Friday, February 11, 2011        Edition: #4445
Bullseye!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
45-year-old “Glee” creator Ryan Murphy has been asked to consider directing a remake of the musical comedy “Annie” which will star Willow Smith (not surprisingly the project is being co-produced by Will & Jada Pinkett Smith) . . . Jennifer Aniston says she wants to ‘simplify her life’ by selling off her Beverly Hills mansion and splitting time between a smaller house in LA and an apartment in Manhattan (is an announcement about work on Broadway in the offing?) . . . Actor Charlie Sheen has reportedly offered to pay 33% of the salaries for the crew of “Two-and-a-Half Men” while production is halted due to his latest rehab stint, but only if CBS-TV and Warner Bros cover the remainder (dude, you’re 100% responsible) . . . Actress Penelope Cruz has named her new baby son via actor Javier Bardem ‘Leo’ (hey, why is DiCaprio smirking?) . . . Simon Cowell says he’s only watched ‘3 minutes’ of “American Idol” this season (meow!) . . . Miley Cyrus tells the March edition of “Marie Claire” she regrets smoking salvia, the hallucinogenic herb that’s legal in California, because it set a bad example for her young fans (she is, however, thrilled with the billions in free PR it generated) . . . Videogame-maker Activision has announced it’s disbanding the unit that makes “Guitar Hero”, due to declining popularity (leaving you with lots of garage sale material) . . . And “William & Kate The Movie”, a Lifetime network adaptation of the story of the upcoming British royal wedding is set to begin filming, starring New Zealand actor Nico Evers-Swindell as the prince & the role of Kate Middleton yet to be cast (uh people, shouldn’t we make sure they get married first?).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “BAFTA Awards” (BBC 1) – Sunday in London “The King’s Speech” leads nominations at the annual honors from the British Academy of Film & Television Arts with a total of 14. “Black Swan” trails with 12 nominations.
• “Dateline NBC” (NBC) – Sunday Janet Jackson discusses her life and her new book “True You”. Her 35-date 2011 world tour begins Monday in Hong Kong.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Today Ricky Martin (“Musica + Alma + Sexo”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tonight MIA (“Maya”).
• “Grammy Awards” (CBS/Global) – Sunday at the Staples Center in Los Angeles Eminem leads nominations at the 53rd annual music awards with a total of 10. Bruno Mars follows with 7; Jay-Z, Lady Antebellum, and Lady Gaga have 6 apiece. Performers include BoB, Bob Dylan, Bruno Mars, Drake, Eminem, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Muse, Rihanna, and Usher.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Tonight Montréal band The Dears (“Degeneration Street”, out Tuesday).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Russell Brand (“Hop”, opening April 1st); musical guest Chris Brown (“FAME”, out March 22nd.)
• “60 Minutes” (CBS) – Sunday Anderson Cooper’s comprehensive interview with Lady Gaga airs, the same night she performs live on the “Grammy Awards”.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight The Black Keys (“Brothers”).
• “Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games Anniversary Special” (CTV) – Sunday a look back at what happened 1 year ago.
• “Who Do You Think You Are?” (NBC) – Tonight country star Tim McGraw researches his father’s past and discovers an industrious ancestor.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ashlee Simpson – This week she surprisingly filed for divorce from Pete Wentz … and she’s asking for spousal & child support. Time to get another Fall Out Boy album in the works!
• Barbra Streisand – Tonight in Los Angeles she’s honored as the 2011 “MusiCares Person of the Year”. Performers at the benefit event include Barry Manilow, Diana Krall, LeAnn Rimes, Nikki Yanofsky, Seal, Stevie Wonder, Tony Bennett, and “Glee” cast members.
• Dierks Bentley – Saturday he revives his pre-Grammy bash at the Troubador in Los Angeles, where several surprise guest artists perform. The last edition of this event featured Brad Paisley, Miranda Lambert, and members of Pearl Jam.
• Dolly Parton – Saturday she receives  a ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’ from the “Grammy Awards” in recognition of her prolific career (41 country albums). Formal acknowledgment of the honor will be made on Sunday’s televised awards gala.
• Lady Gaga – Sunday is the official release of the title track from her new album “Born This Way”, which she’s performing on the “Grammy Awards”. The album’s out May 23rd.
• Rolling Stones – Mick Jagger’s now 64-year-old former girlfriend Marianne Faithfull (1966-70) has weighed in on Keith Richards autobiography claim that Mick has a ‘tiny todger’. Faithfull says that’s ‘not quite, but nearly’ true. She says Mick’s bigger problem is he has trouble sharing.
• Wyclef Jean – He’ll perform a free online concert this morning at 7 am (2 pm Cairo time) on Facebook, a ‘joint for the people of Egypt’ which is presumably a show of support. Or maybe an attention grab because Haiti wouldn’t let him be president?

