Tuesday, February 6, 2007        Edition: #3461
Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY the 2007 “Juno Awards” nominees will be announced at a Toronto media conference (awards handed out APRIL 1st in Saskatoon) . . . TONIGHT 80-year-old acid-tongued stand-up comedian Don Rickles makes a rare TV appearance, guest-starring in an episode of “The Unit” (FOX) . . . Back in 1980, the movie “Xanadu” starring Olivia Newton-John wasn’t much of a hit, but someone’s decided it’ll make a great Broadway musical anyway, so it’s opening THIS SPRING with Tony Award-winner Jane Krakowski likely to star (the movie soundtrack featuring Newton-John, ELO, the Tubes & others WAS a hit, going double-platinum) . . . The Walt Disney Co, the only major studio to allow its films to be distributed via iTunes, reports that it has already sold 1.3 million movie downloads since they became available in OCTOBER (the future is now) . . . Just days after splitting with 38-year-old pop pixie Kylie Minogue, 41-year-old French actor Olivier Martinez is reportedly back on the Hollywood dating scene with 32-year-old actress Penelope Cruz (remember this guy from the movie “Unfaithful”? – type-casting) . . . A new reality TV show called “The Golden Cage” is in the works (ABC) based on a Dutch series in which contestants live like millionaires in a luxury mansion, only being allowed visitors or time away by winning competitions (like “Big Brother” only open-ended – it could last years) . . . And after smoking 5 packs a day for his role as chain-smoking bondsman ‘Jack Dupree’ in “Smokin’ Aces”, 34-year-old actor Ben Affleck confirms that he’s finally quit smoking (after 100 coffin nails a day, he’s lucky he didn’t quit living!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Fall Out Boy – TODAY as a promotional gimmick for their new album “Infinity on High”, they’ll play shows in NYC, Chicago & LA in the course of 24 hours, all of which will be filmed by MTV.
•  KT Tunstall – The Scottish singer/songwriter may not be able to fly in for the Grammy Awards as scheduled because she’s battling a kidney infection. She’s nominated for ‘Best Female Pop Vocal’.
• Jewel – THIS SEASON’s co-host of TV’s “Nashville Star” is gearing up for her first country album. She claims she’s been writing country songs since she was 16. Or at least since her pop career tanked.
• Justin Timberlake – He tells the new issue of “Entertainment Weekly” that he was high on marijuana when he made that weepy emotional appearance on Ashton Kutcher’s prank show “Punk’d” back in 2003. Now he doesn’t do it anymore … he says.
• Keane – TODAY the Brit band plays the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Taking Back Sunday – TONIGHT they guest on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Also out on CD TODAY: Barenaked Ladies’ “Barenaked Ladies Are Men”; Monty Python’s vintage collections “Monty Python’s Previous Record” & “Another Monty Python Record”; “MusiCares Tribute to Brian Wilson”; and Yoko Ono’s aptly named “Yes I’m a Witch”.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Flags of Our Fathers” ( War Drama ): The story behind the famous World War II photo that depicts 6 servicemen raising the US flag on Iwo Jima February 23, 1945. Stars Ryan Phillippe (“Crash”), Adam Beach (Ashem MB), Paul Walker (“The Fast & the Furious”), and Barry Pepper (Campbell River BC). ‘Iwo Jima’ shots were actually filmed in Iceland. Director Clint Eastwood has been Oscar-nominated for the follow-up film, “Letters from Iwo Jima”, told from the Japanese perspective.
• “Flicka” ( Family Drama ): In this contemporary adaptation of Mary O’Hara’s novel “My Friend Flicka”, Tim McGraw plays a father who insists his teen daughter plan for college. Alison Lohman plays the 16-year-old who’d rather fulfill her family legacy by working on her dad’s ranch in Wyoming. To prove her ability, she corrals a wild mustang and sets out to make it into a riding horse. Partially shot in New Zealand.
• “The Grudge 2” ( Horror Thriller ): A group of previously unrelated people come together in Japan in an attempt to save their lives by unlocking the secret to a dark force. Amber Tamblyn stars as a young woman who’s traveled to Tokyo to rescue her hospitalized sister (Sarah Michelle Gellar from the original film). Co-stars Jennifer Beals (“The L Word”), and Vancouver-born actor Edison Chen.
• “Hollywoodland” ( Period Drama ): Ben Affleck stars in the story of the strange death of actor George Reeves, known to an entire generation as TV’s “Superman”. Adrien Brody plays a private detective investigating the case in 1950s Hollywood. Diane Lane & Bob Hoskins co-star. The title comes from the famous ‘Hollywood’ sign which originally read ‘Hollywoodland’, promoting a real estate project. Partially shot in Toronto and Oakville ON.
• “Running With Scissors” ( Dramedy ): Joseph Cross plays the son of an alcoholic father (Alec Baldwin) & an unstable mother (Annette Bening) who’s handed over to his mom’s therapist (Brian Cox) to spend his adolescent years in a bizarre extended family. Co-stars Gwyneth Paltrow, Jill Clayburgh, Joseph Fiennes, Evan Rachel Wood & others.
• Also on DVD TODAY: Disney’s straight-to-video “Cinderella III: A Twist in Time”; “Elmo’s World: What Makes You Happy?”; and “Romeo + Juliet: Music Edition”, director Baz Luhrmann’s post-modern version of Shakespeare’s classic love story.

