February 27 2020

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Thursday, February 27, 2020 – Edition: #6643

Bully For You!

★ Saturday Night Live’s Pete Davidson says he wants to leave the show because he’s tired of being the butt of so many jokes. In what was billed as “an honest conversation” with radio DJ Charlamagne Tha God, Davidson said: “I personally think I should be done with that show because they make fun of me on it.” He went on to say that he has “a weird feeling in that building where I don’t know whose team they’re playing for … if I’m the joke, or if I’m in on the joke.” Davidson joined SNL in 2014 at the age of 20. He was one of the youngest ever cast members ever to join the series.
★ Monday they were mourning. By Tuesday, they were trying to cash in. Several people who attended the Kobe Bryant memorial at Staples Center in LA are selling souvenir items from the event … from ticket stubs, program booklets, memorial pins, shirts and other items…. and the asking price is in the THOUSANDS of dollars. One seller listed an official Kobe shirt (size XL) from the memorial — and after receiving 76 bids, it sold for $2,025. Some fans flew from around the country to be at the event — and they could be selling the giveaways to help offset the travel costs.
★ Production in Italy on Tom Cruise’s upcoming “Mission: Impossible 7” has been halted after a number of people in the county have been diagnosed with the coronavirus. The movie was set to film in Venice for three weeks, but a rapid increase in the number of people with the virus across the northern part of Italy has caused Paramount Pictures to pause production. Cruise was not in the country at the time.
★ ABC is opening up the playing field of love to senior citizens. During Monday night’s episode of “The Bachelor,” ABC aired a casting call for people over the age of 65 who are looking for love. Usually, The Bachelor sticks to contestants in their twenties and early thirties. Very few other details have been released in regards to the new senior-citizen spinoff.
(Let’s hope there aren’t too many stairs inside the Bachelor mansion!)


• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Mark Wahlberg, Storm Reid, Goody Grace featuring blink-182
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): John Mulaney, Bad Bunny
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Turturro, KALEO
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Elisabeth Moss, Richard E. Grant, Mt. Joy, Michel’Le Baptiste
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Alison Brie, Will Forte, Doug Smith
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Liza Treyger, Russell Peters, Andrew Santino
• “Conan” (TBS): Steve Coogan
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Huey Lewis, Rachel Dratch
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Edie Falco
• “The Talk” (CBS): Oprah Winfrey
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kyle MacLachlan, Andrew Rea, Static & Ben El featuring Pitbull
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Usher
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Elisabeth Moss, Thomas Sadoski
• “Live PD: Wanted” (A&E): Season 2 premiere. Law enforcement agencies across the country receive assistance tracking down fugitives; includes updated stories of the fugitives the “Live PD” audience has already helped capture.

• Justin Bieber – What does he have in common with Elvis? They’re the youngest musicians to earn seven #1 albums on the Billboard Hot 200 chart. On Sunday, Bieber became the youngest at age 25 with his album “Changes,” breaking the record Presley set nearly six decades ago at age 26. (Bieber turns 26 on March 1.)
• Jonas Brothers – Nick Jonas announced on NBC’s “Today” that the group has been working on a new album with Ryan Tedder, and details, including a track list, will be announced “in the next couple weeks”.
• Kelly Clarkson — will return as host of the Billboard Music Awards. She’ll be in charge of proceedings for the third consecutive year, when the awards show returns to Las Vegas’ MGM Grand Garden Arena on April 29. In 2019, she kicked off the show with a musical medley of the year’s biggest hits.
• Queen —  A street in the London suburb where Freddie Mercury lived as a teenager was renamed “Freddie Mercury Close” on Monday at a ceremony attended by the late Queen frontman’s sister. Their family moved to Feltham in west London after fleeing the revolution in Zanzibar in 1964.
• Diane Warren – The legendary songwriter will produce a musical drama based on her music. The Songwriters Hall of Fame member’s most famous hits include ‘Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now’ by Starship, ‘I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing’ by Aerosmith, Cher’s ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’ and ‘How Do I Live’ by LeAnn Rimes.
• Santana – have announced a joint summer tour with Earth, Wind and Fire. It will begin in Chula Vista, California, on June 19th, and wrap in Tampa, FL on Aug 29. The tour includes a stop at the original site of Woodstock (now Bethel Woods Center for the Arts) on August 23rd, where Santana performed more than 50 years ago.
• Melissa Etheridge – says her next album will be ”reflective of everything”. She likes to document what is happening with her life through her music. In her 20s and 30s, that was about finding love and “even loving myself”, but now, she says she is “very, very happy in my relationship and I’m not heartbroken. So the songs…are personal still but it’s more of a heartbreak for my country or my world or the people who are lost.”
• Carrie Underwood — thinks there is a lack of women in country music because “songwriters aren’t writing for women.” She says that professional songwriters are “giving the consumers what they want, which is dude songs”. Underwood says it’s hard even for her to find good songs to record.
• Jason Aldean — surprised fans at his Knoxville, TN concert on Sat. with an epic Kane Brown collaboration. Aldean was performing ‘Dirt Road Anthem’ when Brown jumped on stage to perform the rap verse of the song. Video here:  https://tinyurl.com/wdym7x3

