Thursday, February 14, 2008        Edition: #3711
Happy Valentines Day, For Sheet’s Sake!

Card company American Greetings has gone ahead with a series Valentines Day cards aimed at teen girls that feature 16-year-old “Zoey 101” actress Jamie Lynn Spears (unfortunately for lampooners, the photos were shot pre-pregnancy) . . . “Consumer Reports” magazine has issued a slapdown on Miley Cyrus & her dad Billy Ray Cyrus for driving around in a Range Rover in the “Hannah Montana” concert film without their seatbelts fastened (they should also be cited for singing) . . . Movie mogul Steven Spielberg has pulled out of his role as ‘Artistic Adviser’ for the opening ceremonies of the Summer Olympics in Beijing, in protest over the Chinese government’s policy on Darfur (translated: I just found out there’s no money in this) . . .  “24“ co-creator/exec producer Joel Surnow is leaving the show to ‘pursue new projects’ (translated: I ran out of ideas on how to drag this out after the pilot episode 7 years ago) . . . Changes have been made to current stage productions of the musicals “Monty Python’s Spamalot” and “We Will Rock You”, deleting lyrics poking fun at Britney Spears (no one wants to appear ghoulish) . . . Toronto money-man John Bitove (KFC Canada) is pitching a nationwide high-def TV channel to the CRTC, to be known as HDTV Network and proposed to be up by NEXT YEAR (projections suggest half of Canadians will own hi-def TVs within 3 years) . . . OJ  Simpson’s ex-sports agent, Mike Gilbert, is set to release a book called “How I Helped OJ Get Away With Murder”, which he claims will offer new evidence to the Juice’s guilt (we’re guessing financial need has helped him finally remember details after 14 years) . . . And movie actress Natalie Portman says she’s sick of being sent scripts in which she’d play either a stripper or a hooker because what she really wants is a role in a good romantic comedy (how about “Pretty Woman 2” … oh, sorry).

• Cher – 2-and-a-half years after the final show of her “Farewell” concert tour, the 61-year-old has signed a 3-year, 200-show deal to appear at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. “Cher at the Colosseum” debuts MAY 6th.
• Christina Aguilera – The 27-year-old new mom is denying rumors she’s set to bare all in a post-pregnancy spread for “Playboy” magazine. Word has it she simply said no.
• The Clash – THIS MARCH, PBS stations will premiere “The Clash Live: Revolution Rock”, a new documentary chronicling performances by the iconic punk pioneers at the peak of their popularity in the early ‘80s.
• Good Charlotte – Australian model Sophie Monk has confirmed reports she & Benji Madden have split, calling off their engagement TUESDAY.
• Juvenile – The “Slow Motion” rapper has been arrested in Meridian MS for possession of under an ounce of marijuana. He was in a car pulled over for expired license tags.
• Paul McCartney – The father of his soon-to-be ex-, Heather Mills, says she’s likely to leave the UK once her divorce from her billionaire hubby is finalized. Please, bring your millions here!
• The Police – They’ll take one more victory lap through North America on their massively successful reunion tour THIS SUMMER before calling it quits for good. They’ve let it be known they have no intention of recording any new material. They’re just in it for the money, folks.
• Shakira – An eBay auction of her memorabilia has netted over $76,000 so far to benefit her Bare Feet Foundation which aids needy kids in her native Colombia. One well-heeled fan has bid $14,000 for a pair of front-row seats to a future Toronto concert and face-to-face meeting. Another has forked out $3,000 for a Roberto Cavalli-designed bra which once supported her ‘small & humble’ breasts. Just 2 guitars are left before the auction closes SUNDAY.
• Tim McGraw – He’s launched a mobile online site enabling fans to use any cellphone to access news & tour dates, and download photos & videos. Now you can access Tim bits 24/7.

In hopes of generating ‘date night’ biz, these films are opening on Valentines Day …
• Celine Dion – She kicks off her “Taking Chances” world tour at the Coca-Cola Dome in Johannesburg, South Africa, fulfilling a promise she made to former president Nelson Mandela to perform there. Other stops include Japan, China, South Korea, and the UK before returning home to tour North America.
• NAACP Image Awards (FOX) – DL Hughley hosts the 39th honors in Los Angeles as the Denzel Washington movie “The Great Debaters” leads nominations with 8. Special achievement awards will be handed out to singers Stevie Wonder & Aretha Franklin (‘The true Queen’), and actress Ruby Dee.
• “The (RED) Auction” – U2’s Bono & British artist Damien Hirst have initiated what’s billed as the biggest charity art sale ever, at Sotheby’s in NYC. Proceeds go to the UN’s HIV relief program in Africa. The goal is to raise $20 million.