NEW CELL SMELL:
The mobile phone industry is gearing up to add scents to its products. Sony already combines vanilla with orange in its SonyStyle stores but it’s also looking to launch a new phone in Japan that gives off a fragrance designed to calm users. Samsung, meanwhile, uses honeydew melon in its stores, while LG Electronics, its Korean competitor, has added a chocolate fragrance to the packaging for its ‘Chocolate’ line of cellphones. (What aroma would you pick for your phone – Lemon? Lavender? Tuna?)
– PA News

BS LAW & DISORDER:
• In New York state, 5 burglars who ransacked a house in Lancaster have been charged with animal cruelty for placing the owners’ pet Chihuahua … in the freezer. It seems the gang became annoyed by the yappy little mutt’s barking so they resorted to the odd method of silencing it. Police rescued ‘Roxy’ within a few hours. She’s fine, but still blowing on her paws.
• In Belgium, a 24-year-old escaped convict in Ghent who tried to give himself up was turned away from Verviers Prison … for not having an identity card. Unbelievably, the warden told him to come back later with proper ID. So he did.
• In Mexico, a Ciudad Juarez postal worker has been arrested after cops found undelivered mail in his house … like about 11 tons of it. It seems he’d hoarded the 1,100 bags filled with letters dating back to 1999 in hopes of finding money. Authorities promise the mail will now be sent on to its destination.
• In Italy, an attempt to reduce the 26,000 skiing accidents that occur on Italian slopes every year has ski resorts now installing … speed cameras. Anyone going too fast or being reckless faces fines of up to $1,500 levied by the Italian Alpine Police.

WIG OUT IS A SELL-OUT:
That 6-minute video entitled “Bride Has Massive Hair Wig Out” which has become phenomenally popular on YouTube has been exposed as … an ad campaign. The video’s producer, Robbie McNamara, calls his creation a ‘Net Seed’, planted online and nurtured into growth, which is far more interesting and entertaining than regular advertising. Toronto-based Capital C Communications commissioned the work as publicity for Sunsilk hair products, which wanted the term ‘wig-out’ highlighted before an upcoming, more traditional ad campaign. The ‘bride’ who has a meltdown in the video is actually 22-year-old Toronto university student Jodi Behan. (Soon advertising, news, and reality will all be one big stew served up electronically.)
– CTV News

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• The most massive gold rush in Brazil since the 1980s has been ignited by … an Internet posting. Ever since a math teacher in the remote town of Eldorado do Juma posted online stories about successful gold miners in the area, as many as 10,000 speculators have swarmed the local rain forest and have been tearing it apart in their frantic search for gold.
• In order to test her bank’s security, a woman in Melbourne, Australia applied for a credit card … for her cat ‘Messiah’. Katherine Campbell was shocked to promptly receive a letter of acceptance and a credit card addressed to ‘Messiah Campbell’, with a credit limit of $4,000!
• Philadelphia PA councilman Jim Kenney is proposing several environmentally friendly city projects, including making sidewalks out of … rubber. He claims sidewalks made from recycled tires will not crack and will last longer than concrete. He also suggests they would cut down on the number of accidents, and the resulting lawsuits, caused by slips-and-falls.

GANG WRITING:
Students at De Montfort University in Leicester [LESS-tuhr], England have teamed up with Penguin Books to create the very first ‘wiki-novel’, a work of fiction that can be added to by anyone, much like the online encyclopedia Wikipedia.  After just a few days, the novel “A Million Penguins” is already into its 7th chapter. Wannabe writers worldwide have until the end of the month to make a contribution.
NET: http://www.amillionpenguins.com
– “The Observer”

NEW BS GIZMOS & GADGETS:
• That cup of coffee just not getting it done anymore? How about a ‘Buzz Doughnut’ or a ‘Buzzed Bagel’? Durham NC molecular scientist Dr Robert Bohannon says he’s developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods, without the bitter taste of caffeine. Each piece of pastry is the equivalent of about 2 cups of coffee. (And then when you dunk it …)
– “Boston Globe”
• Japanese vehicle developer Yoshio Tanaoka has created a 2-seater electric car that can be fuelled from a home power outlet. The ‘Girasole’ (‘Sunflower’ in Italian) maxes out at about 65 km/hr (40 mph) and is said to be very, very quiet. So quiet, in fact, it comes equipped with the clip-clop sound of horses’ hooves to alert pedestrians. One problem with this hi-tech transport – it retails for about $2.2-million. But Japanese owners can claim a $6,600 subsidy from the government under an environmental protection clause.
– Reuters

FOR THE RECORD:
An 80-year-old Chinese man finally decided that after 26 years it was finally time … to wash his hair. It took 12 friends & relatives from his village of Red Flag some 5 hours to clean the matted, hardened block of locks plus his 5-foot-long beard. The amateur team of stylists say they will seek accreditation for some sort of record. (And treatment for terminal ‘cooties’.)
– “NY Post”

DID YOU KNOW?
• The average person’s heart beats 36 million times a year.
• The average human lifespan is approximately 650,000 hours.
• Future trivia: the archaic ‘VHS’ stood for Video Home System.
– AskMen.com

HE SAID IT:
“I’ve fantasized about Barbra Streisand and I saw Sophia Loren at a restaurant a couple years ago and I thought, ‘Wow, I’d still go there.’”
– “Lost” star Josh Holloway, who apparently has a creepy thing for much older women.