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Eagle” ( PG-13 Historical Adventure ): Channing Tatum plays a Roman soldier in 140 AD who embarks on a quest to restore the reputation of his father, the one-time commander of Rome’s 9th Legion who disappeared in the mountains of Scotland 20 years earlier. Co-stars Jamie Bell, Donald Sutherland.
NET: http://focusfeatures.com/the_eagle
• “Gnomeo & Juliet” ( G-Rated Animated Adventure ): A Disney version of Shakespeare’s famous play, in which 2 garden gnomes are would-be lovers whose families are engaged in a timeless feud. Voice cast includes James McAvoy and Emily Blunt, who confides to Digital Spy she’s surprised there could be a movie about garden gnomes. Music by Elton John.
NET: http://www.gnomeoandjuliet.com
• “Just Go With It” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Adam Sandler stars as a womanizing plastic surgeon who persuades his faithful assistant (Jennifer Aniston) to pretend to be his soon-to-be ex-wife in order to cover up a lie and help him win the girl of his dreams (played by “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker). Co-stars Nicole Kidman.
NET: http://www.justgowithit-movie.com
• “Justin Bieber: Never Say Never” ( 3-D Biopic/Concert ): A look at Bieber’s early life, his rise to fame, plus performances and behind-the-scenes footage from his 2010 tour. Includes clips as a young child, as well as backstage antics. Appearances by Boys II Men, Jaden Smith, Ludacris, Miley Cyrus, Sean Kingston, and Usher.
NET: http://www.justinbieberneversaynever.com

REAL BUT REALLY BAD VALENTINES GIFTS:
• ‘Ashley Madison Membership’ – Signing him or her up for a website where ‘affairs are guaranteed’ is simply asking your partner to cheat on you.
• ‘Bald Guyz Head Wipes’ – Remind him that he’s not only bald, but also disgustingly sweaty too. Hurray for destroying your lover’s self-confidence!
• ‘Bitch Perfume’ – Not even acceptable for the woman who seemingly never stops PMS-ing.
• ‘Body Hair Underwear’ – Subtly tell her that you like a little bit of ‘grass on the field’ with this utterly unsexy body-hair underwear.
• ‘Don’t Forget Ring’ – A $7-piece of gold string to tie around a finger is the only jewelry you’re getting your gal? Cheapo!
• ‘His & Hers Tongue Scrapers’ – Yeah, fresh breath is nice but, no matter what the packaging leads you to believe, this is not a romantic gift for the two of you.
• ‘Mangroomer’ – An electric back-shaver makes a conveniently rude gift for the folliclely- enhanced man.
NET: http://bit.ly/fFSi9G
– InventorSpot.com

SEEMS SHEEP SHOULDN’T BE SHEEPISH:
New research at Britain’s University of Cambridge verifies various other studies over the past few decades that suggest sheep are anything but stupid. It turns out the humble domestic sheep can pass a psychological test that monkeys struggle with. Previous findings show that sheep recognize each other’s faces and can discriminate breeds, preferring to look at their own. What’s more, there’s evidence they can group plants by family and memorize the correct route through a maze. (What they need is a movie star sheep to refute their reputation, like ‘Babe’ and ‘Wilbur’ did for pigs!)
– NewScientist.com

