Thursday, February 15, 2007        Edition: #3468
Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY Scarlett Johansson receives the annual “Hasty Pudding Award” from the student drama group at Harvard University for making a ‘lasting & impressive contribution to the world of entertainment’ (Ben Stiller gets the male award FEBRUARY 23rd) . . . TODAY through Monday a 5-day “Rock & Roll Fantasy Camp” in Hollywood CA gives campers the chance to jam with rock relics the likes of Brian Wilson (Beach Boys), Paul Stanley (KISS), and Brett Michaels (Poison) – provided they fork out the $9,499 registration fee, of course (NET: http://tinyurl.com/yfhtuo) . . . TONIGHT Paris Hilton is scheduled to attend Vienna’s exclusive “Opera Ball” as the special guest of 74-year-old Austrian real-estate mogul Richard Lugner & his wife, who make it an annual tradition to invite a celeb to the gala (basically it’s ‘rent-a-star’) . . . “Marie Antoinette” filmmaker Sofia Coppola is set to stage her first opera, the Puccini romantic tragedy “Manon Lescaut”, during the 2009-2010 season at France’s Montpellier Opera House (hope she’s not casting Bill Murray) . . . Movie actress Queen Latifah says she wants to adopt a child but won’t be following the Hollywood crowd going overseas to do it, because there are lots of kids at home that need help . . . Under a new Google deal, some 4,000 hours of complete classic TV shows will soon be available for viewing on YouTube, but you’ll have to put up with display ads in order to watch them (wow, “Gilligan’s Island” on your PC!) . . . “Dreamgirls” actress Jennifer Hudson will appear on the cover of the MARCH edition of “Vogue” magazine, which will be dubbed ‘The Power Issue’ . . . And Madonna has been honored for her ‘experimental and ever-changing personal sense of fashion’ at THIS YEAR’s “Elle Style Awards” in London (seems seeing your grandma prancing around in tights isn’t considered so tacky after all).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – She’ll be the cover girl for the 2007 swimsuit issue of “Sports Illustrated”, clad in a pink & yellow bikini. Kanye West, Aerosmith, Kenny Chesney, Gnarls Barkley and Panic! at the Disco pose inside with the swimsuit models.
• Fall Out Boy – TONIGHT they appear on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Henry Rollins – TODAY he’s on “MTV Live” (MTV Canada).
• Incubus – TONIGHT they play “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC). See ‘BS Celebirthdays’.
• Nas – TONIGHT he does “Can’t Forget About You” on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Pink Floyd – Estranged co-founder Roger Waters will perform the group’s landmark “Dark Side of the Moon” album in it’s entirety during a 24-city North American tour beginning MAY 18 in West Palm Beach FL. Don’t forget to take your DVD player & a copy of “The Wizard of Oz” to watch in sync!
• Three Days Grace – TONIGHT they guest on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Toni Braxton – She has an out-of-court settlement with Blackground Records whereby she’s released from her contract provided she returns a $375,000 advance plus a cut of the royalties from her next album. All of this was brought on because her last album tanked big-time.

FUTURE FLICKS:
• “The Hardy Men” – Tom Cruise & Ben Stiller are teaming for this action comedy based on the hugely popular “Hardy Boys” classic book series. The premise is that the teen sleuths have grown up and become estranged from one another, but are brought back together to work on one last case. It will be directed by Shawn Levy (“Night at the Museum”).
• “Haunted High School Musical” – This is a spin-off feature from Disney’s mega-hit made-for-TV movie “High School Musical”, which made a $100-million profit (a sequel TV movie is also in the works). As yet, there’s no storyline for the bigscreen version but we’re guessing there’ll be lots of singing and dancing when it hits the silver screen in 2008.
• “The Young Victoria” – Filmmaker Martin Scorsese (“The Departed”) is co-producing this bio-film about Britain’s longest-serving monarch (1837-1901) to be helmed by Québec director Jean-Marc Vallée (“CRAZY”). The story will focus on Victoria as a young woman who came to the throne at age 18 and had an intense romance with her husband, Prince Albert. The movie’s scheduled to begin shooting THIS YEAR for release in 2009. No cast has been announced. Unfortunately, everyone’s favorite regal thespian, 61-year-old Helen Mirren (“The Queen”, “Elizabeth I”) is a little long in the tiara to do another royal turn in this one.
• “Youth Without Youth” – 67-year-old filmmaker Francis Ford Coppola (“Apocalypse Now”, “The Godfather”) is just putting the final touches on this, his first film in a decade. It’s a pre-WW2 drama about a life-changing incident that turns a professor (Tim Roth) into a fugitive. Coppola says he can now afford to ‘be his own patron’, financing his films personally thanks to the success of his Napa Valley wine business. The film’s due out in the 2nd half of THIS YEAR.

