Friday, February 16, 2007        Edition: #3469
Ahhh, It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

SUNDAY the Trailer Park Boys return to host the 2007 “East Coast Music Awards” live from the Halifax Metro Centre (CBC), featuring performances by In-Flight Safety, Classified, and the Joel Plaskett Emergency (NET: . . . SUNDAY “Amazing Race: All-Stars” debuts (CBS/CTV), with 11 former teams returning for another chance to race 45,000 miles through 5 continents in 28 days for a million smackers (and yes, professional reality show contestants Rob & Amber Mariano are back – again!) . . . After each episode, CBS will reveal what happens to each team that’s eliminated and sequestered in a house with its new online feature “Elimination Station” (NET: . . . SUNDAY the final 2 episodes of Reba McEntire’s sitcom “Reba” air back-to-back (CW) as the show winds up after 6 seasons (that’s the thanks you get for being the network’s most-watched comedy) . . . Oprah Winfrey’s production company will adapt Mitch Albom’s best-selling novel “For One More Day” into an ABC-TV movie that will air in DECEMBER (Albom’s “The Five People You Meet in Heaven” and “Tuesdays With Morrie” were previously acclaimed TV movies) . . . In honor of satirist Stephen Colbert (Comedy Central), Ben & Jerry’s has named the new ice cream flavor ‘Americone Dream’ (vanilla ice cream, fudge-covered waffle cone pieces & caramel) . . . “Monty Python” alum Eric Idle will follow up his hugely successful “Spamalot” stage musical with “Not The Messiah (He’s A Very Naughty Boy)”, based on the comedy troupe’s 1979 movie “Life Of Brian” (premieres at the new “Luminato Festival” in Toronto JUNE 1-10th) . . . “Factory Girl” actress Sienna Miller is reportedly being lined up as the next ‘Bond girl’, which would mean she’d be teaming with her former boyfriend Daniel Craig in the next ‘007′ movie, now known only as “Bond 22” . . . And NBC-TV has confirmed its ratings bomb “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” will be shelved as of FEBRUARY 26th and no return date has been set (over-hyped as the network’s new ‘anchor show’, it’s likely to be deep-sixed for good).

• Carlos Santana – He’s opening a chain of Mexican restaurants in California named “Maria Maria”, in honor of his Grammy-winning hit.
• Justin Timberlake – TOMORROW he’s the host/musical guest on “Saturday Night Live” (NBC).
• Katharine McPhee – TODAY she guests on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV). She could use the exposure; her self-titled album has fallen from #2 to #11 in its 2nd week.
• Keith Urban – THIS MORNING he’s on the “Today Show” (NBC).
• Kellie Pickler – Her loser father Clyde Pickler has been arrested once again, this time for allegedly assaulting a woman with … a steak knife.
• Omarion – TONIGHT he performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• Paul McCartney – His soon-to-be-ex-, Heather Mills, is reportedly considering showing off her moves on the upcoming season of “Dancing With the Stars”. Competitors will be announced FEBRUARY 21st.
• Robbie Williams – A new report reveals why the Brit pop star is in rehab for addiction. His daily intake is said to have included 60 cigarettes, 36 double espressos, 20 cans of Red Bull, several capsules of the anti-depressant Seroxat, plus numerous sleeping pills to knock himself out.

• “Breach” ( PG-13 Spy Thriller ): Based on a true story, an FBI upstart gets involved in a power struggle with his boss, an agent who is ultimately convicted of selling secrets to Russia. Stars  Reese Witherspoon’s ex-, Ryan Phillippe; character actor Chris Cooper (the familiar face with the little-known name who’s appeared in “Capote”, “The Bourne Supremacy”, “Seabiscuit” and dozens more); and Dennis Haysbert (‘David Palmer’ on “24″). Partially filmed in Toronto. Here’s the trailer …
• “Bridge to Terabithia” ( PG Disney Family Adventure ): Two new 5th-grade friends who create an imaginary land in order to deal with their real-world problems end up discovering a bonafide magical kingdom in the forest, where they are anointed king and queen. No-name cast. Based on the popular Katherine Paterson children’s novel. Filmed in New Zealand. Music & clips …
• “Ghost Rider” ( PG-13 Action Thriller ): Nicolas Cage stars as Marvel Comics character ‘Johnny Blaze‘, a stunt motorcyclist who gives up his soul to become a vigilante and fight against power-hungry ‘Blackheart’ (Wes Bentley), the son of the devil himself. Co-stars Eva Mendes (“Hitch”), and Peter Fonda (“Easy Rider”) as ‘Mephistopheles’. Shot in Australia (re-shoots in Vancouver). Music and trailer here …

