Friday, February 21, 2020 – Edition: #6639
Here, Have Another Sheetload!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Ben Affleck says he was told that he would drink himself to death if he played Batman again. Affleck has been opening up about how his struggles with sobriety affected his career. He was set to direct and act in “The Batman” after having played the DC hero in both “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” and “Justice League”. Affleck said: “I showed somebody The Batman script. They said, ‘I think the script is good. I also think you’ll drink yourself to death if you go through what you just went though again.” The Batman will come out in 2021, with Robert Pattinson in the title role.
★ “The Bachelor” is going for the gold ahead of the summer Olympics. Following their 2018 Bachelor Winter Games debut, Bachelor Nation is adding a summer version as the Tokyo Olympics prepare to kick off on July 24th. ABC Senior VP Rob Mills said: “It’ll be Bachelorette Summer Games…It’s going to be so fun seeing these people in these great, you know, track and field and swimming. … This is a real Olympics.”
(I’m pretty sure he’s not allowed to say that!)
★ Harrison Ford has teased Indiana Jones fans by revealing they are “very close to being able to begin to start” work on the fifth instalment of the blockbuster action franchise. While plans for another Indiana Jones movie were put on hold after script delays forced bosses at production company Lucasfilm to ditch initial plans for a 2020 release, it was confirmed earlier this year that 77-year-old Ford will be reprising his role as the adventurous archaeologist for a new movie.
★ Paul Rudd and Will Ferrell will reunite for a new limited TV series called “The Shrink Next Door”. They will play a patient and therapist, respectively. Ferrell will play a patient of his long-time therapist Rudd, who begins to take over his life in increasingly intrusive ways — including moving into his home and taking over his family business. Their relationship soon devolves into one filled with manipulation, power grabs, and dysfunction in a tale inspired by true events.
★ Dr. Phil will be honored with the 2,688th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today. Dr. Phil McGraw, one of the most well-known and trusted mental health professionals in the world, is the host of TV’s #1 daytime talk show, Dr. Phil, now in its 18th season.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Harrison Ford, “Science Bob” Pflugfelder, Wiz Khalifa, Ty Dolla $ign, Lil Yachty & Sueco the Child (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Matthew McConaughey, Hugh Grant, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley McBryde (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski, a performance by the Broadway cast of “Tina: The Tina Turner Musical” (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Billy Porter, Sen. Amy Klobuchar, Caitlyn Smith (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Katie Hill, Storm Reid, guest co-host Michael Eric Dyson
• “The Talk” (CBS): Carol Kane
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Monica Mangin
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Lauren Graham, the cast of “Impractical Jokers”, Roy Choi, Lilly Tartikoff, Dr. Dennis Slamon
• “Fresh Off the Boat” (ABC): Season 6 finale
• “51st NAACP Image Awards” (BET): Celebrating the achievements and performances of people of color in the arts and those who promote social justice through their creative ventures.
• “Love In Store” (HALLMARK): Sparks fly between a home shopping host and her rival when they compete for a promotion.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Adam Driver with musical guest Halsey
• “The Walking Dead” (AMC): Season 10 returns
• “Better Call Saul” (AMC): Season 5 premiere
• “The Rookie” (ABC): Season 2 returns
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Lizzo – says she believes the reason she is so popular these days is because she “spreads kindness and light”. She said: “We have seen some really dark days recently and I just want to be a part of that light.” She recently vowed to make people “dance and smile” after a “rough start” to 2020.
• Justin Bieber – now says he was ”being stupid” when he challenged Tom Cruise to a fight. In June, he tweeted a fist-fight challenge to the 57-year-old – but this week, Bieber told James Corden: ”I don’t know [what I was doing]. I was just being stupid, to be honest.”
• Peter Frampton – His memoir “Do You Feel Like I Do?”, will be released on October 20. The book is described in a press release as “the incredible story of Peter Frampton’s positively resilient life and career told in his own words for the first time.”
• Hole — Courtney Love will reunite with bassist Melissa Auf der Maur to perform at a benefit concert called “Bans Off My Body” on March 14 to support Planned Parenthood of Greater New York.
