her reconsider their future together. (Remember that old joke that goes “We’ve established what your are, now we’re just quibbling over price”?)
• “US Weekly” claims Eminem may be interested in buying Michael Jackson’s 2,600-acre Neverland Ranch in Santa Barbara CA. If true, it might be a good fit. Jackson’s already stated he’ll never live in the estate again after police ‘violated it’ last NOVEMBER, and it seems he needs cash quick – “E! Online” reports that he could go bankrupt if he can’t pay back a $66-million bank loan TOMORROW. His advisers have reportedly warned him the Bank of America could seize his biggest asset — his catalogue of Beatles songs – if he doesn’t make the payment. (Paul McCartney would be thrilled!)
• Meantime, “Extra” reports that, even though Michael Jackson’s paying $100,000 monthly rent for a Beverly Hills mansion, he remains holed up at the seaside estate of supermarket mogul Ron Burkle in La Jolla CA, one of California’s wealthiest billionaires. (Hmm, think he offers loans to pals?)
• He’s everywhere! “National Enquirer” reveals that 29-year-old Ryan Seacrest is replacing the just-departed Rick Dees on the KIIS-FM Los Angeles morning drive show. Seacrest already replaced Casey Kasem on the syndicated “American Top 40″ show, and hosts the daytime TV variety show “On-Air With Ryan Seacrest” as well as continuing to host “American Idol”. The new radio show will also be tagged “On-Air with Ryan Seacrest” and originate from the same studio as the TV show. 53-year-old Dees hosted the KIIS morning show for 22 years and hinted that he was forced out when he announced his departure last TUESDAY.
• UK’s “Sun” tab says  Ozzy Osbourne is selling off his collection of vintage motorcycles following his horrifying all-terrain vehicle crash. Oz will reportedly auction off all 18 of his machines for charity after vowing never to ride again.

“WEEKLY WORLD NEWS” HEADLINES:
• “Newest Extreme Sport – Skydiving Without a Parachute!”
• “Daycare Puts Kids in 8-Hour Coma!”
• “Saddam’s Prison Lover Tells All!”
• “Bush Readies for War with China – By Buying World’s Entire Supply of Chopsticks!”
• “Haiti Selling Off Zombies!”
• “Alien Skulls Found on Mars!”

STRESS IS GOOD?:
Scientists at Rockefeller University in New York have evidence that an acute episode of stress boosts immunity, offering better protection against infection. It seems crisis situations actually cause acute elevations in stress hormones. Researchers say this may explain why people seem to get sick more often on vacations or weekends than during weekdays.
Source: “Boston Globe”

SCHNOZ POLL:
Halle Berry’s nose has been picked … as the nicest. A new survey on the ‘Best Celebrity Noses’ also cites Nicole Kidman, Gwyneth Paltrow and Orlando Bloom. (Why not Michael Jackson? He’s got about 7 to choose from!)
Source: Waitrose poll.

MARRIAGES THAT WORK:
University of Washington researcher Dr John Gottman, who’s spent 20 years studying married couples, says there are basically 3 types of marriages that last –
• ‘Avoiders’ – A couple that routinely avoids conflict. They listen to each other but do not try to persuade each other. Such marriages may be unemotional and distant but tend to endure.
• ‘Arguers’ – Like two lawyers in a courtroom, they argue at the drop of a hat. Such marriages tend to last even though there are frequent and impassioned arguments.
• ‘Validators’ – They listen to each other, respect each other’s opinion and only occasionally argue. They pick the issues they fight about.
Marriages with spouses from different categories are the ones that seem to most often run into trouble.
PHONER: 888.523.9042 (The Gottman Institute, Seattle WA)

REALLY BAD HAIR DAYS:
Ancient Romans went to great lengths to keep looking young and beautiful like their gods and goddesses. They plastered their heads with herbs and earthworms to keep gray hairs away. To prevent baldness, they wore a paste made of bear grease and myrtle berries. (So cheer up, your ‘frizzies’ and ‘split ends’ aren’t so bad!)

LONG MEMORIES:
Harvard University psychologist Daniel Gilbert tells “New Scientist” magazine that humans have a built-in mechanism that automatically kicks in to deal with intense feelings. As a result, we often get over these feelings relatively quickly while less intense feelings tend to linger. So what’s that mean to everyday relationships? You are liable to stay PO-ed longer with your mate for leaving dirty dishes in the sink than for cheating on you! Gilbert says this explains why spouses can bear a lifelong grudge for a seemingly minor transgression. (This is why a wife can tell you something embarrassing you did at a party 14 years ago.)

MR UGLY:
A Chinese man will undergo 3 months of plastic surgery to transform his looks after winning a an ‘ugly contest’ in China’s central Hubei province. The unemployed man says he even lost his job because he was so unattractive. His makeover will focus on his face. The poor guy says he’s never had a ‘romantic experience’ even though he’s 30-years-old. (All this time I didn’t know [co-host] was Chinese.)
Source: “Shanghai Morning Post”

FOR THE RECORD:
5,122 Filipino couples kissed simultaneously for 10 seconds to welcome “Valentine’s Day” and set a new world record for ‘largest group kiss’ at the weekend ‘Lovapalooza’ in Manila.

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• The screw-top cap on most brands of vanilla extract equals one teaspoon. When in a hurry baking something, the cap can be used to measure.
• The city of ‘San Juan’ used to be known as ‘Puerto Rico’ (which means ‘rich port’ in Spanish), while the island of ‘Puerto Rico’ was originally named ‘San Juan’.

