Monday, February 10, 2014        Edition: #5156

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

★ Today designer Tommy Hilfiger is inviting key NYC Instagrammers to document the “New York Fashion Week” show of his latest womenswear collection. The first digitally-engaged ‘InstaMeet’ is being staged at the Park Avenue Armory in Manhattan. 20 local Instagrammers are capturing the action from the runway while Hilfiger himself collaborates with 2 Instagram pros behind-the-scenes. A rep says it’s just the latest way Tommy Hilfiger Group is using to engage the industry and consumers with its runway shows. To follow along …
NET: #tommyfall14 or #nyfwinstameet
★ This week “Sports Illustrated” continues to celebrate its 50 years of swimsuit editions with the release of a flight-safety video for Air New Zealand featuring swimsuit models on the tropical Cook Islands. Christie Brinkley, 60 but looking way younger, pops up in the “Safety in Paradise” video all the way from Hollywood. This is not the first time Air New Zealand has gotten creative with flight-safety videos. Previous editions included one with 90-something Betty White sharing tips while dancing, and another with “Lord Of the Rings” characters squeezed onto a plane. (Anything’s better than the old ‘show & tell’ by flight attendants in the aisle.)
★ Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt’s new wine has debuted to rave reviews. The celebrity couple’s 2nd vintage of rosé produced at their French Provençal estate, Chateau Miraval, has been described as ‘powerful and elegant with a mouthwatering finish’ by “Decanter” magazine. The 2013 Miraval went on sale online over the weekend and will be in shops and restaurants around-the-world next month. Around 200,000 bottles of Côtes de Provence rosé ’13 will be sold at circa $20 each. (Not bad for sophomore winemakers.)
– AP
★ The new comedy movie “Love & Air Sex” opened over the weekend in limited release. ‘Air Sex’ is an actual phenomenon with numerous competitions nationwide in which contestants simulate the horizontal bop at its raunchiest … in front of a rowdy crowd. This is a sport for grown-ups, with competitors striving to pantomime inventive and unusual scenarios. As one participant puts it, “I’ve never done anything during air sex that I’ve done in ground sex” (the real deal). Seems the idea is to take a spectacle that could be extremely embarrassing and make it so wacky it becomes entertaining, basically fake foreplay that’s funny. Oh and yes, just like in the movie, there actually is an annual ‘Air Sex World Championship’. (And you thought air guitar was challenging.)
– “New York Daily News”

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Rock Candy Funk Party (“We Want Groove”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Bruno Mars (“Moonshine Jungle Tour”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Eric Church (“The Outsiders”, out tomorrow).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – The Orwells (“Other Voices”). Rerun.
• “Westminster Dog Show” (CNBC) – The 138th edition of one of the most prestigious annual shows airs live from NYC’s Madison Square Garden. Day 2 tomorrow on USA network.
• “Winter Olympics” (CBC/NBC) – Freestyle skiing: men’s moguls; women’s hockey; men’s curling; Alpine skiing: women’s super combined.

• Garth Brooks – He’s now sold out 5 shows in Dublin, Ireland for this Summer, a total of 400,000 tickets. “The Garth Brooks Comeback Special Event” takes place July 25th-29th.
• Jason Aldean – Friday he sold out his first “Burn It Down Tour” stadium show of 2014, scheduled for July 19th at the Great American Ball Park in Cincinnati OH. The first leg of his headlining tour kicks off May 1st in Roanoke VA. Florida Georgia Line is also on the bill.
• Justin Bieber – It now looks like he could face prosecution for felony vandalism in regard to the egging incident that kicked off his current ‘crime spree’ in January. If that’s the case, he’ll need to keep his court appearances organized. His trial date for the Miami case is March 3rd.
• Kacey Musgraves – Thanks to her Grammy Awards performance “Same Trailer Different Park” is back atop the new ‘Billboard Country Albums’ chart for this week.
• OneRepublic – Due to fast-moving ticket sales they’ve added an additional 27 dates to their already 16-date Summer tour. The tour opens May 28th in Denver CO. The Script and American Authors are also appearing.
• Queen – In an interview with BBC Radio 2, Brian May suggests he would like to reunite with Adam Lambert, who has performed vocals for the band in the past. Quote: “I think we’ll be doing some more stuff this Summer in fact, probably in the States.”