GREEN VALENTINES:
Ways to celebrate Valentines Day with the environment in mind, as suggested by the advocacy group Waste Awareness …
• Make your own cards from leftover wrapping paper.
• Purchase flowers planted in a pot instead of a bunch of cut flowers in a bouquet.
• If you must buy chocolates, buy those with the least packaging.
• Give ‘waste-free’ gifts such as theater tickets.
• If you’re cooking a romantic meal, pay attention to portions so you don’t waste food by making too much.
– DailyMail.co.uk

DON’T CALL ME OLD:
Baby Boomers, born 1946-64, are now entering their senior years … just don’t tell them. The famously demanding and rebellious generation doesn’t want anyone suggesting they’re entering geezerdom. But consumer products companies targeting the lucrative demographic have already begun to make adjustments. Surreptitiously, they’re making typefaces larger, lowering store shelves to make them more accessible, and avoiding yellows & blues in packaging … two colors that don’t appear as sharply distinct to older eyes. (Have you noticed many products are now within ‘cane-reach’?)
– “Wall Street Journal”

VALENTINES VIDEOS:
The all-time most romantic movies, according to one recent ranking …
5. “Dirty Dancing”
4. “Titanic”
3. “Sleepless in Seattle”
2. “Casablanca”
1. “Romeo + Juliet”
(So what did they miss?)
– HMV.ca

NO-SHOW PENALTY:
Gym-Pact is a new company that arranges group membership rates at fitness clubs in Boston MA. It offers what it refers to as ‘motivational fees’, whereby customers pay more if they miss their scheduled workouts, literally agreeing to a financial penalty if they don’t stick to their fitness plan. The idea evolved from a behavioral economics class at Harvard University, where students were taught we’re more motivated by immediate consequences than by future possibilities. Two former students have put the idea into practice. (Getting people to pay to fail … brilliant!)
– Boston.com

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Spouses only rank #3 when it comes to receiving Valentine cards. #1? Teachers.
• On Valentines Day, almost 60% of the adults purchasing flowers as gifts are men.
• However, about 15% of women send themselves flowers on Valentines Day.
• 41% of women & 48% of men would prefer cash instead of flowers and/or chocolate for Valentines Day.
– National Retail Federation

BS CHRONOMETER 02.11.11

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1936 [75] Burt Reynolds, Waycross GA, movie actor (“Dukes of Hazzard”, “Smokey & the Bandit” films)/Emmy Award-winning TV actor (“Evening Shade” 1990-94)

1962 [49] Sheryl Crow, Kennett MO, pop singer (w/Kid Rock-“Picture”, “All I Wanna Do”)

1969 [42] Jennifer Aniston, Sherman Oaks CA, movie actress (“Just Go With It”, “The Break-Up”)/former TV actress (“Friends” 1994-2004)/ex-Mrs Brad Pitt (2000-05)

1977 [34] Mike Shinoda, Agoura CA, rock singer/songwriter (Linkin Park-“Numb”, “In the End”)

1979 [32] Brandy (Norwood), Macomb MS, pop singer (w/Monica-“The Boy Is Mine”, “Have You Ever?”)/TV personality (“Dancing With the Stars” 2010, “America’s Got Talent” 2006)

1981 [30] Kelly (Kelendria) Rowland, Atlanta GA, pop singer (w/Nelly-“Dilemma”, ex-Destiny’s Child-“Lose My Breath”)

1992 [19] Taylor Lautner, Grand Rapids MI, movie actor (“Twilight Saga” films).

SATURDAY –
Classic rock keyboardist Ray Manzarek (The Doors) is 72; Pop singer Michael McDonald (ex-Doobie Brothers) is 59; Movie actor Josh Brolin (“No Country For Old Men”) is 43; Pop bassist Jim Creeggan (Barenaked Ladies) is 41; TV actor Jesse Spencer (“House”) is 32; TV actress Sarah Lancaster (“Chuck”) is 31; Movie actress Christina Ricci (“Monster”) is 31.