THE BULL SHEET 02.16.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1958 [46] Ice T (Tracy Morrow), Newark NJ, TV actor (Detective ‘Fin Tutuola’-”Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” since 2000/movie actor (“The Heist”)/hip-hop artist (‘The Father of Gangsta Rap’)

1959 [45] John McEnroe, Wiesbaden Air Force Base GER, TV tennis analyst/Hall of Fame player ranked #1 for 4 years in the 1980s

1961 [43] Andy Taylor, Dolver-Hampton ENG, classic rock musician (Duran Duran-”The Reflex”, “Hungry like the Wolf”) currently making a comeback

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Heritage Day” in Canada (except for Alberta, where “Heritage Day” is August 1st so TODAY is “Family Day”). The NDP’s Stanley Knowles lobbied the federal government for years to establish a holiday on the 3rd Monday in February as a celebration of Canada’s roots. Then Heritage Canada, led by author Pierre Berton, succeeded in getting national recognition for the observance in 1979. Nowadays, we celebrate Canadian Heritage Day by doing … um … er … absolutely nothing.

TODAY is “Presidents’ Day” in the USA, always the 3rd Monday in February, originally to honor the birthdays of both Washington (February 22) & Lincoln (February 12), now recognizing all US Presidents.

TODAY is “Heart 2 Heart Day”, a day to confide in your diary. Start young and before you know it, you’ll have written a whole book! (Causing endless embarrassment when you’re older.)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1990 [14] 1st issue of “Entertainment Weekly” magazine (kd lang on the cover)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1974 [30] Elton John releases “Bennie & the Jets” (originally the B-side of “Candle in the Wind”)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
600 [1404] Pope Gregory the Great issues papal decree declaring ‘God Bless You’ the proper response to a sneeze (replacing the previously used response, ‘Get any on ya?’)

1937 [67] The synthetic fabric ‘nylon’ is 1st patented to be used to replace hog bristles in toothbrushes (ewww, thank god!)

1959 [45] Fidel Castro 1st becomes leader of Cuba (1st as ‘Premier’, then changing title to ‘President’ in 1976)

1968 [36] 1st use of ‘9-1-1′ emergency code (Haleyville AL)

1994 [10] Apple introduces 1st ‘digital camera’ that allows users to download photos directly into computers

1999 [05] Federal Finance Minister Paul Martin tables budget with first ‘surplus’ in years

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1980 [24] ‘World’s Longest Traffic Jam’ extends 180 km (108 mi) from Paris to Lyons FRA

1997 [07] 25-year-old Jeff Gordon becomes ‘Youngest-Ever Daytona 500 Winner’

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Brit Awards (music)
[Fri] Second Honeymoon Weekend
[Fri] National Student Volunteer Day
[Sat] Card Reading Day
[Sun] Screen Actors Guild Awards (SAG)
[Sun] Shrovetide / Carnival Week begins

THIS WEEK IS . . .
This Week Is … Heart Failure Awareness Week (wouldn’t you be SLIGHTLY aware if this was happening?)
This Month Is … International Expect Success Month (next month is ‘Admit It, You’re A Huge Failure Month’)

BULL’S BITS . . .
WORLD’S TOP NUDE BEACHES:

(Just to warm you up on a winter’s day.)
1. Playa Es Cavallet, Ibiza, Spain
2. Swanbourne Beach, Perth, Australia
3. Mazo Beach, Mazomanie, Wisconsin
4. Baker Beach, San Francisco, California
5. Tulum Beach, Tulum, Mexico
6. Orient Beach, St Martin, West Indies
7. Morfa Dyffryn, North Wales, UK
8. Cap d’Agde, France
9. Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
10. Bellevue Beach, Klapenburg, Denmark
Source: AskMen.com

BS TRIVIA:
Q: You suffer from ‘blennophobia’. What are you afraid of – blushing, fur balls, or slime?
A: Slime.

Q: Where does more cheating take place – in gambling casinos or in private gambling games?
A: According to “Gambler’s Digest”, more cheating takes place in private, ‘friendly’ games than in all other gambling games combined.

Q: T or F? In 1 year, hens in North America lay enough eggs to circle the globe.
A: False. In a single year, they lay enough eggs to circle the globe over 100 TIMES.

TOP SWAPS:
LAST WEEK’S most requested music files online …
1. Britney Spears – “Toxic”
2. Kelis – “Milkshake”
3. OutKast – “Hey Ya”
4. Chingy – “One Call Away”
5. Eamon – “F**k It”
Source: “Big Champagne”

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• “Is it wrong to use your ex- for a night of sex if you’re going through a sexual drought?” (In a “Glamour” magazine poll, a frustrated 55% say ‘no’. In fact, 47% of divorced respondents admit they’ve done it!)
• “What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever gotten?” (Mine was, “Don’t pay too much attention to advice you get.”)

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• Relationships are like a full-time job and we should treat them like one. Like if your partner wants to leave you, they should be required to give 2-weeks’ notice … and find you a temp.
• I bet you a buck I can tell you where you got those shoes. You got them on your feet.
• According to “W” magazine, Ashton Kutcher is moving in with Demi Moore. Apparently the adoption papers finally went through.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 50% of us admit to being worried about THIS while driving.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Falling asleep at the wheel.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Remember, an apple a day will not prevent brake failure.

SALUT!!
“The Bull Sheet” welcomes new subscriber Danny Thompson @ 104.8 CHANNEL 4 Dubai UAE and this week’s samplers that include Deb Godoy @ KLPX Tucson AZ, John Jackson @ POWER 104 Kelowna BC, Charles McKinley @ Internet Radio, Montgomery AL, Danny Ryan
@ 101.5 THE EAGLE Salt Lake City UT, DC Chymes @ WMLL St Louis MO, Noelle Trolio @ KBSG Seattle WA, and Carl Kinsman @ COOL FM Belfast N IRE.

 


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