• Whitney Houston — A controversial Whitney Houston hologram performed on a British talk show on Wednesday morning ahead of its U.K. tour. Houston, who died in 2012, appeared in digital form accompanied by real live backing singers performing ‘Greatest Love of All’. Many fans have called the hologram tour disrespectful.
• Kim Mitchell – will be inducted into the Canadian Songwriters Hall of Fame. He will be honoured in a presentation May 21 in Toronto and will be joined by friend Ed Robertson of Barenaked Ladies to perform on stage.
• Rod Stewart – reunited with the surviving members of the Faces to close the show at Tuesday night’s Brit Awards in London. Stewart, Ronnie Wood and Kenney Jones’ performance of their classic song ‘Stay With Me’ came after Stewart delivered ‘I Don’t Want to Talk About It’ with an orchestral backing.
• Meghan Patrick – She and City and Colour have been announced among the final phase of performers at The 2020 Juno Award Broadcast on March 15. The awards, hosted by Alessia Cara, will also feature performances by Daniel Caesar, Lennon Stella, The Glorious Sons and Tory Lanez, along with host Cara. And, in her first appearance at The Juno Awards since 2013, Anne Murray will induct Jann Arden into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame.
• John Rich – the “Rich” half of “Big & Rich” wants to inspire others to follow their dreams with his new show, “The Pursuit! with John Rich”, which premiered this week. It follows Rich as he interviews people who have achieved success in their fields.
• Luke Bryan – The ‘Drink A Beer’ singer announced his very own beer, “Two Lane American Golden Lager”, on Wednesday. He named it Two Lane because “it’s perfect for the kind of places you’ll find at the end of a two-lane road: fishing holes, campsites, dive bars — places where you and your friends can really feel at home.”
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Call of the Wild” (PG-Action/Adventure): Buck the dog’s blissful domestic life is turned upside down when he is uprooted from his California home and transplanted to the Alaskan Yukon during the Gold Rush of the 1890s. As the rookie on a mail delivery dog sled team–and later its leader–Buck experiences the adventure of a lifetime, ultimately finding his true place in the world. (Karen Gillan, Harrison Ford)
• “Brahms: The Boy II” (PG-13, Horror/Mystery): Unaware of the terrifying history of Heelshire Mansion, a young family moves into a guest house on the estate where their young son soon makes an unsettling new friend, an eerily life-like doll he calls Brahms. (Katie Holmes, Owain Yeoman)
• “Emma.” (PG-Comedy/Drama–Limited Release): In 1800s England, a well-meaning but selfish young woman meddles in the love lives of her friends. (Anya Taylor-Joy, Bill Nighy)
• “The Night Clerk” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery–Limited Release): A young, socially challenged hotel clerk witnesses a murder in one of the rooms, but his suspicious actions land him as the lead detective’s number one suspect. (Helen Hunt, John Leguizamo)
PUTTING ON AN ADDITION:
Have you always wanted to be taller? In the past year, at least 30 men have met with orthopedic surgeon Dr. Kevin Debiparshad to have him saw through their perfectly healthy leg bones. At his “LimbplastX Institute” in Las Vegas, the good doctor cuts through patients’ femurs or tibias, forces the bones to separate with metal implants, and sends them on their way to heal. Once their bones grow back, the patient will be several inches taller. How much for this revolutionary procedure? Usually about $100,000. Although the procedure has existed for decades, most doctors who perform it do so for clinical, or medically-necessary reasons. This doctor compares the surgery to butt implants, nose jobs — and even, provocatively, gender reassignment surgery. He says that “cosmetic lengthening” can be done to increase one’s chances of landing a mate (or mates), to improve one’s success in their career, or simply to provide a confidence boost.
(Hey, if you can afford $100,00 to have your legs sawn apart, you don’t need any help with your career!)
(Yeah, 100 grand – PLUS the cost of replacing all your pants!)
(I have enough trouble putting my socks on as it is!)