Any self-respecting internet addict knows that “Gif” is pronounced with the ‘J’ sound. Like the peanut butter. Or maybe not. Although the inventor of the has word said it was meant to be pronounced “Jif”, either pronunciation is now considered acceptable. Not so fast, say the makers of “Jif” peanut butter. The peanut butter brand, has partnered with Giphy (the online GIF database) to, according to them, “put a lid on this decade-long debate and prove there is only one Jif… it’s creamy, delicious peanut butter, not a looping picture you can send to make friends and family laugh.” The company has created a limited run of collectible tongue-in-cheek specially labeled jars that say “Gif” right on the label. The jars are being sold on Amazon for $9.99. By the way, National Peanut Butter Lover’s Day is on Sunday.
(It’s “Jif”! Take that, Skippy!)
(What we need next is a company that sounds like “meme”!)
(At $9.99, it’s definitely not a “Gift”!)

Beginning this Sunday, Aussies will not only need to be on the lookout for distracted drivers, they’ll need to make sure they don’t cave to the temptation to grab their own phones, because about 10 “mobile phone detection cameras” will be switched on in the state of New South Wales. The number will grow to 45 fixed and mobile cameras by 2023, and drivers won’t know where they are. The overhead devices use artificial intelligence to determine if drivers have something in their hand. The image of the offending motorists is then reviewed by a person, who determines if a fine should be issued. Those caught on candid cameras will be subject to a $344 fine — $457 in a school zone – plus five demerit points. This follows a trial of the technology earlier this year that caught more than 100,000 drivers illegally using their cell phone. Officials believe the cameras could prevent about 100 fatal and serious injury crashes over the next five years.
(So, how long before I can buy a “Mobile Phone Detection Camera” detector?)
(And the worst thing is, if you spot one of these things, you can’t really text your buddy to let him know!)
(Forget red light cameras, now you have to worry about being caught red-handed!)
-AP, 7News

In a discovery which will definitely turn the zoological sciences upside down, scientists have discovered an animal which does not breathe. According to a study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, the humble Myxozoa, a microscopic parasite, possesses none of the mitochondria required for biological respiration. How is it that a living thing can survive without breathing? We’re not sure. But they believe that Myxozoa have managed to overcome its need for respiration over millions of years of evolution. It has gone through what it known as “evolutionary downsizing”, where organisms simplify their genetic structure. Scientists theorize that over time, the parasite lost its tissue, nerve cells, muscles…and finally the ability to breathe, partially because they never had much need for them to begin with.
(Maybe they’re just stuffed up?)
(That would sure come in handy when you’re in the dentist’s chair!)
(Apparently they’ve also lost their ability to snore!)

✗ Booyah:  Goes back to 1990 when an ESPN sportscaster made it popular by using it to express his joy over touchdowns and homeruns and stuff. (A nice way of saying “In your face!”)
✗ Photobomb:  Thought to have been first recognized in a 2008 Urban Dictionary entry. (You probably saw this one coming…unlike a photobomb!)
✗ Boop:  Describes the noise that we make when we touch the nose of something cute…often a pet. The earliest example of it seems to be a 1992 “Simpsons” episode when Bart places a stamp on baby Lisa’s nose before mailing her away: “Boop!”
✗ Foodie:  First appeared in New York magazine in 1980. Now there are more than 140 million Insta posts alone which are associated with the hashtag #foodie.
✗ Infomercial:  Goes back to the early ‘80s when they became popular on American TV. (“But wait, there’s more!”)
✗ Blog:  Short for “weblog”, the term began to be used in the late 1990s in the way that it is used now. (Is this still a thing…or is everybody podcasting?)
✗ Emo:  This word from the 1980s can be used either to describe a form of music, or as an adjective to describe those who listen to it. (Or to describe their hairstyle!)
✗ Adulting:  Popular with millennials, this word was nominated for word of the year in 2016 by Oxford Dictionary.
✗ Cougar:  Yes, it has been a word for centuries, but it’s only been used to describe an older woman who dates younger men since around 1999. (Thanks to Madonna?)

A New Jersey man, David Calwell, was freaking out last month when his fiancée went into labor 10 weeks early. A nurse named Lissa McGowan helped calm him down. After baby Zayne was born, David started looking at old photos of himself as a baby, because he was also a preemie – and realized Lissa was the same nurse who took care of HIM as an infant in 1986.


