Thursday, February 18, 2010        Edition: #4201
Ahhhh, Your Daily Bovine Colonic!


BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:

50-year-old media mogul Simon Cowell (“American Idol”) has reportedly presented his 36-year-old makeup artist-girlfriend Mezhgan Hussainy with a large diamond ring, placing it on her engagement finger during a romantic Valentines Day dinner (you’re going to Hollywood!) . . . At the annual Academy Awards nominees luncheon, stars have been advised not to cry during their acceptance speeches because teary-eyed thank-yous are ‘the single most-hated thing on the show’ (except for Meryl Streep) . . . 23-year-old hottie actress Megan Fox (“Transformers”) says she’s desperate to have children (any volunteers?) . . . CBS-TV is bringing back “Hawaii Five-O” (1968-80), a cop drama about an elite branch of the Hawaii State Police, starring Aussie actor Alex O’Loughlin (“Moonlight”), Taryn Manning (“Hustle & Flow”) & Daniel Dae Kim (“Lost”) . . . FOX-TV is developing a comedy called “Strange Brew”, about a family that runs a small regional brewery, which will star Laurie Metcalf (“Easy Money”, “Roseanne”) . . . Pseudo-singer/sorta-actress Jessica Simpson tells “Allure” magazine she’ll never do nudity onscreen, even if she could ‘get an Oscar‘ for a role requiring it (no worries), adding that only her next husband ‘deserves to see’ what’s under her clothes (oh god, please quit talking) . . . In case you wonder how a low-talent gal like Paris Hilton manages to live the high life, she’s just completed ad shoots for the Israeli Lottery and a Brazilian beer company, which afforded her a free trip to Rio for this week’s “Carnaval” (more reason to hate on her) . . . Reality TV star Kim Kardashian has launched her new fragrance at Sephora in NYC – it’s called ‘Kim Kardashian’ (she thought that up all by herself) . . . And production on the 8th season of “24” (FOX) is expected to resume next week after a temporary shutdown while star Kiefer Sutherland undergoes an unspecified ‘medical procedure’ (having the bottle surgically removed from his right hand?).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Hour” (CBC) – Anne Murray (“All of Me”); Snoop Dogg (“Malice N Wonderland”.)
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Robin Thicke (“Sex Therapy”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Daniel Merriweather (“Love & War”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Kenny Chesney – He’ll exchange songs with classic rocker Steve Miller on an upcoming edition of CMT’s “Crossroads”. The episode will tape in March for airing later this year.
• Kings of Leon – They’ve announced their biggest-ever UK show, scheduled for June 30th at Hyde Park in London. Bass player Jared Followill advises fans to ‘bring sun block and earplugs’.
• Jimi Hendrix – His stepsister, Janie Hendrix, who controls the late rocker’s estate, has let it slip in “Los Angeles Times” that a Hendrix edition of videogame “Rock Band” is coming by year-end.
• Madonna – “Women’s Wear Daily” reports she’s in talks to design and market her own clothing line through Macy’s department stores.
• Michael Jackson – Brooklyn NY may soon have a ‘Michael Jackson Memorial’ subway station if a local councilwoman’s proposal goes through. According to “Village Voice”, the monument would stand at the Hoyt-Schermerhorn station, where Martin Scorcese directed the “Bad” video.
• Neil Young – Tonight “Hal Willner’s Neil Young Project” takes to the stage in Vancouver, part of the “2010 Cultural Olympiad” in conjunction with the Winter Games. The concert tribute to the rock icon features Broken Social Scene, Lou Reed, and many others … but not the man himself.

FUTURE FLICKS:

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Attica” – Director Doug Liman (“Bourne Ultimatum”) &  Oscar-nominated screenwriter Geoffrey Fletcher (“Precious”) will re-create the 1971 Attica State Prison uprising in New York State. The 4-day confrontation between prisoners and guards resulted in 32 inmates and 10 hostages being killed; 39 during an assault by state police. No casting is yet announced.
• “Erector” – There’ve been movies about other toys (“GI Joe”, “Pokemon”, “Rugrats”, “Transformers”, etc) but the Mecanno Set? Yup, a 3-D family adventure based on the Meccano Toy Company’s ‘Erector Set’ brand of construction kits is in development … though the nuts and bolts are still coming together. The deal marks Meccano’s first licensing of its long-running toy brand (1913) for a film adaptation. It’s hoped the franchise can be expanded to other platforms like TV shows and videogames (?!?!?). So far, there’s not even a film script.
• “The Fields” – Jeffrey Dean Morgan (“Watchmen”) stars opposite Sam Worthington (“Avatar”) in this murder mystery about a transplanted NYC detective and a local Texas investigator probing a series of unsolved murders in industrial wastelands surrounding Gulf Coast refineries, where some 70 bodies have turned up over 2 decades. Production begins in Louisiana in April.
• “Son Of No One” – Channing Tatum stars as a young NYPD cop who is assigned to a precinct in the working class neighborhood where he grew up, home to an old secret that threatens to destroy his life & family. Al Pacino co-stars, in a role vacated by Robert De Niro. Terrence Howard, Ray Liotta, and Katie Holmes are also in negotiations to join the cast. Shooting begins in March.
• “Taxi Driver 2” – Director Martin Scorsese & actor Robert De Niro are planning a sequel to their classic 1976 film, according to industry gossip at the “Berlin International Film Festival”. The sequel would see De Niro reprise his role as troubled NYC cabbie ‘Travis Bickle’ as an older man. So far, there’s been no official announcement. De Niro’s improvised dialogue from the film, “You talkin’ to me?”, has become one of the all-time iconic movie lines.

IN CASE YOU RUN LIKE A GIRL:

A new brand of running shoe, dubbed the ‘Period Plimsoll’, has been developed to accommodate a woman’s hormonal balance. The ‘ASICS Kayano 16′ trainer, thought to be the world’s first gender-specific running shoe, allows for the changing shape of a woman’s arch. The Japanese-based company says the shoe can ‘enhance gait efficiency’ and prevent damage to the Achilles heel during a woman’s period. The hormone estrogen is  a soft-tissue relaxant, and is understood to lower a woman’s arch height. (And raise her mood swings.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• Animal managers at China’s Chengdu Panda Breeding Research Centre are advertising for a tutor to teach Chinese … to an American-born giant panda who’s been returned to her traditional homeland. 3-year-old Mei Lan only understands English.
– Associated Press
• A 37-year-old former registrar at Britain’s University of Surrey and University of Bath is facing fraud charges for offering bogus university degrees in return for … spanking sessions in a hotel.
– “Times of London”
• A Camden NJ cop has witnessed firsthand America’s tough homeland security. His disabled son wasn’t allowed to pass through an airport checkpoint unless his leg braces were first removed. The kid’s 4-years-old … an unlikely terrorist.
– Philly.com
• Switzerland is holding a referendum in March on whether domesticated animals have the right to … a lawyer. The Swiss constitution has already been altered to protect the ‘dignity’ of plant life and to establish rights for ‘social creatures’ such as canaries, gerbils, and goldfish.
– “Social Studies”

FUDGING THE NUMBERS:

Your airline seat may not have much padding but the airline’s schedule sure does. For instance, Delta Air Lines Flight 715 from NYC to LA now takes more than 7 hours, according to the airline’s March schedule. That’s an hour longer than the same flight in the same type of aircraft took in 1996. Across the airline industry, carriers have been adding minutes to scheduled flight times, pre-planting delays into the trips so that late flights officially arrive ‘on-time’. It’s hoped that lengthening scheduled times will enhance public perception of airline efficiency. (ETA: Sunday.)
– “Wall Street Journal”

ONLINE TRENDS:

Highlights of a new Nielsen poll of 27,000 consumers in 52 countries about online news and entertainment …
• 85% continue to prefer that content remain free.
• 79% say they would avoid a website that charges for use.
• 78% think you should get free online access if you already subscribe to a newspaper, magazine, TV service, etc.
• 64% believe that, if we must pay for content, there should be no ads.
• 62% say if we pay for content, we should be able to share it with whomever we want.
• 47% of respondents are willing to accept more advertising to subsidize free content.
• 43% say an easy payment method would make them more likely to pay for online content.
– “Hollywood Reporter”

‘BABY BRAIN’ A MYTH?

Memory lapses during pregnancy, often referred to as ‘Baby Brain’, may be more a problem of distraction than memory, according to a new study of over 1,200 women. Australian researchers have discovered that absentmindedness can often derive simply from a shift in attention to the baby. Part of the problem, researchers say, is that pregnancy manuals tell women they are likely to experience memory and concentration problems, something that may be more folklore than fact. (What’s the excuse for expectant fathers … ‘Beer Brain’?)
– BBC.co.uk

DID YOU KNOW?

