Tuesday, February 10, 2004        Edition: #2721
Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘N Fresh!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY Norah Jones’ 2nd CD, “Feels Like Home”, hits music stores almost exactly a year after she swept the 2003 Grammy Awards . . . TONIGHT-Friday “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” originates from the Elgin Theatre in Toronto, with guests that include Mike Myers, Michael J Fox, Eric McCormack, Adam Sandler (the sole American), comedian Ron James, and musical acts Nickelback and Barenaked Ladies (4 shows after midnight – worth taxpayers ponying up a million bucks?) . . . Jennifer Aniston will next hit the bigscreen in an as-yet-untitled comedy in which she plays a daughter who discovers her family’s darkest secret was the inspiration for the movie “The Graduate” and that she may be the biological offspring of that scandal . . . Jennifer Aniston has reportedly bought hubby Brad Pitt the horse he rode while playing ‘Achilles’ in the upcoming epic “Troy” (opening MAY 14th) as a belated birthday gift, having it shipped to LA all the way from the movie’s location in Malta . . . Seems we’ll be seeing a lot more of Brad Pitt – literally – he’s currently filming the thriller “Mr & Mrs Smith” with Angelina Jolie which includes a steamy love scene revealing his coot widdle tush . . . Thanks goodness needy Donald Trump has steady work – NBC-TV has renewed his reality show “The Apprentice” for a 2nd season, likely to start THIS FALL . . . Nicole Kidman has been given the all-clear following a breast cancer scare LAST MONTH when doctors spotted something suspicious during a routine check-up . . . Film-maker George Lucas is unhappy with the script for “Indiana Jones 4″ so it’s being delayed and is now unlikely to open until 2006 (when star Harrison Ford will be about 92) . . . Catherine Zeta-Jones has further cemented her rep’ as a witch with a ‘b’ by unceremoniously dumping her agent of 10 years, George Freeman, right after he negotiated a whopping $10 million fee for her to do a sequel to “The Mask of Zorro” . . . And here’s a twist – obscure German ‘progressive electronic-trip rock’ band Eisbecher is bundling 2 blank CD-Rs with each copy of their new album to encourage the downloading of music for private use (that should at least guarantee they’ll get 2 bucks for their lousy ‘progressive electronic-trip rock’ album).

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Intolerable Cruelty” (Romantic Comedy – DVD/VHS): George Clooney & Catherine Zeta-Jones star in this dark Coen Bros comedy about a revenge-seeking gold digger who weds a womanizing Beverly Hills lawyer with the intention of making a killing in the divorce. Supporting cast includes Cedric the Entertainer as a private eye and Billy Bob Thornton as an oil billionaire.
• “In the Cut” (Psychological Thriller – DVD): Meg Ryan plays a desperately lonely NYC teacher who has an erotic affair with a police detective (Mark Ruffalo) investigating a series of grisly murders in her neighborhood.
• “Wonderland” (True Crime – DVD): The LAPD investigates a quadruple murder on Wonderland Avenue in Laurel Canyon and discover a seedy world of drugs and violence that involves, among others, porn legend John Holmes (played by Val Kilmer). “Friends” star Lisa Kudrow plays his estranged wife.
• “Party Monster” (True Crime – DVD): In his first role since 1994′s “Richie Rich”, Macaulay Culkin plays NYC club king & party organizer Michael Alig, whose life was sent spiraling down when he bragged on TV about killing his drug dealer and roommate.

MUG MEANINGS:
University of California psychology professor Paul Ekman says our facial muscles are limited to a total of just 43 movements, but in combination they can form over 10,000 different expressions. Elkman claims most of us are lousy at reading faces – so let’s try some experiments (you can even do them while commuting!) …
• First, put on your best ‘surprised’ face.
• Okay, now let’s try a ‘fearful’ face. What’s the difference? For both, the eyebrows go up and the mouth opens. But when you’re afraid, the mouth also tightens and pulls back.
• Now, let’s see you look ‘disgusted’.
• And now switch that to ‘angry’. What’s the difference this time? For both, the eyebrows are lowered but a secondary characteristic of an angry face is pressing the lips tightly together.
(Good job! Now let’s see your expression for being called into your boss’s office … to get a new position … in Nunavut … where you’ll be vice-president … of shoveling … for less money …)
Source: “Smithsonian” magazine.

