Wednesday, February 24, 2010        Edition: #4205
Another Sheetload of Bull!

Newly engaged 22-year-old actress/singer Hilary Duff has yet to begin planning her wedding with 29-year-old NHL player-fiancé Mike Comrie (Edmonton Oilers) because she was taken by surprise when he proposed in Hawaii earlier this month (why not do the deed at center ice?) . . . The John Belushi/Dan Aykroyd movie “The Blues Brothers” (1980) is being developed as a new TV show to star Kieron Lafferty & Wayne Catania as ‘Jake & Elwood Blues’ (sometimes you can just smell a dud) . . . US First Lady Michelle Obama has invited the cast of “Glee” (FOX) to perform at the annual White House “Easter Egg Roll” April 5th and, barring last-minute glitches, they’re gonna do it! . . . Filmmaker James Cameron’s all-time box office blockbuster “Avatar” has now set another record, passing the $200-million benchmark on IMAX screens worldwide . . . 78-year-old Hollywood vet William Shatner has signed on for a TV comedy adapted from the online blog/Twitter sensation “S**t My Dad Says” for CBS, playing a character based on creator Justin Halpern’s larger-than-life foul-mouthed father (NET: . . . A snitch tells “NY Post” all those happy Brangelina family photo ops in Venice are being staged ‘like a military operation’ to refute reports that Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie are splitting up (a helluva a lot of effort just to quash a rumor, no?) . . . Actor Charlie Sheen’s wife Brooke Mueller is set to sue The Canyon rehab center in Malibu CA for leaking info about her admission, thereby ‘violating her privacy’ (she’s since moved on to a ‘quieter location’) . . . And newly-confirmed couple Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart (world’s worst-kept secret) are being lauded for their pale appearance, dermatologists contending that the “Twilight”-induced popularity of pale skin could help lower skin cancer rates worldwide (yep, nothing says ‘healthy’ like anemic, pasty white skin).

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The top 12 male semi-finalists perform.
• “The Hour” (CBC) – Norah Jones (“The Fall”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Ne-Yo (“In My Own Words”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Ludacris (“Battle of the Sexes”).


• Aerosmith – In addition to their previously announced appearance at Britain’s “Download Festival” in June, it’s now been confirmed they’ll play the “Sweden Rock Festival” June 10th as well as other European dates to be announced shortly.
• Carrie Underwood – She’s signed on to do PSAs for the Pedigree Foundation, a nonprofit organization started by Pedigree pet foods that’s dedicated to helping dogs find homes.
• Josh Turner – “Why Don’t We Just Dance is the first 3-week #1 single of his career.
• Lil Wayne – He’s denying he’s struggling to offload one of his Miami FL apartments because it wreaks of marijuana, contending the weedy aroma is instead a ‘unique selling point’.
• Michael Jackson – This week “Captain EO” has returned to Disneyland, the park now showing a 70mm print of the 17-minute movie Jackson unveiled in 1986. The original version, enhanced with lasers and smoke, ran for 11 years in Disney amusement parks. The new version, which will run indefinitely, features enhanced sound but fewer special effects.
• Snoop Dogg – Today he returns to daytime drama “One Life To Live”, performing his single “I Wanna Rock”. He first appeared on the show in 2008, claiming he’s been a fan since he was a baby because his ‘momma’ always had it on.
• The Specials – Tonight the British ska band, whose career has spanned 30-plus years, receives the ‘Outstanding Contribution’ career achievement award at the 2010 “NME Awards” at London’s O2 Academy Brixton.
• Stone Temple Pilots – Scott Weiland tells “Spinner” they’ve just finished recording their first album since 2001 and they’ll be playing the Austin TX “South-By-Southwest Festival” in March.
• The Who – Roger Daltrey could soon be your least favourite thing about Led Zeppelin. He reportedly wants to team up with Jimmy Page. The rumor surfaces just as Pete Townshend is expressing doubts about continuing his rock career due to hearing problems.