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A Kansas man has created a website offering $25,000 to anyone who can help him to find a girlfriend. 47-year-old Jeff Gebhart says he grew tired of the “app-based dating stuff” so he created the site: datejeffg.com, where he offers up the $25K to anyone who can help him score a girlfriend. Yes, he has been in long-term relationships before, so it is possible that there is a mate out there for him. His site gives visitors three options to click on: 1) I May Be That Girl, 2) I Know A Girl, and 3) I Like App-Based Dating. (He couldn’t just put the 25K toward a Corvette and hope for the best, like everyone else?)
➢ A Utah man is facing charges after admitting to releasing rodents in at least three different hotels. Police say Ryan State would check in, sneak rodents like mice and hamsters along with him. Once in the room, he would release the rodents and then call staff and complain. He would point out the droppings and in some cases the rodents themselves, and ask to be exempt from paying for the accommodation. He is accused of scamming at least three hotels, although authorities believe he has scammed several more in the area. (No more Mr. Mice-guy for him!)
DID YOU KNOW?
According to science, people who read “Game of Thrones” and “Harry Potter” make better partners. A study published by researchers at the University of Oklahoma found that people who read fantasy fiction and sci-fi books “have more mature beliefs about romantic relationships than readers who gravitate toward suspense, romance, or even highbrow literature.” It also determined that sci-fi fans are “less likely to believe that disagreement is destructive” in a relationship and they are “less likely to support the belief that… partners cannot change.”
BS CHRONOMETER 02.21.20
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1955  Kelsey Grammar, St Thomas US Virgin Islands, TV actor (5 Emmy Awards-“Frasier” 1993-2004), “Cheers” 1984-93/movie actor (“X-Men: The Last Stand”)
1979  Tituss Burgess, Athens GA, TV actor (‘Titus Andromedon’ on “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” 2015-19)
1979  Jennifer Love Hewitt, Waco TX, TV actress (“The Client List” 2012-13, “Ghost Whisperer” 2005-10)/movie actress (“Garfield”, “I Know What You Did Last Summer”)
1979  Jordan Peele, New York City NY, comedian (“The Twilight Zone” since 2019, “Key and Peele” 2012-2015, “MADtv” 2003-2008)/director (“Get Out”, “Us”)
1987  Ellen Page, Halifax NS, movie actress (“Inception”, “Juno”)
1987  Ashley Greene, Jacksonville FL, movie actress (“Twilight” franchise)
1996  Sophie Turner, Northampton UK, TV actress (‘Sansa Stark’ on “Game of Thrones” 2011-17)
2002  Blanket Jackson (Prince Michael Jackson II), San Diego CA, (youngest child of the late pop legend Michael Jackson)
SATURDAY- Kyle MacLachlan (“Twin Peaks”) is 61; Paul Lieberstein (“The Office”) is 53; Clinton Kelly (“What Not to Wear”) is 51; James Blunt (‘You’re Beautiful’) is 46; Drew Barrymore (“Never Been Kissed”) is 45; Tom Higgenson (Plain White T’s) is 41
SUNDAY- Brad Whitford (Aerosmith) is 68; Josh Gad (“Frozen”) is 39; Emily Blunt (“Mary Poppins”) is 37; Aziz Ansari (“Parks & Recreation”) is 37; Dakota Fanning (“Twilight Saga”) is 26
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Card Reading Day”, a day to have your future foretold with tarot cards. (Or to go to the store and read a bunch of greeting cards…)
• “Single Tasking Day”, a day to focus on one project at a time. Studies show you’ll likely end up accomplishing more. (But good luck telling that to a multi-tasker!)
• “Sticky Bun Day”, an annual food holiday saluting the ooey-gooey buns you just can’t turn down (or let go of…)
• “UN International Mother Language Day”. (In school, Latin was always a real mother.)
• “National Caregivers Day”, is an opportunity to reflect on the meaning of our caring lives and to thank ourselves, not for being perfect, but for being the best caregivers we know how to be. (And to thank another caregiver, too!)
• “Be Humble Day”, Just for one day, try not to brag or to boast; and try not to talk about your success or accomplishments. Why? Because humility is a good thing. (And then tomorrow, you can brag about how humble you were!)
• “Cook a Sweet Potato Day”, And the best way to do that? Sweet badayda fries. Mmm!
