Monday, February 22, 2010       Edition: #4203
Get a Load of This Sheet!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• “The Hurt Locker” & “Up In the Air” were the big winners at the “Writers Guild of America Awards” on Saturday. “The Hurt Locker” picking up ‘Best Original Screenplay’; “Up In the Air” honored for ‘Best Adapted Screenplay’ for the reworking of Walter Kirn’s novel. In the TV category, “Mad Men” wins ‘Best Drama Series’; “30 Rock” lands ‘Best Comedy Series’.
– HollywoodNews.com
• Embattled 76-year-old filmmaker Roman Polanski has been awarded ‘Best Director’ at the “Berlin Film Festival” for his latest movie “The Ghost Writer”. The film’s producer Alain Sarde picked up the ‘Silver Bear’ prize on Polanski’s behalf, as he’s currently under house arrest at his Swiss chalet. He was arrested last September as he arrived in Switzerland to receive an award for lifetime achievement at the “Zurich Film Festival”. (Next award: ‘Best Incarcerated Director’.)
– People.com
• Paris Hilton’s 29th birthday party was thrown into chaos after she & boyfriend Doug Reinhardt got into an argument in the middle of NYC hot spot Tea Room. Then, as a furious Hilton stalked off, Reinhardt got into another screaming match with oil heir Brandon Davis. Reinhardt is said to have been angered when Hilton’s former boyfriend arrived unexpectedly and seemingly drunk. All was reportedly resolved after he was thrown out the door. (Remember these shallow folks next time you feel your life lacks meaning.)
– NYPost.com
• Ex-“American Idol” Fantasia Barrino has asked for increased security after coming across a racist, threatening letter while going through her fan mail. Her manager says Fantasia found the hate mail in her dressing room following her performance in “The Color Purple” at LA’s Pantages Theater. (It’s unclear if her manager will be sending any further mail in order to get Fantasia’s long-forgotten name in the news.)
– TMZ.com
• Outrageous funnyman Sacha Baron Cohen (“Bruno”, “Borat”, “Ali G”) was first-time Oscars producers Bill Mechanic & Adam Shankman’s first choice to host the 82nd “Academy Awards” March 7th. But the producing duo finally decided to go with actors Steve Martin & Alec Baldwin as co-hosts because the Academy swatted down the Cohen concept as ‘too big of a wild card’. (Like the Grammys, the Oscars are old school … no unseemly surprises tolerated.)
– ContactMusic.com
• And purported faith healer & televangelist Benny Hinn’s wife is seeking a divorce. Suzanne Hinn has hired top divorce attorney Sorrell Trope to represent her and has filed divorce papers in Orange County, California. The couple wed in 1979 and have 4 children. Hinn is one of the world’s most financially successful faith healers, owning his own television studio and flying around the world in a Gulfstream jet to lead his so-called ‘Miracle Crusades’. His ‘ministry’ generates some $90 million a year. (Suzanne may top Heather Mills’ $50-million grab from Paul McCartney!)
– LATimes.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “The Hour” (CBC) – Michael Bublé (“Crazy Love).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Mayer Hawthorne (“A Strange Arrangement”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Ben Harper & Relentless7 (“White Lies For Dark Times”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Pitbull (“Rebelution”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – She’s been named ‘Most Successful Musician’ of the 2000s first decade by the RIAA, based on 64 gold & platinum certifications for album sales & videos, and a further 19 certifications for ringtones.
• Devo – Tonight the 1970s-80s ‘new wave’ band (“Whip It”) performs live at the Winter Olympics medal ceremony in Whistler BC. (Get out your flower pot hats!)
• Ke$ha – She’s stunned bystanders at NYC nightclub Providence by indulging in a steamy make-out session with openly gay singer Adam Lambert. (In full makeup, they kind of look like siblings.)
• Lady Antebellum – “Need You Now” tops “Billboard” magazine’s album chart for the 3rd consecutive week.
• Lady Gaga – She’s reportedly stormed off a topless photoshoot for “Q Magazine” at London’s May Fair Hotel, telling staff she hates the provocative shots. She may have been more stressed by a series of setbacks for her “Monster Ball” tour in Britain, including missing costumes and technical mishaps.
• Lil Wayne – TMZ reports he’s just had one of the gnarliest oral surgeries in the history of dentistry, a marathon session that included a stomach-turning 8 root canals at one time!
• Sting – He’s defended his decision to perform a private concert for Uzbekistan’s President Islam Karimov because, he says, calling off the show would have been a ‘pointless gesture’. The UN has accused the Karimov regime of ‘systematic torture’. Sting is rumored to have been paid $3.2 million for the gig. (After that 2007-08 Police tour, he wasn’t exactly hurting for cash.)
• Taylor Swift – Online bidding on a guitar she’s donated to benefit the Country Music Hall of Fame & Museum has topped $8,000. The 13-day auction concludes this Friday.
• Them Crooked Vultures – Bassist John Paul Jones reveals the first choice for the supergroup’s name was ‘Caligula’ but an online search turned up at least 7 other acts using it. ‘Them Crooked Vultures’ was selected not for any special meaning, but mainly because … it seemed every other name was taken.

