Friday, February 7, 2003        Edition: #2472
This isn’t reality radio – someone actually writes this sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY casting gets underway in Los Angeles for a 3rd season of the TV cheat show “Temptation Island” (where a sleazy résumé is actually preferred!) . . . SUNDAY Mariah Carey will be performing a ‘special musical tribute’ to Michael Jordan during the half-time show at the “NBA All-Star Game” (what‘ll she sing – “Hero”? “Underneath the Stars”?) . . . 22-year-old Sum 41 singer/guitarist Deryck Whibley (the pride of Ajax ON) admits to having sex with groupies after taking cocaine, and brags to an interviewer he once bedded 3 in a day (in case you were wondering where our new heroes are coming from) . . . Alanis Morissette has revealed she is bisexual, telling an interviewer she’s attracted to women all the time and once had a ‘full relationship’ with a female, though she’s now dating Vancouver actor Ryan Reynolds (“Van Wilder”) . . . Bruce Willis tells the MARCH issue of “Men’s Journal” that the perfect pick-up line is – “What are you doing for sex tonight?” (wow, clever!) . . . Could 18-year-old Avril Lavigne be less innocent than she appears? One tabloid is reporting she was spotted in a Miami Beach club drinking heavily (underage) and swapping spit with the guy on whose lap she was perched (could be the strict Baptist upbringing) . . . Michael Jackson says the TV documentary about him was ‘unfair’ and he feels ‘more betrayed than perhaps ever before’ (awww, poor little freak) . . . Even after his shocking revelations in the TV interview, his ex-wife Debbie Rowe is defending him, saying he’s ‘a wonderful father’ (this from the woman who was dippy enough to actually marry the creep!).

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
Kate Hudson plays a journalist writing an article on dumping guys who winds up with single player Matthew McConaughey who has a bet he can stay in a relationship in the romantic comedy “How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days” (10 days? Make him go shopping with you – you’ll lose him in 10 minutes! Talk about marriage – 10 seconds!) . . . Jackie Chan & Owen Wilson re-team in the action comedy “Shanghai Knights” as a mismatched duo in 1880s London trying to track down ‘Jack the Ripper’ (a follow-up to 2000′s “Shanghai Noon“) . . . LL Cool J & Gabrielle Union co-star in the romantic comedy “Deliver Us from Eva”, the story of an uptight young woman who constantly meddles in the affairs of her sisters and their husbands, so they pay a guy to keep her busy (and Cupid predictably gets out his bow & arrow).

SPLIFF FLICKS:
Pro-pot “High Times” magazine has announced its nominees for this year’s “Stony Awards”, handed out to cannabis-friendly movies and actors. The nominees for ‘Best Stoner Movie’ are “Van Wilder”, “Undercover Brother”, “Orange County”, “Friday After Next” & “Super Troopers”. “Orange County’s” Jack Black and “Scooby Doo’s” Matthew Lillard are the front-runners for the ‘Stoner Of The Year’ award. Winners of the “Stonies” will be announced MARCH 5.

POWER NAP:
A new study from Australia’s Flinders University finds that a 10-minute afternoon nap significantly improves alertness, energy and productivity while reducing fatigue. The energy increase is felt immediately upon awakening and the after-glow lasts up to 155 minutes. But the researchers warn that if you snooze past the 10-minute mark, you lose the rejuvenating side-effects. (What if you’re only awake for 10 minutes at work, does that make you super productive?)

THE UPSHOT OF POT:
Trend-analysis group Research Business International has already put together a study advising companies about how the consumer market will change if cannabis smoking becomes legal. “London Observer” reports that one result would be a $300-million per week increase in take-out food sales and sales of ‘munchie’ products. And because pot use affects TV choice, ‘thinking channels’ such as the Discovery Channel would experience an immediate increase in viewers. (As well as the Cartoon Network.)

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
• In a new poll conducted by Hanes, 2 out of 3 men say they consider underwear tags ‘annoying’.
• According to a new Hallmark Canada poll, the least popular place in the house to hug someone is the laundry room. And when it comes to kissing, the laundry room tied for last – with the garage.