Got $99,300 kicking around and want to impress your Valentine this year? Luxury website VeryFirstTo is offering up an 8-course meal prepared in the home of Michelin-starred British chef Adam Simmonds and featuring some of the rarest and most decadent ingredients on the planet: Almus white caviar, Amethyst bamboo salt, foie gras, oysters, Pacific bluefin tuna, truffle salad, and Wagyu beef, not to mention pairings with some of the world’s finest wines. Dessert? Vanilla & smoke chocolate Kopi Luwak coffee ice cream (that’s the coffee where the beans are extracted from the feces of the Asian civet cat … seriously). If you’re interested, better hurry … the offer expires tomorrow. (By comparison, your romantic dinner tab now looks chintzy.)

Italian police have seized more than 1 million knock-off cashmere garments from 5 manufacturing companies in Rome after a year-long investigation. What’s worse than counterfeit cashmere clothes? How about counterfeit cashmere clothes made with … rat fur. Yup, authorities say they found acrylic, viscose, and fur from rats and other animals in cashmere coats manufactured by Chinese-run firms. This dubious apparel was distributed by a company located near Florence. As many as 14 Chinese-born residents may face fraud charges in the case. (“Time for a new coat, hon’. That one’s looking a little ratty …”)

Here’s the best way to get a quick energy boost when tired … light. Medical experts from Boston’s Brigham & Women’s Hospital have concluded that exposure to the short wavelength known as ‘blue light’ during daylight hours can boost alertness and performance immediately. In experiments, those exposed to blue light for several hours not only reported feeling less sleepy, there were actual changes in their brain patterns that indicated a more alert state. Researchers are now trying to develop a way to deliver the special light, but as of now exposure to natural sunlight is the only way to turn on your body’s wake-up switch. (We’re not scientists, but something tells us brain activity will skyrocket if we’re exposed to natural sunlight on a warm beach in the Caribbean.)

According to, the most romantic cities in the country are overwhelmingly located in Alberta, BC, and Manitoba. This totally unscientific survey is based on analysis of purchases made through the site, ie: romance novels, mushy music, and rom-com movies. So, based on those types of factors, the most ‘heart-y’ spots in the country are …
5. North Vancouver BC
4. Lethbridge AB
3. Niagara Falls ON
2. Winnipeg MB
1. Victoria BC

Know a great guy who’s not quite your type but would be perfect for someone else? A new dating site called ‘Jess, Meet Ken’ lets women post a profile for an eligible guy they’re not into but would recommend to other women. If another user is interested in said guy, she contacts the poster to find out more info about her male friend. If all goes well, the ‘middle woman’ can introduce them. The website is modeled around how its founders and namesakes, Jess & Ken, actually met. The site is currently in its first beta phase, as users sign up and build the profile database. Beta ‘phase 2’ will launch soon, when the matching component comes into play and people start meeting. (Sort of like getting a guy with a warranty.)

Your body adapts to the position that you most often assume, which for most guys is hunching in a chair. To break your slump, adopt these 3 habits …
✓ Set your work email to ping every 15 minutes to remind you to sit up straight with your shoulders back.
✓ Twice a day, perform this diaphragm-strengthening drill: Lie facedown on the floor with your forehead resting on your palms. Breathe in through your nose and drive air into your belly while keeping your chest relaxed. Exhale through your mouth. Repeat 10 times.
✓ Last but most importantly, strengthen your back so it’s as strong as your chest. Regular reps of back-strengthening exercises can fix this imbalance.
– “Men’s Health”

There’s a snarky new weight-loss app that uses insults as motivation. It’s stated goal is to – quote – ‘transform your flabby carcass into a Grade A specimen of the human race’. Carrot Fit allows users to keep track of their weight and set weight-loss goals. If they succeed, the ‘Carrot’ character rewards them with praise and workout pointers. But if users start gaining the weight back, the ‘fitness overlord’ can become brutal, sarcastically berating, ridiculing, and judging you as she sees fit. Those who don’t mind being called ‘meatbag’ can buy the app for $1.99 in the iTunes store. (Whatcha think? Fun … or fat-shaming?)

• US military dogs are given ranks that make them more senior than their handlers to encourage the humans to treat the animals with respect.
– “Washington Post”
• Farmed salmon with no experience of the world outside line up with the Earth’s magnetic field in the direction of their ancestral feeding grounds.
– “Times of London”


1967 [47] Laura Dern, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (“Little Fockers”, “Jurassic Park” films)/ex-Mrs Ben Harper

1967 [47] Vince Gilligan, Richmond VA, TV show creator (“Breaking Bad”)/TV writer-producer (“The X-Files”)  COMING UP: “Better Call Saul”, a “Breaking Bad” spin-off, debuting November.