OUR DISAPPEARING DIRT:

Fertile soil is being lost faster than it can be replenished which will eventually lead to the Earth’s ‘topsoil bank’ becoming empty, according to a new study at Australia’s University of Sydney. It’s estimated 75 billion tonnes of soil is lost annually as more than 80% of the world’s farmland is ‘moderately or severely eroded’. Worst hit is China, where soil is being lost 57 times faster than it can be replaced through natural processes. Bottom line: the world’s top soil could vanish within about 60 years if drastic action isn’t taken. (Get the handcart ready, we’re going to hell … again.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

NEW NEW ZHU ZHU:
Zhu Zhu Pets, the toy hamster phenomenon which flew off shelves last Christmas and won ‘Toy Of the Year’ at the recent “NYC Toy Fair”, will get a facelift this Summer and come back as ‘Kung Zhu’ battle hamsters in an attempt to woo young boys. Toymaker Cepia has unveiled ‘Ninja Warriors’ and military-themed ‘Special Forces’ lines, with optional accessories like a combat bridge, missile tower, and armored tanks. Cepia is also adding a ‘Rock Star’ line featuring long-haired hamsters, and a line of bunnies, raccoons, skunks & hedgehogs called the ‘Zhu Zhu Wild Bunch’. (What they really need to add … a ‘mute’ button.)
– “China Daily”

THOSE TEENAGE DRIVERS:

When it comes to teen drivers, the gap between the genders is becoming less noticeable. In what seems a role reversal, teen girls are expressing a new need for speed, while aggressive driving and speeding by young males is down. According to an insurance company study, 27% of girls admit to speeding at least 10 mph (16 km/hr) over the speed limit compared with 19% of boys. And 16% of girls admit they are ‘very aggressive’ while driving, as opposed to 13% of teen boys. The report also notes that girls are more likely to text, call, and change music while driving than boys. (Bottom line: That insurance premium relief you were getting for having a daughter instead of a son is about to disappear.)
– “Chicago Tribune”

YOUR 15 MINUTES ARE UP:

Their fame should be over, finito, finished, kaput, but apparently these celebs didn’t get the memo. A few mildly famous folks that have hijacked the spotlight and refuse to let go …
• Overwrought former reality TV tart Tila Tequila.
• Shamed ex-Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich.
• All of Tiger Woods’ alleged mistresses.
• Anyone and everyone involved in the Jon & Kate Gosselin saga.
(Who else do you think should vacate the limelight?)
– Condensed from StarPulse.com

DRINK BEER FOR YOUR BONES:

Researchers at the University of California’s Department of Food Science & Technology have found that beer is a rich source of silicon and may help prevent osteoporosis, as dietary silicon is a key ingredient for increasing bone mineral density. It’s been determined that pale ales have the highest silicon content while non-alcoholic beers, light lagers, and wheat beers have the least. The difference seems to be in the barley content. Beers containing high levels of malted barley and hops are richest in silicon, the researchers say. (Here’s to your health!)
– “Discover Magazine”

MOST ANNOYING SONGS EVER:

A new ranking of the all-time most terrible tunes as ranked in an online poll …
5. “Achy Breaky Heart”, Billy Ray Cyrus.
4. “La Macarena”, Los Del Rio.
3. “Photograph”, Nickelback.
2. “My Humps”, Black Eyed Peas.
1. “Who Let the Dogs Out”, Baha Men.
Dishonorable mention: “My Heart Will Go On”, Celine Dion; “Barbie Girl”, Aqua; “Mmm Bop”, Hanson.
– Gunaxin.com

TOO MUCH INFORMATION?