SUNDAY –
TV talk-show host Jerry Springer is 67; Classic rock singer Peter Gabriel  (“Sledgehammer”) is 61; Rock bassist Todd Harrell (3 Doors Down) is 39; Pop singer Robbie Williams (“Angels”) is 37; Pop singer Feist (“1234”) is 35; Celebrity spawn Prince Michael Jackson Jr is 14.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Inventors Day”, honoring the birth of inventor Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931), who single-handedly patented some 1,200 inventions.
• “Pro Sports Wives Day”, the 6th annual declared by the Professional Sports Wives Association. In the US alone, there are some 500,000 married to pro athletes & coaches. The group even has it’s own magazine …
NET: http://www.prosportswives.com
• “Satisfied Staying Single Day”, for those who choose to live independently and are quite happy doing so.

SATURDAY –
• “Creative Romance Month”, when couples are encouraged to put the sizzle back into their relationships by adding some ‘intrigue’. (Get out the wetsuits and ‘Zorro’ masks?)
• “Lost Penny Day”, set aside to collect all of those wasted pennies stashed in jars & drawers around the house and put them back into circulation. Because a penny saved is … a waste of time. (Actually, a penny saved is a government oversight.)

SUNDAY –
• “Funeral Service Education Week”. To become an undertaker these days, you need to take a course in Funeral Service Education, known as ‘FUNS’.
• “International Condom Week”, just in time for Valentines Day. A poll by the makers of Durex condoms finds there aren’t many virgins left over the age of 25 … only 2% of those polled!
• “Random Acts of Kindness Week”, when we’re encouraged to anonymously perform good deeds for others without seeking credit for them.
• “World Marriage Day”, an annual recognition of married couples everywhere, with particular attention focused on those married longest. Sponsored by Worldwide Marriage Encounter, the largest pro-marriage & family movement in the world.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1997 [14] Country phenom LeAnn Rimes releases her 2nd album “The Early Years” … at age 14

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1948 [63] The ‘La-Z-Boy’ chair is invented (men worldwide immediately begin gaining weight)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1977 [34] ‘Heaviest Known Crustacean’ is caught off Nova Scotia, a 44.5-lb (20.2-kg) lobster which measures 3.5 ft (1 m) from claw-tip to tail-fan (and requires 13 lbs of liquified butter)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Mawlid al-Nabi (birthday of the Prophet Muhammad) begins at sundown (Muslim)
[Mon] Clean Out Your Computer Day
[Mon] Condom Day
[Mon] Call In Single Day
[Mon] Quirky Alone Day
This Week Is … Freelance Writers Appreciation Week
This Month Is … Pet Dental Health Month

BULL’S BITS

LEAST ROMANTIC VALENTINES CARDS:
• “You make me so excited, I just can’t hold my bladder.”
• “Thinking of you, sweetheart! Which, technically, the court order can’t prevent.”
• “I wanna be close to you like a leech on an abrasion.”
• “Just wanted to say ‘I love you’ when I wasn’t falling-down drunk.”
• “If only we weren’t so closely related!”
• “You’re too beautiful to resist, my under-the-ether dental patient.”
• “I want you like a dog wants a muscular leg.”
• “The medicated shampoo took care of it.”

BS PHONE STARTER:
Sunday is “Get A Different Name Day”, set aside to give us opportunity to pick one we’d really like. Find listeners with really odd names and ask them what nickname they’d like to be called.
Or ask what unusual nickname they have. Or maybe what nickname they wish they had?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I don’t know what the meaning of life is but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with sports.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 80% of men know THIS off the top of their head if you ask them; the other 20% have no idea.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: When Valentines Day is. (YourTango.com)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Don’t waste the whole day, laugh at least once.


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