Monday, February 19, 2007        Edition: #3470
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• Has Britney Spears become completely unhinged? She’s check into and then out of rehab within a day, reportedly Eric Clapton’s Crossroads center on the Caribbean island of Antigua. Then after flying coach class into LA, she demanded that a hair salon shave her head and when the hairdresser refused, she grabbed the clippers and did it herself. She topped off the new look with a pair of new tattoos from a Sherman Oaks CA ink parlor.
– “US Weekly”
• The owners of the beauty salon saved every strand of Britney’s hair and say they plan to auction it on eBay for charity. And that’s not the only way they’re cleaning up. The salon is now charging $200 a pop to get what’s being billed the ‘Brit Buzz Special’.
• Actress Lindsay Lohan has finished her stay at LA’s Wonderland rehab center but will continue the program as an outpatient, according to her rep. So far she’s managed an entire weekend without getting into trouble.
– E! Online
• Her final resting place is still in limbo, but Anna Nicole Smith’s body was finally embalmed SATURDAY and then locked away in a medical examiner’s office. It was previously being maintained in a refrigerated room. Maybe she & James Brown could get a deal on a ‘group grave’?
– “Star Magazine”
• Among a cast of loonies, Prince Frederick von Anhalt has somehow managed to make himself
the most bizarre facet of the Anna Nicole Smith tragedy. Husband of 90-year-old Zsa Zsa Gabor, von Anhalt is said to have bought his title, knocked more than 15 years off his real age (mid-70s), laid claim to a German castle, and now claims he’s the father of Smith’s baby. That would be something of a surprise … he’s already tried suing the makers of Viagra for ‘performance problems’.
• “Simple Life” star Nicole Richie has been formally charged with DUI, 2 months after being arrested while driving the wrong way on a Los Angeles freeway. Her rap sheet includes a previous DUI conviction in 2003. Under California law, anyone committing 2 such offences within 10 years can be sentenced to between 3 months and a year in the slammer. A hearing has been scheduled for WEDNESDAY.
– The Bosh
• “Music & Lyrics” actor Hugh Grant is back on the market, splitting with his 3-year girlfriend Jemima Khan. The couple announced FRIDAY night that it was all over and, of course, that it was ‘amicable’. Wags say their relationship was doomed because she wants to settle down but he won’t commit.
– “People”
• Grant’s “Music & Lyrics” co-star Drew Barrymore has apparently found a new man after splitting with Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti LAST MONTH. She‘s been spotted getting cozy with film director Spike Jonze while taking in the Arcade Fire concert in NYC. Jonze divorced “Lost in Translation” director Sofia Coppola in 2003.

• Audioslave – Frontman Chris Cornell has announced he is permanently leaving the super-group due to ‘unresolvable personality conflicts and musical differences’.
• Big & Rich — YESTERDAY they sang the anthem prior to the “Daytona 500” NASCAR season kick-off (FOX) in Daytona Beach FL.
• The Cult – 44-year-old Ian Astbury is quitting his gig playing in a band with members of The Doors (who’ve been touring under the name ‘Riders on the Storm’) and will attempt to relaunch his 1980s rock group.
• Fall Out Boy – TODAY they appear on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) and TONIGHT they do “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Foxy Brown – She’s been arrested yet again, this time in Florida on charges of battery and obstruction of justice after a disturbance at a Miami-area beauty shop. Brown allegedly attacked the owner … with hair glue. The victim is already planning to file a big-buck lawsuit.
• Guns ‘N Roses – Steven Adler claims the entire original band may re-form, including himself, Slash, Izzy Stradlin & Duff Mckagan. Frontman Axl Rose is the only original member of the band in its current incarnation.
• Hank Williams Jr – The 57-year-old country music star has filed for divorce from his 4th wife, Mary Jane Williams. They met at a concert in 1985 and married in 1990.
• Kenny Chesney – LAST NIGHT on “60 Minutes” (CBS), he denied persistent rumors his brief marriage to actress Renee Zellweger ended because he’s gay. Quote: “It’s not true. Period.”
• The Police – They’re adding an extra show to their reunion tour in both Vancouver and Montréal after tickets sold out in a single day.
• Snow Patrol – Frontman Gary Lightbody says he’s been ‘sorry every day’ since booting his former bandmate Mark McClelland out of the group in 2005. Blaming the ‘unexpected pressures of stardom’, Lightbody admits the band’s co-founder has a right to be PO-ed. Try sending him a cut from “Chasing Cars” royalties … that’d cheer him right up!
• Terri Clark – The 38-year-old country star has filed for divorce from Greg Kaczor after just 17 months of marriage. He’s also losing his job as her tour manager. It was her 2nd marriage. Apparently when it comes to saying ‘I Do’ … “Girls Lie Too”.