• Lugano, Switzerland – Local ‘working girls’ say electric shock devices to restart john’s hearts are needed because … so many geezers are using their services. The most recent victim was a pensioner thought to be having fun with the help of anti-impotence medication. Local health officials are said to be backing the plan to stock defibrillators in clubs and brothels. One club owner backing the move says that having customers die just isn’t good publicity.
• Braunlage, Germany – More than 14,000 spectators have flocked to this town near the border with the Czech Republic to watch … a topless tobogganing tournament. Some 30 competitors, both male and female, braved the elements to race along a 100-meter course. A 70-year-old man got the biggest round of applause for stripping down to his long-johns.
• Charlottetown PEI – A passenger aboard a Jazz Air flight has been escorted off the plane by flight attendants for having what other passengers describe as … ‘brutal body odor’. A Jazz spokeswoman says airline staff handled the situation correctly, following the guideline that the safety and comfort of passengers is the prime concern. The identity of the passenger has not been released.
• Townsville, Australia – Duffers in North Queensland are being warned to keep an eye out for crocodiles following a recent golf course sighting. Animal authorities report that a 5-foot freshwater croc has been spotted walking across a golf green. Course manager Adrian Lawson says there should be no worries, “This is North Queensland we’re talking about here, where the men are tough and the crocodiles are scared.”

WHEN I’M 74:

According to a new study that involved interviews with 21,000 adults, the age at which we achieve the greatest contentment is … 74. Why? Reduced responsibilities, fewer financial worries, and more personal time. It’s also thought that older people may just be more appreciative. Researchers say happiness declines from the teenage years until age 40. That’s likely because building a career, buying a house, and raising a family can add stress to the 20s and 30s. The rate of contentment levels off at age 46, then starts to increase until peaking at 74.
– “Daily Telegraph”


The American Academy of Pediatrics is pushing for a redesign of common foods, along with new warning labels on packaging, to help curb the sometimes fatal problem of child choking. The group says any food with a cylindrical or round shape poses a risk. Hot dogs are high on the list, causing 17% of food-related asphyxiations in children under 10. Other danger foods include grapes and hard candies. The AAP suggests making foods flat rather than round would increase safety, and notes that there are already laws and regulations that help prevent choking on toys, but no similar regulations for food. (Isn’t this another case where common sense is needed, not regulation? Cut grapes in half; slice hot dogs into bite-size pieces; be a parent!)
– “HealthDay News”


This week a new website called ‘Meedan’ has been officially launched, which allows users to post stories and comments in English and have them automatically translated into Arabic – or vice versa. It’s hoped the seemingly simple idea of eliminating the language barrier will cultivate citizen diplomacy between the Middle East and the West by reducing tension at the grassroots level. It’s now possible for East & West to have an online discussion in near real time. The website name, appropriately, means ‘gathering place’ or ‘town hall’ in Arabic.

• This week Khagendra Thapa Magar of Nepal is traveling in Europe on a campaign to have the “Guinness Book of World Records” recognize him as ‘World’s Shortest Man’. He applied for certification in October, shortly after turning 18, but has not received any response. Magar measures just 22 inches (56 cm), 7 inches shorter than the current record-holder, He Pingping of China. Doctors have not yet determined why Magar is so small.
• “Guinness World Records” has just declared a Great Dane named George the ‘Tallest Living Dog’ and the ‘Tallest Dog Ever’. The 245-lb, 4-year-old pooch measures 43 inches from paw to shoulder, and 7 ft, 3 ins from head to tail. Owner David Nasser of Tucson AZ, says the big guy still thinks he’s a ‘lap dog’.
– Associated Press
• Guinness is currently searching for pet owners who think they might have record-breaking animals in the following categories: ‘Dog With Longest Ears’, ‘Smallest Dog’ (length), ‘Oldest Dog’, ‘Smallest Cat’ and ‘Oldest Cat’. You can submit a proposal via the official website …
– “USA Today“


• The number of people 50-plus reporting marijuana use in the past year has increased from 1.9% to 2.9% over 6 years, according to stats from Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services. The increase is most dramatic among 55-to-59 year-olds, whose reported cannabis use has more than tripled from 1.6% to 5.1%. (Hot new business venture – ‘Boomer Bongs’.)
• 2009’s accident rate for Western-built jet aircraft is the 2nd-lowest in modern aviation history (just behind 2006), according to a new report by the International Air Transport Association. The IATA notes that aviation remains the safest form of transportation, with the global accident rate dipping to 1-in-1.4 million flights. To put that another way, if you were to take a flight every day, you could go 3,859 years without an accident. (And rack up 7 bazillion frequent flyer miles.)