1974 [40] Elizabeth Banks, Pittsfield MA, movie actress (“The Lego Movie”, “The Hunger Games” films)  COMING UP: Produces and stars in “Pitch Perfect 2” (2015).

1991 [23] Emma Roberts, Rhinebeck NY, movie actress (“We’re the Millers”, “Valentine’s Day”)/daughter of actor Eric Roberts/niece of actress Julia Roberts

1994 [20] Makenzie Vega, LA CA, TV actress (‘Grace Florrick’ on “The Good Wife” since 2009)

1997 [17] Chloë Grace Moretz, Atlanta GA, movie actress (“Kick-Ass” movies, ”Carrie”)

• “Clean Out Your Computer Day”, observed on the 2nd Monday of the month, when you’re encouraged to logically review and delete old files and programs.

• “Family Day” in BC, an annual excuse for a long weekend in Winter on the 2nd Monday of February. (Jumping the gun on Alberta, Manitoba, Ontario, and Saskatchewan by 1 week.)

• “For the Birds Day”, a highlight of “Wild Bird Feeding Month”. (So check your cookbook for some yummy wild game recipes.)

2006 [08] Final episode of cult favorite “Arrested Development” airs on FOX-TV (they’ve since tried a Netflix reboot and keep promising a movie, but so far no release date)

1942 [72] 1st-ever ‘Gold Record’ is presented to the Glenn Miller Orchestra for their swing hit “Chattanooga Choo-Choo” (“Pardon me, Roy. Is that the cat that ate your new shoes …”)

1957 [57] The Styrofoam cooler is invented (here’s to beer!)

[Tues] Get Out Your Guitar Day
[Tues] Pro Sports Wives Day
[Tues] Shut-in Visitation Day
[Tues] Satisfied Staying Single Day
[Tues] Extraterrestrial Visitor Day
[Wed] “RoboCop” opens in movie theaters

• “Funeral Service Education Week” begins. To become an undertaker these days, you need to take a course in Funeral Service Education, ironically known as ‘FUNS’.
• “International Condom Week”, just in time for Valentines Day. A poll by the makers of Durex condoms finds there aren’t many virgins left over the age of 25 … only 2% of those polled.
• “Random Acts of Kindness Week”, a time to do something nice for someone you know or even for a complete stranger.
• “Rejection Awareness Week” begins, to draw attention to people who’ve taken a chance on love and had their hearts stomped on. (Awww.)
• Also this week: Celebration of Love Week / Children of Alcoholics Week / Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week / Green Week / Have a Heart For a Chained Dog Week / International Flirting Week / Jell-O Week / Love a Mench Week / Love Makes the World Go Round But Laughter Keeps Us From Getting Dizzy Week / Risk Awareness Week


Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Whyzit the person who invests all your money is called a ‘broker’?
• Whyzit croutons come in air-tight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.
• Whyzit supermarkets use the express checkout for on-the-job training of cashiers?
• Whyzit called ‘premarital sex’ when most participants have no intention of getting married?
• Whyzit women’s magazines spend so much time nagging you about what you should eat and how much you should weigh, then in the same issue publish the latest red velvet cake recipe?
– First published in “BS” 2005.

• Lengthy pause after ‘bow’ while he tries to remember ‘wow’.
• When you feed him Science Diet, he only eats the meat by-products.
• Buries tail, wags bones.
• Has suffered over 2 dozen concussions from toilet seat falling on his head.
– First published in “BS” 1995.

I couldn’t figure out how to fasten my seat-belt. Then it clicked.

☎ Most annoying cliches of sports announcers? (“She overcame the most unbeatable odds to become the athlete she is today.” “It’s gut-check time.” “He’s a credit to our country.”)

Question: Even though they admit they should be able to, 15% of women really can’t remember THIS.
Answer: Their natural hair color. (“Marie Claire”)

Just remember … if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

Latone Hart @ Hot 97.9 [KQLK] Lake Charles LA; Jack Cheatwood @ Country 98.3 [WKSR] Pulaski TN; Ellyn Davey @ Power 88.3 [WNFA] Port Huron MI; and Larry Dittinger @ Classic Country Z92 [WZAC] Danville WV.

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