Some wiseacre has come up with the world’s first ‘Global Warming Coffee Mug’. A map of the world adorns the outside, but when you fill it up with a hot drink the low-lying land masses on the map begin to disappear as the ice caps melt and the ocean spreads across the coast lines. Even at a pricey 15 bucks … they’re already sold out!
– “Curious Times”

An employment website has compiled a list of some of the world’s most unusual ways to make a living. While some require specialized knowledge (‘whiskey ambassador’, ‘snow researcher’, ‘coffin maker’), most can be done by any slacker with the ability to work for minimum wage. For example, it’s unlikely you even need a high-school diploma to become a ‘potato chip inspector’, ‘golf ball diver’, ‘dog food taster’, ‘egg inspector’, or to be ‘gum remover’ from sidewalks, street benches and utility poles.

Why do women tear down the appearance of other women? According to a study by a researcher at Toronto’s York University, it’s one way ovulating women compete for potential mates. This ‘indirect aggression’ may often be subconscious, but seems to be a result of the primal urge to find a suitable male. Thus a woman may gossip about another women’s looks, her promiscuous nature, or her inability to bear children.. When it comes to competing for mates, men on the other hand are more likely to just get into a fist-fight.

• A substitute teacher in Lewiston, New York has admitted to using cocaine in front of her 4th-grade pupils. Two students snitched after they saw the 59-year-old use the cap of a pen to scoop the contents from a small plastic bag and then shove it in her nose. (She’s facing 6 months in jail and a D- in penmanship.)
• Cops in Jacksonville Beach, Florida who happened upon a couple of shady-looking characters parked in a store parking lot discovered their suspicions were well founded. Jammed into the back seat of the vehicle was a stolen … automatic teller machine. Then, just moments after the pair were apprehended, the store’s burglar alarm went off. (This just might be the quickest bust in history!)
• A 50-year-old woman in Stanislaus County, California has been arrested for trying to hire friends to murder her ex-husband … with wasps. She allegedly had the pests put into his car, hoping he would die from an allergic reaction. (Or at least break out in ‘hives’.)
• North Dakota has decided to downgrade the offence of living out of wedlock from a ‘sex crime’ to ‘fraud’, and then only if the couple claims to be married. Since statehood, it has barred unmarried couples from living together as if they were married. (In it’s galloping charge toward joining the 18th century, the state is also considering doing away with chastity belts and witch trials.)

“Ding ding! Time to throw your drawers in the dryer.” That’s the message University of Iowa students can now receive by e-mail. Thanks to software installed along with new high-efficiency washers LAST FALL, the school’s dorm residents receive e-mail alerts when their laundry cycles have finished. UI also has a new web-based service, called ‘LaundryView’, that lets students check on-line for available washers and dryers. Even with all this new technology, we’re betting most of them still take their dirty clothes home to mom.
– “Social Studies”

A new study titled “Money as an Aphrodisiac – Being Rich Means Getting Lucky on Your Own Terms” questioned men and women with an average net worth of $89 million, and found that 84% of rich women and 63% of rich men say that having money has improved their love lives. Guess that means 16% of rich women and 37% of wealthy guys must be really, really ugly.
– Fox News

A recent examination using DNA molecular testing found that there are at least 182 and perhaps as many as 250 different species of bacteria living on your skin, with microbes outnumbering human cells by a 10-to-1 margin. Interestingly, one researcher studying the microbes suggests that the common notion of washing your hands all the time to prevent illness may be useless because you end up washing off many of the ‘good’ bacteria which form a protective layer over skin as a defense against ‘bad’ bacteria.
– “Scientific American”

• 91% of actors polled say they’d sleep with someone in order to get a job. (99.9% of male respondents say they’d sleep with someone … who cares about the job?)
• The bacteria levels in women’s offices are nearly 3 times higher than those in men’s offices, according to University of Arizona research. (It’s all that wadded up Kleenex in purses.)
• The first toothpaste was invented about 4,000 years ago and consisted of a highly abrasive combination of pumice stone and wine vinegar – brushed on with a stick. (“Son, your teeth are looking yellow, better get a new stick.”)

A South Korean woman has set an as-yet-unofficial new world record by singing karaoke for 59 hours and 48 minutes, thereby eclipsing the previous sing-along marathon by 36 minutes. Kim Seok-ok says she performed the feat to cheer up her husband … who’s fighting a brain tumor.
– BBC News

“It’s not true, is what I can say, just not true.”
– “American Idol” executive producer Nigel Lythgoe in “TV Week”, categorically denying rumors that Michael Jackson will appear on the show as a guest judge THIS SEASON.