TAKING A STANCE AGAINST PANTS:
Was Sting’s get-up at the Grammys part of the ‘man skirt’ movement … or was he just still in his bathrobe when his curtain call came? About 100 men in skirts paraded in NYC on the weekend, calling for an end to the ‘Tyranny of Trousers’. The so-called ‘Bravehearts’ want men to have the right to wear skirts, an idea that’s spreading in the UK, throughout Europe, and now in North America. They’re promoting what are called ‘Male Unbifurcated Garments’ (‘MUGs’ for short), skirt-like garments specifically designed and intended for men, that come in several forms – kilts, sarongs, caftans and mannerrocks (German for ‘mens skirt’). French designer Jean Paul Gaultier, who created his first skirt for gentlemen back in 1984, is the fashion industry’s most stubborn advocate of men escaping the tyranny of trousers. But do most men really think that they are suffering from ‘fashion bondage’? And is this the time of year to be wearing a skirt?
NET: http://www.kiltmen.com

ITALIAN JOE:
Who drinks the most java? Perhaps not surprisingly, a coffee survey shows that more than 70 million cups of espresso are gulped down in Italy’s 110,000 coffee bars each day. That’s about 600 shots per person per year, the highest espresso consumption in the world. 80% of Italians say a morning trip to their local coffee bar is a ‘necessity’, men 35-54 being the most dedicated. 74% of Italians prefer straight-up espresso, 10% opt for ‘macchiato’ (with a hint of milk), and 8% go for ‘ristretto’ – a very small, but extremely strong jolt of caffeine. (Here at the station, the staff room machine mostly sells 10-W-30.)
Source: ABC News

KITCHEN CALISTHENICS:
Observers say the traditional fitness club market is just about saturated in North America so health clubs now need to look for new ways to generate revenue. Many are offering innovative ‘lifestyle classes’ – from nutrition to smoking cessation – to bring in new clients. Some are even hiring chefs to give cooking classes in order to help clients keep off the weight they dropped by working out. And in case you’re wondering, people who don’t want to join the gym can usually sign up just for the cooking lessons. (This is reminiscent of women’s magazines that offer tips on losing weight in the same issue as great new chocolate cake recipes.)
Source: “Globe & Mail”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
• A poll of 25,000 people finds that about 28% are trying to lose weight most of the time. (‘Cause the flabby other 72% are crowding them.)
• An IKEA poll finds that couples who have the most sex usually have their bed near a window. (Anything to keep warm!)
• A match.com poll reveals that 90% of respondents think couples who meet in coffee houses last longer than those who meet in bars. (Yeah, I always find true love while inhaling a maple dip at Timmy’s.)
• A National Confectioners Association poll finds ‘Luv U Always’ is the most popular message on those little candy hearts for Valentine’s Day. (Slightly ahead of ‘Have Another Candy, Porky!’.)

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Janet Jackson’s right breast has become the most-searched image in Internet history.
• A new credit card poll finds that men plan to spend about 4 times as much as women on Valentine’s Day loot THIS YEAR.
• Afghanistan is now producing 9 times the quantity of drugs it did while under the Taliban.

THE BULL SHEET 02.10.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [65] Adrienne Clarkson (Poy), Hong Kong, well-travelled Governor-General of Canada since 1999/former TV journalist (“Adrienne Clarkson Presents: …”, “The Fifth Estate”)

1955 [49] Greg Norman, Melbourne AUS, pro golfer (‘The Great White Shark’) who holds the record for lowest 72-hole total (267 in 1993)

1967 [37] Laura Dern, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (“I Am Sam”, “Jurassic Park 1 & 3″) who  was once engaged to actors Billy Bob Thornton & Jeff Goldblum (at different times)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “For the Birds Day”, a highlight of “Wild Bird Feeding Month”. (So check your cookbook for some yummy wild game recipes. What … we got this wrong?)