• “Jumper” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): Hayden Christensen stars as a young guy who discovers he can teleport (‘jump’) himself to any location, an ability he decides to use to find the man who killed his mother. Eminem was reportedly considered at one time to star but turned down the role. Co-stars Jamie Bell (“Flags of Our Fathers”) & Rachel Bilson (“The OC”). Based on a popular young adult novel by Steven Gould. Partially shot in Toronto & Peterborough ON.
• “The Spiderwick Chronicles” ( PG Fantasy Adventure ): British actor Freddie Highmore (who turns 16 TODAY) plays twins, who along with their family move into an old house inherited from great uncle ‘Arthur Spiderwick’. There they discover a book that holds the secret to several strange creatures who lurk in the shadows. Co-stars Irish actress Sarah Bolger, David Strathairn & Nick Nolte. Based on the bestselling series of books. Filmed entirely in Montréal.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Drag Me to Hell“ – Oscar-nominated “Juno” actress Ellen Page has signed to star in Sam Raimi’s new horror flick, playing a girl who’s been afflicted with a supernatural curse. It will be the acclaimed director’s first non-“Spider-Man” project in 8 years. The thriller begins shooting in MARCH.
• “Nottingham” – Director Ridley Scott & actor Russell Crowe, who’ve collaborated on 5 other movies, will next work together on a re-telling of the legend of the outlaw ‘Robin Hood’. Word is the production will be from the Sheriff of Nottingham’s point-of-view and is intended to be the “Gladiator” version of “Robin Hood”.
• “Pet” – With his recurring role as ‘Charlie Pace’ on “Lost” coming to an end, actor Dominic Monaghan has landed the lead in this upcoming thriller. He’ll play a loner who kidnaps his high school crush. Filming is set to roll over the next few months and the fright flick will debut in 2009.
• “Shanghai” – Filming of this WW2-era movie is now likely to move to Hong Kong after China’s Film Bureau refused permits to shoot it in its namesake city. John Cusack & Gong Li star in the story of an American expat who returns to Shanghai in the months before Pearl Harbor due to the death of his friend. The movie is scheduled to hit screens in 2009.
• “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” – Woody Allen’s new rom-com stars Javier Bardem (“No Country For Old Men”) as a painter who has a relationship with 2 American tourists. But word has it that it will be co-stars Scarlett Johansson & Penelope Cruz who steam up the screen in a hot ‘n heavy love scene. The film debuts in Spain in SEPTEMBER, and here early NEXT YEAR.

People who live beneath airport flight paths are 40% more likely to develop high blood pressure, according to a new study of more than 5,000 people living in the vicinity of airports. The study finds that the noise from jetliners causes an immediate increase in blood pressure even among sleepers who aren’t awakened. (AND IT ALSO AFFECTS THEIR HEARING … oh, pardon me.)
– “Guardian”

• 80% of Valentines Day cards are purchased by women.
• 64% of women using online dating sites lie about their weight by at least 5 lbs.
• 53% of men using online dating sites lie about their age by at least 1 year.
• 39% of workers have had a workplace romance.
• 3% of pet owners will give Valentines Day gifts to their pets.

A new hi-tech swimsuit by Speedo is claimed to be the world’s fastest … and perhaps most expensive. The $650-suit is made from 3 pieces of lightweight water-repellent fabric, ultrasonically welded together to reduce drag by 6%, while the rigid shape has been modeled on scans of over 400 elite swimmers to support the muscles and compress the body into as streamlined and efficient a shape as possible. (Unfortunately it’ll be pot-bellied, middle-aged European guys who actually wear these.)
– TimesOnline

Law charity Fair Trials International has issued a warning for travelers to Dubai after a British tourist has been sentenced to 4 years in prison because customs officers found a 0.003-gram trace of cannabis … stuck to his shoe. FTI claims other tourists have been jailed for carrying over-the-counter drugs such as codeine and melatonin. In one of the most extreme cases, a Swiss man is serving a 4-year jail term after poppy seeds were found on his clothes – a total of 3 of them – from a bread roll he ate at Heathrow Airport in London.
– “Curious Times”

Here’s a good argument starter: Which cover recordings are the best ever? A new unranked listing of reinterpretations that rival their originals includes …
• “Hurt” by Johnny Cash (via Nine Inch Nails).
• “Wild Horses” by the Sundays (via the Rolling Stones).
• “Wonderwall” by Ryan Adams (via Oasis).
• “It’s My Life” by No Doubt (via Talk Talk).
• “Jolene” by the White Stripes (via Dolly Parton).