1940 [80] Howard Hessman, Lebanon OR, TV actor (Dr. Johnny Fever on “WKRP in Cincinnati”) 1978-82

1954 [66] Neal Schon, Tinker Air Force Base OK, classic rock guitarist (Journey-‘Don’t Stop Believin’, Bad English-‘When I See You Smile’, Santana)/Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 2017

1959 [61] Johnny Van Zant, Jacksonville FL, classic rock singer (became Lynyrd Skynyrd’s lead singer when the band reunited in 1987, 10 years after the plane crash that killed his brother, singer Ronnie Van Zant, and other band members)

1971 [49] Rozonda ‘Chilli’ Thomas, Atlanta GA, R&B/pop singer (TLC-‘Waterfalls’, ‘No Scrubs’)

1980 [40] Chelsea Clinton, Little Rock AK, Clinton Foundation board member/daughter of Bill & Hillary Clinton

1981 [39] Josh Groban, LA CA, pop singer/operatic baritone (‘You Raise Me Up’, ‘To Where You Are’)

1983 [37] Kate Mara, Bedford NY, movie actress (“Fantastic Four”)/TV actress (“House of Cards” 2013-16)

• “Chili Day”, observed annually on the last Thursday of February. It’s a great excuse to put together a perfect pot of spicy chili. What’s your secret ingredient?

• “Anosmia Awareness Day” [an-OHZ-me-uh], a day to spread awareness about the loss of the sense of smell. (Which would have come in very handy here in the studio this morning…)

• “International Polar Bear Day”, declared by non-profit conservation group Polar Bears International to heighten awareness of the declining population of the big white guys of the Far North.

• “Kahlua Day”, celebrating the coffee-flavored liqueur from Mexico that contains rum, corn syrup, and vanilla bean. Mix it with milk and – voila! – a ‘brown cow’.

• “No Brainer Day”, when we’re encouraged to slack off. Any activity attempted should be something done without serious thought … a ‘no brainer’ activity. (Like this show, for instance.)

• “National Retro Day”, swoop the hair into a mile-high beehive or strut those eight-inch bell bottoms. Can you maximize the curls for a stellar Afro? Don’t hesitate to break out the old roller skates and see if you still have those mad skills.

• “Strawberry Day”, today we pay homage to one of the most popular fruits in the world. Strawberries are the first fruit to ripen every year, so they are often called the “taste of spring.” The bright red juicy berries are both delicious and incredibly good for you. Each bite is packed with vitamins, antioxidants, and fiber. BS FUN FACT: The average strawberry has 200 seeds.

[Fri] STAND UP to Bullying Day
[Fri] Tooth Fairy Day
[Sat] Bachelor’s Day
[Sat] Leap Day

2005 [15] Jamie Foxx wins a ‘Best Actor’ Oscar for his portrayal of Ray Charles in the movie “Ray”

2015 [05] Actor, director, photographer, and writer Leonard Nimoy, most popularly known as ‘Dr Spock’ on “Star Trek”, dies at age 83 from Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease

1980 [40] Michael Jackson wins the first of his 13 Grammy Awards: Best R&B Performance for ‘Don’t Stop ’Til You Get Enough’.

2018 [02] Barbra Streisand reveals she has cloned her Coton du Tulear dog twice, resulting in “Miss Violet” and “Miss Scarlett”.

1827 [193] First ‘Mardi Gras’ celebration in New Orleans LA (and first co-ed flashes to get a cheap string of beads)

1988 [32] ‘Longest Tandem Bicycle’ is unveiled in New Zealand, measuring 72.96 ft and weighing 340 lbs


✓ To qualify as a hill, a mound of earth must be more than 99 and less than 1,000 feet high.
✓ Albert Einstein never memorized his home phone number.
✓ Squirrels can climb trees faster than they can run on the ground.
✓ There are 71 streets in Atlanta with the word “Peachtree” in the name.
✓ The #1 cause of burglar alarm activation: Owner error. (Burglaries are 7th)
✓ (***CAUTION***) A ‘face-off’ in hockey was originally called a ‘puck-off’.

• A Midsummer Night’s DM
• MacBook
• The Merchant of Venti
• As if You Like it
• Two Gentlemen of iPhona
• Beyond Meat HAMlet.
• Much Ado About Catfishing
• OtHELLno
• To Be or Not to Be Butthurt
• Romeo & Student Debt

Best of BS . . .

• “It isn’t pizza unless it has pineapple on it.”
• “No offense, but…”
• “Toilet paper should go (yadda yadda yadda…)”
• “Don’t you think you should be eating salad?”
• “Taylor Swift only writes songs about her ex-boyfriends.”
• “Star Wars, Star Trek, same thing.”
• “Calm down.”
• “Soccer sucks.”
• “My dog is cuter than your dog.”
• “Hey! You guys wanna fight?”
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

The forecast shows a 100% chance of embarrassment:  https://tinyurl.com/tmmlqca

If history repeats itself, I am SO getting a dinosaur!

What is the weirdest thing you have seen someone eat with ketchup? Survey says: Fried chicken.

Question:  32% of men wear THIS because they believe it improves their appearance. What is it?
Answer:  Hairspray

One day, or day one. You decide.


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