Friday, February 10, 2012        Edition: #4688


Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘N Fresh!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Simon Cowell has shot down rumors about who may be new judges on “The X Factor”, telling “Extra” that Beyoncé would be too expensive and Mariah Carey is too busy with her newborn twins (the reported $100 million offered Beyoncé is ludicrous he says, as that’s the budget for the entire show) . . . Meantime, Cowell is insisting that the firing of Paula Abdul was not his call (seems even he’s scared of her when she goes over the edge) . . . This week Arnold Schwarzenegger & Sylvester Stallone had shoulder surgery together at the same hospital (now there’s a buddy comedy in the making) . . . Actress Courteney Cox has admitted that make-out sessions with men make her nervous and she’s been abstinent since separating from husband David Arquette (unlike him) . . . Bruce Beresford-Redman, producer of hit reality TV show “Survivor” (CBS), has been extradited to Mexico where he’ll face charges of murdering his wife in 2010 while on vacation in Cancun (he’s facing his toughest tribal council yet) . . . Former Oscar-nominated actor Gary Busey admits he’s broke and has just filed for bankruptcy (for a clue why, consider that he’s also a former participant on “Celebrity Rehab with Dr Drew”) . . . It’s now official: FOX-TV’s  “House MD” is hanging up his cane and the long-running medical drama will wrap after its current 8th season (the reason – star Hugh Laurie already said sayonara) . . . And actress Halle Berry has asked the judge overseeing her custody battle for permission to move to France with her daughter Nahla (her spite for ex-partner Gabriel Aubry knows no bounds).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “BAFTA Awards” (BBC 1) – Sunday the 2012 British Academy Film Awards are handed out in London. Silent movie “The Artist” seems likely to continue its winning streak as it has 12 nominations, one more than British espionage spy thriller “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy”.
• “Celebrity Apprentice” (NBC) – On Sunday’s season debut, Donald Trump welcomes a new cast that includes singers Clay Aiken, Debbie Gibson, and Dee Snider (Twisted Sister); TV personality Arsenio Hall, actor George Takei (“Star Trek”), Lou Ferrigno (“Incredible Hulk”), racing driver Michael Andretti, and Vegas magician Penn Jillette.
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tonight Adam Cohen (“Like a Man”).
• “Grammy Awards” (CBS/Global) – Sunday LL Cool J hosts the 54th music honors live from LA’s Staples Center. A few highlights …
✓ Kanye West leads nominations with 7; just ahead of Adele, Bruno Mars, and Foo Fighters with 6 apiece.
✓ Canadians nominees include Deadmau5, Drake, Melanie Fiona, Sum 41.
✓ Performers include Adele (first performance in 5 months); Beach Boys w/Maroon 5 and Foster the People; Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band; Bruno Mars; Chris Brown; Coldplay w/Rihanna; Foo Fighters; Jason Aldean w/Kelly Clarkson; Nicki Minaj; Taylor Swift; and Tony Bennett w/Carrie Underwood.
✓ ‘Lifetime Achievement Awards’ go to Allman Bros Band, Diana Ross, George Jones, and Glen Campbell among others at the “Grammy Special Merit Awards” on Saturday night.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight Gotye (“Making Mirrors”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Katharine McPhee (“Smash”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight R&B veteran Betty Wright.
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Today Jann Arden (“Uncover Me 2”).
• MusiCares Person Of the Year – Tonight Paul McCartney is fêted as this year’s honoree at the 22nd annual benefit gala in LA. Performers include Alicia Keys, Coldplay, Diana Krall, Foo Fighters, James Taylor, Katy Perry, Neil Young & Crazy Horse (1st performance since 2004), Norah Jones, and Tony Bennett. Proceeds go toward providing financial, medical, and personal needs for needy musicians.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Zooey Deschanel (“New Girl”); musical guest Karmin (“Hello”, due in April).
• “60 Minutes” (CBS) – Sunday, in a Grammy night interview with Anderson Cooper, Adele admits she likes to swear but had to use a text-to-sound phone app to do so when she couldn’t speak for 2 months after throat surgery.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Today Tony Bennett w/kd lang (“Duets II”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Cee-Lo Green (“The Voice”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today the Cranberries (“Roses”, out February 28th).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Today Wale f/Miguel (“Ambition”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – She’s spending her 19th week atop the SoundScan sales chart with her mega-hit album “21”, which sold another 122,000 copies. Lana Del Rey’s “Born to Die” debuts at #2, and 77-year-old singer-poet Leonard Cohen is at #3 with “Old Ideas”, giving him his highest charting album and best sales week of his lengthy career.
• Brad Paisley – He’s tweeted that Paul McCartney’s new album “Kisses On the Bottom” is an absolute lock for ‘Worst Album Title Of the Year’. He suggests someone among his ‘yes-men’ should have told McCartney it was a terrible idea.
• Guns ‘N Roses – Tonight at NYC’s Roseland Ballroom they begin a mini-tour of 6 intimate venues that will also include NYC’s Webster Hall, Chicago’s House of Blues, and The Fillmore in Silver Spring, Maryland.
• Katy Perry – This week a judge signed off on her divorce from Russell Brand, although they won’t be legally split up until July 14th as California law requires couples to wait at least 6 months after filing before their divorce is finalized. According to court documents, she’s retaining both her fortune and her real name, Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson.
• Randy Travis – Tonight the country veteran, who was arrested for public intoxication in Dallas on Super Bowl Sunday, begins a 30-city silver anniversary tour in Grand Ronde, Oregon.
• Rihanna – Sunday she’s headlining a charity concert at the House of Blues in LA to benefit children’s hospitals. Calvin Harris and deadmau5 are also on the bill and, with the Grammys in town the same night, surprise guests are likely. That’s perhaps why tickets are $1,000 … each.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:

• “Journey 2: The Mysterious Island” ( PG Family Adventure ): In this sequel to “Journey To the Center Of the Earth” (2008), a young man partners with his mom’s boyfriend on a mission to find his grandfather, who is thought to be missing on a mythical island. Stars Josh Hutcherson, Dwayne Johnson, Michael Caine, Vanessa Hudgens, Kristin Davis.
NET: http://www.themysteriousisland.com
• “Safe House” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ) – Ryan Reynolds plays a young CIA agent who is tasked with looking after a fugitive in a safe house (Denzel Washington). But when the safe house is attacked, he finds himself on the run with his charge. Co-stars Vera Farmiga (“Up In the Air”). Shot in Cape Town, South Africa and Washington DC.
NET: http://www.nooneissafe.com
• “Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace 3-D” ( PG Sci-Fi Adventure Re-release ) – Even though this 1999 instalment of George Lucas’ 6-film series made the most money ($924 million) it was also one of the most vilified, thanks in part to the character ‘Jar Jar Binks’. Stars Ewan McGregor, Liam Neeson, Natalie Portman, Jake Lloyd.
NET: http://www.starwars.com/watch/episode-i-3d.html
• “The Vow” ( PG-13 Romantic Drama ) – Rachel McAdams plays a young newlywed who sinks into a coma after an auto accident. When she wakes up with severe memory loss, her new husband (Channing Tatum) has to work to win her heart all over again. Co-stars Sam Neill, Jessica Lange. Shot in Chicago, Illinois and Toronto, Ontario.
NET: http://thevow-movie.com

UP FOR BETS:
There were a lot of strange odds offered for the Super Bowl last weekend, but the Brits still hold the title when it comes to oddball sports bets. After a cat temporarily stopped the Liverpool-Tottenham soccer game Monday by running onto the pitch, British bookies have begun offering odds on the next animal to do a game invasion. Unsurprisingly, cats, dogs, and rabbits are fairly low odds but a squirrel is the 6-4 favorite so far. For those looking for a longshot, a snake is 100-1. And at 250-1 … an elephant or penguin. (About the same odds as a total score over 2.)
NET: http://bit.ly/z5mgl5
– PopBitch.com

MOST VIRAL VIDEOS:

MTV International has revealed the winners of the “2011 MTV Video Play Awards”, recognizing the most played videos across MTV channels around-the-world: Adele, Jessie J, Jennifer Lopez, and Katy Perry earned ‘Double Platinum Awards’; while Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, and Rihanna each scored a hat trick of ‘Platinum Awards’. The top music videos were aired over 765,000 times across 60 international MTV channels in 2011. (MTV still plays music? Who knew.)
– FMQB.com

PAD DATE:

Sources say Apple has chosen the first week in March to debut the successor to the iPad 2, and will do so at one of its trademark special events. The event will be held in San Francisco, presumably at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, Apple’s preferred location for big announcements like these. It will be the first major launch since the death of Steve Jobs. No word yet on a street date for the iPad 3 (assuming that’s what it’s called), though it’s likely to follow roughly the same schedule as that of the iPad 2 … available for purchase a week or so after the event. (So start lining up now.)
– AllThingsD.com

DID YOU KNOW?

• Gorillas reassure each other by grinning. (For more information, Google online pics of Arnold Schwarzenegger & Sylvester Stallone in the hospital together.)
– Magazine Monitor
• Comparing genomes, scientists have concluded that today’s humans outside Africa carry an average of 2.5% Neanderthal DNA. (For even more information, Google online pics of Arnold Schwarzenegger & Sylvester Stallone in the hospital together.)
– “New York Times”

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
We’re on hiatus February 16-23 inclusive. Subscribers will receive account credits in lieu of service for those days.