How much money you make could affect the size of your engagement ring. In a new study, researchers found that, on average, men pony up more for rings when marrying women with high incomes.
– “Cosmo Daily”


1948 [60] Pat O’Brien, Sioux Falls SD, TV entertainment magazine host (“The Insider” since 2004)/rehab veteran  FACTOID: Donny Osmond is doing an impressive job filling in as co-host of his show while he dries out … again. Will he have a gig to come back to?

1948 [60] (Raymond) Teller, Philadelphia PA, Las Vegas magician (the shorter, less obnoxious one from Penn & Teller) who has legally reduced his name to one word

1972 [36] Rob Thomas, Landstuhl Military Base, Germany, pop singer (“Ever the Same”, “Lonely No More”, 3 Grammy Awards w/Santana-“Smooth”, Matchbox 20-“Push”, “3 AM”)

• “Donor Day”, the 10th annual observance encouraging us to fill out an organ & tissue donation card and also to donate blood. You could save a life! How appropriate that it’s on the day when we give hearts.

• “Ferris Wheel Day”, celebrating the 1859 birth of George Washington Gale Ferris, the Galesburg IL engineer who invented the ‘Ferris wheel’ for the 1893 “Chicago World’s Exposition”. The original wheel measured 250 ft in diameter and could carry 1,440 passengers.

• “Great Energy Efficiency Day”, the 5th annual sponsored by the Alliance to Save Energy to promote energy efficiency worldwide. The advocacy group advises that there are lots of quick fixes, including resetting your thermostat and turning off unused electronics.

• “Have-A-Heart Day”, when vegetarians encourage you to quit eating animals. So go kill a carrot today!

• “Valentines Day”, the most widely celebrated unofficial holiday. A few interesting facts …
– The Catholic Church recognizes at least 3 different saints named Valentine, all of whom were martyred, one for performing secret weddings for young lovers.
– Pope Gelasius declared February 14th “St Valentine’s Day” around 498 AD, in part to replace the ancient Roman fertility festival “Lupercalia”.
– About 1 billion Valentine cards are exchanged, making it the 3rd largest card-sending occasion after Christmas and Father’s Day. It’s also the 4th-biggest flower-selling occasion.
– Teachers receive the most Valentines Day cards, followed by school children, mothers, wives, and then, sweethearts.
More on the history of the observance here …

1984 [24] Elton John marries Renata Blauel in Sydney, Australia (the next day he’s nominated for a ‘Best Actor’ Oscar)

1996 [12] Prince weds Mayte Garcia in a Valentines Day ceremony in Minneapolis MN (what’s her new last name?)

2006 [02] Willie Nelson releases the song “Cowboys are Secretly, Frequently (Fond of Each Other)” on Valentines Day

2000 [08] After keeping his remains in a cardboard box for years, Blessed John Duns Scotus Church in Glasgow, Scotland puts the bones of St Valentine on display (other European churches also claim to have some of the relics … they should get together and build a complete saint!)

1415 [593] ‘Oldest Known Valentine’ is sent by the Duke of Orleans to his French wife while he’s imprisoned in the Tower of London (still on display in a British museum)

1975 [33] ABA’s San Diego Conquistadors beat NJ Nets 176-166 to set record for ‘Most  Points Scored in a Pro Basketball Game’ … 342!

1979 [29] ‘Oldest Caged Guinea Pig’ dies at age 14 years, 10 months (‘Snowball’, Bingham UK)

[Fri] “Definitely, Maybe”; “Step Up 2 the Streets” open in movie theaters
[Fri] National Flag of Canada Day
[Fri] Second Honeymoon Weekend
[Mon] Thumb Appreciation Day
[Mon] President’s Day (USA)
[Mon] Family Day (AB, ON, SK)/Louis Riel Day (MB)
This Week Is … Celebration of Love Week
This Month Is … Cat Health Month


Don’t have a Valentine, guys? You won’t get one using these …
• “Check it toots: Daddy wants to rock your world.”
• “You look familiar – haven’t I stalked you before?”
• “Can I call you Deep-Fat Frier? Because you sizzle.”
• “Excuse me, I’m a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?”
• “Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.”
• “It’s weird, but you totally remind me of this hermaphrodite who lived in my dorm.”
• “My mom says I’m the best kisser in the neighborhood.”
• “Should I call you in the morning or just nudge you?”
• “So, you’re a girl huh?”

Why do men want to marry virgins? They can’t stand criticism.

Is Valentines Day just another excuse for commercialism or is it truly worthwhile?

Today’s Question: Married people are more likely to participate in THIS activity than those who are single, widowed, or divorced.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Voting.

The last thing you want your relationship to become is ‘serious’.

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