A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … men’s brains generally shrink between the ages of 25 and 80. Women’s brains, on the other hand, remain about the same size. (There isn’t a wife alive who’s surprised by this discovery.)
• Scientists say … we can use chickens to fight cancer. UK researchers have developed genetically-modified hens which lay eggs containing the proteins needed to produce cancer-fighting drugs. (An omelette a day keeps the Big C away … who woulda thought?)
• Scientists say … people who spend a couple of hours a day playing the action video game “Unreal Tournament” can improve their vision by 20% in a month. (Their minds, however, are reduced to the same intelligence as a bowl of oatmeal.)
• Scientists say … antisocial traits such as being argumentative, bullying and lying are often inherited. A new study finds that couples who fight a lot may genetically pass the trait on to their children. (For more information, Google ‘trailer trash’.)

If you’re itching for a mid-winter break, maybe you should consider moving to Italy. The average Italian worker gets an amazing 42 days off per year, according to stats from the World Tourism Organization. The average annual vacation time in other countries: France (37), Germany (35), Brazil (34), Britain (28), Canada (26), Japan (25), and the USA (13).
– “Reuters

YESTERDAY at the annual “Winterfest” in Syracuse NY, an attempt to break the “Guinness World Record” for most ‘snow angels’ created at one time was cancelled. The problem? Ironically, too much snow and cold! There’s a chance they may try again later THIS MONTH.
– AP

• The internet hosts approximately 200 million blogs that are no longer being updated.
• Ducks can get the flu.
• By the year 2050, the world’s elderly will outnumber everyone else for the first time in history.
• 1 in 4 compulsive gamblers is a woman.

“How many times do people say, ‘So, when are you going to have kids?’ Can I slap you now?”
– Sandra Bullock in the MARCH issue of “InStyle” magazine.


1958 [49] Ice T (Tracy Morrow), Newark NJ, TV actor (‘Detective Fin Tutuola’ on “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” since 2000)/former rapper (“Cop Killer”)

1959 [48] John McEnroe, Wiesbaden Air Force Base, Germany, TV tennis analyst/Hall of Fame player ranked #1 for 4 years during the 1980s

1961 [46] Andy Taylor, Newcastle UK, classic rock guitarist (Duran Duran-“Hungry Like the Wolf”, “The Reflex”)

1972 [35] Taylor Hawkins, Ft Worth TX, rock drummer (Foo Fighters since 1997-“No Way Back”, “Times Like These”)/drummer for Alanis Morissette 1995-96

Comedian Barry Humphries (Dame Edna) is 73; Movie actress Rene Russo (“Get Shorty”) is 53; Comedian/actor Dan Whitney (Larry the Cable Guy) is 44; TV actor Dominic Purcell (“Prison Break”) is 37; Movie actress Denise Richards (“The World Is Not Enough”) is 36; Rock singer/guitarist Billie Joe Armstrong (Green Day) is 35; TV actor Jerry O’Connell (“Crossing Jordan”) is 33; Famous person Paris Hilton is 26.

John Lennon’s widow Yoko Ono is 74; Movie actor John Travolta (“Pulp Fiction”) is 53; TV personality Vanna White (“Wheel of Fortune”) is 50; Movie actor Matt Dillon (“Crash”) is 43; Music impresario Dr Dre is 42; Pop singer Rihanna (“SOS”) is 19.

• “Do a Grouch a Favor Day”, a day to perform an unexpected good deed to cheer up someone who’s sulky.
• “Great Backyard Bird Count” through Monday, when volunteers are asked to track the number and types of birds that live near their homes.
• “NBA All-Star 2007 Weekend” in Las Vegas, highlighted by TONIGHT’s “Celebrity Game” with Jamie Foxx, Nelly, James Denton & others; Mary J Blige performing during the “NBA All-Star Saturday Night”, which features the slam-dunk, skills & 3-point shooting competitions; and Christina Aguilera singing her new single “Candyman” at halftime of SUNDAY night’s 56th annual “NBA All-Star Game” (TNT), when Toni Braxton also performs.
• “Second Honeymoon Weekend”, set aside for all couples to spend quality time away from ‘the grind and routine of their daily lives’. In that case, should they be together?