THE BULL SHEET 02.06.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1917 [90] Zsa Zsa Gabor (Sári Gábor), Budapest, Hungary, Hollywood actress/socialite best known for being famous (an earlier version of Paris Hilton, who is her half-great-great niece)/married 9 times (including Conrad Hilton)/notoriously slapped a Beverly Hills cop after he pulled her over for a traffic violation (1989)

1950 [57] Natalie Cole, LA CA, pop singer (“Angel On My Shoulder”, “Unforgettable”) who’s won 6 Grammy Awards/daughter of late crooner Nat King Cole

1962 [45] Axl Rose (William Bruce Rose Jr), Lafayette IN, rock singer (Guns N Roses-“November Rain”, “Sweet Child O’ Mine”)  FACTOID: March 6th is now the tentative release date for GNR’s “Chinese Democracy” album, which has been ‘coming out soon’ for about 10 years.

1962 [45] Richie McDonald, Mesquite TX, country singer (Lonestar-“Mountains”, “Mr Mom’”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Laugh & Grow Rich Day”, a reminder to employers that workers are more effective, tend to remember things better, and are more likely to stay in the same job when laughter abounds!

• “Pay-A-Compliment Day”, a day to focus on telling people how much we appreciate their presence in our lives.

• “Reggae Day”, in celebration of the spirit of the music made popular worldwide by Bob Marley who was born on this day in 1945. (Died May 11, 1981.)

• “Waitangi Day” in New Zealand, commemorating the signing of a treaty in 1840 by a group of Maori chiefs and the British Government. (Likely a day of mourning for the aboriginals.)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [04] ABC-TV’s “20/20″ features British TV documentary “Living with Michael Jackson” in which he admits he has ‘sleepovers’ with young boys

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1932 [75] 1st ‘Olympic Dogsled Race’ as Canada and US participate in demonstration sport at Lake Placid NY (sure, the one event we could win and they discontinue it!)

1935 [72] All-time best-selling board game ‘Monopoly’ is 1st marketed, after inventor Charles Darrow sells it to Parker Bros for a royalty

1948 [59] Barbara Ann Scott wins our country’s 1st-ever gold medal in figure skating at the Winter Olympics in St Moritz, Switzerland (she becomes known as ‘Canada’s Sweetheart’)

1952 [55] Queen Elizabeth II ascends to the British throne (thereby assuring Helen Mirren of an Academy Award)

1971 [36] 1st golf game on the Moon (NASA astronaut Alan Shepard uses 6-iron, whiffing on the first swing but finally driving 3 golf balls several hundred yards into the vacuum of space)

2006 [01] Stephen Harper is sworn in as Canada’s 22nd Prime Minister as the Conservatives officially take over power in Ottawa

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1933 [74] Pacific hurricane generates record 112-foot wave (surf’s up – waaaayyyyy up!)

1989 [18] Largest crowd ever assembled as 15 million attend Hindu “Feast of Kumbh Mela” at Allahabad, India (unfortunately there are only 3 port-a-johns)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] “Lost” returns (ABC)
[Wed] Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day
[Wed] Dump Your Significant Jerk Day
[Wed] Girls & Women in Sports Day
[Thurs] “Survivor: Fiji” premieres (CBS)
[Sun] 49th Grammy Awards (LA)
This Week Is … Salute to Hospitalized Veterans Week
This Month Is … International Boost Self Esteem Month

BULL’S BITS

LESS POPULAR KIDS’ BOOKS:
Thanks to pre-sales, ”Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows” is already the #1 best-seller, more than 5 months before it comes out. These titles, however, aren’t doing as well …
• “Charlotte’s Web of Lies & Deceit”
• “Alice’s Adventures in Caesar’s Palace Hotel & Casino”
• “The Little Train Who Couldn’t, But It’s Okay Because It Happens to Every Train Once in Awhile”
• “Charlie and the Third World Nike Factory”
• “The Dumpster Divin’ Kids”
• “Little Red in Da Hood”
• “Wash Your Hands or Die of Anthrax”
• “The Adventures of Grandma Crazy Diapers!”
• “Ali Baba & the 1,000 Arab Stereotypes”
• “Pus in Boots”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
True love is when you spend $5,000 for an operation on a $50-dog.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: In a male-female conversation, men are responsible for 76% of THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Interruptions.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A friend walks in when everyone else walks out.


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