These days we’re bombarded by online content, texts, IMs and tweets, not to mention more traditional electronic media like radio and TV. But interestingly, worries about the so-called ‘Information Overload’ are as old as information itself, stretching back to the birth of literacy. In parallel with modern concerns about children’s overuse of technology, classical Greek philosopher Socrates famously once warned against a method of communication he claimed would ‘create forgetfulness in the learners’ souls because they will not use their memories’. What was he warning about? Writing. (Yeah, and cro-Magnons also worried all those cave paintings could blow out your cortex.)
– Slate.com

DID YOU KNOW?

• The national fish of Hawaii is the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a. (Pronounced humu-humu-nooku-nooku-ap-u-wah-ah).
– PopBitch.com
• ‘Barbie’ doll has had 125 careers since 1959. (Seems somebody can’t keep a job!)
– BBC News Magazine

BS CHRONOMETER 02.22.10


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [66] Jonathan Demme, Baldwin NY, movie director (“Rachel Getting Married”, Oscar-“The Silence Of the Lambs”)/documentary maker (“Neil Young: Heart of Gold”, “Bruce Springsteen: The Complete Video Anthology 1978-2000”)

1959 [51] Kyle MacLachlan, Yakima WA, TV actor (‘Orson Hodge’ on “Desperate Housewives” since 2006, “Sex & the City” 2000-02)

1968 [42] Jeri Ryan (Zimmerman), Munich, Germany, TV actress (“Leverage” since 2009, “Shark” 2006-08, “Boston Public” 2001-04, “Star Trek: Voyager” 1997-2001)

1974 [36] James Blunt, Tidworth UK, pop singer (“You’re Beautiful”)/one-hit-wonder?

1975 [35] Drew Barrymore, Culver City CA, movie actress (“Grey Gardens”, “50 First Dates”)/film director-producer (“Whip It”)

1979 [31] Tom Higgenson, Villa Park IL, pop singer (Plain White T’s-“1,2,3,4”, “Hey There Delilah”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “Be Humble Day”. Just for one day try not to brag or to boast; and try not to talk about your success or accomplishments. Why? Because humility is a good thing.

• “Single Tasking Day”, a day to focus on one project at a time. Studies show you’ll likely end up accomplishing more.

• “World Thinking Day”, an annual celebration of Boy Scouts/Girl Guides founders Lord & Lady Baden-Powell’s joint birthday. Scouts & Guides are encouraged to ‘think’ of good deeds. Many will wear their uniforms to school today (if you remind them).

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

1949 [61] The debut of ‘Modern Professional Wrestling’ as Gorgeous George beats Ernie Dusek at NYC’s Madison Square Garden using fake moves and lots of other razzamatazz

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .

1989 [21] “Grammy Awards” reach a whole new low by citing Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry Be Happy” as both ‘Best Record’ & ‘Best Song’; lip-sync scammers Milli Vanilli as ‘Best New Artist’; and Jethro Tull as the 1st-ever winner of the ‘Heavy Metal Award’

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1959 [51] 1st ‘Daytona 500′ auto race (won by Lee Petty, father of legendary racer Richard Petty)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Curling is Cool Day
[Wed] Inconvenience Yourself Day
[Thurs] Chili Day
[Thurs] Ta’Anit Ester (Jewish)
[Fri] Muhammad’s Birthday (Muslim)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Build a Better Trade Show Image Week / Eating Disorders Awareness Week / Read Me Week / Telecommuter Appreciation Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 16 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BABY BOOMERS – THEN AND NOW …
• Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint. Now: Getting a new hip joint.
• Then: Peace sign. Now: Mercedes logo.
• Then: Killer weed. Now: Weed killer.
• Then: Hoping for a BMW. Now: Hoping for a B.M.
• Then: Long hair. Now: Longing for hair.
• Then: The perfect high. Now: The perfect high-yield fund.
• Then: Seeds and stems. Now: Roughage.
• Then: Popping pills, smoking joints. Now: Popping joints.
• Then: Trying to look like Elizabeth Taylor or Marlon Brando. Now: Trying NOT to look like Elizabeth Taylor and especially not Marlon Brando.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE YOUR KID CAN TEACH YOU:
• You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
• No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
• When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
• If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
• You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
• Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
• Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic Tac.
• The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma’s lap.

BS RANDOM JOKE:

Infinity: One lawyer waiting for another.

BS PHONE STARTER:
65 parts of your body are considered safe for piercing including eyebrows, chin, tongue, lips, nostrils, and belly button. What’s the strangest part you’ve seen pierced?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: You’ll be perceived as being more important if you do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Walk fast.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

All things are difficult before they are easy.


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