• “Jalapeno Festival”, the 29th annual  in Laredo TX where the record for pepper-popping is 141 jalapenos in 15 minutes, set way back in 1979.
• “PTA Founders’ Day”, commemorating the parent-teacher group’s 1897 founding.
• “Student Volunteer Day”, a day for students to give back to their communities by offering to take on worthwhile tasks.

• “Chinese New Year” begins, kicking off a 2-week celebration and transition from the old ‘Year of Dog’ to the new lunar year, the ‘Year of Pig’. It’s the biggest celebration of the year for Chinese around-the-globe, about 20% of the world’s population. ‘Happy Chinese New Year!’ is expressed by ‘Gung Hay Fat Choy!’
• “Daytona 500”, the 49th annual running of the ‘Great American Race’ at Daytona International Speedway in Daytona Beach FL, which kicks off the NASCAR racing season. Kelly Clarkson performs in the pre-race “Tribute to America” special (FOX), then this year’s honorary grand marshal, actor Nicolas Cage, will instruct drivers to ‘start your engines’.
• “Hadaka Matsuri” (“Naked Festival”) in Inazawa, Japan, a centuries-old festival when loincloth-clad participants gather at Konomiya Shrine and search for the lone fully-naked man who is among them. Touching the man is believed to bring good luck and happiness.
• “Open a Can of Beans Day” in celebration of “Canned Food Month”, when we’re encouraged to chow down on beans during at least one meal. Oops, pardon me.
• “Thumb Appreciation Day”, celebrating the single feature that sets us apart from other animals … except apes.

1990 [17] 1st issue of “Entertainment Weekly” magazine (kd lang on the cover)

1994 [13] Apple introduces 1st ‘Digital Camera’ that allows uploads to computer

1980 [27] ‘World’s Longest Traffic Jam’ extends 180 km (109 mi) from Paris to Lyons, France

[Mon] Rose Monday
[Mon] Bun Day
[Mon] President’s Day (USA)
[Mon] Family Day (Alberta)
[Tues] Shrove Tuesday / Pancake Day / Mardi Gras
[Wed] Ash Wednesday
[Wed] Single Tasking Day
This Week Is … Heart Failure Awareness Week
This Month Is … International Expect Success Month


THIS WEEKEND in the new Nicolas Cage movie, ‘Ghost Rider’ takes on ‘Blackheart’, considered a second-tier rivalry according to comic-book aficionados. But these are even more obscure …
• ‘Madame Kick-Ass’ vs ‘Iron Nose’.
• ‘Max Halitosis’ vs ‘Kid Tantrum’.
• ‘The Guy Who Beats People to a Bloody Pulp’ vs ‘The Betty Ford Defender’.
• ‘The Flush’ vs ‘The Phantom Accessorizer’.
• ‘The Human Spurt’ vs ‘Captain Comb-Over’.
• ‘Yes-Man’ vs ‘Tax Man’.
• ‘Mr Clean’ vs ‘Dirt Devil’.
• ‘The Passive Aggressor’ vs ‘The Uppity Maitre D’.
• ‘Masked Mormon’ vs ‘The Invisible Screenwriter’.

Your contestant gets 15 seconds to give as many answers as possible in each category. Time’s up when the toaster SFX go off.
• Winter sports.
• Menu items.
• Footwear.
• Things with tails.
• Crimes.
Toaster SFX are here if you need them …

Women (guys) are like Internet domain names … the ones I like are already taken.

The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Beyoncé Knowles – “Irreplaceable”
4. Akon – “I Wanna Luv U”
3. DJ Unk – “Walk It Out”
2. Justin Timberlake – “My Love”
1. Akon – “Smack That”
– Big Champagne Online Music Measurement

• Whyzit men complain about the silent treatment? Isn’t that like ‘free time’?
• Whyzit heavyweight boxing champions need bodyguards?
• Whyzit we build machines that think and people who don’t?
• Whyzit real people never look like the mannequins in shop windows?
• Whyzit no matter how healthy you are or how much you weigh, when you die there are always 6 pallbearers to carry your coffin?

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received? (How about: “Don’t pay too much attention to advice you receive.”)

Today’s Question: The first time you do THIS, it should not exceed 2 hours.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Date. (Experts say people tend to burn out easily on a first date, so it should be kept brief.)

Friends are people you can be quiet with.

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