1958 [52] Sammy Kershaw, Kaplan LA, country singer (“She Don’t Know She’s Beautiful”, “Cadillac Style”)

1966 [44] Billy Zane, Chicago IL, TV actor (‘Cliff Huddle’ on “The Deep End” 2010)/movie actor  (“Zoolander”, “Titanic”)

1955 [55] Steve Jobs, San Francisco CA, Apple Computer CEO & co-founder with Steve Wozniak in 1977 (iPad, iPhone, iPod, iMac)/Pixar Animation founder (“Up”, “Wall-E”)

1983 [27] Matt McGinley, Geneva NY, rock drummer (Gym Class Heroes-“Cupid’s Chokehold”)

• “Flag Day” in Mexico (“El Dia de la Bandera”), celebrating ‘La Bandera Mexicana’ created in 1821 when the country gained independence.

• “Inconvenience Yourself Day”, observed annually on the 4th Wednesday of February as a day to focus on how our actions affect others. The idea is to promote common courtesy, good manners, acts of kindness, and doing the right thing.

• “Tortilla Chip Day”. Well, that certainly makes planning tonight’s dinner a lot easier, doesn’t it?


1988 [22] Campaigning as a member of the ‘Wild Party’, rocker Alice Cooper announces he’ll run for Governor of Arizona

1998 [12] (Sir) Elton John is knighted by Queen Elizabeth II


1914 [96] Clarence Crane invents “Life Savers”, which he describes as ‘a hole encased in candy’

2008 [02] Ailing 82-year-old Fidel Castro retires as President of Cuba after nearly 50 years and turns the reins of power over to his brother Raul (a sprightly 77-year-old)

1999 [11] Lauryn Hill sets Grammy Awards record for female artists with 5 trophies (then where’d she go?)


[Thurs] Chili Day
[Thurs] Ta’Anit Ester (Jewish)
[Fri] “Cop Out”; “The Crazies” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Muhammad’s Birthday (Muslim)
[Fri] For Pete’s Sake Day
[Fri] Personal Chefs Day
[Sat] Open That Bottle Night
This Week Is … International Friendship Week
This Month Is … Canned Food Month


• “Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings … they did it by killing everyone who opposed them.”
• “Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.”
• “Plagiarism Saves Time.”
• “When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.”
• “Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.”
• “TEAMWORK … means never having to take all the blame.”
• “Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.”
• “Hang in there, retirement is only 30 years away!”

The world is divided up into two groups of people … those who think the world is divided up into two groups of people and those who do not.


• Whyzit the only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom?
• Whyzit people who work in health food stores always look so unhealthy?
• Whyzit everything goes on sale … right after you buy it?
• Whyzit the weather can be ‘HOT as hell’ one day but ‘COLD as hell’ another?
• Whyzit an orange is called an ‘orange’ but a lime isn’t called a ‘green’ or a lemon called a ‘yellow’?


What do you think is the world’s best job? And the worst?


Q: What country, which once hosted the Winter Olympics, will never be allowed that opportunity again?
A: Sarajevo, Yugoslavia successfully hosted the 1984 games but the country can never do so again because … it ceased to exist in 1992.

Q: Only 4 countries start with the letter ‘D’. Denmark, Djibouti and Dominica are 3 of them. What’s the other?
A: Dominican Republic.

Q: What do you call those little dots on dominoes … paps, pips, or pops?
A: Their official name is ‘pips’.


Today’s Question: If you are a married guy you will hold on to THIS for about 8 years; if single, only about 1 year
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Underwear.


Whatever advice you give, be brief.

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