WEAPONS OF MASS DISTRACTION:
Stanford University linguist Geoffrey Nunberg has a pet peeve – people who mispronounce the word ‘nuclear’ as ‘nucular’. High profile repeat offenders include ‘Homer Simpson’, Jay Leno, and, yes, George W Bush.

FOOD FAVES:
In it’s annual poll on favorite foods, “Bon Appetit” magazine finds our favorite veggies are tomatoes, asparagus & mushrooms. Least favored – turnips, lima beans & Brussels sprouts.
On the meat side, steak is best while liver ranks worst. Our favorite ‘comfort food’? Pasta!

WACKY WORLD OF BS:
• Lion Breweries has dropped plans to use women dressed as ‘Lion Red nurses’ selling beer and giving away product at an international rugby tournament in New Zealand THIS WEEKEND. Several nursing organizations complained the idea portrays nurses as sex objects and bimbos. (But rugby fans responded, “Is that a bad thing?”)
• Didn’t I see this on “Six Feet Under”? Two families of mourners, both burying mothers in a Bulgarian cemetery, had their solemn occasion interrupted by a pair of rival undertakers who went at each other in a fierce battle of shovels. They were fighting over a recent court ruling that ended a monopoly on digging graves. The battle royal ended when one blood and muck-covered undertaker was knocked into an open grave. (Since when did the WWE get into the funeral biz?)
• A court in India has ruled that eunuchs are male, barring them from seeking elected offices reserved for women. (So there you go. Even a guy with no balls is still a guy.)
• Doctors in Lodz, Poland say the only way to combat corruption in hospitals – is to legalize bribery. So they’re drafting a law that would guarantee better care and tax breaks for patients who pay a fee. (Next they’ll attempt to reduce the overpopulation on death row by legalizing murder.)
• A Joshua Tree CA man is facing prison time after his 6-year-old son brought marijuana to school – for show-and-tell! Douglas Ballard faces 4 or more years in prison after his son brought pot, a pipe and a lighter to his elementary school last month. (He’s charged with failure to provide snacks.)
• An 85-year-old Romanian man appears to have died from ‘spontaneous self-combustion’. Investigators say no one can explain why more than 80% of the man’s head melted away but his shirt and clothes had no trace of burning whatsoever. Several doctors say it’s possible the man suffered carbon monoxide poisoning and fell into his fireplace, setting his head on fire. But police forensic experts say that’s not possible, the fire wouldn’t have been hot enough to reduce the man’s head to the size of an orange. (Quick, somebody call ‘Griss’ over at “CSI”!)

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• A new study by human resources company G Neil finds that lawsuits over ethnic origin and age now outnumber sexual harassment lawsuits in the workplace. (Fewer blonde jokes, more Lithuanian grampa jokes?)
• According to new figures from StatsCan, the average age of Canadian brides has risen to 31.3 years. The average Canadian groom is now 33.8 years-old.

THE BULL SHEET 02.07.2K3

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1955 [48] Miguel Ferrer, Santa Monica CA, TV actor (Deputy Chief Medical Examiner Garret
Macy-“Crossing Jordan”)/movie actor (“Traffic”)/son of late actor José Ferrer & Rosemary Clooney/George Clooney’s cousin

1960 [43] James Spader, Boston MA, movie actor (“Crash”, “Stargate”, “sex, lies & videotape”)

1962 [41] Garth Brooks, Tulsa OK, country singer whose “Ropin’ the Wind” was the 1st album to debut at #1 on both the country and pop charts in “Billboard”

1966 [37] Chris Rock, Georgetown SC, comedian/movie actor (“Nurse Betty”, “Lethal Weapon 4″)  UP NEXT: Plays a Washington DC alderman who’s unexpectedly asked to fill in when a presidential candidate dies in the comedy “Head of State”, opening MARCH 28.

1978 [25] Ashton Kutcher, Cedar Rapids IA, TV actor (Michael Kelso-“That ’70s Show” since 1998)/movie actor (“Just Married”, “Dude, Where’s My Car”)  COMING UP: The sequel, “Seriously Dude, Where’s My Car?”