• “Margarita Day”, Tequila, triple sec, lime juice, and ice are everything you’ll need to celebrate … well, that and some good friends. And a tropical beach wouldn’t hurt.
• “Walking the Dog Day”, But wait a minute, don’t you walk your dog just about every day? (So, we’re not talking about the yo-yo trick here?)
• “World Thinking Day”, an annual celebration of Girl Scouts/Girl Guides founders Lord & Lady Baden-Powell’s joint birthday. Scouts & Guides are encouraged to “think” of good deeds.
• “Curling is Cool Day”, celebrating the Winter sport of curling … basically a drinking game with some housecleaning interspersed.
• “Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day”, A poll of pet owners found that about ⅓ have eaten dog food at one time or another, most likely just to see what it tastes like (Or to gross out their sister!)
• “Diesel Engine Day”, on this day in 1893, Rudolf Diesel received a patent for his diesel engine. Instead of gasoline, this engine burns fuel oil and uses compressed air in the cylinder instead of a spark to ignite the fuel.
• “Banana Bread Day”, the first cookbooks mentioning banana bread were published during the Great Depression. Culinary historians believe that a resourceful housewife who did not want to throw away over-ripe bananas may have invented the original recipe.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003  Bill Maher’s political talk show “Real Time with Bill Maher” debuts on HBO
2018  Evangelist Billy Graham, described as one of the 20th century’s most influential Christian leaders, dies at 99.
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1977  At a concert stop at the Nassau Coliseum, every member of Kiss has some blood drawn. It’s not for the Red Cross: the blood will be mixed with ink used to print the first Kiss comic book, which appears in June
1997  Spice Girls’ ‘Wannabe’ becomes the first debut single by a British group to top North American charts since The Beatles
2012  Adele flips off producers at the “Brit Awards” when she is ushered off stage before finishing her acceptance speech for her ‘Album Of the Year’ win for “21”
2014  A statue of Kurt Cobain crying a single tear is unveiled in the late Nirvana frontman’s hometown of Aberdeen WA
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2011  An NYU professor has an experimental life-blogging camera removed from his head after his immune system rejects the implant
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2008  In one of eBay’s most expensive sales to date, the online auction house brokers a deal between an American music collector and an Irish buyer for 3 million albums & singles in various formats at a cost of about $1 per item
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ At a steady pace of 6 mph (9.65km/h), it would take a jogger 173 days to circle the globe.
✓ The largest wave ever surfed was 80 feet high (24.4M).
✓ M&M colors once included violet.
✓ Keeping mothballs in your tool chest will help prevent rust.
✓ Snakes sleep with both eyes open.
✓ 95% of the paperwork filed in an average office will never again be seen by human eyes.
BS MAKE A MOVIE FANCY:
• Fifty Shades of Grey Poupon
• Thelma and Louis Vuitton
• The Fifth Elegant
• As Gucci as it Gets
• Caviar We There Yet?
• The Breakfast Country Club
• Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Jackets
• Baroque-Back Mountain
• The Posh Man Only Rings Twice
• When Harrods Met Sally
Best of BS . . .
BS REASONS OUR PRODUCT IS BETTER THAN OUR COMPETITOR’S:
✓ Our celebrity spokesperson starred in some of your favorite movies, theirs is a deadbeat dad (or so we heard).
✓ We let our 8-year-old employees have a break every 6 hours.
✓ 4-out-of-5 dentists have never filed a lawsuit against us.
✓ Our headquarters in the Caymans means we pay less taxes, and we pass the savings on to you.
✓ Companies like Boeing, Ford, GE, Viacom, and Walmart all have employees who have seen commercials for our products.
✓ Animal testing shows only slight genetic modifications.
✓ Focus-group approved, European-sounding name.
✓ The lowest percentage of rat droppings … period.
-First published in BS in 2015
BS WEB GOODIE:
Ice fails: https://tinyurl.com/vqlwbwl
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s your guilty pleasure, the thing you’re too embarrassed to admit you enjoy?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
You never know what I have up my sleeve. Today, for example, it was a dryer sheet.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 8% of men have a picture of THIS in their work area. What is it?
Answer: His truck
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you can’t be kind, be quiet.