THIS WEEK is “Rejection Awareness Week”, to draw attention to people who’ve taken a chance on love and had their hearts stomped on. (Aww cheer up, folks. After all, losers are people too!)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1990 [14] 1st female artist to have an album in the top 10 for over 50 weeks (“Forever Your Girl” by current “American Pop Idol” judge Paula Abdul)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1870 [134] 1st ‘YWCA’ (NYC)

1957 [47] 1st ‘Styrofoam cooler’ (next day, the 1st ‘road trip’)

1996 [08] IBM’s Deep Blue notches 1st ‘tournament victory by a computer‘ under classic chess rules, beating world chess champion Garry Kasparov

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1982 [22] 28 skiers perform a simultaneous back-flip while holding hands (Bromont QC)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Inventors Day
[Wed] Satisfied Staying Single Day
[Wed] Juno nominations announced
[Fri] Get A Different Name Day
[Sat] Valentine’s Day
[Sun] Daytona 500
[Sun] British Academy of Film & Television Arts Awards (BAFTAs)
[Sun] NBA All-Star Game (LA CA)
This Week Is . . . Random Acts of Kindness Week
This Month Is . . . Snack Food Month / Fiber Focus Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
UNPOPULAR BS VALENTINES:

• “Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss … but I only slept with you ‘cause I was so pissed.”
• “I thought it impossible that I could love another, until that is I met your hunky brother.”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.”
• “We were in love and I was your missus, until I found out you prefer manly kisses.”
• “Kind, intelligent, loving and hot … this describes everything that you are not.”
• “I want to feel your sweet embrace … but please don’t take the paper bag off your face.”
• “I love your smile, your face, and your eyes … damn, I’m so good at telling big lies!”
• “I see your face whenever I’m dreaming, ‘tis the reason I’m forever waking up screaming.”
• “Roses are red, emeralds are greener, I got remarried … neener, neener, neener!”
• “You once said you loved me completely, from my breasts to the curve of my thigh. Sorry for the surprise on “Jerry Springer”, but I thought that you knew I was a guy.”
• “Your champagne was acid, your chocolates were greasy, your roses were flaccid, and you made me queasy. Any questions?”

BS QUICK-PICK TRIVIA:
• Which of these words was NOT added to the 11th edition of the “Merriam-Webster Dictionary”?
a. Phat.
b. Cheesed off.
c. Hizzle. [CORRECT]

• According to an dating Website poll, what percentage of users admit they’ve dumped someone or been dumped via e-mail?
a. 25%.
b. 50%. [CORRECT]
c. Only the losers … in other words, 100%.

• Drooling, a fear of water, and paralysis are all symptoms of which disease?
a. Schizophrenia
b. Rabies [CORRECT]
c. Alcoholism

• The average Los Angeles resident spends 90 hours a year doing which?
a. Waiting in rush-hour traffic. [CORRECT]
b. Applying suntan lotion.
c. Trying to decide if they’re fake or real.

• What’s the top health-related issue searched by 18 to 34-year-old males at the “Yahoo! Health” Website?
a. Herpes.
b. Equipment Enhancement.
c. Pregnancy. [CORRECT]
Source: Condensed & edited from “Maxim”.

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• Did you see Joan Rivers trashing the Grammy stars on “Fashion Police” LAST NIGHT? Like she should talk … it looks like she plans to keep having face-lifts until her ears meet.
• My school was tough. When they searched you for weapons and you didn’t have any … they gave you some.
• Ziggyphobia: the fear of getting Ziggy love cards.
• Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
• I used to snore so loud I woke myself up, but not any longer. Now I sleep in a different room.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question:  9 out of 10 people say they cannot start their day without THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: An alarm clock.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.

 


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