BS CHRONOMETER 02.10.12


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1964 [48] Glenn Beck, Everett WA, syndicated conservative radio personality (“The Glenn Beck Program”)/TV host (Fox News Channel)/author (“Arguing With Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds and Big Government”)

1967 [45] Laura Dern, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (“Jurassic Park” films, “Rambling Rose”)/ex-Mrs Ben Harper

1991 [21] Emma Roberts, Rhinebeck NY, movie actress (“Scream 4”, “Valentine’s Day”)/daughter of actor Eric Roberts/niece of actress Julia Roberts

1994 [18] Makenzie Vega, LA CA, TV actress (‘Grace Florrick’ on “The Good Wife” since 2009)

SATURDAY –
Pop singer Sheryl Crow (“All I Wanna Do”) is 50; Movie actress Jennifer Aniston (“The Break-Up”) is 43; Rock singer Mike Shinoda (Linkin Park) is 35; Pop singer Brandy (“The Boy Is Mine”) is 33; Pop singer Kelly Rowland (ex-Destiny’s Child) is 31; Movie actor Taylor Lautner (“Twilight Saga”) is 20.

SUNDAY –
TV personality Arsenio Hall (“Celebrity Apprentice”) is 57; Movie actor Josh Brolin (“No Country For Old Men”) is 44; Pop bassist Jim Creeggan (Barenaked Ladies) is 42; TV actor Jesse Spencer (“House”) is 33; TV actress Sarah Lancaster (“Chuck”) is 32; TV-movie actress Christina Ricci (“Pan Am”) is 32.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “For the Birds Day”, a highlight of “Wild Bird Feeding Month”. (So check your cookbook for some yummy wild game recipes.)
• “Rejection Awareness Week” begins, to draw attention to people who’ve taken a chance on love and had their hearts stomped on. (Awww.)

SATURDAY –
• “Inventors Day”, honoring the birth of inventor Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931), who single-handedly patented some 1,200 inventions.
• “Pro Sports Wives Day”, the 7th annual declared by the Professional Sports Wives Association. In the US alone, there are some 500,000 married to pro athletes & coaches. The group even has it’s own magazine …
NET: http://www.prosportswives.com
• “Satisfied Staying Single Day”, for those who choose to live independently and are quite happy doing so. What’s the best thing about being single? You have control of the TV remote all the time, you don’t have to shave your legs, and – best of all – you can’t get dumped!

SUNDAY –
• “American International Toy Fair”, the 109th edition of the largest toy trade show in the Western Hemisphere through Wednesday in NYC. More than 1,500 toy-makers show the stuff we’ll be scrambling for this holiday season, including the new “Transformers Generations” line, a series of horror film figurines, and a new smash-em-up game called “Bot Shots”.
NET: http://www.toyfairny.com/
• “Funeral Service Education Week” begins. To become an undertaker these days, you need to take a course in Funeral Service Education, known as ‘FUNS’.
• “International Condom Week”, just in time for Valentines Day. A poll by the makers of Durex condoms finds there aren’t many virgins left over the age of 25 … only 2% of those polled!
• “Lost Penny Day”, set aside to collect all of those wasted pennies stashed in jars & drawers around the house and put them back into circulation. Because a penny saved is … a waste of time. (Actually, a penny saved is a government oversight.)
• “World Marriage Day”, an annual recognition of married couples on the 2nd Sunday of February, with particular attention focused on those married longest. Sponsored by Worldwide Marriage Encounter, the largest pro-marriage & family movement in the world.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

2006 [06] Final episode of cult favorite “Arrested Development” airs on FOX-TV (they keep promising a movie, but so far no release date)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .

1942 [70] The first-ever ‘Gold Record’ is presented to the Glenn Miller Orchestra for their swing hit “Chattanooga Choo-Choo” (“Pardon me, Roy. Is that the cat that ate your new shoes …”)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

1957 [55] The Styrofoam cooler is invented (here’s to beer!)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .

1982 [30] 28 skiers perform a simultaneous back-flip while holding hands (Bromont, Québec)

AND REMEMBER . . .

[Mon] Get a Different Name Day
[Tues] Valentines Day
[Tues] Quirky Alone Day
[Tues] Pet Theft Awareness Day
[Tues] Condom Day
This Week Is … International Friendship Week
This Month Is … Fiber Focus Month

BULL’S BITS


BS LEAST POPULAR VALENTINE CARDS:
● “I have reason to believe you’re carrying an illegal weapon, because your ass is lethal!”
● “Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?”
● “Hey Valentine, want to see something swell?”
● “You know Valentine, beauty is only a light switch away.”
● “If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.”
● “I’m completely devoid of any creativity, so I bought you this $5 greeting card.”
● “Happy Valentine’s Day to my ex. Hope you like the heart-shaped box full of angry hornets.”

BS RANDOM JOKE:

Take the weird costumes of Mardi Gras, add music, and what do you have? The Grammy Awards!

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Question: Experts say a simple way to get people to like you at work is to do THIS.
Answer: Put a dish of candy on your desk.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Home is where everybody goes when they get tired of being nice to people.


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