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [63] Ted Koppel, Lancashire ENG, TV journalist with bad hair (“ABC Nightline” since 1980)/winner of 25 Emmy Awards

1941 [62] Nick Nolte, Omaha NE, movie actor (“Affliction”, “Prince of Tides”, “48 Hours”) who checked into rehab last September after DUI arrest for GHB, the ‘date rape’ drug  NEXT FILM: Plays ‘Dr Brian Banner’ in director Ang Lee’s sci-fi thriller “The Hulk”, coming JUNE 20

1955 [48] John Grisham, Jonesboro AR, lawyer-turned-novelist (“The Summons”, “A Painted House” [his best book?], “The Firm”)  COMING UP: The bigscreen adaptation of his bestseller “The Runaway Jury”, starring John Cusack, Rachel Weisz, Gene Hackman & Dustin Hoffman

1966 [37] Kirk Muller, Kingston ON, NHL winger (Dallas Stars)

1974 [29] Seth Green, Overbrook Park PA, 5′-4″ movie actor (Scott Evil-“Austin Powers I-III”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Wave ALL Your Fingers At Your Neighbors Day” (instead of just the middle one).

TODAY is “Girls & Women In Sports Day”. (Also known as ‘Women Who Don’t Shave Their Legs Day’.)

TOMORROW is “Laugh and Grow Rich Day”, when we’re reminded that people are more effective, tend to remember things better, and are more likely to stay in the same job when laughter abounds!

TOMORROW is “Boy Scout & Girl Scout Day”, celebrating the incorporation of the Boy Scouts of America by William D Boyce of Chicago on this day in 1910. He didn’t, however, conceptualize the scouting movement – the Boy Scouts were originated by the UK’s Sir Robert Baden-Powell.

SUNDAY is “National DAV Day”, which stands for ‘Develop Alternative Vices’, a day to change your habits and improve yourself.

SUNDAY the 20th annual Yukon Quest, an 11 day, 1000-mile sled dog race from Whitehorse YT to Fairbanks AK gets mushing with a purse of $125,000.
PHONER: 867-668-4711 (Stephen Reynolds, Event & Marketing Manager)
NET: http://www.yukonquest.org/

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1875 [128] 1st ‘tattooing machine’ (Samuel O’Reilly-NYC)

1964 [39] The Beatles 1st North American tour begins in NYC, the so-called ‘British Invasion’

1988 [15] 1st episode of “America’s Most Wanted” on FOX-TV (credited with the capture of over 700 fugitives)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1976 [27] Toronto Maple Leaf Darryl Sittler scores NHL-record 10 points in a single game, including 6 goals, vs Boston Bruins

AND REMEMBER . . .
[1 week] Valentines Day (women have already bought their cards)
[Mon] Umbrella Day
[Mon] Clean Out Your Computer Day
[Tues] 75th Academy Awards nominations announced
[Tues] National Inventors Day
[Tues] Satisfied Staying Single Day
This Week Is . . . Pride in Food Service Week / Women’s Heart Health Week
This Month Is . . . Sweet Potato Month / Black History Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS INTERVIEWS:

• According to the International Council on Active Aging, fitness clubs are falling down when it comes to serving seniors and they should adapt quickly because – seniors are the fastest growing demographic in the fitness industry. Ask what fitness centers need to do to attract more oldsters.
PHONER: 866-335-9777 (Colin Milner, CEO, ICAA)
• The retired founder of the ‘Museum of Questionable Medical Devices’, Bob McCoy, has donated his entire collection to the Science Museum of Minnesota. It includes an array of truly weird medical contraptions that were actually on the market, such as the ‘Solarama Bed Board’ which allegedly re-grew missing limbs. Ask what else is in the collection and if any modern-day devices are likely to qualify as additions.
PHONER: 651-221-9444 (St Paul MN)

BS BLATANT JOKE:
I asked dad if I was a gifted child. He said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: This is the #1 tip from romance authors on what you should do for your man for Valentine’s Day.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Take him shopping for your lingerie.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The rooster may crow, but the hen delivers.

 


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