• The human is not just ‘the only animal that blushes’, as Mark Twain once said, but also the only animal that will wait in line. Among the animal kingdom, only humans will stand there meekly with a bunch of total strangers and wait their turn.
– “Boston Globe”
• Lobsters have no vocal chords or pain receptors. Accordingly, when they are dropped live into a pot of boiling water the ‘scream’ you hear is just air escaping from their shells. Unfortunately, this has not deterred some governments from banning the cooking of lobsters in this way, an astonishing act of nanny-statism.
– Listverse.com

BS CHRONOMETER 02.18.10


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1933 [77] Yoko Ono, Tokyo, Japan, bad artist/bad singer/John Lennon’s really really rich widow

1954 [56] John Travolta, Englewood NJ, movie actor (“The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3”, “Pulp Fiction”)

1957 [53] Vanna White (Rosich), North Myrtle Beach SC, TV mannequin (“Wheel of Fortune”)  who’s been a ‘letter turner’ since 1982

1964 [46] Matt Dillon, New Rochelle NY, movie actor (“Crash”, “There’s Something About Mary”)

1965 [45] Dr Dre (Andre Young), Compton CA, rapper/hip hop recording mogul/producer (Snoop Dogg, Eminem)/sometime movie actor (“Training Day”, “Set It Off”)

1970 [40] Raine Maida, Toronto ON, alt-rock singer/songwriter (Our Lady Peace-“Somewhere Out There”, “Clumsy”)/married to singer Chantal Kreviazuk since 1999

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Battery Day”, observed on the birth date of Count Alessandro Volta (1745-1827), the Italian physicist credited with the development of the first electric cell in 1800. It’s an opportunity to celebrate his vital invention that is used everywhere, from smoke alarms to automobiles. They come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and power capacity, to fit a wide array of needs … but are rarely included with any consumer product needing them.

• “Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day”, a day of encouragement for females brought on by the fact that women are severely under-represented in the engineering profession. Research shows that females lose interest in the fields of study leading to engineering careers long before they enter college.
NET: http://www.eweek.org/EngineersWeek/Introduce.aspx

• “Open a Can of Beans Day”, in celebration of “Canned Food Month”, when we’re encouraged to chow down on beans during at least one meal. (Tomorrow is ‘Evacuate the Studio Day!’)

• “Thumb Appreciation Day”, a day devoted to the digit that helps make us human … the opposable thumb. Of course that means a few other animals can celebrate as well, including koalas, opossums, and pandas; as well as chimps, gorillas, and orangutans, which have opposable thumbs … on all 4 limbs. (Oh wow, we’ve got thumb envy!)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

1999 [11] George Clooney makes his final appearance as ‘Dr Doug Ross’ on “ER”, then moves on to making movies full-time (he’s made 25 since)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .

1998 [12] “Titanic” movie soundtrack is certified 6-times Platinum for sales of 6 million copies

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1930 [80] 1st ‘flying cow’ as a bovine named ‘Ollie’ takes an airplane ride as a publicity stunt for a Wisconsin dairy farm (celebrated as “Hey Diddle Diddle Day”)

1930 [80] 9th planet ‘Pluto’ discovered by Flagstaff AZ astronomer Clyde Tombaugh (demoted to ‘dwarf planet’ status in 2006)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1979 [31] Snow falls in the Sahara Desert

AND REMEMBER . . .

[Fri] Chocolate Mint Day
[Sat] Love Your Pet Day
[Sat] World Day for Social Justice
[Sat] Clam Chowder Day
[Sun] BAFTA Awards (London)
This Week Is … Brotherhood-Sisterhood Week
This Month Is … Spunky Old Broads Month

BULL’S BITS


ALL-PURPOSE BS EXCUSES:
You know, I’d love to but …
• The guy on TV told me to say tuned.
• I’m teaching my ferret to yodel.
• I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
• I changed the lock on my door and now I can’t get out.
• I’m sandblasting my oven.
• My patent is pending.
• I never go out on days that end in ‘Y’.
• I’m trying to be less popular.
• I have to study for a urine test.
• I’m trying to see how long I can go without saying ‘yes’.
– Edited from saviodsilva.net

BS RANDOM JOKE:
You don’t stand alone … I also stand alone!

BS ‘BEAT THE TOASTER’:
Your contestant gets 10 seconds to give as many answers as possible in each category. Time’s up when the toaster SFX go off.
• Affectionate names you might call your partner.
• Brands of breakfast cereals.
• Environmentally-responsible car models.
• Events at the Winter Olympics.
• Most romantic places to ‘fool around’.

BS PHONE STARTER:

All that ‘expert analysis’ provided by retired athletes during TV coverage of the Winter Olympics – an enhancement or an annoyance?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Injuries caused by THIS seemingly innocuous marketing tool send thousands to emergency rooms every year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Plastic packaging, particularly ‘blister packs’.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Don’t waste the whole day, laugh at least once.


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