WHY HUSBANDS IGNORE NAGGING:
Duke University researchers have found that some people act in ways that are not to their own benefit simply because they naturally rebel against what others want them to do. The psychologists describe the behavior as ‘reactance’ – a person’s tendency to resist social influences that they perceive as threats to their autonomy. In simpler terms – ignoring what people say because they’re in your face and invading your space. But don’t take it personally – often, it’s a totally subconscious reaction. (Yeah, try saying “I can’t help it, honey … I’m suffering from reactance” and see how it works out for you.)
– UPI

EYE OF THE BEHOLDER:
YESTERDAY the unveiling of a 2,000-year-old coin at Britain’s Newcastle University proved that one of the world’s oldest celebrity couples were apparently not be as beautiful as believed. On one side, the coin pictures Roman general Mark Antony with a hook nose, thick neck and bulging eyes. Egyptian queen Cleopatra is pictured on the other side of the coin with a pointed chin, thin lips and a sharp nose. The ancient coin is thought to be from 32 BC, 2 years before the ill-fated couple both committed suicide. (A couple of months after the invention of the mirror.)
– PA News

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
• 70% of us now color our hair.
• 45% of us have the dream of someday owning our own business.
• 28% of cheaters have been caught because of text messages.
• 23% of married men store a woman’s name under a man’s on their cellphone so their spouse doesn’t see it.
• 21% of car owners have a nickname for their vehicle.
• 20% of passengers on flights 2-and-a-half hours or longer suffer from a cold within 1 week.
• 10% of drinkers go on to become alcoholics.

STOP MONA-ING:
Security personnel at the Louvre museum in Paris, France are demanding an extra $200 per month as ‘hazard pay’ for guarding Leonardo Da Vinci’s famous painting of the “Mona Lisa”. A union spokesman says there are so many visitors that those pulling “Mona Lisa” duty suffer from enormous stress. The guards are threatening to strike if they don’t receive the raise. Not to be left out, the staff watching the “Venus de Milo” want a lesser increase. (If there’s any truth to the lax security in “The Da Vinci Code”, they should all get canned!)
– AFP

TIPS ON TIPPERS:
Who are the worst tippers? According to a survey of some 5,000 people in the hospitality industry, these are the worst 5, ranked by general category …
5. Women.
4. Teachers.
3. Tourists (particularly Canadians and Europeans).
2. Young Adults (21-to-24-year-olds).
1. Seniors.
– “Bartender Magazine”

IMAGE IS EVERYTHING:
The country of Kazakhstan has created a task force to improve its image after it was ridiculed in Sacha Baron Cohen’s movie “Borat”. The foreign affairs ministry has created a special ‘Committee of International Information’ to work on dispelling the idea that the country is full of in-breds, drunks and anti-Semites. (It hopes to promote the country’s cultural learnings for make benefit this glorious nation.)
– Reuters

HOW DO YOU SPELL RELIEF?
Next time you hear the old excuse, “Not tonight, I have a headache” mention this: Scientific studies show that making love may be just the ticket for relieving headache pain. In fact, a little friskiness has been shown to yield a variety of healthful benefits, from easing joint pain to improving circulation, to boosting the immune system. (It’s also more fun than a kick in the keister … but doesn’t last quite as long.)
– “News & Observer”

YOU CAN’T WIN EVEN IF YOU DO PLAY:
Wayne Schenk of Naples NY has won a million-dollar scratch-‘n-win lottery – that’s the good news. The bad news is, the game only pays the winner $50,000-a-year for 20 years. And the really bad news is, the guy has inoperable lung cancer and only has about a year to live. And the really, really bad news is, he already owes $400,000 for cancer treatments. And the really, really, really bad news is, he’s spoken to the lottery about substituting a lesser lump-sum payment but has been told it’s just not possible. (On a cheery note: his savings bond’s will mature in just 5 more years!)
– ABC News

IN THEIR CUPS:
A new poll by bra-maker Triumph has found that British women have the biggest bazookas in Europe. Percentage of women wearing a D-cup size …
1. UK … 57%
2. Denmark … 50%
3. Netherlands … 36%
4. Belgium … 28%
5. France … 26%
– “The Sun”

DID YOU KNOW?
Indoor air is often 2-to-5 times more polluted than outdoor air.

AND WE QUOTE:
“I’ve never been drunk. I’ve never done recreational drugs. I’m squeaky clean. I’ve worked my ass off my entire life. (But) being involved in the show causes people to question everything.”
– Loopy “American Idol” judge Paula Abdul denying all the rumors yet again in TOMORROW’s issue of “Us Weekly” magazine.