“The other day I met a guy we both made out with. I feel closer to you now than ever before”
– Actress Sharon Stone to openly gay actor Rupert Everett, according to “Daily Express”.


1940 [67] Smokey Robinson, Detroit MI, legendary Motown singer (“Cruisin’”, “I Second That Emotion”)/songwriter (“My Guy”, “My Girl”)/recording producer/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1987)/Kennedy Center Honors (2006)

1955 [52] Jeff Daniels, Athens GA, movie actor (“Good Night, and Good Luck”, “Dumb & Dumber”)

1960 [47] Prince Andrew (Andrew Albert Christian Edward Windsor), London UK, Britain’s Duke of York/son of Queen Elizabeth II/Fergie’s ex-/Prince Charles’ little brother/single-digit handicap golfer

1963 [44] Seal (Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adelo Samuel), London UK, pop singer (“Kiss From a Rose”, “Crazy”)/married to model Heidi Klum (2005)

1967 [40] Benicio Del Toro, Santurce, Puerto Rico, movie actor (“Sin City”, Oscar-“Traffic”)   COMING UP: Plays the lead role of Argentine revolutionary Che Guevara in “Guerilla”, coming in 2008.

1975 [32] Daniel Adair, Hanna AB, rock drummer (Nickelback-“Far Away”, “Photograph”)/formerly with 3 Doors Down  FACTOID: TOMORROW Nickelback embarks on an 18-city tour in Tacoma WA.

1985 [22] Haylie Duff, Houston TX, TV actress (‘Sandy Jameson’ on “7th Heaven” since 2005)/movie actress (“Material Girls”, “Napoleon Dynamite”)/older sister of singer-actress Hilary Duff

• “Bun Day” in Iceland, where the goal is to successfully spank people with a colorful decorated stick before they get out of bed, and receive a cream bun as a prize in return. What fun!

• “Family Day” in Alberta (the only province in Canada to have a statutory holiday in FEBRUARY), originally declared to recognize the values held by the pioneers who built the province and the values of home & family. Celebrated annually on the 3rd MONDAY of the month.

• “President’s Day”, a federal holiday in the United States celebrated on the 3rd MONDAY of FEBRUARY to honor both Presidents George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, as well as all others who have served as American president.

• “Rose Monday”, the day before “Shrove Tuesday” and “Mardi Gras”.

1960 [47] 1st edition of “The Family Circus” comic strip by Bil Keane (they’re middle-aged, so how come ‘Billy’, ‘Dolly’, ‘Jeffy’ and ‘PJ’ still look the same?)

1995 [12] Clad in a white bikini, Pamela Anderson weds Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee in Cancun, Mexico (they divorce in 1998)

1974 [33] Producer/music impresario Dick Clark launches the annual “American Music Awards”

1906 [101] 1st ‘Corn Flakes’ go on sale (do you put the milk on first or the sugar?)

1981 [26] 1st scientific report about atmospheric warming caused by pollution, dubbed the ‘Greenhouse Effect’ or ‘Global Warming’ (thereby giving Al Gore a hobby)

1996 [11] Canada’s new $2 coin officially released (and ‘toonie busting’, separating the two metals that make up the coin, briefly becomes a national pastime)

[Tues] Shrove Tuesday
[Tues] Pancake Day
[Tues] Mardi Gras
[Tues] Hoodie Hoo Day
[Wed] Ash Wednesday
[Wed] Card Reading Day
[Wed] Single Tasking Day

Pay Your Bills Week / Build A Better Trade Show Image Week / Engineers Week / Pancake Week


The name of the CFL championship trophy is up for grabs. For only a $10-million sponsorship fee you can slap your own moniker on it. Suggested new BS names for the Grey Cup …
• The Formerly Grey Now Blazingly White Cup Thanks to Borax, Bleach & Brighteners!
• The Canadian Tire All-Season Radial Cup.
• The CCM Deluxe Athletic Support Cup
• The Tim Horton’s Hot Breakfast Sandwich That Might Sorta Resemble a McDonald’s Egg McMuffin But is Really a Totally Different Thing Altogether Cup.
• The Earl Grey Cup … It’s Everybody’s Cup of Tea.
• The Wonderbra Double-D Cup.
• The Just For Men No Longer Grey Cup.

Today’s Question: Men who wear THIS are twice as likely to get lucky in the kitchen.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: An apron.

Be happy while you’re living, for you’re a long time dead.

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