THE BULL SHEET 02.15.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1951 [56] Jane Seymour, Hayes UK, movie actress (“Wedding Crashers”)/former TV actress (“Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman” 1993-98)

1954 [53] Matt Groening, Portland OR, animator/TV show creator (“The Simpsons” since 1989)

1955 [52] Janice Dickinson, Brooklyn NY, TV personality (“The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency” since 2006, “America’s Next Top Model” 2003-06)/self-proclaimed original supermodel

1959 [48] Joseph R Gannascoli, Brooklyn NY, TV actor (‘Vito Spatafore’ on “The Sopranos” 1999-2006)

1972 [35] Jaromir Jagr, Kladno, Czech Republic, NHL top 10 scorer (NY Rangers)

1976 [31] Brandon Boyd, Van Nuys CA, rock singer (Incubus-“Anna-Molly”, “Megalomaniac”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Gumdrop Day”, honoring the popular, gelatin-based candy which has been a favorite for decades. Nowadays, ‘Gummi’ candies, made from the same gelatin base, are the most popular gumdrop.

• “National Flag of Canada Day”, the 11th annual official celebration of Canada’s maple leaf flag. It was first unveiled on Parliament Hill in 1965, replacing the ‘Red Ensign’.
NET: http://www.pch.gc.ca/progs/cpsc-ccsp/sc-cs/df1_e.cfm

• “Random Acts of Kindness Week” designed to inspire people to practise kindness and to pass it on to others.
NET: http://www.actsofkindness.org/people/days.asp

• “Susan B Anthony Day”, honoring the 1820 birth of one of the first women’s rights advocates, and the face on the first US dollar-coin that bombed.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2004 [03] “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” starring Ty Pennington debuts on ABC-TV

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1907 [100] “Happy Birthday to You” is copyrighted by Patty & Mildred Hill (so Happy Birthday to “Happy Birthday” … the world’s most sung song!)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1903 [104] 1st ‘Teddy Bear’ introduced by Morris & Rose Michtom (named after US President Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Second Honeymoon Weekend
[Sat] Chinese New Year
[Sat] East Coast Music Awards (Halifax)
[Mon] Family Day (Alberta)
[Mon] Rose Monday
[Mon] Bun Day
[Mon] President’s Day
[Tues] Shrove Tuesday / Pancake Day / Mardi Gras
This Week Is … International Flirting Week
This Month Is … Pet Dental Health Month

BULL’S BITS

ACTUAL TABLOID HEADLINES:
• “Scientist Invents ‘Reverse Lightbulb’ That Makes Room Darker!”
• “Publishers Challenge TV with New ‘High-Definition Books’!”
• “Security Blanket Actually Saves Child’s Life!”
• “MRI Confirms Child Laughing on the Inside!”
• “Gravy Train Derails!”

BS BEER DRINKER’S TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE:
• Symptom: Beer is unusually pale and tasteless. Cause: Glass empty. Remedy: Get someone to buy you another beer.
• Symptom: Beer tasteless and front of your shirt is wet. Cause: Mouth not open or glass applied to wrong part of face. Remedy: Retire to nearest restroom and practise in mirror.
• Symptom: Feet cold and wet. Cause: Glass being held at incorrect angle. Remedy: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

TRUTH OR BS?
Which of the following statements are true and which are just a load of codswallop?
• When it comes to running, humans are among the slowest creatures on Earth. [BS. Actually, over long distances, the human can outrun just about any other animal on the planet, according to “Discover” magazine.]
• Paul McCartney owns the rights to the “I Love Lucy” TV theme. [TRUE. He’s more than willing to part with the rights to “I Love Heather”, however.]
• Hot water is heavier than cold water. [Even though it’s a common belief, it’s technically BS. Deakin University physicist Dr Tom McRae says water warmer than 8 degrees C (46 F) may be less dense than cooler water but it still weighs the same.]
• Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete. [TRUE. Unfortunately it’s your shin that usually gets snapped like a wishbone.]
• Cat urine glows under a ‘black light’. [TRUE. Lots of things do ... including your tightie whities.]
• Tobacco is added to rum to make it brown. [BS. Caramel is used to give it its color.]
• Each member of the rock band Queen was a college graduate. [TRUE. By the way they keep re-packaging the same old product, it seems like they majored in marketing.]

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Most Canadians participate in 4 or 5 of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Loyalty programs (Air Miles, PC Points, Maximum Card, etc).

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Almost all Americans (93%) do THIS at least once-a-month.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Eat pizza.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A person’s knowledge can never outweigh their experience.


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